Dealing with jealousy

lonegardener said:Not quite. 🤷 If you apply that same logic to yourself—basically allowing someone else to "own" you in the exact same way—then how can you possibly call it selfishness? If you aren't truly your own person to begin with, where is the self to be selfish? 😕

I’m not a fan of that term. To me, it feels like an attempt to "amnesty" what I see as pure selfishness. If we label everything above as just being selfish, then we're implying that selfishness isn't inherently bad—and once you go down that road, you can justify just about anything.

Of course, it’s pure selfishness. If you want to possess someone else while claiming you only belong to yourself—as if that somehow preserves your "autonomy"—you're just being self-centered.

I’d say something along those lines, though I might frame it a bit differently. I could also see myself coming to a slightly different conclusion.

Sure, the reason could be legitimate, or it might just be something someone made up. Personally, I tend to think it’s usually based on reality—that's your subconscious picking up on an actual situation where there's a genuine reason to feel jealous. It stems from that underlying fear that you're eventually going to lose what you consider "valuable."

So, people who claim they aren't jealous are really just devaluing what they supposedly "have." They tell themselves there are a million others just like you, all before the breakup even happens. Honestly, it makes the split so much easier to stomach if you've already mentally checked out and convinced yourself you're replaceable.

It reminds me of that old joke about John. When people ask him why he went and married such an unattractive woman, he just shrugs and says, "So I won't feel too bad when she eventually leaves me." 🤣

That isn't actually true, is it? I mean, would you honestly enjoy getting attention from someone who’s just a terrible person? Someone you don't even like, or who actually makes your skin crawl?

Only give your attention to the things you perceive as "positive." You could even go so far as to say, only focus on what you deem "eligible" from your own perspective. 😬

Sure, I’ve definitely run into people like that—the type who crave attention from absolutely anyone and everyone. To me, that feels like a pretty strange way to feed one's ego. Honestly, it just doesn't make any sense.

Sure, you can do that. But like I said, staring facts straight in the face isn't always helpful. If the reality of the situation is actually bad—meaning you have a legitimate, valid reason to feel jealous—then what does "facing the truth" really achieve? How is knowing you're right supposed to help you control the jealousy when the facts are just confirming that your suspicion is justified?

Look, I didn't mean it like that—I know how this comes across. But honestly, you were the one who said it was already over, so I'm just going by what you told me.

I completely agree. I’d much rather take a hammer to the head than a knife in the back, or a bullet to the forehead than being impaled on a stake. Just because there’s something even worse out there doesn't make the current situation "positive." Saying a knife in the back is worse doesn't mean you should celebrate getting hit with a hammer, or that it's something to be grateful for, LOL. You wouldn't say you "appreciate" a mugger just because he didn't kill anyone during the robbery. 🤣

Did you forget where we started this conversation? We began with an "honest" stance—that we’ll stick together until we find something better. The fact that being shady is even worse than our current spot doesn't make it a good thing. It’s simply choosing the lesser of two evils. That's my take on it, anyway; feel free to disagree if you think this is actually ideal. 😬

It seems to me that you and I are using different definitions of "selfishness." To me, selfishness is a fundamental human trait, whereas narcissism is negative in every context because a narcissist only cares about everyone else to the detriment of themselves.
Let me try to explain it this way: Can you love more than one woman at the same time? I personally couldn't love more than one man—I could fall in love, sure, but I couldn't *love*. Therefore, "selfishness" in romantic love means focusing your partner exclusively on one another without diluting that love by spreading it to others. That’s why I call romantic love "selfish."

Of course, it's toxic selfishness if you want to possess another person while viewing yourself as solely your own and no one else's—essentially, "maintaining your autonomy."

That's just narcissism.

I would say something similar to the point above, though perhaps with different wording and maybe a slightly different conclusion.

Then it isn't really all that similar. 🤣

Well, yes, the reason might be real, or it might be imagined. It seems to me that it's mostly real—that your subconscious is telling you what the actual situation is, and within that reality, there are legitimate reasons to feel jealous. You sense that, eventually, you're going to lose what you perceive as "valuable."

Exactly, I think so too.

So, those who claim they aren't jealous have actually just "devalued" what they supposedly "have." They tell themselves, "...there are a million people just like you," even before they break up. Of course, it makes a breakup much easier to handle if you've already reconciled yourself to it.

