Hearing loss

I hope I haven't wandered into the wrong subforum with these thoughts.

I’ve been dealing with hearing issues for about a decade now. It all started after one seemingly minor...
The naive illness led to some complications and nerve damage. So, yeah... hearing is gone.
Sixty-five percent damage on the left, sixty-seven percent on the right. Just my luck.
I wear hearing aids, but honestly, they just give me headaches sometimes, so I...
I haven't been around much lately. I only pop in for the occasional symposium or group meeting.

So, during the diagnosis, they told me that eventually, it’ll be possible.
They used to think that once you start losing your hearing, it just fades away gradually. Maybe they were wrong.
Later years. They didn't bother to specify.

I’m 27 now, turning 28 soon. To be honest, nobody has ever really given me a nudge to actually learn anything.
Sign language. I spent the last ten years focused on other things, clearly.
I was actually curious about those. Let's just say I had the good fortune of seeing every single one of those plans actually pan out.

I have to admit, it’s quite flattering that some heavy hitters in my business circles actually trust me. It’s a nice ego boost, sure, but lately, I’ve been feeling like my hearing is starting to fail me. Or maybe it’s just my accent. During recent meetings, I get the distinct impression I’m leaving people a bit muddled—even when talking to fellow Americans or folks who aren't even native speakers. Even when I'm back home, my own countrymen often assume I’m some foreigner trying his best to master the local dialect. It’s a bit humbling, really.

Honestly, I don't think any of this is actually a big deal.
I’m starting to feel a hint of frustration about this... and because of everything else.
I get these feelings sometimes—like I’m about to burst right out of my own skin.

I’m still staying in relationships, but I honestly think my past partners were just as much to blame.
They definitely knew how to push my buttons sometimes.
I can't tell if that was the reason we drifted apart, but... even if it was, so be it.
I can see where they're coming from.

What am I even doing, typing all this out?
I'm wondering if anyone here knows someone—or maybe one of you forum regulars actually has—
Anyone have experience with this? I’d love to hear what you all think.

I’d also love to hear what everyone else thinks about one hypothetical scenario: how on earth would they manage a relationship with someone they can't even hear?

Hey there... I’ve been dealing with hearing loss since birth, too. Right now, one ear sits at 70 dB and the other at 65 dB, which is a huge jump from when I was first diagnosed. It affects how I talk, too—I have this specific way of speaking because certain letters, like 'c' and 'r,' are a struggle for me. Still, I try my best to blend in. I adapt as much as I can, and I'm pretty good at lip-reading, so conversations usually flow okay. But I know deep down that no amount of help can truly replace natural hearing. To be honest, I’m not happy with the hearing aids I’m using at the moment. I can hear the sounds, but I just can't make sense of them. I've noticed my boyfriend doesn't really see it as a big deal, mostly because he doesn't quite understand what it's like. I had to sit him down and explain everything, and man, there have been so many times I wished I had any other kind of struggle instead of this. This hearing loss has given me so many insecurities.

^Man, welcome to the club... just a bunch of complexes, people not getting it, and problems being swept under the rug... honestly, we’re old enough now that we really should stop acting so childishly about all this. 😁 It feels like we should all just get together in one room somewhere and actually swap stories.

So, was there some specific moment or situation that felt particularly awkward for you guys because of your hearing?

Peter Cooper5 said:^Man, welcome to the club... just a bunch of complexes, people not getting it, and problems being swept under the rug... honestly, we’re old enough now that we really should stop acting so childishly about all this. 😁 It feels like we should all just get together in one room somewhere and actually swap stories.

So, was there some specific moment or situation that felt particularly awkward for you guys because of your hearing?

