HELP!!! I'm spiraling.

As you can probably tell from my title, I have developed quite an obsession, specifically regarding food and my body weight.

I had been following a strict diet and managed to shed some extra pounds, but then, in typical fashion, I began indulging in everything I had previously denied myself—you know how that cycle goes, 😁—and predictably, all those lost pounds came right back. While I was regaining the weight (which essentially meant eating everything I had avoided for a while), I felt this overwhelming sense of guilt and simply wasn't happy, even though most people would likely be celebrating their discipline or feeling relieved to finally eat normally
.
Now that the weight is back, I have found myself determined to drop it again and strictly adhere to a set of rules just so I don't end up in this exact same position. Everything seemed perfectly fine while I was losing the weight; I actually felt wonderful because I had this sensation of being completely in control, which felt great, yet on the flip side, I was incredibly anxious, constantly counting down the days until the diet ended so I could eat whatever I wanted, even though I knew deep down that doing so would just restart the whole cycle🙄. As you can see, I am someone who tends toward extreme contrasts😁. To get back to the main point, everything was going smoothly until the weight loss phase concluded, and now the same pattern is repeating itself. I am genuinely afraid of eating—not food in general, mind you, but specifically the things I crave, like cookies, pastries, and sweets—because I know it will lead to weight gain, and that is what my obsession tells me. I feel this fear, yet I eat anyway, and afterward, I just feel terrible, sad, nervous, and generally miserable. I think about it the entire time; I am constantly checking myself in the mirror, and I am fully aware that I am gaining weight because of these eating bouts, since once I start, I find it impossible to stop, even when I know I am consuming far more than my body requires every single day. It holds me back from everything that normal people enjoy, such as spending quality time with friends, my boyfriend, or my family... I am thinking about it the WHOLE time. I am becoming increasingly aware of my issue, a problem that is stalling my life and making me unhappy. I know that I am not acting normally, and it feels embarrassing to admit that to anyone, but I simply cannot purge these thoughts from my head. I often catch myself thinking things like, "Lucky them, they can eat whatever they want," or "They surely don't spend their whole day obsessing over this, they must be so much happier because of it," and so on.

I have come to the conclusion that there is something fundamentally wrong with my psyche and the way I process things. I have a problem.

Since this is slowly robbing me of the best parts of my life😢, I am wondering how I might be able to help myself. Are there any psychological exercises, books, or pieces of advice you could offer? Or perhaps you could share how you might be able to assist me. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of struggle? Or has anyone moved past it? (If so, how did you manage to help yourselves🙂?) Thank you in advance, because I am truly starting to feel desperate😢

I believe you need some peace of mind. It seems like you’re dealing with more than just one issue—perhaps a collection of suppressed stressors—and this binge eating is merely a symptom of that internal chaos. Take a moment to reflect on this and try to find some tranquility.

Hmmmm... you know... that is actually quite an interesting thought to chew on... I was just sitting here pondering that very thing myself...

I honestly feel like sex is the ultimate remedy: the more you have it, the more satisfied you feel, which probably helps with nerves and keeps you from stress-eating just to cope.

Cure your obsession with a different kind of obsession....

Like woodworking, making chainmail, building Lego sets, or getting lost in PC/PlayStation/Xbox games... Just whenever those cravings hit, pivot to a new fixation!!!

Here’s a perfect one for anyone:
1. Download Google Chrome
2. Install this extension for Google Chrome
3. Sign up here
4. Pick your favorite categories
5. And just hit stumble... it’s an incredible rabbit hole... Seriously addictive.

There's even a version for Internet Explorer...

wiredscout4 said:Cure your obsession with a different kind of obsession....

Like woodworking, making chainmail, building Lego sets, or getting lost in PC/PlayStation/Xbox games... Just whenever those cravings hit, pivot to a new fixation!!!

Here’s a perfect one for anyone:
1. Download Google Chrome
2. Install this extension for Google Chrome
3. Sign up here
4. Pick your favorite categories
5. And just hit stumble... it’s an incredible rabbit hole... Seriously addictive.

There's even a version for Internet Explorer...

The worst thing is getting hooked on the computer or the web—so don't let it ruin you...

vividsurfer18 said:The worst thing is getting hooked on the computer or the web—so don't let it ruin you...

Honestly, that’s still better than an eating disorder.
Giving up gaming and the internet is way easier than giving up food...

What about those "solutions" like the balloon thing (the one Jack was talking about)?

