Losing interest in everything

I honestly can’t make sense of what’s been happening in my life over the last couple of years.
For some reason, it feels like I'm just losing interest in everything, bit by bit.
I feel like I’ve checked off most of the boxes of what I wanted to experience, so now I’ve drifted into this weird maintenance phase where I’m just going through the motions—following a routine just to kill time, though the actual drive behind it is completely gone.
On paper, I’m doing incredibly well; I’ve got a great career and an amazing girlfriend.
But if I’m being honest, I am profoundly lonely. Due to a messy web of circumstances, I end up living entirely alone, sometimes going weeks without having a real conversation with anyone besides colleagues or, well, the guy at the ATM (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but there's truth to 🙂).
By nature, I’m someone who loves being around people, socializing, and staying curious about the world.
All of this leads to these periodic crashes where I suddenly just want to walk away from everything because life starts feeling flat and meaningless. During those times, I find myself desperately hunting for some kind of intense stimulation—I start fantasizing about things that would totally transport me to another dimension, whether that’s drugs, heavy drinking, or something more deviant.
Luckily, I usually snap out of it fairly quickly, but the issue is that these episodes leave me absolutely wrecked, and it takes days or even weeks to actually get back on my feet.
Do you think seeing a psychiatrist could help me tackle this, or is this craving for extreme stimulation just an inseparable part of who I am, something that only seems to escalate over time? Where is this all heading?

It sounds like you're dealing with some heavy loneliness, which can easily spiral into depression if you aren't careful.
I’d really suggest reaching out to a therapist to talk things through, but in the meantime, try to take some small steps on your own—maybe get out more, hang out with friends more often, or even pick up a new hobby to keep your mind busy.

Everything seems fine with you; perhaps you just have a bit too much time on your hands lately.
I actually went through a very similar phase myself. On the surface, everything looked perfectly fine, but having all that extra time was honestly starting to wear me down. Eventually, I decided I needed to fill those gaps in my schedule. I finally signed up for that Goldman Sachs course I’d been eyeing for ages, and I also started hitting the gym regularly. Things are much better now; I feel great physically, and I genuinely find I have very little time left over to dwell on any negative thoughts.

Just go out there and try different hobbies until you stumble upon something that actually clicks... something that keeps you interested without being a total disaster for your health.

George Jackson5 said:Just go out there and try different hobbies until you stumble upon something that actually clicks... something that keeps you interested without being a total disaster for your health.

Believe me, I’ve given just about everything a shot, but it always seems to end in a dead end, and honestly, I've finally reached a point where I just don't have the energy to start anything new. My biggest hurdle has always been the social aspect—trying to find a group of people to actually do things with—which usually means I end up clashing with someone no matter where I turn.

Maybe you should look into enrolling in a course that actually catches your interest?
That way, you might actually run into people who are a bit more on your level...

Just grab a drink and put some Townes Van Zandt on
maybe start with "😁Hurricane
"

Chris Lopez59 said:Just grab a drink and put some Townes Van Zandt on
maybe start with "😁Hurricane
"

If I actually wanted to end it all, I wouldn't be hanging out here. I am actively looking for a way out of this mess.🙂

Gregory Miller4 said:If I actually wanted to end it all, I wouldn't be hanging out here. I am actively looking for a way out of this mess.🙂

Even Townes didn't go out like that, he just kept waiting 🙂 witnesses claim he was knocking back bourbon like it was plain old water, straight from a glass 😲

Hurricane
Townes van Zandt

There are times when I honestly have no clue
Where this godforsaken stretch of highway is dragging me
And frankly, most days I can't even find a damn reason to keep going
So I suppose I just keep placing my bets
Living off cheap whiskey and wandering aimlessly
Because anything beats just sitting there waiting for the end to come

It happened once, folks, I actually had a woman
I even had a family
He lashed out at her with a belt just because she shed a tear
Hurricane
Hurricane
Anything beats just sitting there waiting for the end to come

Once I finally grew up, I crossed paths with a girl
Down at some dive bar in Alabama
She bled me dry and played me like a fool behind my back
I tried to drown the heartache in a bottle of wine
And jumped on a freight train
It felt better than just sitting there waiting for the end to come

A buddy told me he had a lead
On a way to make some quick cash
We hit a guy, and let me tell you, we ran like hell
But the cops eventually cornered me
And hauled my sorry ass back to Oklahoma
It’s been two endless years of just waiting for death to claim me

But now that I've finally walked free from the yard
I’ve actually found myself a companion at last
He doesn't touch the bottle, he doesn't steal, and he won't tell you a single lie
His name is codine
Honestly, he's the kindest soul I've ever encountered
Hurricane
Hurricane

You’re clearly a pretty intense person, and honestly, you need a hobby that’s totally unconventional and extreme 😁

Let me try to actually be useful for once...

