What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

And another thing... stick to low-fat dairy, but don't go overboard—keep it under half a liter a day total.
Avoid anything fried or breaded.
Cornbread is a massive trap if you aren't careful.
Then there's fruit.🙂
During my last pregnancy, I was gaining weight like crazy, so I went on a strict diet from week 25 through week 36 (though I ended up looking a bit haggard myself). During that stretch, I didn't gain a single pound; in fact, I actually lost two.🙂
Now, regarding fruit—figs, watermelon, bananas... they're a total sugar bomb.
Look, I get it, you’re going to eat things. During my last pregnancy, I thought, "Well, I'm pregnant now, so I might as well start eating breakfast," and I started slamming Cocoa Puffs every morning for breakfast. Good grief...

The best bets are apples or pears.

But we all know life isn't that simple.

If you're going to indulge in the bad stuff, at least watch your portions.

Oh my god
How many years am I looking at if I take out my husband? If it’s not too much, I might actually start planning the method. FINALLY the guy would be gone—God, between him and this stupid closet, I am losing my mind. Seriously, screw that closet too!!!
😠 😠 😠 😠 😠

My stupid gin is taking forever. I'm sitting here with five other people just waiting, and this guy starts rambling with some pharma rep about the state of the country... As if I wasn't losing my mind already, now I'm even crazier!!

Lately, my lower back and glutes have been absolutely killing me—it’s getting to the point where every two or three days the pain hits so hard that my left leg just gives out on me. It’s honestly exhausting. I end up practically forcing my husband to give me a massage, and then I’ll just spend the whole day lying around trying to recover, but as soon as I get back to my usual routine—standing for most of the day and juggling a million different tasks—the pain just shoots right back in. It feels like this endless, frustrating cycle that I can't seem to break.

Bryan Diaz said:Lately, my lower back and glutes have been absolutely killing me—it’s getting to the point where every two or three days the pain hits so hard that my left leg just gives out on me. It’s honestly exhausting. I end up practically forcing my husband to give me a massage, and then I’ll just spend the whole day lying around trying to recover, but as soon as I get back to my usual routine—standing for most of the day and juggling a million different tasks—the pain just shoots right back in. It feels like this endless, frustrating cycle that I can't seem to break.

I deal with this too... sometimes my leg even goes numb.
But I won't let my husband massage me because that always leads to sex... and I'm just not in the mood for that.😂

Honestly, being pregnant makes work feel so much more draining than usual... There’s an endless mountain of tasks, but I just don't have the energy for it anymore. I find myself daydreaming constantly about when I can finally head out on maternity leave and get some actual rest, which is exactly what a pregnant woman should be doing. The day before yesterday, I was pulling a 12-hour shift from 8 to 8, and then yesterday it was "only" 9 to 7. Then I wake up this morning, hoping to just enjoy a quiet cup of coffee and scroll through my phone, only to see 11 unread emails from both of my managers asking for updates on things I haven't even had a chance to touch yet. 😳 I mean, seriously, what do they think? Do they imagine that those few extra hours I'm awake at night are spent glued to a computer instead of, say, spending at least a decent thirty minutes with my little one after dinner is done? Part of me just wants to switch to a strict 9-to-5 schedule and tell them if I don't get to it, I simply don't get to it. Let them...

To top it all off, the other night around 7 PM, my husband calls me to say he's finished for the day and heading home—and asks where I am. I told him, "I'm still at the office." Then he goes, "Is there anything to eat at home?" And I'm like, "I don't know, I'm at work!!!" But apparently, he was feeling pretty helpful, because by the time I actually made it through the door, he had already whipped up dinner for us. 😍

I could honestly lose it on my sister-in-law, but whatever, I'm just totally over this whole mess.

