Reflex retention

James Ramirez10 said:Has the kid seen a psychologist yet?

hiddenhound3 said:Yes, though he mentioned they are simply waiting for puberty to hit, so nothing definitive has been established quite yet.🙄

Gary James88 said:Does he only wet himself at daycare, or does it happen at home too?

If you think there's a psychological angle to this, your best bet is starting with a child psychologist. Since this has been going on for two years now, it's definitely getting harder to tackle, but I’d imagine it's still fixable before puberty hits.

If there is any suspicion that these issues stem from psychological roots, the most prudent course of action would be to consult a child psychologist. Although resolving such a situation becomes significantly more complex once a problem has persisted for two years, I am confident that finding a solution remains entirely possible before puberty begins.

hiddenhound3 said:It happens constantly; he never goes voluntarily. To be honest, I suspect he isn't even going during the day anymore, but rather just having accidents in his sleep throughout the night.

If there is any suspicion that these issues stem from psychological roots, the most prudent course of action would be to consult a child psychologist. Although resolving such a situation becomes significantly more complex once a problem has persisted for two years, I am confident that finding a solution remains entirely possible before puberty begins.

When we asked him why he stayed silent at first, he was completely unwilling to discuss it, eventually admitting through much insistence that he is simply afraid.

Gary James88 said:What exactly did he say he was afraid of?

It could be anything. You really need a child psychologist to sit down, run a full assessment, and look at his whole social environment to pinpoint what’s actually causing the stress. Honestly, this sounds like a reaction to daycare, though it could be something else entirely.

I'm also not totally clear on whether the psychologist started actual treatment or if they just had one single session.

hiddenhound3 said:That is precisely where the difficulty lies; reaching him is nearly impossible. He will express fear and then simply shut down, refusing to utter another word.

As far as I am aware, there was only one visit, as the parents lost interest in pursuing further sessions. That particular specialist merely suggested that this was likely the result of some form of stress. It might truly be beneficial to seek out a different professional.

In general, the little one is quite a delicate child, and they were seeing a doctor at least once a month. There are constant colds and fevers, even if nothing is particularly serious.

I cannot say for certain; perhaps he experienced some level of stress during those temperature checks... I really have no idea.

hiddenhound3 said:I am starting this thread because I’ve been thinking quite a bit about a situation involving a friend’s young son.
The boy is four years old, and ever since he started preschool two years ago, he has been refusing to have bowel movements.😢It causes him an immense amount of physical discomfort and pain.

Since the child has already been seen by several different doctors, and their collective consensus is that he is perfectly healthy from a physiological standpoint, my own conclusion is that he is somehow consciously attempting to suppress his natural reflexes. He cries intensely, jumps around, clings to whatever he can reach, and suffers through visible spasms.

Perhaps my assessment is incorrect, but the situation is truly distressing. The parents were told that the issue is psychological in nature and that it will likely resolve itself naturally by the time he reaches puberty.😲

nimbleviper142 said:Honestly, it’s nothing out of the ordinary. I’ve heard this plenty of times, and we actually dealt with something similar in my own family...
Anyway, the best move is just not to make a huge deal out of it. Don't go running to the pediatrician over this—you'll just end up traumatizing him. Don't force him into anything or lose your cool, at least not right in front of him.
Just sit him down and explain that it's totally normal and everyone does it. You could even offer to go to the bathroom with him, though that feels like going a bit overboard if you ask me. Then, maybe start some "therapy" using stuff like prune juice or other NATURAL laxatives. If he needs to wear diapers for a bit, let him.

He’s probably just terrified it’s going to hurt, or it's some other irrational fear. It might sound trivial to us, but for a two-year-old, it’s a massive deal.

It’s a long, exhausting process to get past this, if that's how you want to put it, but things will work out. In the case I know, they finally got it sorted by the time they were in fourth grade. But my memory isn't perfect, and they started dealing with it much later than your kid, plus nobody was there to help them—actually, it was the opposite, everything was made way harder than it needed to be.

Take my advice. I'm telling you this from experience, so I really hope it helps. 🙂

hiddenhound3 said:I am starting this thread because I’ve been thinking quite a bit about a situation involving a friend’s young son.
The boy is four years old, and ever since he started preschool two years ago, he has been refusing to have bowel movements.😢It causes him an immense amount of physical discomfort and pain.

