Feeling a bit burnt out?

I've decided there’s no point in dumping everything I wrote on this forum, so I'll just leave it at this:

I used to be incredibly lazy. I could spend an entire week rotting in bed without feeling a shred of guilt or self-loathing.
But things have changed completely. If I don't stay busy all day long... it doesn't matter what it is—whether I'm running errands, dropping the car off at a mechanic, meeting friends for coffee, or just going for a walk—as long as I'm moving, I'm fine. I feel productive, and I can actually stop overthinking everything that's tearing me apart. But the moment I get home, once the dust settles and I find even a single second of downtime... I'm back to being a wreck. 🙄 My head starts spinning with all those old thoughts again, and I usually end up breaking down by the end of the night...

Today, I actually cleaned the entire house, which almost never happens (usually a major point of contention with my parents, by the way)... what does that tell you?
I'm making up nonsense tasks, like drinking tea three times a day or painting my nails... anything just to stay constantly occupied. It’s starting to feel a little pathological.
I don't know what's happening to me, but I get the sense that if I were still just "rotting" at home doing nothing, I would have hit rock bottom by now.
Staying active and feeling somewhat useful to myself and my family is the only thing keeping me afloat and distracting me from all the bullshit life has thrown my way. But I have to wonder... how much longer can these manufactured obligations "save" me from my actual mental state? When will these chores stop being a temporary band-aid for my lack of stability and... normalcy?

I feel like a complete emotional wreck.
Thanks.

You claim you’re a lazy soul—someone who could realistically spend an entire day horizontal without even needing a bed.
Well, if that doesn't bother you, maybe it should.

But now, suddenly, you’re constantly on the move, and it seems to have left you feeling pretty anxious.
Honestly? There isn't any reason to worry.

Just stick with this active lifestyle—even if you end up breaking down at the end of the day—because one of these days, instead of tears, you’ll just feel perfectly composed.

I’ve been feeling the same way lately... I can't help but wonder if these are just the first signs of depression trying to sneak in through the back door or what...

I can't say I agree that everything is fine.

It actually reminds me a bit of how I’ve been handling things lately; I’ve been keeping myself buried under a thousand different tasks just so I don't have to sit still with my own thoughts.😁

The way you're describing this feels like classic avoidance to me—like there are certain things weighing on you, and instead of taking a moment to actually process them or try to fix them, you're doing the exact opposite by staying busy just to stay distracted.

You won't be able to keep up this pace forever, and honestly, you might just hit a breaking point right when you least expect it.😢

When I’m spiraling into a depressive episode, I basically just lie there and refuse to budge. Usually, though, I’m a total workaholic who can't stay still.😁 It seems like we all tend to swing toward these extreme ends of the spectrum once life starts throwing everything at us at once.

Have you considered sitting down with a professional? It might actually make a difference.

To me, it feels like you’re trying to avoid being alone with your own thoughts. When you finally stop running and sit with yourself, everything you've been pushing down tends to bubble to the surface. And clearly, there's something worth addressing if you're feeling the need to suppress it. Talking it out would help. It doesn't necessarily have to be a specialist, though perhaps someone more experienced than just a friend might be better...

I honestly feel like if you can't find a way to be comfortable in your own company at any given moment, there might be some deeper issues at play.. Try spending an entire day doing absolutely nothing—just sitting with yourself—and see what happens. You might find yourself feeling restless, or perhaps some old, nagging thoughts from your subconscious will start bubbling up. It’s often in those quiet moments that you finally realize exactly what you need to work on to move forward.

Carol Nguyen63 said:It sounds to me like you’re just running away. Something is eating at you, and instead of taking the time to actually sit with it and figure things out, you're doing the exact opposite: staying busy just so you don't have to think.

The thing is, my problems aren't exactly "solvable." I don't know how else to put it, but there isn't one specific thing... I just feel lost. Someone I care about deeply—and who cares about me—doesn't live in this country anymore; they're halfway across the world, and they meant everything to me. 😢So, on top of feeling lonely and stuck in an unrequited situation, I'm spiraling with questions like, "What am I even doing with my life?" or "Will I even finish this degree, and if I don't, what then? And if I do, what happens next?"
It feels like I'm in this massive existential crisis... the kind you can't fix by just sitting down and thinking, because there isn't a quick fix for these kinds of things. It's stuff that will probably only unfold over the next few years. 😕
And I'm the type of person who overanalyzes everything... so I'm not avoiding thought. I'm avoiding the fact that I've already analyzed everything thoroughly and still have absolutely no answers.
Honestly, when I really stop to think about it, that's what's killing me mentally... I see no way out. It's like staring into a massive black hole. 😕

electrictiger70 said:To me, it sounds like you're trying to avoid being alone with yourself, because the second you are, everything you've been suppressing starts bubbling up to the surface. Clearly, whatever you're pushing down is an issue. It might help to talk to someone. Not necessarily a therapist, but maybe just someone better equipped to listen.