Every single day when I'm whipping up lunch for my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law’s kids (who live right next door) just barge in here to eat. (When I’m cooking specifically for my husband, they don't even dare show their faces because he can't stand it.)
It drives me absolutely insane. Like, seriously, why can't their own mom just cook them something?! Is she actually too incompetent to feed her own damn children?! 😠
I try being sneaky and only making enough for one massive portion, hoping they won't show up every single day, especially since their mom is literally right there at home.
The absolute worst part is how they act all sneaky, peeking through the kitchen window just to see what I'm cooking.
Of course, they aren't interested in just anything—they only want the good stuff. They won't touch bread unless it's that expensive artisanal seed bread or cornmeal stuff I pick up.
And then my husband wonders why we spend so much on groceries, and it's because we're basically feeding his brother's kids.
Or like, if I make a salad with tomatoes and cucumbers, those little monsters inhale it like pigs just so they don't have to share with their grandma or me, and then it's always, "Is there more? Can I have more?"
If I'm making basic bean soup, suddenly they don't want any, but if I make something decent like today—cheese and ham stuffed burgers—then suddenly they're all over us. It drives me nuts. I know they're just kids, but there's a limit. Does their mother have nothing going on in that head of hers?! It's so easy for her to just let me feed her kids while she sits back and does nothing.
The most infuriating thing is that I can't even eat a meal without someone staring holes into my plate. (Yeah, I'm talking about those kids.)
They're at daycare or school from like 8 AM until 3 or 4 PM, getting breakfast, lunch, and snacks there. I mean, seriously, how is their mother unable to feed them for the rest of the day?

On top of that, my husband's brother has four kids who are constantly leaving a disaster zone in our house, and then my pregnant sister-in-law is the one expected to clean it up. Honestly, they should all just go to Target or something and leave us alone. 😠
It's so easy to just spoil kids, and then everyone else has to deal with the fallout.
And I have never once heard a "thank you" from the parents. For example, my husband bought their kids a computer, and nobody even asked how much it cost, let alone said thanks. Naturally, the kids spent two days straight glued to the screen (which kind of parent even allows that?!) and broke it immediately. Then the parents acted like it had nothing to do with them. At this rate, my husband might as well pay to fix it too.

Oh my gosh, Re nata—I honestly think I’d have a total nervous breakdown if I were in your shoes... there really isn't any other way to handle this than just locking the door and staying inside, or maybe having your husband sit them down for a serious heart-to-heart...

The door is unlocked. And those heavy curtains? Total joke. Honestly, if I were in her shoes, I’d be losing my mind too. You can't deal with people like that any other way. Besides, I'd probably find a way to slip something through that narrow gap just to mess with her...

re nata - I totally get where you're coming from... honestly, I’d be losing my mind too. It’s one thing to come over for lunch once in a blue moon, but 😲 prepping full meals every single day while they’re supposed to be at school or daycare is just too much. Especially when you know you'll end up stuck making a huge pot of chili just to have them turn the house upside down immediately after. You really need to sit them down and explain that this is your house, and they follow your rules here. You have to set those boundaries now, otherwise, it’s just going to escalate into worse stuff—like them grabbing money or things from you without asking. I dealt with a situation almost identical to yours once.

Regarding the cooking situation, they’re always hanging around the house whenever my mother-in-law gets off work...
And as for me setting any kind of boundaries, look... I’ve been a daughter-in-law in this house for less than a year, and if Grandma says it’s fine, I can't exactly go around constantly picking on them, right?

Then there's the whole thing about people just grabbing stuff. Like, this past Saturday, I bought some flavored water, took a couple of sips, and left it sitting on the kitchen table. I stepped away for five minutes, and when I came back, one of them had already finished half of it (the oldest is 9 years old, so he should have at least a shred of common sense by now) and then actually had the nerve to ask me where I bought it because it was so good. WTF?!
We never even keep sweets in the house when guests come over, and I don't even need to explain why.

What really pisses me off is...
We have this one room that we keep spotless specifically for when people visit, and then my mother-in-law goes and puts candy out on the table right in that room—and I don't even have to say it, but that room isn't even clean!
Back at their place, that "special room" is kept under lock and key.
My husband has told them a thousand times that they aren't allowed in that room, but it lasts for a couple of days and then it's back to the same old crap. I am losing my mind.

And don't even get me started on 😠 how when we have guests over, they show up at our place too, looking totally disheveled, wearing ragged clothes and whatever. It’s so embarrassing for me because they look like total slobs, though I'm sure their mom doesn't care. It drives me crazy. Then they just barge in and sit down at the table, and imagine having four more hungry mouths to feed on top of that... Of course, when we invite someone over for a nice meal, I have to cook and prep everything, and then they turn out to be picky eaters again. My husband sort of handled that part, but I honestly wonder how long this is going to last.
I mean, if they're kids, their parents should at least have enough brains for them.