I was reading this one book—pretty much a staple on any bestseller list these days—that argues men basically need to feel needed, you know? Like they have to feel useful to some degree just to keep the depression at bay.

So, honestly, you just need someone to rely on you, or maybe just find some kind of purpose where you can actually feel like you're making a difference.

Gregory Miller4 said:I honestly can’t make sense of what’s been happening in my life over the last couple of years.
For some reason, it feels like I'm just losing interest in everything, bit by bit.
I feel like I’ve checked off most of the boxes of what I wanted to experience, so now I’ve drifted into this weird maintenance phase where I’m just going through the motions—following a routine just to kill time, though the actual drive behind it is completely gone.
On paper, I’m doing incredibly well; I’ve got a great career and an amazing girlfriend.
But if I’m being honest, I am profoundly lonely. Due to a messy web of circumstances, I end up living entirely alone, sometimes going weeks without having a real conversation with anyone besides colleagues or, well, the guy at the ATM (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but there's truth to 🙂).
By nature, I’m someone who loves being around people, socializing, and staying curious about the world.
All of this leads to these periodic crashes where I suddenly just want to walk away from everything because life starts feeling flat and meaningless. During those times, I find myself desperately hunting for some kind of intense stimulation—I start fantasizing about things that would totally transport me to another dimension, whether that’s drugs, heavy drinking, or something more deviant.
Luckily, I usually snap out of it fairly quickly, but the issue is that these episodes leave me absolutely wrecked, and it takes days or even weeks to actually get back on my feet.
Do you think seeing a psychiatrist could help me tackle this, or is this craving for extreme stimulation just an inseparable part of who I am, something that only seems to escalate over time? Where is this all heading?

I'm dealing with the exact same thing. Nothing feels interesting enough. My life is perfectly fine, yet I find myself completely indifferent to everything.

Gregory Miller4 said:I honestly can’t make sense of what’s been happening in my life over the last couple of years.
For some reason, it feels like I'm just losing interest in everything, bit by bit.
I feel like I’ve checked off most of the boxes of what I wanted to experience, so now I’ve drifted into this weird maintenance phase where I’m just going through the motions—following a routine just to kill time, though the actual drive behind it is completely gone.
On paper, I’m doing incredibly well; I’ve got a great career and an amazing girlfriend.
But if I’m being honest, I am profoundly lonely. Due to a messy web of circumstances, I end up living entirely alone, sometimes going weeks without having a real conversation with anyone besides colleagues or, well, the guy at the ATM (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but there's truth to 🙂).
By nature, I’m someone who loves being around people, socializing, and staying curious about the world.
All of this leads to these periodic crashes where I suddenly just want to walk away from everything because life starts feeling flat and meaningless. During those times, I find myself desperately hunting for some kind of intense stimulation—I start fantasizing about things that would totally transport me to another dimension, whether that’s drugs, heavy drinking, or something more deviant.
Luckily, I usually snap out of it fairly quickly, but the issue is that these episodes leave me absolutely wrecked, and it takes days or even weeks to actually get back on my feet.
Do you think seeing a psychiatrist could help me tackle this, or is this craving for extreme stimulation just an inseparable part of who I am, something that only seems to escalate over time? Where is this all heading?

That’s exactly where the issue lies. For someone who thrives on social interaction, this level of isolation—where absolutely nothing is happening—is brutal.

Looking at my own life, when I'm out and busy, I feel great. But the second I have downtime and find myself alone with my thoughts, I immediately spiral into dark places.

urbanotter10 said:That’s exactly where the issue lies. For someone who thrives on social interaction, this level of isolation—where absolutely nothing is happening—is brutal.