I try not to be alone because lately, I've realized that whenever I am, the waves of emotion and despair just start hitting me again... and I'm exhausted by it. 😢I just want to feel happy and lighthearted like I used to be. 😢 But I can't seem to find my way back.

I totally get where you're coming from. I’ve spent a lot of time overthinking everything myself, and I often find myself stuck without any real answers. On the surface, I act like I’ve got it all together—like nothing can touch me—but then one day I just wake up and realize the weight of it all is hitting me hard, just not in the usual way. It’s more like I'll just retreat into a corner, turn off the lights, have a good cry, and then try to move on with my life.
It’s honestly better to just lean into it—to let yourself be upset, cry it out, and shed every tear you've got—rather than letting all that emotional junk pile up until one tiny little thing causes the whole heap to spill over. Trust me, feeling the sting now is much safer than trying to distract yourself by painting your nails just to avoid facing what's actually happening.😢
That being said, are you really certain there aren't any solutions waiting down the road? You aren't going to be stuck in this exact spot forever, right?😢
And regarding college, are you actually studying something you're passionate about?

Jesse Cruz3 said:The thing is, my problems aren't exactly "solvable." I don't know how else to put it, but there isn't one specific thing... I just feel lost. Someone I care about deeply—and who cares about me—doesn't live in this country anymore; they're halfway across the world, and they meant everything to me. 😢So, on top of feeling lonely and stuck in an unrequited situation, I'm spiraling with questions like, "What am I even doing with my life?" or "Will I even finish this degree, and if I don't, what then? And if I do, what happens next?"
It feels like I'm in this massive existential crisis... the kind you can't fix by just sitting down and thinking, because there isn't a quick fix for these kinds of things. It's stuff that will probably only unfold over the next few years. 😕
And I'm the type of person who overanalyzes everything... so I'm not avoiding thought. I'm avoiding the fact that I've already analyzed everything thoroughly and still have absolutely no answers.
Honestly, when I really stop to think about it, that's what's killing me mentally... I see no way out. It's like staring into a massive black hole. 😕

I try not to be alone because lately, I've realized that whenever I am, the waves of emotion and despair just start hitting me again... and I'm exhausted by it. 😢I just want to feel happy and lighthearted like I used to be. 😢 But I can't seem to find my way back.

You're totally wrong!
Just stay by yourself for a bit, you know? Let things play out however they're gonna play out. Honestly, sooner or later you’re just gonna have to face those emotions head-on—face *yourself*. It’s gonna be messy, too. There’s gonna be some bitterness and that total sense of despair you mentioned—but man, you really have to let all that stuff "drain out" of you first. Think about it: until you've fully emptied out all that heavy, dark energy, there’s just no room left to fill up with anything new or positive. Don't try to run away from who you are!

Carol Nguyen63 said:I totally get where you're coming from. I’ve spent a lot of time overthinking everything myself, and I often find myself stuck without any real answers. On the surface, I act like I’ve got it all together—like nothing can touch me—but then one day I just wake up and realize the weight of it all is hitting me hard, just not in the usual way. It’s more like I'll just retreat into a corner, turn off the lights, have a good cry, and then try to move on with my life.
It’s honestly better to just lean into it—to let yourself be upset, cry it out, and shed every tear you've got—rather than letting all that emotional junk pile up until one tiny little thing causes the whole heap to spill over. Trust me, feeling the sting now is much safer than trying to distract yourself by painting your nails just to avoid facing what's actually happening.😢
That being said, are you really certain there aren't any solutions waiting down the road? You aren't going to be stuck in this exact spot forever, right?😢
And regarding college, are you actually studying something you're passionate about?

I'm totally with you there... honestly, that phrase about us just "piling up trash" hits the nail right on the head!