Hmm... I might have an idea, though it probably won't be easy given how utterly exhausted you are. Maybe you’re dealing with metabolic issues, just like me (if I accidentally go over 1,000 calories, everything just turns straight to fat, and even heavy workouts barely move the needle), but maybe try what didn't work for me, which a specialist actually suggested. Start paying attention to people, I guess. Find a woman you admire—on a TV show, online, wherever—and once you drop a pound, try to mimic her daily routine. Eat exactly what she eats (obviously pick someone with a decent build) and exercise when she does, and watch the clock. It might sound crazy, but since everyone is different yet fundamentally similar, there's a reason people say things like "don't eat after 7 PM" and stuff like that. Though, I suppose that isn't really your core issue.

Your actual problem is obsession. I spent months going to a specialist for free ( ☕ ) sessions, so I picked up a few things along the way. Obsession can be overcome, and you really need to avoid anything that triggers it. If you were strong enough to lose weight twice before, and did it quite successfully, then you should be capable of resisting this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... I guess.

Face food head-on. Eat, but definitely don't overdo it. Everyone likes food. Everyone enjoys it. Some more, some less. But certain feelings—especially those extreme physiological urges that have spiraled into an obsession—need to be dealt with. You don't need medication or friends for that; you just need to find strength within yourself. If all else fails, just limit your access to food. Maybe set aside a little cash or something.

And yeah.
Don't eat bread.

Eat a snack bar.

Paul Sullivan said:Hmm... I might have an idea, though it probably won't be easy given how utterly exhausted you are. Maybe you’re dealing with metabolic issues, just like me (if I accidentally go over 1,000 calories, everything just turns straight to fat, and even heavy workouts barely move the needle), but maybe try what didn't work for me, which a specialist actually suggested. Start paying attention to people, I guess. Find a woman you admire—on a TV show, online, wherever—and once you drop a pound, try to mimic her daily routine. Eat exactly what she eats (obviously pick someone with a decent build) and exercise when she does, and watch the clock. It might sound crazy, but since everyone is different yet fundamentally similar, there's a reason people say things like "don't eat after 7 PM" and stuff like that. Though, I suppose that isn't really your core issue.

Your actual problem is obsession. I spent months going to a specialist for free ( ☕ ) sessions, so I picked up a few things along the way. Obsession can be overcome, and you really need to avoid anything that triggers it. If you were strong enough to lose weight twice before, and did it quite successfully, then you should be capable of resisting this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... I guess.

Face food head-on. Eat, but definitely don't overdo it. Everyone likes food. Everyone enjoys it. Some more, some less. But certain feelings—especially those extreme physiological urges that have spiraled into an obsession—need to be dealt with. You don't need medication or friends for that; you just need to find strength within yourself. If all else fails, just limit your access to food. Maybe set aside a little cash or something.

And yeah.
Don't eat bread.

Eat a snack bar.

First off, thanks. 😁
Let's move on to the answers.

1. I don't think I have a metabolism problem (I know quite a bit about it, I'm well-informed, and I'm certain a doctor would recognize it; it isn't exactly EASY for me to gain weight—not that I'd gain it instantly, but still faster than most lucky people) 😠

2. Could you explain that part about mirroring someone a bit more? (You confused me quite a bit 😕)—won't that just turn into a whole new obsession with copying her and being OBSESSED WITH IT???

3. I'm glad to hear that obsession is curable, and I had actually thought to myself that I need to avoid things that remind me of it— 🙄 —but I know it is going to be SO HARD

4. I know I need to eat rather than avoid food (because avoiding it would only make things worse and make me think about food even more, leading to greater obsession 😲), but it's so hard to control myself—it's either I eat (and I REALLY eat) or I don't eat at all

5. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with you on one thing 😁—I really think my friends can offer me a lot of support, so I'll give it a try

6. Not eating bread? Okay. But pastries (like rolls, croissants, danishes, strudels—basically anything from a bakery) are one of my biggest addictions—and that's also bread—so I honestly don't know how I'll pull that off

7. I do eat SnackWells, don't worry, BUT I do eat bread too 😁

Well, there you have it, so please feel free to weigh in with whatever thoughts or answers you can muster, and I really do appreciate the help in advance 😉