To me, that reminds me of that old joke about Moe, when he's asked why he married such an unattractive girl. He says, "So I won't regret it when she leaves me." 🤣

You could say that you simply realize everything is fleeting and come to terms with it (as much as possible). Speaking of jokes, there's also this one:
Moe brought five women along to pick a life partner. He spent a few hours there and walked away happy. Solomon asks him how he made his choice, and he explains that one was brilliant, another was an incredible cook, a third had a gentle soul...
"And which one did you pick?" Solomon asks impatiently.
"The one with the biggest breasts." 😁

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That isn't actually true, is it? You wouldn't find the attention of someone, say, a terrible guy "pleasing," especially if you actually found him repulsive.

In my case, it isn't, but I am hardly the standard, since it takes a very specific kind of man to attract me enough for me to actually enjoy his attention. 🤣-
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One only "enjoys" the attention of those they perceive "positively." Or perhaps, one could say, those perceived as "eligible" from their own perspective. 😬

That’s about it, and as I mentioned, such people are an extremely small minority.
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Though, truth be told, I have encountered those who "enjoy" anyone's attention, literally anyone. To me, that seems like a strange form of vanity. Illogical, really.

Well, I know plenty of people like that, particularly men.
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You can, but as I said, looking at the facts realistically doesn't necessarily help. If the factual reality is such that you actually HAVE a legitimate reason to be jealous, how does knowing that help you control the jealousy? It just confirms you have a reason for it.

It doesn't help me, because when I have a genuine reason to be jealous, I become unbearable. 😳-
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Um, I didn't mean to imply I knew "how." I just know it ended, as you said yourself.

Everything comes to an end eventually, and I'm sure you know that all true loves are tragic. 😁-

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No, I agree. A hammer to the head is better than a knife in the back, and a bullet to the forehead is better than being impaled. But just because something worse exists doesn't make the lesser evil "positive." Just because a knife in the back is worse doesn't mean you should celebrate getting hit with a hammer, or value it, LOL. You can't say you "appreciate" a robber just because he didn't kill anyone during the heist. 🤣

It really depends on your perspective. If you were the one being held hostage, you’d probably just be grateful they didn't pull the trigger, wouldn't you?

You seem to have forgotten where we started this conversation—with the idea of an "honest" approach, staying together until something better comes along. Just because settling for less is slightly better than choosing the absolute worst option doesn't make it a great way to live. That’s just my take; feel free to disagree if you think that's actually ideal. 😬

I haven't forgotten. But don't you think most relationships actually start that way? Or do you honestly believe every single romance is built on "love at first sight"?😬 Of course, that doesn't mean every casual beginning turns into some epic, soulmate-level love story, nor does it mean every relationship is a total disaster. You can never truly know where a relationship is headed or how it will end, regardless of how it kicked off.

lonegardener said:How exactly can someone tell that kind of truth without causing worry? I'm genuinely curious. What kind of wording should he have used instead?

I don't know, I can see it both ways. You ask "why plant a seed," and I'm asking "why stay silent if you've already noticed?" You obviously "noticed" those guys at work like you, right? You remember it, and you probably thought about it too... by your own logic, that means they like you just because you picked up on it. 😬

In my view, it's the truth in both your case and his. 😈 That's just how it works; your subconscious is telling you what this actually means for your relationship, even if your conscious mind isn't ready to accept the conclusion.

Look, it’s a double-edged sword. If someone tells me they find me attractive, I’m immediately suspicious of their motives. But if they don't say anything and I find out from someone else later? Well, then I’m coming for them. 😁 🤣

The bottom line is that we can only guess what's going on in someone's head and why they act the way they do.

Sean Cruz said:Look, it’s a double-edged sword. If someone tells me they find me attractive, I’m immediately suspicious of their motives. But if they don't say anything and I find out from someone else later? Well, then I’m coming for them. 😁 🤣

The bottom line is that we can only guess what's going on in someone's head and why they act the way they do.

