#1 ·
Roommates and Regrets
I’m picking up where I left off in that previous thread—which, for some reason, got shut down. Should this have been moved over to the psychology subforum? Honestly, I’ve never quite wrapped my head around how the moderation here works, but I’ll try to calmly lay out the rest of what I couldn't say there...
So, here's the deal: I took in a girl who just turned twenty, and we’re living in a tiny apartment together. I am seriously torn right now between whether I should kick her out, move out myself, or just somehow push her away from my life entirely.
She came from a domestic violence shelter, so she’s dealt with some heavy family stuff. Initially, I felt nothing but sympathy for her, but lately, it feels like life is just throwing one shock after another at me. First, her parents thought she’d committed suicide and had the police showing up at my door, then she started bringing guys back to the apartment... now I’m getting the distinct impression she isn't just using these guys, she's using me too, treating me like some sort of surrogate mother. After I started that last thread, an older woman from next door actually knocked on my door and lectured me, saying I need to look out for the kid, that she's basically still a child, that I should help her get a job and whatnot... Look, I *do* all that, but I’m just so frustrated. I come home and there’s some guy sitting on my bed—someone she considers just another "friend"—and they’re practically making out right in front of me, only for someone else to show up the very next day...
I’ve already told her straight up: no guests. But does she listen? Not even a little. To make matters worse, the girl can't even remember my name, which is pretty ridiculous considering it’s a super common American name. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if something is wrong with her, like, is her head actually okay? And this whole thing with the older guys she hangs out with is terrifying; one of them has a real temper and gets aggressive. I’m honestly scared she’s going to end up a victim of more violence or something even worse.
The guilt is eating at me. Part of me knows I need to get out, but then I start questioning if that’s the right thing to do. Should I wait until she gets her first paycheck to see if she’s actually exploiting people or if she’s just broke? But deep down, my gut is screaming at me to just run for the hills. My perfumes are disappearing, my makeup is being used, my food is being eaten... she’s lounging on my bed and using my towels... I really can't take it anymore.
I have this nagging feeling that there might be something deeper going on with her, like all of this can't just be a series of coincidences...
I’m picking up where I left off in that previous thread—which, for some reason, got shut down. Should this have been moved over to the psychology subforum? Honestly, I’ve never quite wrapped my head around how the moderation here works, but I’ll try to calmly lay out the rest of what I couldn't say there...
So, here's the deal: I took in a girl who just turned twenty, and we’re living in a tiny apartment together. I am seriously torn right now between whether I should kick her out, move out myself, or just somehow push her away from my life entirely.
She came from a domestic violence shelter, so she’s dealt with some heavy family stuff. Initially, I felt nothing but sympathy for her, but lately, it feels like life is just throwing one shock after another at me. First, her parents thought she’d committed suicide and had the police showing up at my door, then she started bringing guys back to the apartment... now I’m getting the distinct impression she isn't just using these guys, she's using me too, treating me like some sort of surrogate mother. After I started that last thread, an older woman from next door actually knocked on my door and lectured me, saying I need to look out for the kid, that she's basically still a child, that I should help her get a job and whatnot... Look, I *do* all that, but I’m just so frustrated. I come home and there’s some guy sitting on my bed—someone she considers just another "friend"—and they’re practically making out right in front of me, only for someone else to show up the very next day...
I’ve already told her straight up: no guests. But does she listen? Not even a little. To make matters worse, the girl can't even remember my name, which is pretty ridiculous considering it’s a super common American name. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if something is wrong with her, like, is her head actually okay? And this whole thing with the older guys she hangs out with is terrifying; one of them has a real temper and gets aggressive. I’m honestly scared she’s going to end up a victim of more violence or something even worse.
The guilt is eating at me. Part of me knows I need to get out, but then I start questioning if that’s the right thing to do. Should I wait until she gets her first paycheck to see if she’s actually exploiting people or if she’s just broke? But deep down, my gut is screaming at me to just run for the hills. My perfumes are disappearing, my makeup is being used, my food is being eaten... she’s lounging on my bed and using my towels... I really can't take it anymore.
I have this nagging feeling that there might be something deeper going on with her, like all of this can't just be a series of coincidences...