Thread's been hijacked... (broken)

Is there... an actual recipe for this?

How do you just forget?

How do you stop the constant loop of thinking about the person you still love being with someone else?

How do you find some kind of calm?

How do you stop obsessing over how someone can just discard you after a long relationship—ending everything over a phone call because they can't even face you in person?

And you didn't even cheat.

Instead, he walks out the door, meets someone else, and they’re already seeing each other by the next day...

While you're stuck at home alone. Just you and the tears and those pathetic R&B songs... while his phone is still sitting there with her number saved... 😠

How do you move forward? Is the only option to find comfort in someone else? Or is it really just that tired old cliché that "time heals all wounds"?

How, how, how... a thousand different ways of asking how...

My condolences...

Pure pathos right out of the gate.

Lobotomy actually helps...😁 😉

It’s not that she’s being pathetic; she’s just in total shock... it's completely normal. That initial sting will wear off in a few days, and then she'll probably look back at this post and think the whole thing sounds absolutely ridiculous 🙂

A cure? There isn't one... you just slowly, gradually, start feeling less of the ache over time. People say it passes once you meet someone else. Though even then—even years down the road—when the memory hits you, it still stings a bit... but it’s nothing like that raw misery and heartbreak you feel right at the start.

Hang in there. If he jumped into another relationship by day two, then clearly he never truly appreciated you, didn't care... he wasn't worth your time... I won't descend into being overly sentimental now, if you catch my drift... 😉

bluecobra4 said:So... what's the secret recipe?

There isn't one.😢

bluecobra4 said:How do I just forget?

It's damn hard.😢

bluecobra4 said:How am I supposed to stop thinking about how the woman I still love is already with someone else?

😢

bluecobra4 said:How do I just calm down?

That's where your buddies come in.

bluecobra4 said:How do I stop obsessing over the fact that after a long relationship, she just dumps you in a single day via a phone call?
I didn't even cheat on her.
And then she goes out, meets some other guy, and they're practically inseparable by tomorrow...
While I'm stuck at home. Listening to those pathetic, sappy songs...

😢

bluecobra4 said:I... what exactly is the recipe...?

I don't have a magic formula for you—not really—but since I’ve been stuck in this exact same spot for two weeks now, I can at least offer some advice...

Don't bother listening to that sappy R&B stuff—or any love songs for that matter...

Don't go watching any romance movies...

Hide, burn, or just toss everything that reminds you of him—delete those texts, wipe his number from your phone... just get it out of sight.

Try to recall all the awful things they did to you...

Don't just sit there by yourself—get out of the house and go hang out with some friends...

No matter how much you feel the urge to reach out—believe me, I get it—just don't send him those texts, don't call him, and for heaven's sake, just avoid running into him...

Just let it all out—crying actually helps...

Don’t go rushing out to find someone new immediately—you'll just end up trying to use them as a quick fix for what you lost, and let's be honest, that never actually works...

Well, there you go—hopefully that actually helped you out, even if just a little bit...

If you aren't feeling any better, just give me a shout—we'll figure something out... 🙂

Let me try to shake things up with a little thought experiment. In every group or circle of friends, there’s always that one person who's perpetually down—I'm convinced of it. Someone who’s just miserable from sunrise to sunset and manages to find a cloud in every silver lining. For them, the glass isn't just half empty; it’s bone dry, all the time. So, when you go through a breakup, should you really be calling up that person for coffee? Because no matter how much you try to vent, you’ll never get a word in edgewise over their own drama. You end up so focused on trying to fix them that you completely lose sight of your own mess. And if you actually manage to cheer them up? Well, then you're just relieved you did, aren't you?
Ha! Just sliced right through the Gordian knot of messy breakups! And I did it without any unsolicited advice about hitting the bar or hooking up! WICKED! 😎 😎

Hanging out with depressed people actually helps. It isn't pleasant, but seeing others suffer provides perspective. Let’s be realistic: only God can help you now. The more you struggle to forget, the more obvious it is that the problem remains. All that advice about him not being worth it? It never works. If it were truly trivial, you wouldn't be hurting. The solution: wait and hope. (Alcohol helps.)

Perhaps you might find some solace in getting out for a while, or maybe just finding someone to talk to? It often helps to simply release everything that's weighing on your heart, or even try looking at things from a different perspective by identifying those small frustrations you haven't quite dared to admit to yourself before. Instead of leaning into those melancholy songs, why not try listening to something a bit more uplifting instead? ☕

Go ahead and download these tracks from the internet:
- Don't worry, be happy (Bob Marley)
- Life goes on (LeeAnn Rimes)
- Walking away (Craig David)
- Sexed up (Robbie Williams)

And frankly, one could continue this list indefinitely. The fundamental point I am trying to make is this: purge those pathetic, draining songs from your life that serve no purpose other than dragging you deeper into a state of melancholy!

And by the way—get out there! If it is at all possible, go find yourself a new man!

🙂
I suppose I really must learn to laugh at myself...
There I was, foolishly attempting to lecture others on wisdom, only to be confronted by my own ridiculous lyrics at the very end
🎉

Michelle Richardson21 said:🙂
I really have to laugh at myself sometimes...
I thought I was being all profound and wise, then I look at my own lyrics at the end
🎉

Is that Mariah Carey? Don't come for me—I don't usually listen to that kind of music...

Yeah, the holidays are honestly the worst. Especially Christmas. It’s snowing outside, the lights are twinkling everywhere, and you’re just sitting there alone while the people you actually care about are somewhere else entirely...

😢

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock... and it just keeps going on and on and on.

Douglas Hayes6 said:Yeah, the holidays are honestly the worst. Especially Christmas. It's snowing outside, all the lights are twinkling, yet you're just sitting there alone while the people you actually care about are miles away elsewhere.

Let’s just not talk about the holidays.😢

The fundamental issue with the holiday season is that even if you aren't physically alone 🙂 , there is still that profound sense of missing "that certain someone" 🙂 ...