Resources and support for families dealing with cancer and serious illness

Nancy Hernandez43 said:No matter how harmless you think all this stress is—unfortunately—you really need to watch yourself. I haven't gone to get checked out yet to see if the stress triggered diabetes or anything, but more importantly, my dad is finally doing okay. He’s recovered from everything, and we can all finally breathe again.
Around here, nobody is going to judge you for being soft or emotional because, at the end of the day... we're all just here to support you and offer some advice. Hang in there! Kisses.

It honestly helps me seeing stuff like this. 🙂
The same goes for me; it makes things easier when I look at people like them (which is sort of what Angela Wright was getting at earlier)—seeing those two, and everyone else who went through the absolute worst of it—they're still here, they survived, they pushed through, they're still fighting, and they stayed right here with us, even though I'm sure it hasn't been easy.
Having all of you here makes it easier for me, too. 🙂

My girl just snatched a painkiller from me. It felt suspicious how overly polite she was about asking for it, and then she practically ripped it right out of my hand while I was handing it over.
Saying she loves her pills isn't an exaggeration.🙄
Now she's already eyeing two more to help her sleep.🙄
She gets small tranquilizers now; that's plenty for her. I stopped giving her Haldol a long time ago, and now I'm slowly tapering off the Vacation, too. Those heavy-duty meds are just total garbage.👎

And I have to count out the cotton swabs before bed. 😁

Ladies, may God watch over you all. 🙂

Melissa Kim45 said:It provides a certain sense of relief to witness this kind of resilience... 🙂
In much the same way, I find comfort in seeing people like Jane Doe—and everyone else who has weathered the worst of it—still standing, still fighting, and remaining present among us, even though I am certain their journey hasn't been easy...
Having all of you here makes things a little easier to bear... 🙂

My daughter just snatched a painkiller from me... It was suspicious how overly polite she was being when she asked, practically ripping it out of my hand as I tried to hand it over...
To say she has a fondness for pills would be an understatement... 🙄
And now, she’s already eyeing two sleep aids... 🙄
She receives small tranquilizers; anything more would be too much. I stopped giving her Haldol quite some time ago, and I am gradually tapering her off the Vacation as well... those heavy medications are nothing but garbage... 👎

I also have to count the earplugs before I can finally head to bed... 😁

Ladies, may God watch over you all... 🙂

I never had to deal with my mother's medication directly, as my father handled all of those responsibilities... however, I do recall that regarding pain management, the doctor at the Bird clinic provided a scale from 0 to 9 using a small rolling ball... he told my father that if Mom moved the ball past a 6, he could administer a pill, otherwise, he should encourage her to endure it... I must admit, she was remarkably strong without them, rarely pushing past that 6... which was beneficial, as it prevented her body from becoming dependent on being "sedated"...

Kisses, and I truly admire everyone who has been here since the beginning, growing stronger and more prepared to help us all...

Melissa Kim45 said:It provides a certain sense of solace to witness these kinds of situations... 🙂
In much the same way, I find comfort in seeing those who have endured the worst—much like what Jane Doe mentioned earlier—seeing them still standing, having survived their struggles, continuing to fight, and remaining present with us, despite the obvious difficulties they face...
Finding strength among all of you here offers me a similar peace. 🙂

My daughter just snatched a pain reliever from me... I found her overly polite request somewhat suspicious, especially since she practically tore it out of my hand as I was handing it over.
To say she has a penchant for pills would be an understatement. 🙄
And now, she is eyeing two more to help her sleep... 🙄
She receives mild tranquilizers; anything stronger is far too much for her. I stopped using Haldol quite some time ago, and I am gradually tapering her off the Vacation as well... those heavy medications are truly nothing but garbage... 👎

I also have to count the earplugs before bedtime... 😁

Ladies, may God watch over you all... 🙂

I never had to manage my mother’s medications personally, as my father handled all the caregiving responsibilities... however, I do recall that regarding pain management, the doctor at the Bird clinic provided a scale ranging from 0 to 9, featuring a small rolling ball... he instructed my father that if Mom moved the ball past a 6, he could administer a pill; otherwise, he was to encourage her to endure it. I must admit, she possessed remarkable resilience and managed without medication quite often... she rarely pushed past a 6, which was ideal, as it prevented her body from becoming accustomed to being constantly sedated...

Kisses to you all, and I share your admiration for everyone who has been here since the beginning, growing even stronger and better prepared to offer support for all of our sakes...

Angela Wright said:Hey, thanks so much for sharing all that info with me! Regarding the bylaws, we actually drafted them using a template provided on the websites of some similar non-profit organizations. I honestly think they turned out quite solid, and the meeting minutes look great too.👍 Well, since we've already submitted all the paperwork, there isn't much left to do but wait, and if things get complicated, we aren't far from Small Town.😉

Anyway, I really hope everything moves along quickly and smoothly for you guys! And before I forget—if you find yourselves needing any legal assistance at all, just let me know, because I'm more than happy to help out!