So, it looks like that old cliché holds up: it is impossible to please a woman. 😬 🤣

lonegardener said:So, it looks like that old cliché holds up: it is impossible to please a woman. 😬 🤣

Not necessarily—if he manages to survive the fallout, he might just earn some credit. 😁 🤣

By the way, I can't believe you've actually lost interest in debating a topic; it feels like I'm single-handedly draining your will to argue. 😛 🤣

I wouldn't even bring it up. Honestly, if my boyfriend notices some girl is hot—and she knows it too—but he just gives her a glance and moves on without making a thing of it, there’s zero reason to mention it. No one is going to call me out if nothing obvious is happening.
Now, if someone actually starts hitting on him in a way everyone can see (which, let's be real, happened once), then yeah, he can tell me how much that woman is getting on his nerves. He can say he thinks she's fishing for something, even though it's crystal clear they're just coworkers and he’s shutting that kind of vibe down.
There was this one incredibly awkward situation where the woman was being way too blatant, so he did tell me, but that’s a totally different story. In that case, I would have said something too.
Otherwise, if I noticed something myself and really sat with it, I'd feel like he was staying quiet just to play some weird game. Truthfully, I'm just happy he's an honest guy.
But it feels like either every single woman is obsessed with him the moment he walks in—from the barista to his colleagues—or he's just overthinking the fact that other women find him attractive.
Look, we're adults. We get that it's perfectly normal to be attractive to people; we can just ignore it. We aren't eight years old.
Example 3:
Him: "Hey Anne, look, you're my girl, but Ivy was hovering around me during the break yesterday after math class, and I'm pretty sure she's crushing on me.😊"
Her: "Alright, alright, Philip... is she your new crush now? And here I thought it was me, especially since you were carving 'Anne + Philip' into the bench yesterday.😢😢"

Honestly, we all act like children sometimes. But he's the one who started it. 🙂

lonegardener said:How exactly can someone tell that kind of truth without causing worry? I'm genuinely curious. What kind of wording should he have used instead?

I don't know, I can see it both ways. You ask "why plant a seed," and I'm asking "why stay silent if you've already noticed?" You obviously "noticed" those guys at work like you, right? You remember it, and you probably thought about it too... by your own logic, that means they like you just because you picked up on it. 😬

In my view, it's the truth in both your case and his. 😈 That's just how it works; your subconscious is telling you what this actually means for your relationship, even if your conscious mind isn't ready to accept the conclusion.

I’ve honestly just come to see this as totally standard—nothing out of the ordinary at all. It’s one of those things that feels completely normal to me. Actually, I love the idea; I’d probably try to set up a little group arrangement with my girlfriends on my days off.
Honestly, I wouldn't even give them a second thought if they weren't actually decent-looking people—which, let's be real, is the only reason they're even on my radar. But honestly? I just don't feel the urge. It’s actually getting pretty boring at this point. I know myself well enough to know how I get once I’m actually falling for someone and fully in a relationship. Right now? None of them even come close to my standards. Not even close.

Just accept who he is. You clearly love feeding that ego of yours, and you'll always fall for those little lines, even when he hasn't actually done anything. 🙄
You aren't going to change him, no matter how much you vent or try to bottle it up. Honestly? Just figure out if you can actually live like this first.

Sean Cruz said:Not necessarily—if he manages to survive the fallout, he might just earn some credit. 😁 🤣

By the way, I can't believe you've actually lost interest in debating a topic; it feels like I'm single-handedly draining your will to argue. 😛 🤣

That’s not really the point... we're just drifting away from the topic here. If everyone were constantly going off on tangents, it wouldn't be an issue, but right now it just looks like we're hijacking the thread.

There are other reasons too, but explaining them would just be more digging into side topics. 😬

steeltiger2 said:I’ve honestly just come to see this as totally standard—nothing out of the ordinary at all. It’s one of those things that feels completely normal to me. Actually, I love the idea; I’d probably try to set up a little group arrangement with my girlfriends on my days off.
Honestly, I wouldn't even give them a second thought if they weren't actually decent-looking people—which, let's be real, is the only reason they're even on my radar. But honestly? I just don't feel the urge. It’s actually getting pretty boring at this point. I know myself well enough to know how I get once I’m actually falling for someone and fully in a relationship. Right now? None of them even come close to my standards. Not even close.

🤷 Well, here you are, right now, on this forum, talking about these guys. You're saying they're okay and attractive, but that you aren't interested and find it all quite dull.

Why wouldn't you mention something like that to your boyfriend? Just as casually as you're telling us here. Why does it feel fine to discuss it on a forum, yet you feel there's no reason to bring it up with him?

To me, the logic seems to work the other way around.

What do you think—does he sit around at work with his buddies, joking about how a female colleague is hitting on him? Would it bother you if you found out through someone else that he was doing that? Or would it? Is it the action itself that bothers you, or the fact that you had to find out? 🤷

I remember a coworker once mentioning how much he wanted to hook up with his then-girlfriend's sister (who actually ended up becoming his wife later). He probably didn't tell her that. So, do you believe in "what you don't know won't hurt you"—or would you rather know the truth?

lonegardener said:🤷 Well, here you are, right now, on this forum, talking about these guys. You're saying they're okay and attractive, but that you aren't interested and find it all quite dull.

