What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Here I am again, circling back to the exact same argument about dogs! Honestly, you're being completely unreasonable—complaining about shedding, allergies, and all that other nonsense... You have to get out and move, which means daily walks. And heaven forbid you actually sit down to enjoy a cup of coffee!!!! Blah blah blah...
I'm giving the dog away... But you better be ready to hand him back in a few years once the kid is grown up.😁

Paul Doyle3 said:Right? It’s like it suddenly became shameful to work as much as possible instead of the other way around! I’ve actually had people judge me for wanting to power through my work right up until maternity leave, assuming everything goes smoothly. I totally feel for women dealing with actual medical complications or those in jobs that just aren't safe for pregnancy—that kind of judgment is totally misplaced. But honestly, why shouldn't I work while I can? Sure, I've got my moments where I'm feeling achy, or the baby starts kicking and I lose focus, or I'm tossing and turning at night, but I'm still in the zone! Why stop now?

I don't know, I can't really get behind that.

You never actually know why someone is taking leave. I know you used the phrase "for no reason," but what seems trivial to you might be a massive issue for someone else—whether it's physical stuff or mental health stuff.

I guess I'll just leave it up to pregnant women to decide what they want to do and when, or if they even want to take leave at all.

Paul Doyle3 regarding pregnancy precautions... I walked out immediately
with 6 weeks on the clock
After losing a baby before, dealing with hypothyroidism and Hashimoto, and having a job where I pull 13-hour shifts—where breaks don't actually exist on paper—it just wasn't doable. During those 13 hours, I'm completely on my own; there's nobody to step in if I need a quick bathroom break, let alone a moment to eat. And eating while you work? Strictly forbidden. So, you're stuck working 13 hours straight
while feeling like someone could jump me, rob me, or worse at any second—not to mention how often we had to call the police, sometimes even daily. It might sound like an exaggeration, but it's certainly not for my colleague, who was waited on by some unstable guy from work after her shift ended and beaten up simply because she didn't say "good day" to him that morning—which he later admitted in court.
There is absolutely no way anyone should be working under those conditions for minimum wage, especially when you're pulling six days a week—Fridays, Saturdays, everything.

If I were working a standard 9-to-5 office job with weekends off, I wouldn't even be considering high-risk complications in the first place.
Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to earn some average American salary of $55,000 or whatever. There are plenty of us stuck in terrible jobs with even worse bosses, and that's something people really need to keep in mind...

Arthur Thompson11 said:Here I am again, circling back to the exact same argument about dogs! Honestly, you're being completely unreasonable—complaining about shedding, allergies, and all that other nonsense... You have to get out and move, which means daily walks. And heaven forbid you actually sit down to enjoy a cup of coffee!!!! Blah blah blah...
I'm giving the dog away... But you better be ready to hand him back in a few years once the kid is grown up.😁

Oh, absolutely, yes, please!!!! I am just dying to read comments like this one. Especially since we live with two dogs, one of which is a Staffy... I guess our kid is just going to be assassinated the second we pull into the driveway. Honestly, I’m surprised we’ve even survived this long.🙄🙄

George Bishop72under those circumstances, taking maternity leave is perfectly reasonable. Once a job starts presenting actual risks, there’s really no debate about whether you need to step away.

On a different note, I deal with a similar health situation—hypothyroidism, which can be quite spontaneous—but my role is entirely sedentary and office-based. For now, I can manage just fine. However, I suspect I might have to transition to leave once allergy season hits this spring. I honestly don't know how I'll handle it; I'll likely have to retreat indoors and invest in some serious air conditioning. I need to sit down with my doctor to discuss the logistics and plan ahead. Part of me is almost looking forward to a late spring snowstorm, just so the allergies don't kick in until after I've made it through the first quarter.

Paul Doyle3 said:Right? It’s like it suddenly became shameful to work as much as possible instead of the other way around! I’ve actually had people judge me for wanting to power through my work right up until maternity leave, assuming everything goes smoothly. I totally feel for women dealing with actual medical complications or those in jobs that just aren't safe for pregnancy—that kind of judgment is totally misplaced. But honestly, why shouldn't I work while I can? Sure, I've got my moments where I'm feeling achy, or the baby starts kicking and I lose focus, or I'm tossing and turning at night, but I'm still in the zone! Why stop now?

I caught myself actually trying to justify my actions to people. I was sitting there "calming them down," promising that I’d only be at it for a little while longer just so those poor souls wouldn't get too worked up. Honestly? I was being an idiot. 🙂

rowdyjackal12 said:I don't know, I can't really get behind that.

You never actually know why someone is taking leave. I know you used the phrase "for no reason," but what seems trivial to you might be a massive issue for someone else—whether it's physical stuff or mental health stuff.