👋

Since you seem a bit younger than I am, I’ll take the liberty of offering a little unsolicited advice...
It sounded like you mentioned having a boyfriend, so my suggestion is to simply focus on spending quality time with him...try to push those thoughts about food or children to the back of your mind. If he is a good man, please don't waste your energy worrying about your appearance; I am certain he finds you wonderful exactly as you are right now. The more you fixate on eating, the more that obsession grows, and it can start to bleed into your social life too...it follows you everywhere. If you find that you can't shake it, there might be an underlying issue with your Psyche. There is absolutely no shame in 😉consulting a psychiatrist. In my own experience, it was discovered that my binge eating was rooted in my mental health. Sometimes, if the right medication works well, the compulsion to eat just fades away. All paths are worth exploring, and honestly, nothing is as dire as it feels in the moment—the world is a much kinder place when we accept people whether they are a little fuller or a little thinner.

velvetpuma69 said:Since you seem a bit younger than I am, I’ll take the liberty of offering a little unsolicited advice...
It sounded like you mentioned having a boyfriend, so my suggestion is to simply focus on spending quality time with him...try to push those thoughts about food or children to the back of your mind. If he is a good man, please don't waste your energy worrying about your appearance; I am certain he finds you wonderful exactly as you are right now. The more you fixate on eating, the more that obsession grows, and it can start to bleed into your social life too...it follows you everywhere. If you find that you can't shake it, there might be an underlying issue with your Psyche. There is absolutely no shame in 😉consulting a psychiatrist. In my own experience, it was discovered that my binge eating was rooted in my mental health. Sometimes, if the right medication works well, the compulsion to eat just fades away. All paths are worth exploring, and honestly, nothing is as dire as it feels in the moment—the world is a much kinder place when we accept people whether they are a little fuller or a little thinner.

😁well, here I am

I suppose I am indeed younger, seeing as you’ve already reached that conclusion🙂

I really do spend time with my boyfriend, and he is incredibly supportive of everything I do, even helping me through some pretty dull stretches, though there are moments where it feels like absolutely nothing anyone does—not even him—can truly change how I feel.
Sometimes, when we are out together, perhaps grabbing a coffee at a local cafe or just strolling through the city, I find myself completely unable to focus on the fact that I should be having a wonderful time or simply enjoying the moment, because my mind keeps drifting back to those same silly anxieties (the ones I mentioned right at the start of this thread😁). And then I catch myself spiraling over those thoughts, even though, in that exact moment, I really ought to be the happiest person alive. I am with someone I truly love, the weather is beautiful, we have zero responsibilities hanging over us, and I can see how happy he is. But I'm just not. I simply cannot relax and enjoy life, and I suppose that is my biggest struggle of all...😢

shadowviper6 said:First off, thanks. 😁
Let's move on to the answers.

1. I don't think I have a metabolism problem (I know quite a bit about it, I'm well-informed, and I'm certain a doctor would recognize it; it isn't exactly EASY for me to gain weight—not that I'd gain it instantly, but still faster than most lucky people) 😠

2. Could you explain that part about mirroring someone a bit more? (You confused me quite a bit 😕)—won't that just turn into a whole new obsession with copying her and being OBSESSED WITH IT???

3. I'm glad to hear that obsession is curable, and I had actually thought to myself that I need to avoid things that remind me of it— 🙄 —but I know it is going to be SO HARD

4. I know I need to eat rather than avoid food (because avoiding it would only make things worse and make me think about food even more, leading to greater obsession 😲), but it's so hard to control myself—it's either I eat (and I REALLY eat) or I don't eat at all

5. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with you on one thing 😁—I really think my friends can offer me a lot of support, so I'll give it a try

6. Not eating bread? Okay. But pastries (like rolls, croissants, danishes, strudels—basically anything from a bakery) are one of my biggest addictions—and that's also bread—so I honestly don't know how I'll pull that off

7. I do eat SnackWells, don't worry, BUT I do eat bread too 😁

Well, there you have it, so please feel free to weigh in with whatever thoughts or answers you can muster, and I really do appreciate the help in advance 😉

👋

Copying—it’s that whole philosophy of idolization and idealizing, you know... It feels quite comfortable when someone you consider an idol becomes this perfect figure representing your own idealized "self." I guess if you can't manage to match her habits, or become the kind of woman you want to be, nothing else really matters except getting rid of this food obsession. You just want to avoid those impulses during a simple lunch, right? Once you move past that obsession, everything else becomes easier, because then you're actually a fairly strong person. But why idealize? Why even bother doing that? Maybe I could compare it to that whole *tabula rasa* concept... You might be able to trick your own mindset by mimicking the exact actions of someone who isn't obsessed with food. By acting completely natural at dinner, behaving just like she does, and perhaps even thinking about the same things she thinks about—for instance, focusing on something other than a double portion... maybe that works. 😍

As for friends, thank God you have people who actually step up to help. It’s definitely a different feeling when someone you actually care about gives you some credit, rather than just patting yourself on the back. Though, I suppose self-validation has its uses occasionally. Personally, I find it quite meaningful to have close friends around—the kind of people who are figuratively right there by your side—especially when we dive into heavy topics, vent about others, or when they point out something about my own character that I hadn't realized yet. But at the end of the day, that impulse to say "no" can only come from within your own head. Friends can say whatever they want, I guess. They’re just a boost; they provide the direction, but you're the one doing the moving, right? xD
I wasn't allowed to eat bread. Psyche forbade it. She said no. She probably knows best.