Elizabeth Gonzalez55 said:Alright, I truly hope everything wraps up quickly and without too much pain! And let me just add—if any of you need legal assistance, don't hesitate to ask; I am more than happy to help!

So, how is he doing?

Elizabeth Gonzalez55 said:Alright, I’m rooting for everything to wrap up quickly and smoothly! And just a heads-up—if you find yourselves needing any legal backup, don't hesitate to ask. I'm happy to help out.

Thanks a million. Our association is definitely going to need someone with a legal background, so consider this an open invitation to join us if you have the time and interest. We’ve got some massive plans in the works that just won't fly without solid legal support.
Here’s the latest scoop: we ran into some incredibly kind people at the local federal office who actually made it their mission to fast-track our case. They went through all our paperwork, caught a few minor errors, helped us fix them, and emailed everything back for signature. As things stand now, we could potentially have this all wrapped up by the end of the day.👍

Melissa Kim45 said:🙂

Is it a comfort? I mean, maybe not really, but kind of. There are moments when I feel like I’m losing my absolute mind and I can't talk to anyone because people just get bored. They don't realize it, they don't care, or they just find it exhausting.
Honestly, I have no idea how anyone manages to tolerate being around me.🙏 🙏

My cycle is completely messed up. My doctor says it's from the stress.

I'm trying not to whine. I really am, but sometimes I just turn into such a total crybaby.

Thanks, girls. 🙂

Look, at least you don't have to feel awkward dumping everything that's eating you alive right here. We all get it. I vent to my sister, she vents to me... it's just this endless loop day after day. When I hang out with friends, I rarely bring up Mom; I might mention it in passing, but that's about it. I don't expect them to actually get what I'm going through (unless they've dealt with something similar), and honestly, it helps me to focus on something else for a bit.
Right now, every single time I see my mom, it’s like an absolute test of my sanity.
She’s been diabetic for 20 years now; even the insulin shots she takes aren't helping her levels, yet she just stuffs herself with whatever food she can get her hands on. She is obsessed with food. Lunch isn't even over and she's already obsessing over dinner. She literally steals food in her own house. And don't even get me started on sweets... Can you imagine how hard it's going to be to control what she eats during the holidays? It's a nightmare. I try to explain things to her, but what's the point? She doesn't understand anything anyway. Her blood sugar hits 20 even with insulin therapy, and she just shrugs and says, "It's not that high." Then she gets up in the middle of the night to make grits (she doesn't even know how to cook anymore, so she just hides the evidence in the oven).
I don't even know how to keep myself in check. I want to be good, I want to stay calm and not show my frustration in front of her, but damn, it's so incredibly hard. I'm not a robot.

The "FOR A NEW DAY" association—supporting those battling cancer, their families, and their loved ones—is officially live as of today!🙂

Guys, I am honestly so happy I could cry!

HUZZAH! WAY TO GO!!!!!
THIS IS SOME SERIOUSLY PROMISING NEWS!!! :-))))

Huge props to you for sticking with it and actually pulling this off!

Angela Wright said:The "FOR A NEW DAY" association for cancer patients, families, and friends is officially launched today!🙂

Guys, I’m seriously crying happy tears right now!

Jane Doe, I'm tearing up too. This is HUGE, and we'll look back on this moment years from now!
BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO!

Honestly, even as a bit of a pessimist, I didn't think our officials would actually pull this off so quickly... Pretty impressive, I guess.👍

Hey, wow, that’s great news—I'm reading this so fast! That was quick. Really good stuff.
Now, a little word for Melissa Kim45 and everyone else dealing with similar struggles. I know firsthand how incredibly hard it is to manage both aging parents and your own sanity when everyone is just pushed to the absolute limit... It’s exhausting for them, and honestly, it’s just as draining for us. Take my dad, for example. I can barely get him to take a single pill. When he’s hurting, he just shuts down and stays silent, so I’m stuck playing detective, trying to guess if he’s in pain, how bad it is, or if he can even handle it. He rarely actually admits he’s hurting, but when he finally does? Then I know it’s REAL pain. He never used to take anything in his life, but now, if we try to give him some propolis capsules, he starts yelling at me. And once he sees how many are left in the bottle, he just completely loses it.🙂 Well, maybe not always.
Anyway, we really have to look out for ourselves, because if we burn out, we aren't any good to anyone—including ourselves. I’ve been thinking about seeing a good psychologist for a while now because I am seriously on edge... Sometimes I don't even know what to do with myself, and it's getting to the point where my relationship is starting to fall apart... Not to mention everything else.
I guess I just need someone to tell me if this is normal—being in a situation like mine. I’m terrified of how I’ll cope if Dad’s condition gets worse and we hit that worst-case scenario, especially after losing Mom... But we did start that B17 therapy, so I'm hoping—not for a miracle, just hoping—that it might at least slow things down enough for his body to recover a little so he can function on his own again.
Best,

Look, I don't want anyone thinking I'm taking all the credit here. I really just want to point out that slyseal28 is the one who actually deserves the spotlight. She did the heavy lifting and provided the spark when I was running on empty, finally making this association a reality. The rest of us were basically just passengers tagging along to support her, but that woman is built differently. I honestly don't know anyone else who can truly live up to a handle like slyseal28 in real life👍. She’s a fighter down to her very marrow. Honestly, with a woman like her in your corner, there isn't a husband alive who wouldn't get healthy—she’d simply "force" him to recover through sheer willpower😉. I'm pretty sure her Pigeon would back me up on that assessment😍

briskbison27 said:How is he doing, dear?