Peter Cooper5, shoot me a DM if you ever need to vent about this stuff. I have a million stories myself 😉 ...I completely agree, we really should find a way to connect. It makes me feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one... for a while, I actually thought I was alone, mostly because I didn't know anyone else dealing with this who wasn't, like, over 75.🙄

^^ Ugh, seriously, how many times do I have to tell people I’m not comfortable talking about this? I honestly feel like I’m the only person under sixty out there who relies on a hearing aid. I try so hard to just act like everything is totally normal, you know? But it’s just exhausting when I have to constantly pester people to repeat themselves for the hundredth time, only to have them start making those annoying jokes about me being hard of hearing once I explain why... ugh

Peter Cooper5 said:^^ Ugh, seriously, how many times do I have to tell people I’m not comfortable talking about this? I honestly feel like I’m the only person under sixty out there who relies on a hearing aid. I try so hard to just act like everything is totally normal, you know? But it’s just exhausting when I have to constantly pester people to repeat themselves for the hundredth time, only to have them start making those annoying jokes about me being hard of hearing once I explain why... ugh

I get it. 😢 Does that constant "is it your hearing aid?" question bother you too? Because it drives me absolutely crazy. Sometimes I just want to rip the thing out of my ear and toss it. It especially sucks when I can't just listen to music on my phone while riding the bus, or give someone a hug without worrying the device might whistle. I actually avoid hugging people sometimes because of that... how much do you usually have to turn things up?

Heh, those awkward moments... For me, the absolute worst part is when someone says something and I just don't catch it—or worse, I can't quite make out what they're saying. I’ll ask them to repeat themselves, only to realize I still didn't get it... so I just end up making this ridiculous face, nodding along with a half-hearted "yeah, yeah," 🙂

I don't know... It hasn't actually been that traumatic for me, especially since I’ve never had one of those uncomfortable encounters where I have to explain that my hearing is a bit damaged. People just seem to take it in stride—it's treated as something... totally normal.
In fact, I almost feel a bit privileged in a way, because people tend to speak more clearly and directly to me. 🤣

Daniel Moore90 said:Heh, those awkward moments... For me, the absolute worst part is when someone says something and I just don't catch it—or worse, I can't quite make out what they're saying. I’ll ask them to repeat themselves, only to realize I still didn't get it... so I just end up making this ridiculous face, nodding along with a half-hearted "yeah, yeah," 🙂

I don't know... It hasn't actually been that traumatic for me, especially since I’ve never had one of those uncomfortable encounters where I have to explain that my hearing is a bit damaged. People just seem to take it in stride—it's treated as something... totally normal.
In fact, I almost feel a bit privileged in a way, because people tend to speak more clearly and directly to me. 🤣

That's exactly what's weighing on me... I don't want to stand out because of this. I just want to function normally... I don't want to be dependent on devices, but I am, because without them, it feels like I can barely hear anything at all.

Andrew Garcia2 said:That's exactly what's weighing on me... I don't want to stand out because of this. I just want to function normally... I don't want to be dependent on devices, but I am, because without them, it feels like I can barely hear anything at all.

I don't know, I've never really struggled with having to point out—well, as you put it, the "handicap"—to people. I'll explain things to the people I care about so they understand what's going on, and sure, there are those awkward moments every once in a while, but I usually just laugh it off. After all, it's one of the smaller hurdles to clear—it would be a much heavier lift if I were blind, or dealing with a physical disability, or... well, all of that combined.😁

Honestly, I'm fully aware that I can't operate quite like everyone else, and I know things will likely only get more difficult as time goes on. I've made my peace with that. It hasn't even been an issue when it comes to dating... I tend to just be upfront from the jump about how things stand—that my hearing isn't great and I might need someone to repeat themselves a few times. I suppose I'm charming enough that it ends up being a secondary detail.🥳

^^ haha, yeah, I do the same thing—just pretend I didn't hear them or something (back before I started meeting guys). That would honestly just become an afterthought.