Why wouldn't you mention something like that to your boyfriend? Just as casually as you're telling us here. Why does it feel fine to discuss it on a forum, yet you feel there's no reason to bring it up with him?

To me, the logic seems to work the other way around.

What do you think—does he sit around at work with his buddies, joking about how a female colleague is hitting on him? Would it bother you if you found out through someone else that he was doing that? Or would it? Is it the action itself that bothers you, or the fact that you had to find out? 🤷

I remember a coworker once mentioning how much he wanted to hook up with his then-girlfriend's sister (who actually ended up becoming his wife later). He probably didn't tell her that. So, do you believe in "what you don't know won't hurt you"—or would you rather know the truth?

I was just mentioning that I need to pay him back, so we haven't really spoken for a few days.

lonegardener said:🤷 Well, here you are, right now, on this forum, talking about these guys. You're saying they're okay and attractive, but that you aren't interested and find it all quite dull.

Why wouldn't you mention something like that to your boyfriend? Just as casually as you're telling us here. Why does it feel fine to discuss it on a forum, yet you feel there's no reason to bring it up with him?

To me, the logic seems to work the other way around.

What do you think—does he sit around at work with his buddies, joking about how a female colleague is hitting on him? Would it bother you if you found out through someone else that he was doing that? Or would it? Is it the action itself that bothers you, or the fact that you had to find out? 🤷

I remember a coworker once mentioning how much he wanted to hook up with his then-girlfriend's sister (who actually ended up becoming his wife later). He probably didn't tell her that. So, do you believe in "what you don't know won't hurt you"—or would you rather know the truth?

No, he isn't like that. It's just... looking back, I realize how much I can let jealousy get the better of me. That's why I said it's painful. Honestly, the things that bother me are nothing compared to what other people go through.
And of course I'd want to know. I mean, unless I want to blow up my life by breaking up or spend my entire existence living a lie, I need the facts. But honestly? A man who talks like that about a woman who is actually good to him—someone he'd cheat on—is just fundamentally different. You can usually tell what kind of person someone is; you can sense it. And you eventually find out the truth, provided you actually put in the effort to vet the person you're sharing your life with.

steeltiger2 said:Honestly, if things go south, he’ll probably be the one to walk away from me anyway...
And I definitely don't want things to spiral, because I'll end up in a hospital bed at this rate.

What does "trusting him" even mean in this context?
I believe he won't cheat on me. I'm not constantly terrified that I'll lose him overnight. I truly believe he loves me right now.
The real fear—the actual anxiety—is that someone better will show up eventually. Like, one bright, sunny morning while he's working on a big project with his colleagues, they bring in a new partner. She's incredibly attractive, maybe a bit "stunning," and she actually understands the technical side of the job. They grab a coffee to talk shop, and he starts enjoying her company so much that he realizes—not even thinking about it, just feeling it deep down—that he'd rather spend his time with her than with me.
Say she talks to him about specialized medicine that he's passionate about (which is an area I know absolutely nothing about), and she's clearly at a higher professional level. He respects her, admires her as a powerhouse in the medical field, feels understood by her, finds her motivating, and, well, she flirts with him too... then one day, he just comes home and tells me, almost casually, how much he feels drawn to this doctor, just so I'd know... that would just break me.
So, I find myself spinning these entire scenarios in my head, sometimes completely out of nowhere. It just pops in. Is he really to blame for that?🤷

Are you afraid that someone more "qualified" than you will come along and sweep him away, or are you actually afraid that he's just waiting for an opportunity to jump ship—that typical opportunistic streak some men have? Think about that...
Besides, when a man constantly praises other women but hasn't complimented his own partner in years, jealousy isn't coming from her; it's a direct reaction to his behavior.

steeltiger2 said:It’s always "shoot first, ask questions later" with some people, isn't it? Honestly, I don't know how they do it. I spend half my life overthinking every single word, carefully weighing my phrasing just so I don't accidentally bruise someone's ego or cause unnecessary drama. I'm constantly walking on eggshells, trying to be tactful. But them? They just blurt out the raw truth and move on like nothing happened. It’s wild. You can tell someone the hard truth, sure, but you do it with enough grace that they aren't left reeling or spiraling afterward. There's an art to it, really.
Do you think they actually have no idea what they're after? Because if that's the case... well, that's just not a good look. Honestly.

