What the hell is wrong with me?

Hey there, newbie here! I’ll try to keep this as short and simple as possible.

The situation is basically that I don't want to write this here (and honestly, I have nowhere else to go) unless it's really serious...

A quick bit about me—I'm 26, married, working, used to be a pretty decent athlete, and nowadays I still train Kickboxing recreationally, been doing it for 5 years. I'd say I'm a pretty popular guy and a good friend to both guys and girls. On the weekends, I'm usually out with my friends or my wife, maybe hitting the road for a little weekend trip somewhere in the States.

I consider myself a totally normal person who doesn't care much about what people think or their compliments, at least until it gets to the point that made me open this thread.

Here's an example—I wake up around 7:30, head to work, get home around 4:30. I eat, workout a bit, and then spend the evening with my wife. We go to bed around 10:00 or 10:30 PM and fall asleep normally. But then, let's say I wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom or grab a snack, and that's where the problem starts. In the dark, I see people—some strangers, some familiar faces, all kinds of "monsters"?? And with clothes, I often see things that look like animals and stuff. I have to admit, I can't even sleep on the couch by myself because besides seeing those things, the second I turn my back, I feel like something is right behind me. I get hit with this fear and panic, and there is seriously no way I can just ignore it and pretend it's not there. If anyone has seen the movie "The Sixth Sense," you know exactly what I'm talking about...

Sleeping itself is fine; I haven't had nightmares in months, so my actual sleep quality is perfectly okay.

Some people might think this is pointless or stupid, but this has been haunting me for years. I literally don't dare leave the bed when I wake up if all the lights aren't on, and I won't dare turn my back to the door if it's dark when I wake up... it's been like this since I was a kid. During the day and throughout the night until I actually lay down to sleep, everything is fine, but that fear just grabs me the moment I wake up in the pitch black...

What is happening to me, and why does this happen in the first place? How can I stop it, and what should I do? I'd rather avoid medication because I don't think I need it (at least, I hope I don't), but has anyone dealt with something similar or heard of someone else having this issue?

Thanks in advance...

Let’s get one thing straight here. Are you actually experiencing hallucinations, or are you just letting your imagination run wild—like when a kid sees a shadow on the wall and thinks it's a monster? If it's the latter, then you seriously need to deal with those underlying anxieties head-on. But if we're talking actual hallucinations, then stop stalling and go see a primary care physician immediately.

I’m on the same page as Andrew Doyle here—if you’re genuinely convinced you're seeing things that aren't there, you really should go see a doctor. I mean, it sounds extreme, but things like a brain tumor can actually cause hallucinations. That said, my gut feeling is that it isn't hallucinations per se, but rather an intensified fear of the dark. Since you mentioned this has been going on since you were a kid, it makes sense that a moment of intense fear could trigger a visual trick of the eye. When you're that spooked, it's almost impossible to stay objective and realize you're just spiraling into paranoia.

Personally, I've always been pretty comfortable in the dark, so it’s a little hard for me to wrap my head around such an intense phobia. It sounds like you had some pretty scary experiences back when you were younger that left a lasting mark, and now those old fears are resurfacing. You'll find plenty of people here who can offer great advice, but if this is just about these visual tricks caused by anxiety, I’d suggest being careful about jumping straight to medication. Try working through it with a professional therapist first to tackle the root of it.
Just stay strong—don't let this fear of the dark get the better of you. 👍

Andrew Doyle said:Let’s get one thing straight here. Are you actually experiencing hallucinations, or are you just letting your imagination run wild—like when a kid sees a shadow on the wall and thinks it's a monster? If it's the latter, then you seriously need to deal with those underlying anxieties head-on. But if we're talking actual hallucinations, then stop stalling and go see a primary care physician immediately.

It’s mostly just my imagination, but even that isn't the biggest issue... it's more like this constant fear of the dark. Honestly, 9 out of 10 times I don't even see anything at all. It’s more like I’m terrified that I *might* see something. That's how I try to make sense of it, though I don't know if there's any actual logic to it...

goldenbadger27 said:I’m on the same page as Andrew Doyle here—if you’re genuinely convinced you're seeing things that aren't there, you really should go see a doctor. I mean, it sounds extreme, but things like a brain tumor can actually cause hallucinations. That said, my gut feeling is that it isn't hallucinations per se, but rather an intensified fear of the dark. Since you mentioned this has been going on since you were a kid, it makes sense that a moment of intense fear could trigger a visual trick of the eye. When you're that spooked, it's almost impossible to stay objective and realize you're just spiraling into paranoia.