Carol Nguyen63 said:I totally get where you're coming from. I’ve spent a lot of time overthinking everything myself, and I often find myself stuck without any real answers. On the surface, I act like I’ve got it all together—like nothing can touch me—but then one day I just wake up and realize the weight of it all is hitting me hard, just not in the usual way. It’s more like I'll just retreat into a corner, turn off the lights, have a good cry, and then try to move on with my life.
It’s honestly better to just lean into it—to let yourself be upset, cry it out, and shed every tear you've got—rather than letting all that emotional junk pile up until one tiny little thing causes the whole heap to spill over. Trust me, feeling the sting now is much safer than trying to distract yourself by painting your nails just to avoid facing what's actually happening.😢
That being said, are you really certain there aren't any solutions waiting down the road? You aren't going to be stuck in this exact spot forever, right?😢
And regarding college, are you actually studying something you're passionate about?

I’ve been hit by this sudden dread about what my life is actually going to look like.
I don't know, lately I was all about "going out, partying, wasting time," while everything else just sat on the back burner... then some things happened and certain people came along who actually forced me to think—to want independence, to travel... but all of that feels lightyears away until I find a job or finish my degree... and there's still so much time left. I think those desires were always there, but maybe it finally clicked that I'm not getting younger, quite the opposite. If I don't take action now, will I just wake up one day realizing I haven't gone anywhere, accomplished nothing, and my life is a total wash?
The biggest trigger for this crisis was probably this guy who moved away to chase a better life... he reminded me that he's actually out there (in the places I've always wanted to be), while I'm still here... just the thought of being stuck here for the rest of my life is revolting.
And yeah, I am studying what I love... I'm lucky enough to have that much... 🙂 though it can get brutal at my university, which definitely drains my spirit and motivation sometimes. 😁

I've noticed that as the days go by, when I finally break down and cry, it lasts a little less time than the day before. 🙂 That's a small mercy. 🙂

Thanks for even bothering to read this nonsense and comment on it. 🙂

Jesse Cruz3 said:I’ve been hit by this sudden dread about what my life is actually going to look like.
I don't know, lately I was all about "going out, partying, wasting time," while everything else just sat on the back burner... then some things happened and certain people came along who actually forced me to think—to want independence, to travel... but all of that feels lightyears away until I find a job or finish my degree... and there's still so much time left. I think those desires were always there, but maybe it finally clicked that I'm not getting younger, quite the opposite. If I don't take action now, will I just wake up one day realizing I haven't gone anywhere, accomplished nothing, and my life is a total wash?
The biggest trigger for this crisis was probably this guy who moved away to chase a better life... he reminded me that he's actually out there (in the places I've always wanted to be), while I'm still here... just the thought of being stuck here for the rest of my life is revolting.
And yeah, I am studying what I love... I'm lucky enough to have that much... 🙂 though it can get brutal at my university, which definitely drains my spirit and motivation sometimes. 😁

I've noticed that as the days go by, when I finally break down and cry, it lasts a little less time than the day before. 🙂 That's a small mercy. 🙂

Thanks for even bothering to read this nonsense and comment on it. 🙂

I'd say there's a silver lining here if this realization pushes you to see that partying needs to take a backseat to self-growth. Realizing now that you don't want to hit 40 and think, "Where has the time gone? I've done nothing," is actually a huge win. The worst thing that can happen is reaching an age where
it's too late, realizing we can't turn back the clock and that we didn't come close to doing what we truly wanted.
Being able to study something you love is everything, believe me; the rest usually falls into place. My other life goals are a bit scattered right now, so the fact that I'm pursuing my passion and actually succeeding at it is what keeps me going. And I have a feeling you're doing alright with your studies, too.😉
Because no amount of external love can help us if we aren't happy with ourselves first. Being content with who you are is the foundation; once you have that, you can actually pour all that energy into a relationship with someone else.
As for that guy living a better life elsewhere—honestly, if you two are truly meant to be, I really believe there's a chance this isn't the end of the road for you.😉
If it is, then someone who fits you much better will come along, so just focus on yourself for now.🙂
And don't fall into the trap of thinking you'll be stuck here forever; I felt the exact same way not that long ago, and now my plans to move away in the near future are actually starting to look pretty real. Anything is possible when you decide it is.😉

I was pretty brief in my first post without much context, but here’s a bit more detail.
The concept of "moving" definitely holds true. Obsessing over your problems won't actually fix them—it just creates a loop. Analysis after analysis... and instead of making progress, you just end up feeling worse. On one hand, this "movement" allows your subconscious to process and organize information and impressions. If we constantly try to consciously dissect everything, we fall into the trap of ignoring vital input, which makes our analysis flawed. On the other hand, it opens the door to fresh information and new people.