Anyway, let me try to break down everyone's replies here and see how they stack up against my own experience.😁

So, you can't listen to music on an MP3 player? Thank God I figured that out. I use one of those tiny little hearing aids that sits right in the ear canal. Though, honestly, the canal has widened over time so it feels like it's constantly "slipping" out, even if it never actually falls all the way out... it drives me crazy. Anyway, I still have my MP3 player, but I use custom clip-on earphones instead:



And regarding that high-pitched whistling... I had that with my last device. Every time I laughed or stretched my face or something, it would start squealing. It was irritatingly painful. This one is digital (I think, anyway) and doesn't whistle like that, so there's no real fear of whistling when I'm swallowing or whatever, 😁 but man, it really bugs me when the wind blows; those sounds give me a massive headache.

And I have no clue what my actual hearing threshold is.😁

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Then, there were times when someone would repeat a sentence for the third time, and by then, I felt like I should have already heard or understood what they said, so I'd just give up and say "yeah, yeah..." But the thing is, it's so awkward because I'm nodding along like I get everything, when really I'm being asked a question... To avoid looking stupid, this happened to me just the other day.🤦 People just stare at you waiting for an answer while I'm just sitting there smiling and saying "yeah, yeah."😁 hahaha

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Of course, I don't want to be dependent on devices or stand out, either. Ugh, gross! I think if we were all together, the sheer chaos and misunderstanding would be so bad we'd all be falling off our chairs laughing.🤣

How old are you guys?

Peter Cooper5 said:^^ haha, yeah, I do the same thing—just pretend I didn't hear them or something (back before I started meeting guys). That would honestly just become an afterthought.

Anyway, let me try to break down everyone's replies here and see how they stack up against my own experience.😁

So, you can't listen to music on an MP3 player? Thank God I figured that out. I use one of those tiny little hearing aids that sits right in the ear canal. Though, honestly, the canal has widened over time so it feels like it's constantly "slipping" out, even if it never actually falls all the way out... it drives me crazy. Anyway, I still have my MP3 player, but I use custom clip-on earphones instead:



And regarding that high-pitched whistling... I had that with my last device. Every time I laughed or stretched my face or something, it would start squealing. It was irritatingly painful. This one is digital (I think, anyway) and doesn't whistle like that, so there's no real fear of whistling when I'm swallowing or whatever, 😁 but man, it really bugs me when the wind blows; those sounds give me a massive headache.

And I have no clue what my actual hearing threshold is.😁

---

Then, there were times when someone would repeat a sentence for the third time, and by then, I felt like I should have already heard or understood what they said, so I'd just give up and say "yeah, yeah..." But the thing is, it's so awkward because I'm nodding along like I get everything, when really I'm being asked a question... To avoid looking stupid, this happened to me just the other day.🤦 People just stare at you waiting for an answer while I'm just sitting there smiling and saying "yeah, yeah."😁 hahaha

---

Of course, I don't want to be dependent on devices or stand out, either. Ugh, gross! I think if we were all together, the sheer chaos and misunderstanding would be so bad we'd all be falling off our chairs laughing.🤣

How old are you guys?

Behind-the-ear, right? I have too small an ear concha for that, so that's not an option for me. 😠 ...and yeah, that thing with questions happens to me too. Back then, I would have wanted the ground to swallow me up from the embarrassment... and the wind thing is the worst. I almost feel self-conscious about wearing them, so I leave my hair down, but no—when the wind picks up, not only can you see the devices, but they whistle too. It's awful... Can you function without hearing aids? I'd honestly love for us all to meet up. Even if nothing else comes of it, it would be interesting—laughing our heads off and being unable to speak the next day. 🤣

Daniel Moore90 said:I don't know, I've never really struggled with having to point out—well, as you put it, the "handicap"—to people. I'll explain things to the people I care about so they understand what's going on, and sure, there are those awkward moments every once in a while, but I usually just laugh it off. After all, it's one of the smaller hurdles to clear—it would be a much heavier lift if I were blind, or dealing with a physical disability, or... well, all of that combined.😁