Once I give birth, things are going to have to change. I am not dealing with all the screaming and chaos in this house. I know my husband won't allow it either; he's fed up with them always being here, but since he's almost never home because he works so much, he can't do much... but he did say that once the baby arrives, there is zero chance they'll be hovering around us. He's not letting them create a mess in two different houses.
Every single time they start whining or making a scene, I'm just going to grab the baby and head over to my parents' place (thank God they live less than a five-minute drive away). My mother-in-law can get as mad as she wants, but if she has any sense, she'll realize why I'm leaving.
The worst part is when she asks me, "Oh, are you going to look after our Peter?" (that's what my son will be named). There is absolutely no way I'm handing him over. He won't be near them without me. They are constantly sick, sneezing, coughing—I don't want anyone near my little angel. Plus, they'll probably be jealous, who knows what they'd do to him.

Speaking of colds, they spent the entire winter hanging around our place, sniffing and acting sick.
I mean, WTF?! Did their parents not realize there was a pregnant woman in the house? And then the oldest one is constantly coughing right in my face (again, he's in 2nd grade, he should know better). Not only does he not cover his mouth, but he's literally coughing directly at me.
And while we're talking about his stupidity, one time he took a pencil and stabbed it into some snacks—like those little crackers or fish-shaped chips—and of course, I didn't realize until I was already eating them. I was absolutely livid when I found out. What the hell is wrong with him? He definitely wouldn't do that at their house because they don't even have snacks there, and if they did, he'd eat them in five minutes. I think the lead in a pencil is made of something metallic and toxic. Basically, he put "poison" in our food.

P.S. Sorry for the long vent, but once I start feeling these emotions, I just can't stop typing.

neonsurfer32, just a heads-up: don't wait until you're heavily pregnant to start dealing with this... kick them out every single time they start acting like idiots. Sit down with your mother-in-law, keep it calm, and make it clear that whether you've been here two weeks or two years, you’re a full member of this family and you have a right to some peace. Tell her she can go visit the grandkids at her daughter-in-law's place instead... and that's it.
The longer you put this off, the worse it's going to get for you. Deal with it... now.

Look, re_nata, 🙂 if I were in your shoes... honestly, I’d probably just cut ties with everyone. I get it—being a daughter-in-law is a rough gig, and maybe your husband needs to step up more, though I know he’s likely caught in the middle and feeling the heat too. But seriously, I don't see any other way out than to stand your ground, show some backbone, and just distance yourself from people like that.

Ever since I got pregnant, my husband’s aunt has been constantly hovering over us—just this super annoying, high-maintenance old lady that nobody in the family actually likes, even though she's got a whole house full of kids and grandkids. She’d show up all sniffly and "under the weather" just to gossip about everyone... and man, it drove me absolutely insane. Since the moment I moved into our place, I’ve made a rule: when the doorbell rings, I’m just not opening it. 😁
If someone actually needs me, they can hit my cell. She’s probably tapped on the window a hundred times by now, but I don't give a damn, I'm not opening up. 😁
Whenever my husband is home, he just tells her I’m napping or that I’m out running errands, so she usually takes the hint and clears out pretty fast. 😉

I honestly cannot believe what some people are willing to tolerate these days—and the fact that you’re the one feeling frustrated or embarrassed by it? That's the real kicker. Honestly, instead of taking all this stress on yourself, why not just let them deal with their own shame?

Michelle Nelson4
Why don't you just start locking the kitchen if you're the only one doing the cooking? Or maybe even that "tidy" study of yours?
If the grandkids want to play, they can go to Grandma's room. Or head out to the backyard. The kitchen and the living room aren't playgrounds.
When it comes to lunch, just make enough for the three of you. Bring a plate over to your mother-in-law, then lock yourselves in the kitchen and wait until evening so you can all enjoy a peaceful meal together.
You really need to start organizing your life this way right now. If you spend your time making threats or daydreaming that things will magically change once you have a baby, you’re going to end up with nothing. They don't care that you've given birth and have a little one, just like they don't care that you're pregnant right now. Their parents won't see it as a valid reason anyway; honestly, your sister-in-law went through pregnancy and had a newborn while dealing with one, two, three sick, loud, messy, and sniffly kids, so they won't show any more empathy later than they are now (and clearly, they don't care—unfortunately, there are plenty of irresponsible parents out there who struggle to actually parent their own children).