In your case, I think there's also a fear of growing up—specifically that total sense of independence—but mostly, it seems you're afraid to actually visualize your life goals. It's a lack of direction. Once you set a major goal, sure, obstacles will pop up along the way, but you can overcome them if you haven't lost sight of the destination. Otherwise, all you see are the hurdles, and you lose track of what you actually want. Without a goal, you're just wandering aimlessly—basically running in circles.

Once you commit to a goal—once you truly decide—you'll find that things start to fall into place. You'll find the time, the energy, and the willpower to push through any obstacle in your path. Your brain starts working on how to optimally achieve what you want, leaving no "room" for those endless, unproductive analyses.

Of course, during that journey toward your goal, it's perfectly fine to change your mind, pivot your plans, or even change your "destination" entirely.

And who says you have to stay in one place forever? Don't kid yourself; you just need a little courage and that initial spark of will to get moving.

👍Don't worry about it, just keep writing. It'll help you clear your head—and honestly, anyone who isn't interested won't bother reading anyway.

Austin Hernandez11 said:I was pretty brief in my first post without much context, but here’s a bit more detail.
The concept of "moving" definitely holds true. Obsessing over your problems won't actually fix them—it just creates a loop. Analysis after analysis... and instead of making progress, you just end up feeling worse. On one hand, this "movement" allows your subconscious to process and organize information and impressions. If we constantly try to consciously dissect everything, we fall into the trap of ignoring vital input, which makes our analysis flawed. On the other hand, it opens the door to fresh information and new people.

In your case, I think there's also a fear of growing up—specifically that total sense of independence—but mostly, it seems you're afraid to actually visualize your life goals. It's a lack of direction. Once you set a major goal, sure, obstacles will pop up along the way, but you can overcome them if you haven't lost sight of the destination. Otherwise, all you see are the hurdles, and you lose track of what you actually want. Without a goal, you're just wandering aimlessly—basically running in circles.

Once you commit to a goal—once you truly decide—you'll find that things start to fall into place. You'll find the time, the energy, and the willpower to push through any obstacle in your path. Your brain starts working on how to optimally achieve what you want, leaving no "room" for those endless, unproductive analyses.

Of course, during that journey toward your goal, it's perfectly fine to change your mind, pivot your plans, or even change your "destination" entirely.

And who says you have to stay in one place forever? Don't kid yourself; you just need a little courage and that initial spark of will to get moving.

👍Don't worry about it, just keep writing. It'll help you clear your head—and honestly, anyone who isn't interested won't bother reading anyway.

Could you maybe dive a little deeper into what you meant by that snippet? I didn't quite catch your drift, but I am super curious (especially about the bolded part)!

To be real, I know people nearby who almost obsessively clung to this idea of "just moving on" as their big solution to everything, and what Jesse Cruz3 wrote really reminded me of them. But, I never actually got the vibe that this "moving on" thing worked for them—like, it didn't seem like they actually conquered the stuff they were trying to escape.

Actually, it feels like even after years went by, they still haven't cleared out those old issues and conflicts in their heads, and the worst part is they never really looked inward at all. It's like they skipped that "heart-to-heart with themselves" when it actually mattered... So now, years later, I'm stuck dealing with neurotic types who are just a total handful for themselves and everyone else.

Jesse Cruz3 said:I’ve been hit by this sudden dread about what my life is actually going to look like.
I don't know, lately I was all about "going out, partying, wasting time," while everything else just sat on the back burner... then some things happened and certain people came along who actually forced me to think—to want independence, to travel... but all of that feels lightyears away until I find a job or finish my degree... and there's still so much time left. I think those desires were always there, but maybe it finally clicked that I'm not getting younger, quite the opposite. If I don't take action now, will I just wake up one day realizing I haven't gone anywhere, accomplished nothing, and my life is a total wash?
The biggest trigger for this crisis was probably this guy who moved away to chase a better life... he reminded me that he's actually out there (in the places I've always wanted to be), while I'm still here... just the thought of being stuck here for the rest of my life is revolting.
And yeah, I am studying what I love... I'm lucky enough to have that much... 🙂 though it can get brutal at my university, which definitely drains my spirit and motivation sometimes. 😁

I've noticed that as the days go by, when I finally break down and cry, it lasts a little less time than the day before. 🙂 That's a small mercy. 🙂

Thanks for even bothering to read this nonsense and comment on it. 🙂

Yeah, that is exactly what happened to me too. You described it perfectly. 😘
It’s like this deep-seated dissatisfaction that stayed buried under the surface for years, and then suddenly it erupts. It creates its own set of problems—in my case, specifically, it's been causing insomnia. And there isn't exactly a quick fix for something like that.

