Final Exam

www.okcupid.com/death

An interesting little assessment. My results came back like this:

According to our research, you'll be dead by
September 2061
at age 74
- Medical diagnosis - heart attack

Our data shows you’re checking out by
June 2068
when you hit 82
- medical diagnosis -
cancer

So, based on what we've dug up, looks like you're checking out by

April 2057
around when you hit 84

- medical diagnosis -

heart attack

Chuck Norris....

July 2049, at age 86
Medical diagnosis: old age

Best, 🙂

I’m looking at an 81-year lifespan. Ouch... wonder who will be there to see me through. 🙄
January 2068
SO WHY DO WE GO?
56% heart attack
24% car crash
13% loneliness ------ 😢
5% pulmonary edema
2% injuries

I’m not showing up to your funeral. 😛
What from?

Edward Green said:Based on the data we've gathered, your expiration date is
June 2068
at age 82.
- medical diagnosis -
cancer

Looks like you'll be checking out about six months after I do. 👋

Edward Green said:I’m not showing up to your funeral. 😛
From what?

Heart failure or a car wreck. Honestly, I’d prefer the wreck. You know how it goes... you only die once. I want to feel the full weight of it.

Based on what our data suggests, your expiration date is set for

April 2060
at the ripe old age of 77

- medical diagnosis -

heart attack

THE BREAKDOWN OF YOUR DEMISE:
56% heart attack
24% car accident
13% overdose
5% pulmonary edema
2% trauma

Haha... if I actually manage to coast all the way to 77, I guess I'll just have to roll the dice and hope a massive heart attack finds me first, lol

Those are nothing but filthy lies. I refuse to go out like that.

Pay attention to these last three questions

Gun control and public health issues
Medical diagnosis
Gun control and public health issues

🤣

AVERAGE LIFE EXPECTANCY: 84.0 years

WHAT KILLS US?
56% heart disease
24% auto accidents
13% drug overdoses
5% respiratory failure
2% physical trauma

Seems reasonable enough to me.

That’s number 83 on the list of medical diagnoses... *sigh*...

Based on what we've dug up, you're likely checking out by

April 2051
around age 72

- Medical diagnosis -

heart attack

SO, WHAT KILLS YOU?
56% heart attack
24% ulcers/digestive issues
13% overdose
5% pulmonary edema
2% trauma

Everyone got their results.🙄

Based on our latest data projections, you’re looking at an expiration date around August 2070, hitting age 86.
Medical diagnosis.

SO, WHAT ACTUALLY KILLS YOU?
56% cancer 😢
24% car accident 😲
13% loneliness 😲
5% pulmonary edema—honestly, that one scares the hell out of me. 😲
2% trauma/wounds

It is quite obvious from these figures, isn't it? You possess significantly more health and vitality than the typical American woman. 😁

SO, WHAT’S ACTUALLY KILLING US?
56% heart attacks
24% stomach ulcers and digestive issues
13% social isolation
5% pulmonary edema
2% physical trauma

of course...

I assume this "YOU" refers to the entire population as a statistical data point...

Based on the data we’ve gathered, your life expectancy ends around
September 2062
when you hit 81 years old.
- Medical diagnosis -
heart attack

It’s pretty obvious from the numbers that you're actually outperforming the average woman in terms of sheer health and stamina.

Ugh... there is absolutely no way in hell I'm dying from a heart attack... 🙄 🙄

amberorca192 said:WHY DO PEOPLE DIE?
56% heart attack
24% ulcers/digestive issues
13% overdose
5% respiratory failure
2% trauma/wounds

Everyone got these stats.🙄

They aren't.

I basically picked my answers so I could check out as early as possible, and I managed to score a death at 30 from cancer. Maybe someone out there can actually beat my record.