Personally, I've always been pretty comfortable in the dark, so it’s a little hard for me to wrap my head around such an intense phobia. It sounds like you had some pretty scary experiences back when you were younger that left a lasting mark, and now those old fears are resurfacing. You'll find plenty of people here who can offer great advice, but if this is just about these visual tricks caused by anxiety, I’d suggest being careful about jumping straight to medication. Try working through it with a professional therapist first to tackle the root of it.
Just stay strong—don't let this fear of the dark get the better of you. 👍

Exactly, it's mostly just the fear of the dark.

By professional help, do you mean a psychiatrist?

I was practically two years old when I went through exactly what you’re dealing with right now.
You aren't actually hallucinating, but you're panicking so intensely that everything starts to feel unreal. It's that hyper-vigilance where you're listening for every tiny creak or noise, convinced you heard something that isn't there.

If I had to put a label on it, I'd call it a phobia or severe anxiety. Honestly, go see a psychiatrist and get a professional opinion; they might be able to prescribe something to help settle your nerves and finally let you get some sleep.

I wanted to ask you one more thing,
are you even capable of watching horror movies?

Honestly, I think we’ve all dealt with that kind of fear at some point—it's just that most of us manage to outgrow it as we get older. When I was younger, I used to experience something very similar to what you're going through; you just imagine there's someone or something lurking in the shadows, and you can't shake the feeling. You end up rushing to flip the light switch or something, but in your case, it sounds like you don't even dare to get out of bed.

I really feel like you can tackle this on your own by forcing yourself to get up in the middle of the night and walk through the dark to the bathroom or whatever. It helps to remind yourself that it's all happening inside your head—you aren't crazy, it's just that the human brain is incredibly complex and prone to playing tricks on us. I was probably just like you once; I'd imagine all sorts of things right after turning off the lights, and it was honestly so frustrating. Later on, when I started high school, I lived out in a rural area where the bus routes were pretty much non-existent, so I had to ride my bike everywhere. You can probably imagine how terrifying my first 35-minute ride in pitch-black darkness was, especially since there wasn't a single streetlamp for miles 😂

But eventually, you just get used to the dark and everything else. These days, I bike to my university classes—it takes about 40 minutes total, including a short 10-minute stretch where there are absolutely no streetlights, no houses, nothing. Funny enough, I've actually realized that I feel more comfortable in that total darkness because nobody can see me (I have to ride past a certain neighborhood that can be a bit sketchy).
And when thick fog rolls in and you're basically riding on pure instinct, it doesn't even bother me anymore, as long as they can't see me.
The most important thing is finding a coping mechanism. For me, music was the game-changer. I’d put on my headphones, and now I actually look forward to the end of my lectures just so I can have those 40 minutes of complete peace and quiet.

I’d definitely recommend talking to a therapist or a psychiatrist if you can, because the recovery process is usually much faster that way. Plus, it might help you figure out why this hasn't faded away naturally with age like it does for most people. It could give you tools to better control your thoughts over time. All in all, please don't bottle this up—we all have our fears, they just hit everyone differently.
Try involving your partner in this, too. You two can brainstorm ways to help you face the fear together. Whatever you do, try not to avoid the dark entirely. There was this woman I heard about who was deathly afraid of deep water; her family decided to help her face it by taking a boat several miles offshore and having her jump straight into the ocean 😁 It sounds pretty intense, but it worked because she had to confront the fear instantly. She felt calmer, though, because she knew her family was right there with her and would jump in if she started to struggle. So, in the beginning, it always helps to have someone by your side until you feel confident enough to go solo. It's really up to you whether you want to go for a "sink or swim" approach like her or take it one small step at a time.

On a side note, I'm a big fan of military history and documentaries, so I'll leave you with this motivational video 😉
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwaskivJrZE
Stay strong. 👍

Look, don't sweat it. Based on the description, we're talking illusions here—just a glitch in how you're perceiving things. Nothing worth worrying about. 😉

Maybe it’d be better if you actually dug into where this fear of the dark is coming from in the first place.
Good luck! 😉

Hannah Doyle91 said:I was practically two years old when I went through exactly what you’re dealing with right now.
You aren't actually hallucinating, but you're panicking so intensely that everything starts to feel unreal. It's that hyper-vigilance where you're listening for every tiny creak or noise, convinced you heard something that isn't there.

If I had to put a label on it, I'd call it a phobia or severe anxiety. Honestly, go see a psychiatrist and get a professional opinion; they might be able to prescribe something to help settle your nerves and finally let you get some sleep.

