Going solo...

So, here I am. After about two years, I’m back to being single... and honestly, I feel a little lost. I have way too much free time on my hands. There’s nobody to think about, nobody to dream about, and no one to pull me into a hug when I’m feeling down just to tell me everything will be okay and that they love me. There’s no one to grab popcorn with during a movie or to walk through downtown with, arm in arm. Everything I used to take for granted just vanished. My entire lifestyle has flipped upside down, and I’m genuinely at a loss for what comes next. Even though there are people interested in dating me, the idea of trying anything with them doesn't even cross my mind. I know deep down I haven't moved on from my ex yet, and jumping into something new would just feel exploitative. To be blunt, I miss him—not even as a boyfriend, but more as a best friend. He was the person I could talk to about absolutely anything. It kills me that he never reaches out anymore, but I also know if he did, he’d just end up leaving again, and he clearly doesn't want to do that. Besides, he has a girlfriend now; he's only with her for her money, whereas he was with me because he actually cared. It’s probably easier for him if he never hears from me again. I’m just wondering how to navigate this new reality. What do you do when the nostalgia hits hard and you just need someone by your side, but there's no one there?

Joshua Barnes2 said:[I’m wondering how I’m supposed to navigate this new way of life. What am I meant to do when the nostalgia hits hard, or when I just need someone by my side and there’s nobody there? [/B]

Go out with your girlfriends, find a hobby, do something for yourself... and just let time take its course.

Joshua Barnes2, there’s really no point in wallowing in this. Honestly, the fastest way to get over him is to put yourself back out there and meet someone new. Throw on something sexy, go out, and if you need to use someone to feel better, just do it—the priority is getting your spark back. Once you start feeling good about yourself again, new love will naturally find its way to you. You carry yourself like such a total knockout; it would be such a shame to see you let yourself go 😉 best

Joshua Barnes2 said:...anyway, he's got a girlfriend now—he's only with her for the money, but he was actually with me because he cared, so I guess it's easier for him if he just cuts me off completely.

And I'm Mickey Mouse. Honestly? You just have an ego problem.

As the old saying goes: there’s absolutely no sense in trying to move forward if you’re constantly staring over your shoulder at what you left behind.

Is it possible that... he just didn't truly care about me? Because if he actually did, we'd still be together right now...

Joshua Barnes2 said:Maybe I was just... he didn't really care about me... because if he did, he would've stayed.

Give me a break. Talk about a complete personality transplant and total maturity in under twenty minutes. My hat's off to you.🙏 👍

Look, it wasn't some grand moment of personal growth. It was just me finally being honest with myself about something I already knew deep down.🙂

Yeah, I get it. You spend days on end with someone, and it just becomes part of who you are. When you're down, there’s always someone there to pull you up. You soak up every bit of that closeness, but then one day, it’s all gone, and you’re left feeling more empty than you ever thought possible.
It happens.
As for me, I spend my days at the local coffee shop... every single day from 3:00 to 8:00 PM.
I still haven't found much purpose in it.

Joshua Barnes2 said:So, here I am, about a year or two down the road, back to being single again... and honestly? I feel a little lost. It’s that heavy feeling when you just want someone by your side, but there's nobody there...

Trust me, you aren't the only one dealing with this, unfortunately. 😢

Right now, your best bet for actual support is leaning on your friends.

Joshua Barnes2 said:So, here I am, about a year or two later, back to being single again... and honestly, I feel pretty lost. I’ve got way too much damn free time on my hands. No one to think about, no one to dream about, nobody to just hold me when I'm feeling low and tell me things are gonna be okay and that they love me. There's no one to watch movies with or just walk through town holding onto. Everything I was used to is just... gone. My whole life has flipped upside down and I genuinely have no clue what to do now. Even though there are people interested in me, the thought of even trying anything with them doesn't cross my mind. I know deep down I haven't moved on from my ex yet, and trying to date would just be using them. God, I miss him—and not even just as a boyfriend, but as a friend. Someone I could talk to about absolutely anything. It sucks so bad that he never reaches out anymore, but I know if he did, he'd just end up leaving again, and he clearly doesn't want to do that. Besides, he's got a girlfriend now. He's only with her for her money, whereas he was with me because he actually cared, so it's probably easier for him if he never hears from me again. I just wonder how I'm supposed to navigate this new life. What am I supposed to do when the nostalgia hits and I just need someone by my side, but there's nobody there...

Life stuff happens when it happens.
Clearly, it's just not your time to be sharing those sweet moments with anyone right now..
Maybe it's time you just hunkered down and focused on something else??
Love will show up when you aren't looking for it..

It sucks. There’s really nothing you can do about it right now. Like I’ve said on a few other threads, time is the only thing that actually heals everything. Besides time, though, lean on your friends, your family, find ways to decompress—even just throwing yourself into work or school can help.
Find something you actually love doing. Let all that sadness fuel your creativity. Just get busy, find joy in being alive, and appreciate the little things—whether it's the sunshine, a rainy day, a breeze, or just grabbing a coffee with your crew(☕)
Getting into a relationship is easy, but getting out of one? That's the hard part, regardless of who ended things. But you just have to hold onto the fact that this too shall pass. It keeps you going...
For me, even months after breaking up with my ex—and I don't mean just any ex, I mean "THE ONE"😢—I was still head over heels. I didn't want to meet anyone else. I felt like nobody could ever compare to her. And honestly, even after four or five different relationships, I still find myself thinking: nobody compares to her...
But look, I'm not in love with her anymore, and I moved on. I didn't "get over" her, because I don't think I ever will. My heart will always be open to friendship, but that’s where it ends....
Adam, honestly, the best medicine is just getting out on the town with your girlfriends. Relax, clear your head, enjoy yourself, and meet new people...
And if you need to grieve, don't hold it back. Cry it out, vent to the people you trust, and just let it out. Every single day is going to get a little bit easier...