Paul Sullivan said:Hmm... I might have an idea, though it probably won't be easy given how utterly exhausted you are. Maybe you’re dealing with metabolic issues, just like me (if I accidentally go over 1,000 calories, everything just turns straight to fat, and even heavy workouts barely move the needle), but maybe try what didn't work for me, which a specialist actually suggested. Start paying attention to people, I guess. Find a woman you admire—on a TV show, online, wherever—and once you drop a pound, try to mimic her daily routine. Eat exactly what she eats (obviously pick someone with a decent build) and exercise when she does, and watch the clock. It might sound crazy, but since everyone is different yet fundamentally similar, there's a reason people say things like "don't eat after 7 PM" and stuff like that. Though, I suppose that isn't really your core issue.

Your actual problem is obsession. I spent months going to a specialist for free ( ☕ ) sessions, so I picked up a few things along the way. Obsession can be overcome, and you really need to avoid anything that triggers it. If you were strong enough to lose weight twice before, and did it quite successfully, then you should be capable of resisting this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... I guess.

Face food head-on. Eat, but definitely don't overdo it. Everyone likes food. Everyone enjoys it. Some more, some less. But certain feelings—especially those extreme physiological urges that have spiraled into an obsession—need to be dealt with. You don't need medication or friends for that; you just need to find strength within yourself. If all else fails, just limit your access to food. Maybe set aside a little cash or something.

And yeah.
Don't eat bread.

Eat a snack bar.

Personally, I'm not a fan. It's probably your thyroid acting up; everything else is just fairy tales. If it isn't your thyroid, then you're simply eating too much. It's basic math: you consume what you burn, period. I've never met anyone who barely eats and is still overweight.

And you actually just went ahead and gave someone some seriously toxic advice.

shadowviper6 said:First off, thanks. 😁
Let's move on to the answers.

1. I don't think I have a metabolism problem (I know quite a bit about it, I'm well-informed, and I'm certain a doctor would recognize it; it isn't exactly EASY for me to gain weight—not that I'd gain it instantly, but still faster than most lucky people) 😠

2. Could you explain that part about mirroring someone a bit more? (You confused me quite a bit 😕)—won't that just turn into a whole new obsession with copying her and being OBSESSED WITH IT???

3. I'm glad to hear that obsession is curable, and I had actually thought to myself that I need to avoid things that remind me of it— 🙄 —but I know it is going to be SO HARD

4. I know I need to eat rather than avoid food (because avoiding it would only make things worse and make me think about food even more, leading to greater obsession 😲), but it's so hard to control myself—it's either I eat (and I REALLY eat) or I don't eat at all

5. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with you on one thing 😁—I really think my friends can offer me a lot of support, so I'll give it a try

6. Not eating bread? Okay. But pastries (like rolls, croissants, danishes, strudels—basically anything from a bakery) are one of my biggest addictions—and that's also bread—so I honestly don't know how I'll pull that off

7. I do eat SnackWells, don't worry, BUT I do eat bread too 😁

Well, there you have it, so please feel free to weigh in with whatever thoughts or answers you can muster, and I really do appreciate the help in advance 😉

👋

Then just give it all up; you won't die of hunger. If it doesn't work, go see a Psyche.

Paul Sullivan said:Copying—it’s that whole philosophy of idolization and idealizing, you know... It feels quite comfortable when someone you consider an idol becomes this perfect figure representing your own idealized "self." I guess if you can't manage to match her habits, or become the kind of woman you want to be, nothing else really matters except getting rid of this food obsession. You just want to avoid those impulses during a simple lunch, right? Once you move past that obsession, everything else becomes easier, because then you're actually a fairly strong person. But why idealize? Why even bother doing that? Maybe I could compare it to that whole *tabula rasa* concept... You might be able to trick your own mindset by mimicking the exact actions of someone who isn't obsessed with food. By acting completely natural at dinner, behaving just like she does, and perhaps even thinking about the same things she thinks about—for instance, focusing on something other than a double portion... maybe that works. 😍

As for friends, thank God you have people who actually step up to help. It’s definitely a different feeling when someone you actually care about gives you some credit, rather than just patting yourself on the back. Though, I suppose self-validation has its uses occasionally. Personally, I find it quite meaningful to have close friends around—the kind of people who are figuratively right there by your side—especially when we dive into heavy topics, vent about others, or when they point out something about my own character that I hadn't realized yet. But at the end of the day, that impulse to say "no" can only come from within your own head. Friends can say whatever they want, I guess. They’re just a boost; they provide the direction, but you're the one doing the moving, right? xD
I wasn't allowed to eat bread. Psyche forbade it. She said no. She probably knows best.