PS — the fact that they want an extra meal despite already having four meals at daycare or school is perfectly normal and common. But that doesn't give them a pass to be rude or mean-spirited, and based on what you're saying, the oldest one certainly is. Sadly, he's setting a bad example for the younger ones, who will almost certainly follow his lead...

Ronald Williams9
What an absolute disaster....
Look, my mother-in-law is great, and my brother-in-law doesn't even have a family of his own... they're actually decent people...

But the real question is how on earth would it work if we were living under the same roof or right next door to one another?........

This is living proof that sharing a household just isn't natural or even advisable. A young couple needs their peace and quiet.......(though obviously, if you don't have a choice, you're stuck)
But this situation is just nightmare fuel.
The issue here is that things will always be that way. You won't even be able to buy your kid a candy bar without having to dodge the judgment of your brother-in-law's crew......
Personally, I would lose my mind......

This constant belly itching is driving me crazy 😠😠😠
I spent two hours tossing and turning in bed last night because I just couldn't drift off with that itch— 🤷 I've never dealt with anything like this before... ugh

Alright, time to vent about what went down yesterday.

All four of them were over at our place. Same old story...
So, we have this one "official" room with a display cabinet, right? We had this chocolate sitting in there meant for my daughter—a wedding gift from her godparents. Yesterday, we head toward that room, I check the cabinet, and boom, the chocolate is gone. (The second I stepped foot in that room, the oldest one bolted out the door, claiming he suddenly remembered something he had to do at home.) Anyway, I ask MM if he moved it, he says no, and then we realize the oldest kid totally swiped it.
I don't even know, but the others let it slip that he was hiding some red Lindt bar under his bed, claiming he "got it" from a buddy at school. To make matters worse, he wouldn't even share a single square with them...

Basically, MM lost it. He declared that from now on, that room is getting a lock. He told me—already while we were driving in the car—that until our little one is born, we’re drawing a hard line in the sand. No more freebies. I suggested maybe we should ease into these new rules, but he wasn't having it. He said the shift happens overnight. Some things just need to be understood once and for all...

As for my mother-in-law, she’s honestly amazing. Any daughter-in-law would kill for her, but man, when she gets obsessed with those grandkids, I can't even blame her. If I plate up a steak and some potatoes for her, she’ll barely touch half of it before calling everyone else to see if they want some. I don't even know what to say to her at this point...

Look, I get that it's normal for kids to come home starving from preschool and need to eat, but they have a mother for a reason. My kids sure as hell aren't going to start raiding the neighbor's house every time they get hungry.

It’s honestly so frustrating:
Another day, another commute on the subway. And once again, I’m getting those judgmental looks because I’m sitting down. Apparently, being young means you should always be standing. 🙂 🙂 😢
Plus, there's the swelling—my poor legs just can't take much more of this. 🙂

Steven Barrett6, reading this makes my skin crawl. Honestly, I’ve gotta hand it to you—your patience and tolerance levels are insane. If it were me, I would’ve lost it a long time ago. I’d have already heard all that "concerned mother" nonsense: *I’m pregnant, so keep your runny nose and germs far away from me; kids are exhausting and poorly behaved, so finish raising them before you even think about visiting; you gave birth to them, so you deal with them (and seriously, what do you even do all day?!).* Just let people think whatever they want. It's simple: people like that will drain you of every last bit of energy, willpower, and cash you have if you just let them. And don't bother being nice—they won't get it. They're rude, selfish, and frankly, dim. You’ll end up looking like the villain, sure... but who cares what they think? It’s about WHO is doing the thinking, right? Why give their opinions any weight anyway?!

@Jeremy Thomas5, what, you haven't heard the rule that if you're young, you're legally forbidden from being tired? 🤣