Windows Update issues

I just finished installing the OS on a fresh, legit copy, but I can't get any updates to pull through. I tried using WSU Offline, but it's useless—it just hangs indefinitely at "listing ids of missing updates." Meanwhile, Windows itself gets stuck on "checking for updates" forever. I even let it run for two hours straight, but absolutely nothing happens. Anyone got a clue what's going on?

It’s not exactly rare for things to drag on during the first run. Just leave it overnight, and it should be wrapped up by morning.

My main issue is just having way too many of these to put together. I was really hoping there was some kind of fix to speed things up, but hey, thanks anyway.

So I set up a Windows 7 VM today and the Windows update is just spinning its wheels for hours. It won't even let me install the convenience rollup package. What a joke.

Yeah, Windows updates have been a total nightmare for me all week—honestly, it’s been acting this way for about a year now. I can't quite put my finger on why, but whenever I'm downloading an OS or helping someone else set up Windows 7, I make sure to grab a clean version via torrent that already includes all the updates through this year. It just makes life so much easier 🙂 and saves a ton of wasted time...

Yeah, once Bill Gates stops supporting it, you're basically dead in the water. That’s the only way out. But man, if you actually have to spin up a Server 2008 instance? Total nightmare.

It’s not a bad situation for the teams 😁—they actually roll out new versions of Windows or push through updates every single month.