Feeling lost in life

I don’t even know where to start. To put it bluntly, my life is falling apart. I’ve squandered every single opportunity to build the life I actually wanted. Some of it is on me, some of it is on my parents, and honestly, I think part of it is on God too.
Unfortunately, we’re talking about things that can’t be undone, or at least they're incredibly hard to fix. I just don't have the energy to restart a chapter that should have been closed a long time ago. Whatever my dream was, those doors are basically slammed shut.
Now I’m left with the idea of settling—finding some compromise, doing something else... but the reality is, there isn't anything else I actually want to do.

I tried. I really did. I even went through the motions of getting a degree (which I’ll be finishing soon!), even though I couldn't care less about the subject. Every time I think I'm getting by, I spiral into another crisis or a bout of depression. It’s exhausting, especially when I realize that living a life where I'm miserable feels completely pointless. There are days when I spend hours crying because I can't see an exit from this hell. Other days, I manage to play the part of a happy person perfectly, which works since everyone who knows me thinks I'm being genuine—mostly because, on paper, my life looks great.
But inside, I’m screaming while I’m laughing on the outside. I don't have the strength to keep this act up. I've always been a fighter, but this is too much. I find myself spiraling into dark thoughts lately—thinking about "accidentally" veering off the road or falling from a rooftop... stuff like that.
I just don't see the point in a life where I'm crying every single day...

Alex Patel96 said:I don’t even know where to start. To put it bluntly, my life is falling apart. I’ve squandered every single opportunity to build the life I actually wanted. Some of it is on me, some of it is on my parents, and honestly, I think part of it is on God too.
Unfortunately, we’re talking about things that can’t be undone, or at least they're incredibly hard to fix. I just don't have the energy to restart a chapter that should have been closed a long time ago. Whatever my dream was, those doors are basically slammed shut.
Now I’m left with the idea of settling—finding some compromise, doing something else... but the reality is, there isn't anything else I actually want to do.

I tried. I really did. I even went through the motions of getting a degree (which I’ll be finishing soon!), even though I couldn't care less about the subject. Every time I think I'm getting by, I spiral into another crisis or a bout of depression. It’s exhausting, especially when I realize that living a life where I'm miserable feels completely pointless. There are days when I spend hours crying because I can't see an exit from this hell. Other days, I manage to play the part of a happy person perfectly, which works since everyone who knows me thinks I'm being genuine—mostly because, on paper, my life looks great.
But inside, I’m screaming while I’m laughing on the outside. I don't have the strength to keep this act up. I've always been a fighter, but this is too much. I find myself spiraling into dark thoughts lately—thinking about "accidentally" veering off the road or falling from a rooftop... stuff like that.
I just don't see the point in a life where I'm crying every single day...

Man, how old are you?

Well, let's see, if you're looking for a way out, there are plenty of paths you could take. First off, you could try getting high—maybe some psychedelics, since they really change your perspective. You might find yourself having deep conversations with Jesus Christ while the whole world suddenly bursts into vivid color. Or, you could try doing something totally radical, something you’ve always felt was completely out of your reach. For instance, you could pack up and move to a different city entirely. Honestly, though, maybe just start by taking some antidepressants, getting a dog to keep you company, and making sure you get as much sunshine as possible each day.☕

Gary Perez9 said:Well, let's see, if you're looking for a way out, there are plenty of paths you could take. First off, you could try getting high—maybe some psychedelics, since they really change your perspective. You might find yourself having deep conversations with Jesus Christ while the whole world suddenly bursts into vivid color. Or, you could try doing something totally radical, something you’ve always felt was completely out of your reach. For instance, you could pack up and move to a different city entirely. Honestly, though, maybe just start by taking some antidepressants, getting a dog to keep you company, and making sure you get as much sunshine as possible each day.☕

Yeah, sure. It’s pretty obvious all that advice worked wonders for you, isn't it? 😁😁