Yeah, that’s totally plausible. Honestly, I know I catch some eyes at my office—and trust me, there are definitely some good-looking guys around—but I’d feel like such a phony if I actually went around telling people I was desirable. It’s just not something I care about in life. That's all there is to it. Why would you even go out of your way to whisper something in someone's ear just to mess with their head? The only reason to do that is to stir up jealousy, which is just such an immature way to act. And really, why bother?

Honestly, he’s pushed me so far past my limit with all this nonsense that I’ve actually started thinking about how to go out and arm myself. I mean, seriously—I’m sitting here wondering how to get enough gear so I can actually fight back. If I’m going to protect myself and stand my ground, I need more than just words. What else is there to do? I need some way to defend myself before I lose it completely.
Picture this: your heart is absolutely hammering against your ribs, your head feels like it’s seconds away from an outright explosion, and your blood pressure is spiking so hard you can practically feel the pulse in your temples. Just imagine that kind of raw, white-knuckle tension sustained for as long as it takes to finally burn itself out. Now... just think about what you'd actually *do* with all that frantic, unspent energy.🤷

Hmm... I see bits of myself in this. Maybe his behavior irritates you specifically because you aren't that type of person and you actually care about his feelings.
My partner drops gems like that too, and I spend ages trying to figure out if there's any actual logic behind them. For example: "I was at a lecture today. It was boring. Oh, and there was this tiny girl walking around like a little cowgirl—totally unladylike. She had a nice face, though." 😕
And then I'm left wondering what on earth that has to do with anything. Maybe he wants me to think it matters?
It confuses me because I value my own integrity. I don't run every single thought or encounter by him, even when they happen. To me, that kind of talk feels like pure ego-stroking—just inflating oneself while intentionally (or maybe subconsciously) hurting your partner.
The bottom line is that what he says doesn't matter. What matters is how he acts. Any smart woman with actual intuition will sense if her partner's behavior has truly shifted. That's when you pull the alarm.

Otherwise, just let it go and enjoy yourself. Life should be simple. That's how you should set it up. 👍

Adam Miller46 said:Are you afraid that someone more "qualified" than you will come along and sweep him away, or are you actually afraid that he's just waiting for an opportunity to jump ship—that typical opportunistic streak some men have? Think about that...
Besides, when a man constantly praises other women but hasn't complimented his own partner in years, jealousy isn't coming from her; it's a direct reaction to his behavior.

It's not about him hunting for someone better; I just know that's how it works. But I find myself overthinking everything, including the possibility that there might be someone out there superior to me—and honestly, that's where my irrational doubts start creeping in. It sounds ridiculous, really, but since I don't have any male friends and didn't grow up with a father figure around, I end up questioning everything. I've mostly just absorbed all these different perspectives on men from stories I've heard, though most of that came from my younger brother, and he's still just a kid.

hollowcanyon8 said:Hmm... I see bits of myself in this. Maybe his behavior irritates you specifically because you aren't that type of person and you actually care about his feelings.
My partner drops gems like that too, and I spend ages trying to figure out if there's any actual logic behind them. For example: "I was at a lecture today. It was boring. Oh, and there was this tiny girl walking around like a little cowgirl—totally unladylike. She had a nice face, though." 😕
And then I'm left wondering what on earth that has to do with anything. Maybe he wants me to think it matters?
It confuses me because I value my own integrity. I don't run every single thought or encounter by him, even when they happen. To me, that kind of talk feels like pure ego-stroking—just inflating oneself while intentionally (or maybe subconsciously) hurting your partner.
The bottom line is that what he says doesn't matter. What matters is how he acts. Any smart woman with actual intuition will sense if her partner's behavior has truly shifted. That's when you pull the alarm.

Otherwise, just let it go and enjoy yourself. Life should be simple. That's how you should set it up. 👍

It's just so incredibly stupid, and frankly, it gets under my skin. Then my friend has the nerve to tell me I just need to accept that, well, he's a man. As if women are supposed to be these ethereal, otherworldly beings floating above it all. 🙄
Look, I'm a human being. I'm not blind, I have hormones, and I have eyes that actually work. I don't appreciate tasteless, mindless commentary. Sure, thoughts are private—everyone's entitled to their own headspace—but it's about what you actually do, what you say, and how you carry yourself in the real world.
It's perfectly normal to wonder what someone is actually getting at when they make comments like that.