I guess I'll just leave it up to pregnant women to decide what they want to do and when, or if they even want to take leave at all.

He wasn't aiming that quote at me, but I'll weigh in anyway—you never truly know why someone decides to take medical leave. I was already telling people halfway through my pregnancy that I’d be heading out on maternity leave the second I saw a positive test. Honestly, I'm surrounded by absolute idiots at work, and I'd easily justify leaving based on the mental toll they take on me. 🤣 Work is a mixed bag. Some days are great, others are absolute trash. When you’re dealing with people all day, things are bound to get messy, and that comment I made happened during a total meltdown at the office. I get why some women take maternity leave—sometimes the physical or mental toll is just too much. But let's be real: there are plenty of women who use pregnancy as a convenient excuse to extend their vacation. I know a few people where the pay cut isn't even that significant compared to what they’d get on leave, so staying home just seems easier. Then there's the woman whose husband makes bank, so she couldn't care less about the paycheck. For me, the difference in income actually matters. It’s not nothing. And honestly, it really bugs me when my coworkers act shocked that I’m still working. They make me feel like I'm doing something wrong just by showing up.

edit: George Bishop72 I’d go for the surgery if I were you, honestly. But look, I work an office job and I have my weekends free, so I just don't get why your coworkers are giving you such a hard time about this.

Arthur Thompson11 said:Here I am again, circling back to the exact same argument about dogs! Honestly, you're being completely unreasonable—complaining about shedding, allergies, and all that other nonsense... You have to get out and move, which means daily walks. And heaven forbid you actually sit down to enjoy a cup of coffee!!!! Blah blah blah...
I'm giving the dog away... But you better be ready to hand him back in a few years once the kid is grown up.😁

We have two dogs. Back when we were living in an apartment, people kept hounding me with questions about what we’d do with the dogs once the baby arrived. They’d bring up the hair, the allergies, the muddy paws—all that stuff. I just told them I hope my kid doesn't end up being super hairy, because if they do, the dogs won't mind the extra fur. A few times, someone actually went as far as saying that if the dogs aren't allergic to the baby, they might let us keep her. As for the messy little troublemaker, I told them I can't wait until the baby starts crawling so I can strap a cleaning rag to their knees. That way, while they're cruising around the floor, they can wipe the tiles for me since I'm too lazy to do it myself. I had a few more things to say, and then the whole group just shut up. ☕
We finally moved into the house, and the crew decided they were done "helping." Like they think I’m just going to leave the noise outside in the yard. Instead, here they are, snoring right next to my feet.

I completely get where women are coming from—whether they want to stay in the workforce or step back—and I truly believe every woman should have the autonomy to decide what’s best for her own life. But let's be practical here: if you're pulling in $8,000 or $9,000 a month, it doesn't exactly make financial sense to risk the complications of an early exit just because you're feeling burnt out, only to end up settling for some meager disability payout or a fraction of your salary...
In my personal experience, it hasn't even made a dent in my finances; the math essentially evens out anyway.

My plan for the next trimester is to transition into an office role and try to keep working right up until about 45 days before my due date.😁

I was reading all that whining above about belly rubs and kissing them. It actually reminded me of when I finally met my boyfriend’s aunt the other day—first time meeting her, ever. I went in for a handshake, she accepted, and then out of nowhere, she drops a kiss right on my stomach. 🤣 It didn't exactly make me lose my cool, but I was definitely caught off guard. 🤣

I honestly just love giving pregnant women a little extra affection... 😍

It’s all very sweet, really—the baby bumps and all that—but there’s a fundamental question that needs to be asked first: am I actually allowed to?
Touching someone without permission is a no-go. In my house, that’s reserved for my husband or, eventually, my parents.
But if I’m not close enough to someone to give them a hug when we say hello, then there is absolutely no reason to be reaching out and touching their stomach.

rowdyjackal12 said:I don't know, I can't really get behind that.

You never actually know why someone is taking leave. I know you used the phrase "for no reason," but what seems trivial to you might be a massive issue for someone else—whether it's physical stuff or mental health stuff.

I guess I'll just leave it up to pregnant women to decide what they want to do and when, or if they even want to take leave at all.

George Bishop72 said:Paul Doyle3 regarding pregnancy precautions... I walked out immediately
with 6 weeks on the clock
After losing a baby before, dealing with hypothyroidism and Hashimoto, and having a job where I pull 13-hour shifts—where breaks don't actually exist on paper—it just wasn't doable. During those 13 hours, I'm completely on my own; there's nobody to step in if I need a quick bathroom break, let alone a moment to eat. And eating while you work? Strictly forbidden. So, you're stuck working 13 hours straight
while feeling like someone could jump me, rob me, or worse at any second—not to mention how often we had to call the police, sometimes even daily. It might sound like an exaggeration, but it's certainly not for my colleague, who was waited on by some unstable guy from work after her shift ended and beaten up simply because she didn't say "good day" to him that morning—which he later admitted in court.
There is absolutely no way anyone should be working under those conditions for minimum wage, especially when you're pulling six days a week—Fridays, Saturdays, everything.

