What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

mali_cox said:So why wouldn't you just shave before giving birth? Honestly, I never did a full cleanup until my last pregnancy, but during those final months, I was staying on top of everything. Every second or third shower, I’d just trim back whatever had grown, so by the time I hit the delivery room, I was completely smooth. 🤷
I didn't even need a mirror; I just figured it out as I went. 😁

🤷 I don't get it either!
Ever since I got pregnant, I've been shaving everything (back when I actually knew how to style my hair, anyway). I would have been absolutely mortified showing up to my OB-GYN or walking into the hospital looking unkempt. There's really no excuse here—it's not like it's rocket science for me or you, so I don't see why anyone else would find it such a struggle... Just plain old laziness, if you ask me. ☕

🤣 Honestly, I feel your pain... I’ll spend forever shaving, only to realize I missed half the spots!
Getting my toes looking right is just as much of a struggle. It’s exhausting, but hey, I’m not giving up! 😳😁

Brian Jones8 said:🤷 I don't get it either!
Ever since I got pregnant, I've been shaving everything (back when I actually knew how to style my hair, anyway). I would have been absolutely mortified showing up to my OB-GYN or walking into the hospital looking unkempt. There's really no excuse here—it's not like it's rocket science for me or you, so I don't see why anyone else would find it such a struggle... Just plain old laziness, if you ask me. ☕

Some people have smaller bellies, making it easier. Some folks are just more flexible and mobile, which helps. Then there's the setup—some people have huge bathrooms or big tubs, while others might actually have a mirror positioned at the right height to see what they're doing. Some people just shave regularly anyway, so they're used to the routine rather than trying other hair removal methods. And for some, shaving doesn't even cause irritation, so it's a breeze.

Just because it isn't (yet!) a struggle for you or me, doesn't mean it isn't for others, and "laziness" definitely isn't the only reason, if any reason at all...
Plus, at the end of the day, why should an OB-GYN care about whether someone looks "aesthetic" or perfectly groomed? As long as things are clean, that's what matters. Their job is to monitor health, not beauty standards. Besides, grooming down there has only been a major trend in America for a few decades. Whether it's a woman in her 60s, a feminist, or just someone who prefers a natural look and doesn't subscribe to those specific beauty norms, the doctor is still just there to do their job and make sure everything is medically sound from a health standpoint... 😉

little_cox said:I'm just not sure how much cream is actually okay to use during pregnancy🤷 I mean, who knows if it could mess with the vaginal flora🤷

I personally think you shouldn't use creams down there or anywhere else, probably because of how close they are to the mucous membranes and the risk of irritation
and when you're pregnant? Absolutely not, anywhere or any time, let alone down there... 🤷 🤷

It’s been driving me crazy lately because I’ve been waking up way too early, around 6:30 AM... I try to force myself to just stay in bed, but I can barely make it until 7:00. 😢
And honestly, that was the case the whole time I was on vacation 🙄
By the time I actually feel like heading back to bed around 9 or 10, I’m usually already out in town or grabbing coffee somewhere else... ugh.

As for my hair removal, I go to a salon once a month. It’s just become a long-term habit for me now, so I’m sticking to the routine. I used to time everything around my period (going right after it ended), but now I just schedule it around my doctor's appointments (going a few days before an exam)... I do it strictly for myself, though, not for the doctor. I just don't want to be running late or show up looking unkempt 😁, and if he happens to have any thoughts about it, he's welcome to them.

Regarding shaving, I tried doing it back when I first started thinning out, but even then I couldn't quite get it right. I can't even imagine being able to manage it with a belly like mine. 🤷

I’m just so incredibly thankful to God that I'm no longer pregnant 🙏 🙏 and I suppose that means everything feels much more level-headed now since nothing seems to get under my skin quite like it used to 😬

I just got off the phone with my dad, which isn't exactly a regular occurrence. In his eyes, I’m always the problem—always the one insulting him, hurting him, or just completely messing up my life. He’ll sit there acting like he hasn't said a single harsh word to me in his entire life, playing the saint while I take all the blame.

I called him to invite him to our civil ceremony. It’s going to be tiny, just about 12 people total, including me and my fiancé. We actually booked the date with the officiant for December 29th so we could have the actual ceremony on January 15th, but now he’s acting offended because I’m only calling him a week before the wedding. As if I haven't had the whole two weeks to figure out everything from the dinner and the rings to the dress.
He managed to get under my skin so much that I could actually feel the baby kicking and turning around in my stomach.
I just don't have the mental energy for this kind of thing—constantly being told that everything is my fault.

I’ve always found it interesting how some people have this incredible ability to remember only the negative things said to them, conveniently forgetting that those words were usually just a reaction to the nasty things they said first.
But no, in their minds, they never said anything offensive or insulted anyone.
It’s always the same story with my dad; he only ever remembers what I say to him.

I feel so exhausted.
I just want to 🙂 most of all

Tina
Try listening with one ear in and the other out!
If that’s just how he operates, he’s never going to change or actually grasp what’s happening.

