#1 ·
I wasn't entirely sure whether to post this under Psychology or Health; perhaps a moderator could move it if necessary, though I suspect I might receive more serious responses here.
How should I even begin... essentially, I have a nagging feeling that my brother is unwell, and I am at a loss as to how to help him. We have lived in the same house since our parents handed over the deed, though we occupy different floors. I am in my late twenties and was in a long-term relationship until recently. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?), it turned out we weren't right for one another, and we parted ways as friends. What is truly troubling me is that ever since my breakup, my younger brother—by several years—has somehow started... making advances toward me. I realize how absurd that sounds, but there might be a rationale: when we were children, we experimented sexually (at my suggestion), and it was an intriguing experience. It lasted only about a week, and we never progressed to actual intercourse because I didn't want to; it was merely kissing and caressing. I know some might find that repulsive, but I have read that it isn't as uncommon as one might think. Therefore, I am less ashamed of it than I once was, and I ask that you please spare me the judgment and the stares. Ultimately, that chapter is closed. The problem is that while I have moved past that adolescent curiosity, my brother clearly hasn't. He still operates under the delusion that I am sexually interested in him, which is pure nonsense, and I have already attempted to clarify this several times when he becomes suggestive. To be clear, he would never lay a hand on me without my consent, and I don't feel physically threatened because I know he loves and respects me, but I worry that this behavior isn't normal for a man his age. I’ve tried to rationalize it—perhaps because he hasn't had a girlfriend in a while (which is odd, as he isn't unattractive) or because he has a slightly arrogant streak and enjoys defying social norms—but acting this way at twenty-four is simply too much. I genuinely fear this isn't just another instance of him being provocative or foolish, but rather the tip of a much larger iceberg. My greatest fear is that this could be the onset of some form of psychosis, especially since it feels like a detachment from reality, and we actually have a history of schizophrenia in our family. Is it possible for it to start this way? I know he’s been under immense stress lately finishing up his degree at university, and perhaps that is a factor, but isn't everyone stressed? In truth, it isn't my place to diagnose the cause. I simply no longer know how to behave around him or how to assist him. When we talk, he seems perfectly normal and I enjoy his company, but then suddenly these advances occur, and I realize something is fundamentally wrong. Again, I must emphasize: he is never aggressive; on the contrary, he is quite gentle and considerate. However, the very notion of incest strikes me as a complete failure of logic and reasoning. He is far too intelligent for such things; if I didn't know him, I would assume he was merely a deviant or a fool, but this is uncharacteristic for him, and that is what terrifies me. I don't know how to explain to him that what is happening in his mind is not normal and that he needs to see a psychologist. If I am direct, I know he won't listen, because he shows absolutely no outward sign of having "lost it," and aside from this, I have no other evidence. Knowing him, he will simply claim he was joking or that I am overreacting. The worst part is that I feel responsible for his state given that I initiated our childhood experimentation, and I wonder if our parents' presence was the only thing preventing these desires from surfacing all these years. I read somewhere that men go through a sort of delayed puberty, and perhaps that experience left a deeper mark on him than it did on me? On the other hand, I know how cunning he can be, and perhaps he is playing on my sense of guilt to get me to relent, which will never happen. It even crossed my mind that he might be trying to drive me out of the house this way, though I dismissed that after asking him a few pointed questions. And I don't believe he is that devious, though he does occasionally toy with people's emotions. I wouldn't want to involve my parents yet as the situation is incredibly awkward, and I would have to disclose our childhood experimentation, which would be deeply difficult. So, how does one persuade a mentally ill person to seek help? Is he actually ill? If anyone has had a similar experience or has any insight, I would truly value your perspective and advice, as this is weighing heavily on me. Thank you in advance.
P.S. I typed this out in a bit of a rush, so please forgive me if it feels slightly disjointed—that's pretty much how my head feels right now.
How should I even begin... essentially, I have a nagging feeling that my brother is unwell, and I am at a loss as to how to help him. We have lived in the same house since our parents handed over the deed, though we occupy different floors. I am in my late twenties and was in a long-term relationship until recently. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?), it turned out we weren't right for one another, and we parted ways as friends. What is truly troubling me is that ever since my breakup, my younger brother—by several years—has somehow started... making advances toward me. I realize how absurd that sounds, but there might be a rationale: when we were children, we experimented sexually (at my suggestion), and it was an intriguing experience. It lasted only about a week, and we never progressed to actual intercourse because I didn't want to; it was merely kissing and caressing. I know some might find that repulsive, but I have read that it isn't as uncommon as one might think. Therefore, I am less ashamed of it than I once was, and I ask that you please spare me the judgment and the stares. Ultimately, that chapter is closed. The problem is that while I have moved past that adolescent curiosity, my brother clearly hasn't. He still operates under the delusion that I am sexually interested in him, which is pure nonsense, and I have already attempted to clarify this several times when he becomes suggestive. To be clear, he would never lay a hand on me without my consent, and I don't feel physically threatened because I know he loves and respects me, but I worry that this behavior isn't normal for a man his age. I’ve tried to rationalize it—perhaps because he hasn't had a girlfriend in a while (which is odd, as he isn't unattractive) or because he has a slightly arrogant streak and enjoys defying social norms—but acting this way at twenty-four is simply too much. I genuinely fear this isn't just another instance of him being provocative or foolish, but rather the tip of a much larger iceberg. My greatest fear is that this could be the onset of some form of psychosis, especially since it feels like a detachment from reality, and we actually have a history of schizophrenia in our family. Is it possible for it to start this way? I know he’s been under immense stress lately finishing up his degree at university, and perhaps that is a factor, but isn't everyone stressed? In truth, it isn't my place to diagnose the cause. I simply no longer know how to behave around him or how to assist him. When we talk, he seems perfectly normal and I enjoy his company, but then suddenly these advances occur, and I realize something is fundamentally wrong. Again, I must emphasize: he is never aggressive; on the contrary, he is quite gentle and considerate. However, the very notion of incest strikes me as a complete failure of logic and reasoning. He is far too intelligent for such things; if I didn't know him, I would assume he was merely a deviant or a fool, but this is uncharacteristic for him, and that is what terrifies me. I don't know how to explain to him that what is happening in his mind is not normal and that he needs to see a psychologist. If I am direct, I know he won't listen, because he shows absolutely no outward sign of having "lost it," and aside from this, I have no other evidence. Knowing him, he will simply claim he was joking or that I am overreacting. The worst part is that I feel responsible for his state given that I initiated our childhood experimentation, and I wonder if our parents' presence was the only thing preventing these desires from surfacing all these years. I read somewhere that men go through a sort of delayed puberty, and perhaps that experience left a deeper mark on him than it did on me? On the other hand, I know how cunning he can be, and perhaps he is playing on my sense of guilt to get me to relent, which will never happen. It even crossed my mind that he might be trying to drive me out of the house this way, though I dismissed that after asking him a few pointed questions. And I don't believe he is that devious, though he does occasionally toy with people's emotions. I wouldn't want to involve my parents yet as the situation is incredibly awkward, and I would have to disclose our childhood experimentation, which would be deeply difficult. So, how does one persuade a mentally ill person to seek help? Is he actually ill? If anyone has had a similar experience or has any insight, I would truly value your perspective and advice, as this is weighing heavily on me. Thank you in advance.
P.S. I typed this out in a bit of a rush, so please forgive me if it feels slightly disjointed—that's pretty much how my head feels right now.