Constant Anxiety

Good day to everyone.
Ever since I can remember, I have lived with what I call a "perpetual state of dread." No matter how righteous my intentions may be, there is always this internal voice—persistent and unrelenting—urging me to simply walk away from whatever task is at hand. During my school years, I did everything by the book; I studied, I completed assignments, I performed—yet the anxiety remained constant. I have attempted various remedies: long walks through local parks to clear my head, listening to ambient music, even regular exercise—but nothing provides lasting relief. Is this a natural predisposition for certain individuals, or is this a flaw I brought upon myself? I am hesitant to seek professional help because people in my life have become increasingly judgmental—constantly questioning, "Why are you so anxious?" or "What are you actually afraid of?" or "Just relax!" Please, I am asking for your insight. 😕

Betty Kim11 said:Good day to everyone.
Ever since I can remember, I have lived with what I call a "perpetual state of dread." No matter how righteous my intentions may be, there is always this internal voice—persistent and unrelenting—urging me to simply walk away from whatever task is at hand. During my school years, I did everything by the book; I studied, I completed assignments, I performed—yet the anxiety remained constant. I have attempted various remedies: long walks through local parks to clear my head, listening to ambient music, even regular exercise—but nothing provides lasting relief. Is this a natural predisposition for certain individuals, or is this a flaw I brought upon myself? I am hesitant to seek professional help because people in my life have become increasingly judgmental—constantly questioning, "Why are you so anxious?" or "What are you actually afraid of?" or "Just relax!" Please, I am asking for your insight. 😕

Honestly, it sounds like you're getting tripped up because you're worried your work won't measure up. Since these thoughts keep looping, that urge to quit is basically just your brain trying to dodge the fear and those heavy emotions. It's like you're actually afraid of the fear itself, you know?
At the end of the day, it usually boils down to a lack of self-confidence. That's why you shy away from showing what you've done, struggle to make decisions, and fall into that perfectionism trap...
The truth is, we all mess up. We all try our best, sometimes we nail it, and sometimes we totally tank. People with real confidence just see those misses as part of the process—it doesn't wreck their self-esteem. You aren't going to die if you don't get an A+ on a project, or if you stumble over your words and someone laughs, or if things aren't just perfect. Just stop stressing so much and do your best... hope for the best, and if it sucks, it sucks. If you let those thoughts eat at you, they'll eventually swallow you whole. Try to tell yourself, "I'm gonna give this my all, but whatever happens, happens." If it goes sideways, you'll just try harder next time, and that's really it...😉

Don't ever let one bad moment define who you are—and definitely don't let a few setbacks become the foundation of your entire identity.

Donna White50 said:Honestly, it sounds like you're getting tripped up because you're worried your work won't measure up. Since these thoughts keep looping, that urge to quit is basically just your brain trying to dodge the fear and those heavy emotions. It's like you're actually afraid of the fear itself, you know?
At the end of the day, it usually boils down to a lack of self-confidence. That's why you shy away from showing what you've done, struggle to make decisions, and fall into that perfectionism trap...
The truth is, we all mess up. We all try our best, sometimes we nail it, and sometimes we totally tank. People with real confidence just see those misses as part of the process—it doesn't wreck their self-esteem. You aren't going to die if you don't get an A+ on a project, or if you stumble over your words and someone laughs, or if things aren't just perfect. Just stop stressing so much and do your best... hope for the best, and if it sucks, it sucks. If you let those thoughts eat at you, they'll eventually swallow you whole. Try to tell yourself, "I'm gonna give this my all, but whatever happens, happens." If it goes sideways, you'll just try harder next time, and that's really it...😉

Don't ever let one bad moment define who you are—and definitely don't let a few setbacks become the foundation of your entire identity.

I appreciate the response, but I find it impossible to maintain an "I don't give a damn" attitude indefinitely. You're right, though—I need to stop obsessing over everyone else's opinion of me. Thank you.

Betty Kim11 said:I appreciate the response, but I find it impossible to maintain an "I don't give a damn" attitude indefinitely. You're right, though—I need to stop obsessing over everyone else's opinion of me. Thank you.

You gotta start somewhere, you know? If you're constantly sweating what people think every time you make a move, you end up becoming a total slave to their opinions... and you can't build any real self-confidence that way. You need that little mental sanctuary where you just say "screw it" and do your thing. Eventually, once that mindset sticks and your confidence starts climbing, it becomes second nature to only care about certain voices—and even then, you'll judge people by who they actually are, not just by what they tell you. You can't let yourself become too dependent on outside validation, otherwise you'll just live in fear, never truly find yourself, and spend your whole life chasing approval from your parents, your buddies, your boss, or your partner... basically becoming a spineless shell of a person without an identity because you're letting everyone else define who you are...😉

Betty Kim11 said:Good day to everyone.
Ever since I can remember, I have lived with what I call a "perpetual state of dread." No matter how righteous my intentions may be, there is always this internal voice—persistent and unrelenting—urging me to simply walk away from whatever task is at hand. During my school years, I did everything by the book; I studied, I completed assignments, I performed—yet the anxiety remained constant. I have attempted various remedies: long walks through local parks to clear my head, listening to ambient music, even regular exercise—but nothing provides lasting relief. Is this a natural predisposition for certain individuals, or is this a flaw I brought upon myself? I am hesitant to seek professional help because people in my life have become increasingly judgmental—constantly questioning, "Why are you so anxious?" or "What are you actually afraid of?" or "Just relax!" Please, I am asking for your insight. 😕

Please don't take my words as gospel, as I am certainly no clinical expert, but I suspect that the term "fear" might not be quite the right tool to describe what you're experiencing. You might find more clarity if you become a bit more precise when defining your mental state. Perhaps start by dissecting your core motivational structures. What are your fundamental beliefs? What truly drives you? Who are you at your essence, stripped away from your job title or your role in the family? Are those foundational motivations robust enough to support you, or are they somewhat fragile? It might help to look back at your life and try to categorize it into five or six distinct eras, specifically hunting for those stressful or uncomfortable chapters. If you focus on understanding them, you might discover that these unresolved past events are weighing on you in a way that psychologists would likely label as anxiety rather than simple fear. It could also be worth looking forward. Try to project yourself into the future: visualize the steps you need to take to reach an idealized version of yourself. It's possible that this anxiety stems from the sheer uncertainty of what's ahead, and working toward a concrete vision of your future self might help you feel better prepared for whatever challenges come your way.