Under my spell...

After a week of peace, my ex popped back up in my life. He’s the kind of guy you love with everything you have, right up until the moment you realize just how broken he actually is...
And now, he's back specifically to drag me through the mud. He had the nerve to tell me his girlfriend is pregnant—apparently, she got pregnant while we were still together—and he says it like I actually care about his mess...
The truth is, he feeds on this. He loves seeing me spiraling, feeling hurt, and falling apart. And the worst part? I keep handing him the hammer. I don't get it. Why can't I just block him? Why am I still listening to his nonsense? Why do I let him break me over and over again?
Every time a notification pops up from him, I literally shake. I know he’s going to hurt me, yet I still read every word. How do I build a wall so thick that his words can't touch me anymore?

Just put him on the ignore list👍

Wait, back up. Explain yourself! 😕

Was he cheating on his girlfriend with you, or was it the other way around?

Joshua Barnes2 said:And now he pops up again just to mess with my head even more. Tells me his girlfriend is pregnant—that she got pregnant while they were still together or whatever. As if I actually care...

If you didn't care, you wouldn't be posting about it here.😉

You'll get through it... though maybe a threesome is the move? 😉 😁

Let me be clear: we were seeing each other... but all that time, he was also seeing her. It was likely the exact same situation, and we had absolutely no clue until just recently. Is that crystal clear now?

You’re going to get hurt exactly as many times as you let him in. You have to realize that there are people out there who, for whatever reason, just don't have a functioning sense of empathy. He isn't capable of connecting with your feelings or even understanding them, even if he’s gone through the exact same thing himself. So please, stop thinking you can change him—you won't. Honestly, even professional therapy might not be able to fix that kind of wiring.

My advice? Start deleting his messages immediately and block his number the second you see it pop up. It’s going to be incredibly hard because once he realizes you're actually standing up for yourself, he’s going to lash out even harder. But at this point, I don't think it's even a choice anymore; it's about your own survival.

The hardest part is that first time when you hit "delete" on a message before you've even read it, but after a while, it gets easier. Just try. Think back to something similar—like when I was a kid and I absolutely hated getting my shots at the pediatrician. I’d just show up, grit my teeth, and tell myself to just "get it over with" instead of spiraling about how much it was going to hurt. That's what you need to do. Grit your teeth and hit delete. Don't even give yourself the chance to process what he wrote. Because trust me, there is nothing good in there. He’s never going to feel remorse... the guy is a total animal.👎

Joshua Barnes2 said:Let me make this crystal clear: we were together... but he was seeing her at the exact same time, and neither of us had any clue until just now. Is that simple enough for you?

Sorry, lady, but all I can say is you're both being idiots.
Except, isn't she actually the bigger idiot since she's still stuck with him?
Whatever happened to that "famous female intuition" everyone talks about?

Look, I’ll admit it—I was being naive. When you’re head over heels, it’s easy to just turn a blind eye to the red flags...
My gut was screaming at me from day one that this guy would end up hurting me. But after that? Who knows. I guess I was just too caught up in the honeymoon phase to realize he wasn't the right fit for me. But honestly, that's water under the bridge. The real challenge now is figuring out how to tune him out completely so he stops having this negative grip on my life...

mistypanther said:Sorry lady, all I can say is you're both being idiots.
But honestly, which one is actually the bigger idiot if she’s still hanging on to him?
So much for that "famous female intuition" everyone talks about, right?

Yeah, this immediately rings a bell for me too.
The problem is, you can't just switch off how you feel, and that's the worst part.
Plus, it's common knowledge—though I have no clue why—that women tend to fall hard for the exact guys who treat them like garbage...🙄

The fact that you still love him is the real kicker. I honestly don't know how to help, but maybe time will do its thing? You know what they say: "Time heals all wounds."
I’m going through the exact same thing right now. Hang in there. Best,

Joshua Barnes2 said:I’d call myself foolish, honestly. But when you're head over heels, don't you just choose to turn a blind eye to all the red flags?
My gut told me from day one that this guy was trouble. But honestly? I was too blinded by the honeymoon phase to listen to my own instincts. That’s on me. Regardless, what’s done is done, but now I’m stuck with the fallout. How am I supposed to just shut him out and stop him from getting under my skin?

If you’re actually attractive, you can try to take me out, but don't hold your breath—you won't stand a chance.
Of course, you’ll end up suffering because of me, but if that’s what it takes to get what I want, then so be it. Isn't that just how it works? 😉 😁

Joshua Barnes2 said:And now he reaches out again—just to throw me even further into a tailspin. He actually had the nerve to tell me his girlfriend is pregnant; apparently, she got pregnant while we were still together. As if I’d even care about that little detail...

Just take a moment to reflect on the kind of person does this to someone. Honestly, focusing on that should help you finally start "cooling off" from him...

If you ask me, the guy is absolute trash...👎

The first thing I was taught growing up was simple: "Don't let them push you around!" Honestly, I just can't wrap my head around how someone can dislike themselves so much that they allow this kind of treatment. It’s genuinely baffling to me how people here can be so against themselves. Why work against your own interests? It is hard to reject negativity, sure, but it is much harder to sit there and take the hits—both the insults and the actual blows from others. I could never permit that for myself. It would drive me absolutely mad. Yet, you (and sorry, you admitted this yourself) are actively sabotaging your own progress. Just walk away from it. Cut ties, leave it behind, and move forward with your life. Your situation might feel like a total wreck right now, but your 😉
is yours alone.

Just get lost and stay away forever

Next time, perhaps you could simply tell him quite clearly that you have no interest in working with him anymore and would prefer he leave you in peace? If that total jerk doesn't take the hint, why not just ignore him entirely and stop responding to those messages, since someone like that really doesn't deserve even a moment of your attention? ☕

Honestly, if he sends you anything at all, just delete it immediately... I mean, wipe those texts right off your phone. If he tries calling, just hang up on him. Seriously, just cut him loose and walk away because the guy is a complete moron. If I were in your shoes, I’d probably be losing my mind over him. He's such an idiot...👎