I wanted to ask you one more thing,
are you even capable of watching horror movies?

That’s how it feels for me too—just pure panic even though there's zero reason for it. On the outside, I look totally chill, like nothing is bothering me, but on the inside, I'm absolutely freaking out...😁

Yeah, I can watch horror movies just fine as long as I'm not alone. When I'm by myself, I hate them because I constantly feel like someone is watching me or sitting right next to me. Every single second I'm just waiting for something to happen, even though my brain knows it won't.

goldenbadger27 said:Honestly, I think we’ve all dealt with that kind of fear at some point—it's just that most of us manage to outgrow it as we get older. When I was younger, I used to experience something very similar to what you're going through; you just imagine there's someone or something lurking in the shadows, and you can't shake the feeling. You end up rushing to flip the light switch or something, but in your case, it sounds like you don't even dare to get out of bed.

I really feel like you can tackle this on your own by forcing yourself to get up in the middle of the night and walk through the dark to the bathroom or whatever. It helps to remind yourself that it's all happening inside your head—you aren't crazy, it's just that the human brain is incredibly complex and prone to playing tricks on us. I was probably just like you once; I'd imagine all sorts of things right after turning off the lights, and it was honestly so frustrating. Later on, when I started high school, I lived out in a rural area where the bus routes were pretty much non-existent, so I had to ride my bike everywhere. You can probably imagine how terrifying my first 35-minute ride in pitch-black darkness was, especially since there wasn't a single streetlamp for miles 😂

But eventually, you just get used to the dark and everything else. These days, I bike to my university classes—it takes about 40 minutes total, including a short 10-minute stretch where there are absolutely no streetlights, no houses, nothing. Funny enough, I've actually realized that I feel more comfortable in that total darkness because nobody can see me (I have to ride past a certain neighborhood that can be a bit sketchy).
And when thick fog rolls in and you're basically riding on pure instinct, it doesn't even bother me anymore, as long as they can't see me.
The most important thing is finding a coping mechanism. For me, music was the game-changer. I’d put on my headphones, and now I actually look forward to the end of my lectures just so I can have those 40 minutes of complete peace and quiet.

I’d definitely recommend talking to a therapist or a psychiatrist if you can, because the recovery process is usually much faster that way. Plus, it might help you figure out why this hasn't faded away naturally with age like it does for most people. It could give you tools to better control your thoughts over time. All in all, please don't bottle this up—we all have our fears, they just hit everyone differently.
Try involving your partner in this, too. You two can brainstorm ways to help you face the fear together. Whatever you do, try not to avoid the dark entirely. There was this woman I heard about who was deathly afraid of deep water; her family decided to help her face it by taking a boat several miles offshore and having her jump straight into the ocean 😁 It sounds pretty intense, but it worked because she had to confront the fear instantly. She felt calmer, though, because she knew her family was right there with her and would jump in if she started to struggle. So, in the beginning, it always helps to have someone by your side until you feel confident enough to go solo. It's really up to you whether you want to go for a "sink or swim" approach like her or take it one small step at a time.

On a side note, I'm a big fan of military history and documentaries, so I'll leave you with this motivational video 😉
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwaskivJrZE
Stay strong. 👍

To be honest, I’ve been carrying this fear since I was a little kid... I’m gonna give what you suggested a shot, who knows, maybe it’ll actually work, though I have my doubts

Charles Patel said:Look, don't sweat it. Based on the description, we're talking illusions here—just a glitch in how you're perceiving things. Nothing worth worrying about. 😉

Maybe it’d be better if you actually dug into where this fear of the dark is coming from in the first place.
Good luck! 😉

I also feel like the illusions and the fear are mostly made up...

I wouldn't even know how to deal with that bolded part, though; I've had it for forever and I have zero clue how it even started... just a total short circuit in my brain 🤣

Thanks, everyone

I sometimes feel a bit uneasy in the dark too, as I start thinking about characters from horror movies 😂 even though I absolutely love the genre. 🤣 In those moments, I try to remind myself that they're just actors playing monsters, or maybe I just try to picture something pleasant instead 😬

I deal with pretty much the same stuff, and honestly, it’s just standard anxiety.

Like, I couldn't even sit in a restaurant without my back to the door.
Or if I was sleeping alone, I couldn't handle facing the wall.

You eventually get used to it, but don't expect it to just vanish overnight. Even now, every once in a while, I'll turn toward the wall and some random stupid movie scene will pop into my head, and I won't be able to sleep until I flip over to the other side because of the creeps. But seriously, that's a super rare thing for me now.🙂