Man, maybe just stop feeling sorry for yourself for a second.
Instead of constantly cycling between crying and laughing about it, just sit down and actually figure out what you want from life.
If you really can't pull yourself together, then go find a professional.
You aren't gonna find any real help on a random internet forum like this. >quoting Gary Perez9's post.
Everyone goes through rough patches sometimes, but I doubt you’re actually all alone in this.
But seriously, professional help is professional help. Don't be ashamed of it; just get your life together.

gentleraven22 said:Yeah, sure. It’s pretty obvious all that advice worked wonders for you, isn't it? 😁😁

Man, maybe just stop feeling sorry for yourself for a second.
Instead of constantly cycling between crying and laughing about it, just sit down and actually figure out what you want from life.
If you really can't pull yourself together, then go find a professional.
You aren't gonna find any real help on a random internet forum like this. >quoting Gary Perez9's post.
Everyone goes through rough patches sometimes, but I doubt you’re actually all alone in this.
But seriously, professional help is professional help. Don't be ashamed of it; just get your life together.

Man, what the hell are you even trying to say?😕🤷

Why wouldn't you just change the things that aren't working for you? Who are you trying to please here? Your parents? Were you just trying to impress someone by picking a major you actually hate? Look, don't work against yourself. That sense of hopelessness and depression usually kicks in when we ignore our own gut feelings. Then, when things don't go perfectly, the disappointment hits even harder. You’re a great person. You have value. Start choosing yourself. And don't think it's too late—it's never too late. We're all learning as we go, and as long as you're breathing, you have the chance to pivot and work on yourself. I really want to encourage you: tomorrow is a fresh start. If you need to see a doctor, do it. I've been there myself, sought help, went through therapy, and honestly, it made all the difference. Just don't give up. The fact that you're almost done with a degree you never wanted in the first place proves how much grit you actually have. You can move forward and fix what isn't working. These feelings you're having? It's just a massive buildup of frustration finally coming to the surface. Think about it... and don't quit.

redpilot37 said:Why wouldn't you just change the things that aren't working for you? Who are you trying to please here? Your parents? Were you just trying to impress someone by picking a major you actually hate? Look, don't work against yourself. That sense of hopelessness and depression usually kicks in when we ignore our own gut feelings. Then, when things don't go perfectly, the disappointment hits even harder. You’re a great person. You have value. Start choosing yourself. And don't think it's too late—it's never too late. We're all learning as we go, and as long as you're breathing, you have the chance to pivot and work on yourself. I really want to encourage you: tomorrow is a fresh start. If you need to see a doctor, do it. I've been there myself, sought help, went through therapy, and honestly, it made all the difference. Just don't give up. The fact that you're almost done with a degree you never wanted in the first place proves how much grit you actually have. You can move forward and fix what isn't working. These feelings you're having? It's just a massive buildup of frustration finally coming to the surface. Think about it... and don't quit.

redpilot37, thanks for showing up. I was seriously dying of boredom over here. Haven't slept a wink and this whole forum is a ghost town. GOD, THIS INSOMNIA IS KILLING ME.

rustyharbor18 said:redpilot37, thanks for showing up. I was seriously dying of boredom over here. Haven't slept a wink and this whole forum is a ghost town. GOD, THIS INSOMNIA IS KILLING ME.

Some older lady once told me that getting some fresh air does wonders for your mental state. Especially the sun...

redpilot37 said:Some older lady once told me that getting some fresh air does wonders for your mental state. Especially the sun...

Man, she wasn't kidding. It's facts. Most people feel way more dialed in when the sun is out versus when the weather is total garbage.

rustyharbor18 said:Man, she wasn't kidding. It's facts. Most people feel way more dialed in when the sun is out versus when the weather is total garbage.

When the forum is dead, just go outside. Take a walk to the corner store or something. You'll feel better.

redpilot37 said:When the forum is dead, just go outside. Take a walk to the corner store or something. You'll feel better.