Honestly, it’s hard to put into words... He recovered beautifully from the surgery and now he’s gearing up for round two of this battle, which involves traveling to Germany for some experimental immunotherapy. Reading through all these posts, I can't help but feel a bit envious of those of you who have more traditional fighting options available; our oncologists told us that neither chemo nor radiation would be effective here, though they did mention seeing cases where people lived inexplicably long lives. So, we’re really just left holding onto hope. We haven't let ourselves get discouraged, though; we've enrolled him in a German melanoma research program and have leaned heavily into holistic changes—he’s overhauled his diet, stays very active, and right now I'm trying to nudge him toward meditation because he's been so much more high-strung since this whole ordeal began.

As for whether everything we've done actually worked, we won't know for sure until the follow-up PET/CT scan at the beginning of February. He's staying positive and is convinced everything will turn out fine. :-)

Angela Wright said:Thank you so much. Our association is definitely going to need someone with a legal background, so I’m reaching out to see if you might have the interest and the time to join us. We have some pretty big ideas on the table that just won't be possible to pull off without some solid legal support.

Absolutely, I'll shoot you a private message about it! :-)

Elizabeth Gonzalez55 said:It’s honestly hard to put into words... He recovered so well from his surgery and now he's gearing up for round two in this fight, which means heading to Germany for some experimental immunotherapy. Reading all these posts makes me so envious of everyone who actually has a fighting chance—our oncologists told us that neither chemo nor radiation is helping much, though they have seen cases where people stayed in remission for an inexplicably long time. So, we're just left hoping... We aren't letting things get us down, though! We signed him up for a research program in Germany for melanoma and we've really leaned into holistic stuff too—he changed his diet, stays super active, and now I'm trying to talk him into meditation since he's been so much more anxious since this all started.

We'll see if any of this pays off after the follow-up PET/CT scan in early February. He's totally convinced everything is going to be okay! :-)

I am so sorry you guys are going through this, but it's wonderful that you have a solid plan and are tackling this together. Most importantly, having that positive attitude is everything!

I'm really curious about what kind of experimental immunotherapy they offer in Germany... is it something for all types of cancer, or just specifically for melanoma?
Thanks!

Angela Wright said:The "FOR A NEW DAY" association—supporting those fighting cancer, their families, and friends—is officially up and running as of today!🙂

Seriously guys, I’m actually tearing up right now. So happy for them.

BRAVO!!! WAY TO GO!!! HUGE CONGRATS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!👍

Angela Wright said:The "A NEW DAY" association for people battling cancer, along with their families and friends, is officially up and running as of today!🙂

Honestly, I’m so happy I could just cry about it.

Huge congratulations! 👍 🙂 🎉

Here's to a new day! 👍

brightgardener8 said:Look, don't feel awkward about just unloading everything that's weighing you down right here. We all get it. I find myself venting to my sister, then she vents to me... it’s just this endless cycle every single day. When I’m out with friends, I rarely bring up Mom; if I do, it’s just passing comments. I don't really expect them to grasp what I'm actually going through—unless they've dealt with something similar themselves—and honestly, it helps me to focus on something else for a while.
Every time I see Mom lately, it feels like an absolute test of my mental endurance.
She’s been diabetic for twenty years now, and even the Dexcom sensors she uses seem to be failing because her blood sugar keeps spiking, yet she just stuffs herself with whatever food is within reach. She’s completely obsessed with eating. Lunch isn't even over before she's already planning dinner. She actually sneaks food in her own house. And don't even get me started on the desserts... You can only imagine how impossible it’s going to be to manage her diet during this holiday season. It’s just exhausting. I try to explain things to her, but what’s the point? She doesn't understand anything anyway. Her sugar hits 20 even while she's on insulin therapy, and she just shrugs it off, saying, "It's not that high." Then she'll get up in the middle of the night to make some grits—though she barely knows how to cook anymore, so she ends up hiding the evidence of her mishaps in the oven.
I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep my cool. I want to be a good daughter and not show my frustration in front of her, but it's just so incredibly difficult. I'm not a machine.

I feel exactly the same way.

One day, she solemnly placed a face cream on the table and asked me if I could tell her what it was actually used for.😁

I managed to pull some vacation time together, so I'll have almost a full week to catch up on my own backlog and maybe try to pamper her a little bit too. I don't think I'll get any more time off before Easter, which seems like it's coming way too early next year.

And I am definitely going to catch up on sleep.🙂 😁 🙂