Looking at my own life, when I'm out and busy, I feel great. But the second I have downtime and find myself alone with my thoughts, I immediately spiral into dark places.

We really need to learn how to be comfortable in our own company.

I suppose I am in favor of adventurous intimacy😉
It can't really do any harm, and maybe it might just spice up a monotonous life a little bit.
good luck!

But why on earth have you gone weeks without talking to anyone? Doesn't that start to weigh on your mind after a while?

You’ve completely isolated yourself, and while I don't know what kind of work you do, there isn't a single job out there—not even working remotely for a firm in Seattle—that requires you to go weeks without any human contact whatsoever, be it with friends, family, or just casual acquaintances. Have you ever even considered wanting to live with a partner instead of being all by yourself?

You mentioned yourself that you’re generally quite social and curious, so I take that to mean you aren't naturally some sort of lone wolf who thrives on solitude; this lifestyle doesn't seem to fit your temperament at all. So, what actually happened to cause such a massive withdrawal from society?

Given your current state, it isn't surprising that you're craving stronger stimuli, anything to give you a bit of a jolt to snap you out of it. However, please don't let yourself succumb too deeply to this sense of resignation, because you really could spiral into a heavy depression or perhaps even more serious mental health struggles. You need to pull yourself together while you still can; try to ramp up your interactions with other people, because the longer we isolate ourselves, the harder it becomes to reintegrate into the world. And honestly, a few sessions with a therapist might not be a bad idea either. 🙂

Do reach out. It would be genuinely interesting to understand the actual reason behind this isolation.

I just finished reading your post. Honestly, I feel exactly the same way you do. I remember hearing this piece of advice once: "What do you do when you’re struggling? And what do you do when you’re doing fine?" It’s basically telling you to lean into those coping mechanisms—do the things that pull you through the dark times, and keep doing the things that sustain you when life is good. For me, it’s always been drawing and listening to music; that’s honestly been my lifeline. Sometimes, life just hits you all at once—questions about love, purpose, or why things are the way they are—and the weight of it can be so heavy that you genuinely run out of words. The absolute worst thing you can do is shut everyone out. That’s how you lose your grip on everyday life. If you start withdrawing and stop talking to people for long stretches, it becomes your new "normal." Even three days of total silence is pushing it. All I can tell you is what works for me: whenever I sit down to draw while playing music (whether it’s upbeat or sad), I feel like I’m purging everything—all the heartache and frustration—right onto the page. Once it's out, I feel like myself again. I look at my art and see all that emotion captured there, and it actually makes me feel proud because I turned something heavy into something tangible. It’s all about balance. No one else can find that rhythm for you; you have to discover it yourself. Just a little heads-up: don't get *too* lost in your hobbies, or you'll forget to actually live your real life. Sending hugs, you've got this.

ruggedgull33 said:But why on earth have you gone weeks without talking to anyone? Doesn't that start to weigh on your mind after a while?

You’ve completely isolated yourself, and while I don't know what kind of work you do, there isn't a single job out there—not even working remotely for a firm in Seattle—that requires you to go weeks without any human contact whatsoever, be it with friends, family, or just casual acquaintances. Have you ever even considered wanting to live with a partner instead of being all by yourself?

You mentioned yourself that you’re generally quite social and curious, so I take that to mean you aren't naturally some sort of lone wolf who thrives on solitude; this lifestyle doesn't seem to fit your temperament at all. So, what actually happened to cause such a massive withdrawal from society?

Given your current state, it isn't surprising that you're craving stronger stimuli, anything to give you a bit of a jolt to snap you out of it. However, please don't let yourself succumb too deeply to this sense of resignation, because you really could spiral into a heavy depression or perhaps even more serious mental health struggles. You need to pull yourself together while you still can; try to ramp up your interactions with other people, because the longer we isolate ourselves, the harder it becomes to reintegrate into the world. And honestly, a few sessions with a therapist might not be a bad idea either. 🙂

Do reach out. It would be genuinely interesting to understand the actual reason behind this isolation.

The reason for my loneliness is this:
I'm living in a foreign country where I don't speak the language and I don't know a single soul here. I'm only here for work...

Look, just learn the language. It shouldn't be that much of a struggle...
And besides, plenty of people speak English, so you could at least try starting there.