It’s midnight, man. Besides, I was already out on the balcony with my laptop, just catching up on stuff from other boards.🙂

rustyharbor18 said:It’s midnight, man. Besides, I was already out on the balcony with my laptop, just catching up on stuff from other boards.🙂

Well, you aren't doing too bad yourself.😁 I think you can finally catch some light sleep now if you've been up since midnight.☕

redpilot37 said:Well, you aren't doing too bad yourself.😁 I think you can finally catch some light sleep now if you've been up since midnight.☕

I’ve been running on fumes since 6:30 yesterday morning and I am absolutely wired. It’s like my brain refuses to shut off. I even tried taking some Melatonin and just laying there, praying for sleep, but nothing. Zero. Zilch. A couple of weeks back, I hit a wall where I didn't sleep for four straight days. By the fifth day, my brain basically just short-circuited and forced me into a coma—it felt like a massive mental adrenaline shot just dumped into my system. Honestly, I’m terrified of that happening again, but right now? I'm just stuck wide awake.🙂🙂🙂

Honestly, it looks like you’ve completely lost your way spiritually. You seriously need to start praying to God, and hey, there are plenty of those spiritual revival sessions by Zlatko Sudac on YouTube if you need some guidance... maybe one of those will actually bring you back to life, and then once you're feeling human again, you can slowly get back to doing whatever it is that actually makes you happy. Once you finally realize just how beautiful this life can be—even after all the crappy moments—then you'll actually feel satisfied. But seriously, you just have to get back on the tracks because right now, your train has completely derailed from them.

goldeneagle8 said:Honestly, it looks like you’ve completely lost your way spiritually. You seriously need to start praying to God, and hey, there are plenty of those spiritual revival sessions by Zlatko Sudac on YouTube if you need some guidance... maybe one of those will actually bring you back to life, and then once you're feeling human again, you can slowly get back to doing whatever it is that actually makes you happy. Once you finally realize just how beautiful this life can be—even after all the crappy moments—then you'll actually feel satisfied. But seriously, you just have to get back on the tracks because right now, your train has completely derailed from them.

Looks like Nick is totally on board with what you're saying.😂

goldeneagle8 said:Honestly, it looks like you’ve completely lost your way spiritually. You seriously need to start praying to God, and hey, there are plenty of those spiritual revival sessions by Zlatko Sudac on YouTube if you need some guidance... maybe one of those will actually bring you back to life, and then once you're feeling human again, you can slowly get back to doing whatever it is that actually makes you happy. Once you finally realize just how beautiful this life can be—even after all the crappy moments—then you'll actually feel satisfied. But seriously, you just have to get back on the tracks because right now, your train has completely derailed from them.

I have no intention of being provocative; I am merely interested in hearing your perspective.
Why should someone who finds no meaning in existence, someone for whom nothing seems to go right despite not being the cause of their own misfortune, be expected to turn to God? Is it purely because that was God's design?

Rebecca Bennett41 said:I have no intention of being provocative; I am merely interested in hearing your perspective.
Why should someone who finds no meaning in existence, someone for whom nothing seems to go right despite not being the cause of their own misfortune, be expected to turn to God? Is it purely because that was God's design?

Are you actually sane? Seriously, you need to push people's buttons more often if this is what we're dealing with.🙂🙂🙂🙂

Hehe...
Look, if you start from the premise that there exists a God—specifically the Christian version, blah blah blah—and claim He’s the one who designed me, then by extension, He’s the one who engineered all my problems. If that’s the case, why on earth would anyone seek solace in faith?

hehe...
Look, if you start from the premise that God exists—and let's say we're talking the whole Christian thing, blah blah—and believe He actually created me, then He’s the one who cooked up all my problems too. So why on earth would I look to faith for comfort?👍👍👍👍

It’s pretty obvious that you guys have completely lost your way spiritually, and honestly, once someone hits that level of moral decay, they aren't even human anymore... But hey, you all can just keep doing whatever you want, who am I to tell you how to live your lives anyway? Good luck with that...