Since the child has already been seen by several different doctors, and their collective consensus is that he is perfectly healthy from a physiological standpoint, my own conclusion is that he is somehow consciously attempting to suppress his natural reflexes. He cries intensely, jumps around, clings to whatever he can reach, and suffers through visible spasms.

Perhaps my assessment is incorrect, but the situation is truly distressing. The parents were told that the issue is psychological in nature and that it will likely resolve itself naturally by the time he reaches puberty.😲

vividbison13 said:Look, folks, none of this is going to work...
It pains me to be the one to say it, but you guys are acting like you've got all the answers when you really don't...
I'm coming at this from a place of total experience, hanging out here like some guy who’s seen it all, because honestly, I was the exact same kid growing up...
And I'd really like to save you years upon years of wasted time...
Not to mention the sheer misery you're going to put a child through by forcing things like castor oil down their throat or trying to push penicillin when it isn't needed...
Let me put it this way for you...
We've already figured this out—it's purely psychological...
Why?
Because it's the one way a kid can express their refusal without being outright disrespectful...
Try taking a few days off work, staying home with the kid constantly,
and then just casually mention that you might have to tell their favorite auntie or someone they actually care about that they're being difficult about using the bathroom...
I was exactly the same way; I went twenty-eight days without going once...
And you know what? It worked. For me, this lasted for years, and eventually, it turns into
this deep-seated aversion... To this day, I still find the whole process of using the restroom more unpleasant than most, but
now that I'm an adult, I have a better handle on things and can deal with my own issues more effectively...
The truth is, the kid is terrified, just like I used to be afraid of walking straight into a confrontation, because that standoff represents their stubbornness and their desperate need for attention...
The moment they finally go, that entire defensive wall comes crumbling down like a house of cards...

Thanks for listening.

Matthew Hayes14 said:Something clearly happened at that daycare.
Maybe a teacher shamed him for making a mistake, like a mess with his food or something similar.
He spilled something, missed a target, who knows—maybe she just made him feel gross for what he did.
She shamed him because he didn't succeed (poor kid—he's only two!) according to her specific standards.
And how she expected things to go.
(It isn't easy for her dealing with toddlers and messy little kids, but they are still learning.)
Maybe she punished him, or maybe she just yelled or embarrassed him.

It would be wise to figure out exactly what is causing this shame
and address that specific issue.

Don't wait too long. The child is growing,
and it's a shame for him to grow up carrying this weight.
His poor little system is suffering day after day, along with everything else tied to it.
Protect that little body (four years old!)
and his young soul.
Save him, dear child.

It would be wise to figure out exactly what is causing this shame
and address that specific issue.

Gary James88 said:What exactly did he say he was afraid of?

It could be anything. You really need a child psychologist to sit down, run a full assessment, and look at his whole social environment to pinpoint what’s actually causing the stress. Honestly, this sounds like a reaction to daycare, though it could be something else entirely.

I'm also not totally clear on whether the psychologist started actual treatment or if they just had one single session.

Matthew Hayes14 said:Something clearly happened at that daycare.
Maybe a teacher shamed him for making a mistake, like a mess with his food or something similar.
He spilled something, missed a target, who knows—maybe she just made him feel gross for what he did.
She shamed him because he didn't succeed (poor kid—he's only two!) according to her specific standards.
And how she expected things to go.
(It isn't easy for her dealing with toddlers and messy little kids, but they are still learning.)
Maybe she punished him, or maybe she just yelled or embarrassed him.

It would be wise to figure out exactly what is causing this shame
and address that specific issue.

Don't wait too long. The child is growing,
and it's a shame for him to grow up carrying this weight.
His poor little system is suffering day after day, along with everything else tied to it.
Protect that little body (four years old!)
and his young soul.
Save him, dear child.

It would be wise to figure out exactly what is causing this shame
and address that specific issue.

hiddenhound3 said:To clarify the situation, he consulted with a highly experienced child psychologist in Boston. He underwent approximately ten sessions, which even incorporated the use of laxatives, yet nothing yielded any significant results. Ultimately, the specialist herself admitted her limitations in this specific case, suggesting that they simply have to wait until puberty begins.

However, I am certain that this is by no means an isolated incident.