Given his little existential crisis about how much time is left before the wedding, I would have honestly asked him if he needs a white gown, full makeup, and a blowout too—maybe he’s pregnant and that’s why he’s feeling so overwhelmed... a little sarcasm and dark humor is usually my go-to when dealing with nonsense like this!

It isn't your fault; if this is simply who he is, you've probably just grown accustomed to it by now, so don't take him seriously. Just focus on taking care of yourself and the baby, and make sure you look absolutely stunning at the ceremony while ignoring him entirely!
Good luck!

Ever since we put that date in the calendar, I’ve been feeling physically ill just thinking about having to call him to invite him to the wedding, even if it is the polite thing to do.
The last time we actually spoke, the final thing I told him was that he’d never meet my child—but honestly, I only snapped because he started lecturing me and talking trash about my husband and his uncles. I just hit my breaking point.
He didn't even defend himself; I just went off on him out of nowhere.
It all traces back to when we were discussing my pregnancy. My husband’s brother, who thinks he knows everything, posted on Facebook about becoming an uncle when I was only eight weeks along. When my dad found out, he went straight to my brother to see if it was true.
So, I called him up and told him straight that he should have come to me first. I pointed out that my younger brother—he's only 15—doesn't even know I'm pregnant yet, and that's how this whole mess started.

Yesterday's phone call ended with him telling me to call him back another day because he’s currently in shock.

Honestly, the questions he asked me were just ridiculous.
Him: "What is this about? That wedding?"
Me: "Well, so the baby can have a last name."
Him: "What baby?"
Me: "My baby and darkojiv's."
There was just this heavy silence.
Then he tells me to call him back later because, and I quote, "you really floored me."

God, now I’m stuck waiting for another one of these calls just so he can finally decide whether he’s showing up or not. 🙄

Michael Barrett11
I realize he’s your father, but honestly, I wouldn't be reaching out to him anymore if I were in your shoes.🤷
You’ve already laid everything out on the table; if he wants to make an effort, let him come to you, and if not, just accept that for what it is and move on with your life!
If there's actually any interest on his end, the ball is in his court to give you a call and perhaps explain what he's looking for...

Tina, sending you a huge hug... I know exactly how much this sucks, and I know saying "just don't let it get to you" is easy for anyone to say—but seriously, try it, if only for the sake of the baby. You said it yourself: your dad is who he is, and there's no changing him at this point. You’re pregnant, you're planning a wedding—even if it's just a tiny courthouse ceremony with ten people, there's still a ton of logistics!—and YOU need to be the priority here, not some offended ego!
People are just relentlessly selfish, isn't it great? 🤦
If it helps at all, you aren't alone: I got into it with my mom this morning. 🙄 My grandma is in the hospital, things are looking pretty uncertain, and she's scheduled for surgery today—this is the woman I grew up with, someone I'm incredibly close to—and my mom, instead of actually trying to comfort me, is just whining about how awful SHE has it and how she'll be all alone if grandma passes away (!!!). I mean, what can you even say to that? 🙄
Don't even get me started on my dad; I haven't spoken to him in years, and honestly, I have no desire to.
The main thing is that you and your man are okay. That the baby is healthy. As for all these emotional vampires who do nothing but drain you without bringing anything positive to the table... you've gotta cut them out of your life... or at least keep them at arm's length.

Tina 🙂 If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even bother calling my dad—not just to settle an argument, anyway. Honestly, he’d probably just end up getting under my skin and leaving me feeling frustrated. 😢

Tina.. 🙂 hang in there. I know things aren't easy right now, but try to lean on the people around you who truly understand and support you, especially during these intense and critical days.

I have my own little contribution regarding the arguing; I couldn't list every single detail, but I simply can't control myself sometimes. I’ll snap over something completely trivial and burst into tears, only to find myself feeling perfectly fine, sweet, and wonderful again just thirty minutes later. What hurts most is when those around me don't realize that this phase will pass, or that I just need their patience and empathy while my hormones are running the show.. But it seems I'm certainly not alone in this experience..

thanks everyone for all the support 🙂😘🙂:

Honestly, I’d rather not call him at all, but I feel like I need to say my piece—to show him I’m not some helpless kid. Even though I’m 22, I actually know what I’m talking about; I'm far from being naive or slow.
My husband met him too, and he feels the same sense of disgust whenever he remembers what he's like—how he looks down on us just because he didn't go to college. My dad, on the other hand, went through years of training for the police academy before they eventually let him go because of his service during the war.

It’s just how it goes when someone is convinced they’re the smartest person in the room.🙄

Anthony Watson35, I really feel for you. I know exactly what it’s like to feel completely invisible to a parent, whether it's your mom or your dad, it doesn't really matter.
I suppose I’m just lucky that my mom is a sane person; she actually puts in the effort for me, the baby, my brother, and everything else—way more than my dad ever did, even back before they split up.

thanks again, truly😘

Did you actually give him the date, the address, and the time for the wedding? Because if you did, there is zero reason to call him again. It’s not like you’re out here calling every single guest twice, right? If you do decide to reach out, don't let him throw you off your game. You don't owe him some long-winded explanation about your life. A wedding invite should be a quick two-minute deal. Just like, "Hey, it's me. The wedding is at this time and this place. I'd love to see you there. Let me know if you can make it by this date. Later."

