Obsessed with looks?

To be brief, I’m a woman in my 30s, a mom of two, and happily married.

So, after having two kids, I kind of let myself go—you know, the extra weight, the constant childcare, all that stuff. But about six months ago, I finally got back to my old self. I started working out again, eating healthy, and even treated myself to some new clothes that fit perfectly.

The thing is, I think I’ve become a bit obsessed with how I look. I spend way too much time thinking about it. My mind just wanders toward what I should wear, what layers to put on, or which new moisturizer I should pick up. Lately, it feels like that's all I think about. Instead of getting lost in a good book or focusing on something for work, I’m just scrolling through fashion trends and looking at skincare products.

It doesn't really feel like "me," so I guess I'm wondering what's going on? I've become somewhat vain, I find myself checking the mirror constantly, and... I don't know, I actually enjoy the attention when people look my way.

Honestly, I’m just sitting here trying to figure out my next move with cologne. I need to curate the whole rotation—one for this season, one for the next, maybe something specific for when I'm just feeling extra... you know, for those "bitching" moods.

Robin Foster7 said:To be brief, I’m a woman in my 30s, a mom of two, and happily married.

So, after having two kids, I kind of let myself go—you know, the extra weight, the constant childcare, all that stuff. But about six months ago, I finally got back to my old self. I started working out again, eating healthy, and even treated myself to some new clothes that fit perfectly.

The thing is, I think I’ve become a bit obsessed with how I look. I spend way too much time thinking about it. My mind just wanders toward what I should wear, what layers to put on, or which new moisturizer I should pick up. Lately, it feels like that's all I think about. Instead of getting lost in a good book or focusing on something for work, I’m just scrolling through fashion trends and looking at skincare products.

It doesn't really feel like "me," so I guess I'm wondering what's going on? I've become somewhat vain, I find myself checking the mirror constantly, and... I don't know, I actually enjoy the attention when people look my way.

Don't sweat it! What you're experiencing is actually completely normal. Let's be real—there isn't a single person on this planet who doesn't enjoy being looked at or being the center of attention once in a while.

Just lean into it and enjoy the ride!

Robin Foster7 said:To be brief, I’m a woman in my 30s, a mom of two, and happily married.

So, after having two kids, I kind of let myself go—you know, the extra weight, the constant childcare, all that stuff. But about six months ago, I finally got back to my old self. I started working out again, eating healthy, and even treated myself to some new clothes that fit perfectly.

The thing is, I think I’ve become a bit obsessed with how I look. I spend way too much time thinking about it. My mind just wanders toward what I should wear, what layers to put on, or which new moisturizer I should pick up. Lately, it feels like that's all I think about. Instead of getting lost in a good book or focusing on something for work, I’m just scrolling through fashion trends and looking at skincare products.

It doesn't really feel like "me," so I guess I'm wondering what's going on? I've become somewhat vain, I find myself checking the mirror constantly, and... I don't know, I actually enjoy the attention when people look my way.

Look, it's totally fine to enjoy feeling good about yourself, especially after hitting it hard at the gym. It’s natural to love that sense of confidence when you realize people see you as attractive and put-together...
Just be careful not to fall into the trap of narcissism or becoming way too superficial, because that line is thinner than you think. Staying grounded is key.
Long story short, you weren't feeling great about yourself for a while, so now that you're seeing those compliments roll in, you've swung a bit too far into the extreme... you might just be a little hooked on the validation...

It sounds like a psychological issue to me. It could definitely be narcissism at play. Plus, there aren't any pills for that kind of thing.

Robin Foster7 said:To be brief, I’m a woman in my 30s, a mom of two, and happily married.

So, after having two kids, I kind of let myself go—you know, the extra weight, the constant childcare, all that stuff. But about six months ago, I finally got back to my old self. I started working out again, eating healthy, and even treated myself to some new clothes that fit perfectly.

The thing is, I think I’ve become a bit obsessed with how I look. I spend way too much time thinking about it. My mind just wanders toward what I should wear, what layers to put on, or which new moisturizer I should pick up. Lately, it feels like that's all I think about. Instead of getting lost in a good book or focusing on something for work, I’m just scrolling through fashion trends and looking at skincare products.

It doesn't really feel like "me," so I guess I'm wondering what's going on? I've become somewhat vain, I find myself checking the mirror constantly, and... I don't know, I actually enjoy the attention when people look my way.

Look, you worked hard to get your body back after having kids, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the results. If it feels a little overboard right now, it might just be a phase, especially since you're clearly self-aware enough to realize you're overdoing it, so don't stress about losing your way for a second 😁.
We all have those vain moments, so it's totally normal, and there's no shame in smiling at yourself when you catch a glimpse in the mirror. Plus, I bet your husband is thrilled to have a wife who takes such good care of herself 😉

Jeffrey Chase442 said:Look, you worked hard to get your body back after having kids, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the results. If it feels a little overboard right now, it might just be a phase, especially since you're clearly self-aware enough to realize you're overdoing it, so don't stress about losing your way for a second 😁.
We all have those vain moments, so it's totally normal, and there's no shame in smiling at yourself when you catch a glimpse in the mirror. Plus, I bet your husband is thrilled to have a wife who takes such good care of herself 😉

That’s how it starts—one minute you're working out, and the next it turns into an obsession and this weird fight against aging... and let me tell you, an obsession will drain your bank account and your time faster than anything else...
Taking care of yourself is great, but if being skinny becomes the only way you feel sexy, or if you won't even step out to the local CVS without a full face of makeup and a specific outfit... then honestly, forget it

Donna White50 said:That’s how it starts—one minute you're working out, and the next it turns into an obsession and this weird fight against aging... and let me tell you, an obsession will drain your bank account and your time faster than anything else...
Taking care of yourself is great, but if being skinny becomes the only way you feel sexy, or if you won't even step out to the local CVS without a full face of makeup and a specific outfit... then honestly, forget it

It doesn't have to be an obsession, I mean, you can clearly see she knows she might have overdone it a bit, but isn't it better to be slightly preoccupied with looking good and actually putting in the effort than to just completely let yourself go and spiral into depression and frustration...
Another thing is that feeling good about yourself is basically a prerequisite for good sex too, because when you actually like what you see in the mirror and aren't ashamed of your body—that's what actually builds up your confidence.

I'm not saying being obsessed is "right," but in her case, I really think it's just pure euphoria from what she's achieved, and eventually, she'll find a balance that works for her priorities...
As long as she takes care of herself without neglecting her family or her actual responsibilities...

Robin Foster7 said:To be brief, I’m a woman in my 30s, a mom of two, and happily married.

So, after having two kids, I kind of let myself go—you know, the extra weight, the constant childcare, all that stuff. But about six months ago, I finally got back to my old self. I started working out again, eating healthy, and even treated myself to some new clothes that fit perfectly.

The thing is, I think I’ve become a bit obsessed with how I look. I spend way too much time thinking about it. My mind just wanders toward what I should wear, what layers to put on, or which new moisturizer I should pick up. Lately, it feels like that's all I think about. Instead of getting lost in a good book or focusing on something for work, I’m just scrolling through fashion trends and looking at skincare products.

It doesn't really feel like "me," so I guess I'm wondering what's going on? I've become somewhat vain, I find myself checking the mirror constantly, and... I don't know, I actually enjoy the attention when people look my way.

Maybe you're just feeling proud of the progress you've made and want to maintain that momentum... you're essentially feeding your ego with your own success.😁
It's not necessarily a bad thing as long as you don't take it too far. Losing the weight is a real achievement, after all.