Honestly, I'm fully aware that I can't operate quite like everyone else, and I know things will likely only get more difficult as time goes on. I've made my peace with that. It hasn't even been an issue when it comes to dating... I tend to just be upfront from the jump about how things stand—that my hearing isn't great and I might need someone to repeat themselves a few times. I suppose I'm charming enough that it ends up being a secondary detail.🥳

Ugh, I remember telling my boyfriend. It was hard, and I felt so bad doing it, like I was looking at him with this pathetic, pitying expression like some kind of freak 😂 ...but I'm still young, and I have my whole life ahead of me. Still, knowing how dependent I am on this stuff... it just gets me down. Like, seeing other girls go hit the beach and swim while I can't because I'm wearing my hearing aids... or seeing women just throw their hair up on a bad hair day without a second thought, while I can't even do that because it would show the devices. Or when I can't even lean on him because my equipment starts beeping... it just ruins my mood instantly.

Yeah, okay, my hair is thick and messy too, and I hardly ever bother tying it up—unless, you know, I'm actually hanging out with people who give a damn about how I look. But since I’ve gone and signed up for these aerobics classes, I have to pull it back... and then there's everyone just standing there, and ugh, that gross sweat. It's honestly the worst 😁

Look, I'm from Miami. And you still haven't told me how old you are or where you're actually from, if you don't mind me asking

Did we totally kill this thread? 😁

Andrew Garcia2 said:Ugh, I remember telling my boyfriend. It was hard, and I felt so bad doing it, like I was looking at him with this pathetic, pitying expression like some kind of freak 😂 ...but I'm still young, and I have my whole life ahead of me. Still, knowing how dependent I am on this stuff... it just gets me down. Like, seeing other girls go hit the beach and swim while I can't because I'm wearing my hearing aids... or seeing women just throw their hair up on a bad hair day without a second thought, while I can't even do that because it would show the devices. Or when I can't even lean on him because my equipment starts beeping... it just ruins my mood instantly.

Man, tell me about it. Honestly, summer is probably the worst time of year for me because of all this stuff. You want to just bundle up your hair, head down to the coast with your friends, and actually live a little... but nope. Everyone else is just out there laughing and being carefree, and I'm just sitting here on the sidelines. It's depressing, really. Just feels totally isolating.

Peter Cooper5 said:Man, tell me about it. Honestly, summer is probably the worst time of year for me because of all this stuff. You want to just bundle up your hair, head down to the coast with your friends, and actually live a little... but nope. Everyone else is just out there laughing and being carefree, and I'm just sitting here on the sidelines. It's depressing, really. Just feels totally isolating.

I get it, 😢 which is why during the summer I just end up stuck at home, glued to my computer... it's pretty bad. Plus, my hair is thick and straw-like, so I just sweat even more... yeah, I'm originally from a small suburb outside of Phoenix, though I'm in Los Angeles way more often since that's where I go to high school. 🙂

Hey everyone, reaching out because I know I can't be the only one dealing with this nightmare. It all started when I was 14—out of nowhere, I lost hearing in my right ear. After running every test under the sun, the doctor basically just told me, "Watch out for your other ear." Fast forward two years, and the left side went quiet too. Luckily, I can still plug into the world using a hearing aid, but man, it’s a struggle. My biggest headache is this constant hearing fluctuation. It makes talking to people such a chore. Here’s the deal: my device has a low setting and a high setting. On days when my hearing feels "good," the low setting is way too loud, and on those "bad" days, the high setting isn't nearly enough. And don't even get me started on the tinnitus—the ringing in my ears constantly shifts through at least five different tones. It honestly feels like 🙂🙂. I’ve mostly gotten used to the ringing by now, but the communication part is killing me. Sometimes I have to ask someone to repeat themselves three times before I finally catch what they meant. I really don't think I'm alone in dealing with these crazy fluctuations. Please, if anyone has gone through something similar, reach out! 🙂🙂🙂