Hey, steeltiger2,

Just tell him straight up: stop coming at you with that nonsense. He needs to realize you couldn't care less about his little popularity contest or who’s crushing on him. Honestly, the whole thing sounds incredibly pathetic—like he's dealing with some massive inferiority complex and has convinced himself everyone is head over heels for him just to feel better about himself...

Tell him that kind of slimy ego trip is just gross, and frankly, it’s a far cry from what you actually look for in a man. 😁😉

Unfortunately, I fall into that category of people who deal with intense jealousy—it’s been a real struggle. It actually reached a point where I slapped my girlfriend once, even though I’m not typically a violent or aggressive person. I feel a lot of shame even admitting this, let alone asking for help...😢

Brian Barrett5 said:Unfortunately, I fall into that category of people who deal with intense jealousy—it’s been a real struggle. It actually reached a point where I slapped my girlfriend once, even though I’m not typically a violent or aggressive person. I feel a lot of shame even admitting this, let alone asking for help...😢

Look, I’m a woman, so I don't go around throwing punches—mostly because I'm not exactly built for combat—but honestly? Even if I were a guy, I know I wouldn't change my stance one bit. I have this absolute certainty about it. I’d probably just end up decking any jerk who dared to get too close to her. Not that I'm actually recommending anyone go out and start a brawl, obviously! But if you're asking me personally... well, I'm not sure I could even hold myself back.

So, what exactly would you do if you were in my shoes? What’s your take on the whole situation?

Honestly, I really think you need to reach out for some professional help here. We aren't just talking about a little spat or a heated argument—we're talking about physical violence within a relationship, and that is a massive deal. It’s heavy stuff. A specialist would completely understand why you'd seek support; in fact, stepping up and asking for help is actually an act of bravery. It’s a strong, healthy move. There is absolutely nothing shameful about it.🙂

Nicholas Edwards10 said:Hey, steeltiger2,

Just tell him straight up: stop coming at you with that nonsense. He needs to realize you couldn't care less about his little popularity contest or who’s crushing on him. Honestly, the whole thing sounds incredibly pathetic—like he's dealing with some massive inferiority complex and has convinced himself everyone is head over heels for him just to feel better about himself...

Tell him that kind of slimy ego trip is just gross, and frankly, it’s a far cry from what you actually look for in a man. 😁😉

🙂 I know I've said it before, but sometimes those dark thoughts just take over anyway.

steeltiger2 said:Look, I’m a woman, so I don't go around throwing punches—mostly because I'm not exactly built for combat—but honestly? Even if I were a guy, I know I wouldn't change my stance one bit. I have this absolute certainty about it. I’d probably just end up decking any jerk who dared to get too close to her. Not that I'm actually recommending anyone go out and start a brawl, obviously! But if you're asking me personally... well, I'm not sure I could even hold myself back.

So, what exactly would you do if you were in my shoes? What’s your take on the whole situation?

Honestly, I really think you need to reach out for some professional help here. We aren't just talking about a little spat or a heated argument—we're talking about physical violence within a relationship, and that is a massive deal. It’s heavy stuff. A specialist would completely understand why you'd seek support; in fact, stepping up and asking for help is actually an act of bravery. It’s a strong, healthy move. There is absolutely nothing shameful about it.🙂

In my case, things got pretty intense when she was away at her high school prom. For those seven or eight days, I was a complete wreck. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, totally restless, with my head spinning from movies playing in my mind about her being with someone else. Jealousy mixed with a few drinks... man, that's a dangerous combo. I'm really not an aggressive person by nature, or anything like that, but it was rough.

Brian Barrett5 said:In my case, things got pretty intense when she was away at her high school prom. For those seven or eight days, I was a complete wreck. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, totally restless, with my head spinning from movies playing in my mind about her being with someone else. Jealousy mixed with a few drinks... man, that's a dangerous combo. I'm really not an aggressive person by nature, or anything like that, but it was rough.

Man, I know that feeling all too well.😢 I had a friend who went through the exact same thing while his girlfriend was traveling; he completely spiraled and invented scenarios out of thin air. She wasn't even doing anything! The real issue lies within us—the pathologically jealous ones. It's all happening inside our own heads.
When my boyfriend was away on a business trip, I was practically dying from the anxiety.
I need someone else to weigh in with some actual wisdom here, because if it were up to me, I'd have fixed this internal problem ages ago.