This actually makes perfect sense when you look at everything else written here and the situation freia laid out in her opening post.
Mick Jagger is definitely a better option than just rotting in bed all day.
The truth is, both paths share one thing in common: aimlessness.

Of course, Mick Jagger won't solve the core issue by itself—especially if it's the wrong kind of movement (like constantly going out drinking with the crowd...) or if it’s just a way to pretend we're making progress. The real question is: where are we actually going? Are we moving forward, or just spinning our wheels?
When you actually accomplish something and feel useful, you get a sense of satisfaction. Or, at the very least, it eases the conscience a bit.
If we choose to use that momentum creatively, we start noticing the people entering our "space," becoming more aware of what's happening and the opportunities available.
Regarding the reshuffling of impressions in the brain, I was referring to how the brain processes information normally. We often (and women tend to be more prone to this) find ourselves constantly analyzing and obsessively looping the same data points. Sometimes, a single new piece of info drops and suddenly the whole puzzle clicks into place.
Here’s an example: I broke up with my boyfriend—and I truly believe we loved each other—but we were fighting constantly. I tried to bend to his will, but he refused to see my needs. I struggled so much, second-guessing if I made the right call by ending it... I felt so low that even getting out of bed felt impossible. (Sound familiar? Maybe to some of you...) And then, I head to a pool party at the local YMCA... and there I meet him... this incredible guy, etc., etc.

Yes, the key word is "decide." Between lying around listlessly and engaging in some unnecessary Mick Jagger—always pick the movement. It's much harder to do that than to simply stay "asleep" for too long.

Austin Hernandez11 said:This actually makes perfect sense when you look at everything else written here and the situation freia laid out in her opening post.
Mick Jagger is definitely a better option than just rotting in bed all day.
The truth is, both paths share one thing in common: aimlessness.

Of course, Mick Jagger won't solve the core issue by itself—especially if it's the wrong kind of movement (like constantly going out drinking with the crowd...) or if it’s just a way to pretend we're making progress. The real question is: where are we actually going? Are we moving forward, or just spinning our wheels?
When you actually accomplish something and feel useful, you get a sense of satisfaction. Or, at the very least, it eases the conscience a bit.
If we choose to use that momentum creatively, we start noticing the people entering our "space," becoming more aware of what's happening and the opportunities available.
Regarding the reshuffling of impressions in the brain, I was referring to how the brain processes information normally. We often (and women tend to be more prone to this) find ourselves constantly analyzing and obsessively looping the same data points. Sometimes, a single new piece of info drops and suddenly the whole puzzle clicks into place.
Here’s an example: I broke up with my boyfriend—and I truly believe we loved each other—but we were fighting constantly. I tried to bend to his will, but he refused to see my needs. I struggled so much, second-guessing if I made the right call by ending it... I felt so low that even getting out of bed felt impossible. (Sound familiar? Maybe to some of you...) And then, I head to a pool party at the local YMCA... and there I meet him... this incredible guy, etc., etc.

Yes, the key word is "decide." Between lying around listlessly and engaging in some unnecessary Mick Jagger—always pick the movement. It's much harder to do that than to simply stay "asleep" for too long.

I think movement is a good thing here, but it isn't the ultimate solution—that would be like putting a Band-Aid on a broken arm.
First of all, there's the matter of what kind of movement we're talking about. Any mindless activity—like, say, getting a manicure—is just superficial patching. We should be looking for goal-oriented movement that offers actual fulfillment... For instance, figuring out what you want from life and then moving in a direction that might eventually pull you out of this existential crisis.

The only question is what to do in the meantime, because this is a process that takes time.

Get a manicure, I guess. 🤣 Hahahaha, I've lost my train of thought entirely. 😂

Nailing your manicure and sipping tea three times a day isn't just about staying busy...
It’s a strategic way to avoid doing something else—specifically, actually studying.

Austin Hernandez11 said:Nailing your manicure and sipping tea three times a day isn't just about staying busy...
It’s a strategic way to avoid doing something else—specifically, actually studying.

Actually, even "something else" can be a distraction used to avoid thinking. It's a way to avoid being alone with one's own thoughts. A way to run away from oneself.😉

There's a really insightful article on this topic here:

Jesse Cruz3 ---> clear some stuff out of your inbox 😁