Hannah Lewis2 said:Did you actually give him the date, the address, and the time for the wedding? Because if you did, there is zero reason to call him again. It’s not like you’re out here calling every single guest twice, right? If you do decide to reach out, don't let him throw you off your game. You don't owe him some long-winded explanation about your life. A wedding invite should be a quick two-minute deal. Just like, "Hey, it's me. The wedding is at this time and this place. I'd love to see you there. Let me know if you can make it by this date. Later."

Seriously, preach!! 👍
My guy was doing the exact same thing to me, trying to lecture me about covering the costs for the wedding reception... like, excuse me? What if we don't want to pay for everything at some fancy restaurant! Honestly, I should have just clocked him with my high heel. 😠

Just don't let him get under your skin, no matter how much it sucks right now. It'll all work out fine! 🙂

Ugh, this stupid cough is driving me absolutely insane because I’m straining so hard I feel like I’m going to pop a blood vessel, but nothing actually comes up, it just leaves my throat feeling totally raw and irritated.. 😠
Even that marshmallow syrup stuff isn't doing a damn thing..

And another thing, my mother-in-law seriously spiked my blood pressure yesterday to the point where I almost lost my mind on her.. though I managed to give her "that look" instead..😠
We stopped by their place since we hadn't seen them since last Sunday.. and immediately she's all like, "Oh, I thought you guys weren't going to come over".. like, is it really that much of a struggle to swing by once a week?
It’s not even the drive itself that kills me, 28 miles it's the mental toll of sitting there listening to my old man groan through every single sentence because he's constantly drunk and just plain exhausting.. but we showed up anyway.. so she can just shove it..🙂

He actually said he won't be there, claiming that's just not how a parent shows up for a wedding!!!! 🙄
Honestly, I'm done. I'm never calling him again; I've had enough. 😠
It’s funny how he suddenly remembers he’s a parent now. He wants all the rights, but none of the responsibilities—and heaven forbid he actually acknowledges my rights as his daughter. That’s clearly off the table.
I don't need him in my life. He doesn't feed me, clothe me, or provide a dime of financial support.
The only thing he ever contributed was paying for two years of college, and that was about it.
Since the divorce eight years ago, I haven't received a single thing from him. He gave me a laptop three years ago, but I probably wouldn't have even gotten that if I hadn't lived with him for those few months back then.

But I guess the worst part is that I still feel this lingering sadness that he won't show up, even if it's just for the ceremony and not the dinner.
I felt like such an idiot, sitting there crying because he won't come.

tina, don't let this get under your skin.
just imagine if he actually showed up to the wedding and started causing a scene, ruining everything. things are better off this way 😉

and honestly, why do you even need him in your life if he's just going to stress you out constantly? one of these days, you’re gonna have to make a clean break. cut out anyone who makes you feel like crap—even if they happen to be your own father. just because you share his DNA doesn't mean you have to put up with his bullshit.

I know I shouldn't let myself get worked up—not with a baby in the house—but when she touches me like that... it just hits different.
I honestly can't fathom being that way toward my own daughter one day.
A child should be loved unconditionally, but it feels like she’s only capable of loving herself and her little songs.🙄

Anyway, thank you all for the kind words and the support.
I think I would have been completely lost without this community and all of you.
🙂 😘

Michael Barrett11 said:He actually said he won't be there, claiming that's just not how a parent shows up for a wedding!!!! 🙄
Honestly, I'm done. I'm never calling him again; I've had enough. 😠
It’s funny how he suddenly remembers he’s a parent now. He wants all the rights, but none of the responsibilities—and heaven forbid he actually acknowledges my rights as his daughter. That’s clearly off the table.
I don't need him in my life. He doesn't feed me, clothe me, or provide a dime of financial support.
The only thing he ever contributed was paying for two years of college, and that was about it.
Since the divorce eight years ago, I haven't received a single thing from him. He gave me a laptop three years ago, but I probably wouldn't have even gotten that if I hadn't lived with him for those few months back then.

But I guess the worst part is that I still feel this lingering sadness that he won't show up, even if it's just for the ceremony and not the dinner.
I felt like such an idiot, sitting there crying because he won't come.

Honestly, honey, he's not even worth the stress 🙂 how you choose to invite people to your big day is entirely up to you—it's *your* wedding, for crying out loud. Deciding who gets an invite, when they get it, what the dress code is, the menu, the playlist... that’s all on you and your partner to figure out.

I mean, is it really fair that the first time he's hearing about you being pregnant and planning a wedding is now? And now he's throwing a fit because you sent the invite a week early? Like, he had zero reason to assume you were getting married in the first place...🤷