Yes, looking back at a few days ago when I first shared (and admitted my struggle so openly, even if anonymously), I can tell you that everything inside my head was rearranged differently—there was simply a "click" that occurred. I'm not sure how or why it happened, but I am so incredibly glad that it did.😁Since then, I haven't been thinking about food nearly as much, and I've finally realized over these last few days what it actually feels like to live normally, to be carefree, and to just enjoy life.😍😍😍😍

I certainly agree that support is vital, but I also firmly believe that only I can change my own habits and, in a sense, my obsessions. I discovered a hidden reservoir of strength and willpower within myself, and I can honestly tell you that I am so proud of myself for helping myself along (of course, with your help😉). Perhaps all of this was necessary for me to realize just how strong of a person I truly am and everything I carry inside. From here on out, I know what I am capable of and what I need to make my inner strength truly "work." I've simply gained a brand new, entirely different kind of self-confidence. It's not the kind of confidence we usually strive for or try to possess. This confidence is different because it has given me a whole new "me," whereas with standard confidence, I was merely trying to improve my existing "me."THANK YOU.😁😉👍

It looks like this has crossed the line from a concern into a full-blown obsession—honestly, you might want to go see a psychiatrist ASAP. A decent prescription could help you calm down and get your life back in order, because frankly, you don't seem quite yourself right now.😛I'm not getting worked up about it; it's really not that big of a deal. Antidepressants can be quite effective for these kinds of obsessive loops.👍

Zachary Patel6 said:It looks like this has crossed the line from a concern into a full-blown obsession—honestly, you might want to go see a psychiatrist ASAP. A decent prescription could help you calm down and get your life back in order, because frankly, you don't seem quite yourself right now.😛I'm not getting worked up about it; it's really not that big of a deal. Antidepressants can be quite effective for these kinds of obsessive loops.👍

Well, my issue actually USED to be an obsession, though it seems you skipped over my most recent post where I explained how I've moved past that and only read the very first one where I laid out the initial details, but regardless, I suppose I should thank you for what I hope is a well-intentioned bit of advice.😁

It would only work if you actually wanted to stop being obsessed first. You have to truly want to lose weight—not because of what anyone else thinks, but for your own health and your own sake.
I’m not going to lecture you on how to lose weight. I’m sure you’ve already read every book out there and tried every diet imaginable... and honestly, that’s beside the point.

But I can offer one bit of advice. 🙂It's simple: you need to find the reason behind this obsession. Why are you "punishing" yourself by overeating? You have to uncover that motivation yourself. You need to figure out why you should stop this cycle of bingeing. If you can't find those answers, it's not the end of the world. Some people are perfectly happy with their extra weight, and maybe you'll be one of those people.🤷 Don't let some arbitrary beauty standard from the media dictate whether you should lose weight or not. Whether you want this or you don't—that is the whole point, and that includes what looking "good" actually means.😉

If, after some real, honest self-reflection, you decide that you actually *do* want to lose weight, I’m certain you can succeed. But it has to be for yourself, not for anyone else. 😉

Good luck. I really hope you can move past this obsession.🙂

Give your mind something real to chew on. You need a hobby, but let’s be clear: don't settle for some sedentary, indoor distraction. If you want to actually break this obsessive loop, you need to get out of your own head by getting out of the house. The weather is finally turning, so take advantage of it. Join a hiking group, pick up cycling, or just commit to walking. Just stay outside as much as humanly possible. Approach this with a bit of a military mindset—tell yourself, "I am doing this, period," and refuse to back down. Go out on your own to a local park or a safe trail during the day; walk calmly and just talk to yourself if you have to. It helps. Figure out what actually matters to you, then write those priorities down on a "must-do" list for every single week. Track your wins. There will be setbacks, sure, but in the end, you're the one who walks away winning because everything hinges on your own resolve. You’ve already fought battles before, which proves you can do it. Just keep moving.