If I were working a standard 9-to-5 office job with weekends off, I wouldn't even be considering high-risk complications in the first place.
Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to earn some average American salary of $55,000 or whatever. There are plenty of us stuck in terrible jobs with even worse bosses, and that's something people really need to keep in mind...

I'm pretty sure I already said this, but look—I have absolutely nothing against someone taking leave if they have a legitimate reason, like past pregnancy complications, issues with their current pregnancy, or even just an unsafe work environment. But you've gotta be upfront about that! What I can't get behind is people claiming medical complications just because they're pregnant and simply don't feel like showing up to work. Does that make sense?

Honestly, there’s no place like home! Sure, my coworkers can be a total pain sometimes, and I get those lazy days or deal with pregnancy stuff like insomnia, but that’s no excuse to skip work. I’ve pushed through nausea and aches before and still managed to get things done. It’s not even about how much I’m making—it’s just about being able to show up and do my job!

So, when I said some women head to the ER for no reason, I meant it! Like, if someone tells me they’re checking into the hospital just because they're feeling a bit tired or having some digestive issues, honestly? It feels wrong. Doesn't it just create unnecessary chaos for the women who actually *need* urgent care and whose doctors might struggle to give them the immediate attention they deserve?

Paul Doyle3 said:I'm pretty sure I already said this, but look—I have absolutely nothing against someone taking leave if they have a legitimate reason, like past pregnancy complications, issues with their current pregnancy, or even just an unsafe work environment. But you've gotta be upfront about that! What I can't get behind is people claiming medical complications just because they're pregnant and simply don't feel like showing up to work. Does that make sense?

Honestly, there’s no place like home! Sure, my coworkers can be a total pain sometimes, and I get those lazy days or deal with pregnancy stuff like insomnia, but that’s no excuse to skip work. I’ve pushed through nausea and aches before and still managed to get things done. It’s not even about how much I’m making—it’s just about being able to show up and do my job!

So, when I said some women head to the ER for no reason, I meant it! Like, if someone tells me they’re checking into the hospital just because they're feeling a bit tired or having some digestive issues, honestly? It feels wrong. Doesn't it just create unnecessary chaos for the women who actually *need* urgent care and whose doctors might struggle to give them the immediate attention they deserve?

So, someone gets put on high-risk status just because their stomach hurts?
I guess I've never heard of that happening.

Doctors hand out those medical excuses whenever they feel like it—sometimes when it's necessary, sometimes when it isn't. It's not even about the patient, really; it's just about the OBGYN and whatever mood they're in that day. ☕
Do you really think "legit" patients would get better care if the others stopped demanding benefits they don't actually deserve?
I think not.

I really can't afford to deal with any complications right now. I had a bit of a rough start with this pregnancy, but since I just landed this job and things weren't too hectic during the summer months, I was able to just take a week of sick leave and call it a day.
To give you some context, my role involves doing site measurements and drafting bids for a construction firm. I’m often out in the field for several hours at a time. Usually, I handle it just fine, but lately, everything has felt much more taxing.
Sure, it's hot right now, but there are days on the job where I feel absolutely frozen. On top of that, I've been struggling with insomnia, which just fuels my anxiety... I haven't slept properly in a week, and I can't help but wonder how I'll manage once I hit the third trimester.
Honestly, even just a few days off to rest and get my nerves under control would be a lifesaver. Instead, all I got from them was a question asking if I wanted a referral to a psychiatrist for medication.

A friend of mine is about as far along as I am, and she spends her time hitting up clubs and going out constantly without a single issue. If she runs into complications, it'll be because she chose that lifestyle. I'm not saying I need to act like her, but it feels like certain people are practically encouraged to live that way.🤷

brighttiger6 said:The surroundings!!! It is always about the surroundings. Without them, pregnancy would be a remarkably lovely and tranquil period. So, let us begin:

- You want to use cloth diapers?? Are you actually sane? We literally drove to San Francisco just to stock up on Pampers, and now that they are available at every single corner, you refuse to use them (I am convinced the troops liberated San Francisco specifically for the sake of Pampers 🙂)! You will inevitably realize that cleaning baby feces out of cloth is a nightmare, and you'll be switching back to Pampers within forty-eight hours (not to mention that the prospect of participating in the wonderful tradition of everyone huddling over a changing pad to stare at someone else's child's mess makes me question my future role as a mother)

- You are going to put the crib RIGHT there? There will be a draft! What if you put it over THERE instead (on the other side of the room)? There is no airflow there!! 🤷

- Why did you buy a changing pad (not the whole dresser, just the pad itself) when you could have sourced one from somewhere else?? (Of all things, buying a changing pad from $50 to stick onto our existing dresser is a stinging indictment of our extravagance 🥳 )

- You are going to change the baby in the bathroom?? (It is a source of universal shock and disbelief, because why would I change a baby in a heated bathroom when I could do it in a cooler bedroom or simply tackle the diaper in the living room? Not to mention the obvious fact that I have running water right there)

- No, you absolutely cannot dress the baby in short-sleeved onesies in the winter, regardless of how many layers you pile on top! (We ended up with a small collection of slightly used short-sleeved onesies that we can only use during the warmer months. Generally speaking, my family and company maintain that if they are short-sleeved, they are useless in winter, no matter how many layers follow) 🙂

- Why did you buy onesies? How are you going to pull them over the head? You clearly don't realize how difficult or fragile a baby can be, or how much they resist being dressed.....!! (My child will be a Hulk who wears nothing but tank tops)

- Cotton wool and water? Are you planning to clean the baby with cotton wool and water?? Who even does that anymore in the era of Pampers! (Refer back to point one and the story regarding the liberation of San Francisco for the sake of diapers. 🙂 Specifically, the white, sensitive kind)

To be clear, this is merely something I am saying off the top of my head 😁 I am currently 38 weeks and 2 days along, and I am eagerly anticipating the moment everyone repeats these exact same critiques once the baby arrives, so I can launch them all straight to Mars thanks to my hormones!

My experience was actually the exact opposite (back when I had my baby)... the home health nurse absolutely tore into me over the wipes I was using... her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw them: "Do you even realize those are forbidden?" I just stared at her, like, excuse me??? 😕 I’ll wipe my baby's butt with whatever the hell I want. ☕

meow said:I can't remember if I’ve already vented about this, but it honestly drives me up the wall that I have to be so careful about avoiding unpasteurized stuff... though, if I'm being totally honest, what bugs me even more is how people practically roll their eyes at me whenever I turn down something just because the label doesn't explicitly say it was pasteurized. It's like, I'm so tired of hearing things like, "Oh, I never even bothered checking that when I was pregnant," or "Don't worry, it's all pasteurized anyway." Look, I really don't care what you did or how you handled your pregnancy; I've made my own decisions about how I'm going to handle mine, and frankly, it's none of your business 🙂

I feel this on such a deep level.
Plus, I won't touch anything fresh unless it's been thoroughly washed, and the same goes for deli meats. Since I don't have any antibodies for toxoplasmosis, I just refuse to take the chance, and I really don't care how small the statistical risk might be right now 🙂

I find myself feeling rather frustrated with my own lack of discipline, given that I had previously insisted I wouldn't be revisiting these forums during my second pregnancy.🙂

Instead, I find myself scrolling through every single thread, which inevitably leads me down a rabbit hole of unnecessary panic, deep-seated anxiety, and nothing but negative energy.🙂

You're reading the wrong threads ☕

shadowrider28 said:I find myself feeling rather frustrated with my own lack of discipline, given that I had previously insisted I wouldn't be revisiting these forums during my second pregnancy.🙂

Instead, I find myself scrolling through every single thread, which inevitably leads me down a rabbit hole of unnecessary panic, deep-seated anxiety, and nothing but negative energy.🙂

It’s true, though—you read about someone else's experience and suddenly all these wild "what if" scenarios pop into your head that you never would have even considered otherwise.😁 You start convinced that you're destined to have the exact same issues.😁 At least that's how it works for me... still, I think this forum is great because it helps the time pass faster while I'm out on medical leave, and it's nice to actually have people to talk to who are going through the same things we are.

Kate+ said:Plus, I’ve been feeling so irritated during my pregnancy, and it honestly feels like my whole tolerance level just plummeted overnight. 😢

Oh man, tell me about it! I have become so incredibly blunt lately, it’s actually kind of wild... 😲 though, if I’m being honest, before I was pregnant, I used to just let people boss me around or be rude because I couldn't even be bothered to argue with idiots, you know? But now? Man, I am just shutting people down left and right whenever they deserve it. 🙄

Jeremy Morris2 said:Oh man, tell me about it! I have become so incredibly blunt lately, it’s actually kind of wild... 😲 though, if I’m being honest, before I was pregnant, I used to just let people boss me around or be rude because I couldn't even be bothered to argue with idiots, you know? But now? Man, I am just shutting people down left and right whenever they deserve it. 🙄

Even when you try to be civil, people still find a way to ask if you’re just having a hormonal moment. Is anyone actually listening anymore?
🙂🙂🙂