Open relationships

In that case, Nathan Turner2 is right—you’re clearly just obsessed with appearances.

But honestly, what's the point? What good is a title if it's built on nothing but lies?

Raymond Booth40 said:People act like we have some kind of special status, even though I don’t think we actually do. For quite a while, I kept him at arm's length sexually because I really wanted to create some distance between us. When I asked him what was stopping him from being in a committed relationship with me, he just said, "I don't want to be with anyone, period." I countered with, "So you're not going to commit to one person?" and he insisted he wouldn't. He says things will stay exactly like this forever. If he's happy with this setup, then fine—he can do whatever he wants. Personally, I might be open to certain things, but not if we're labeling it an actual relationship. At this rate, I'll be single until I'm 40...

In short: you'd agree to anything if he'd just give you the label of being in a relationship.
Look at the bright side—he's honest. You won't have to deal with any games when it comes to him.

It isn't exactly as honest as it seems. If she actually agreed to make it a formal relationship, things might change. I can't help but wonder if she'll still be stuck in this cycle by the time she hits 40. It’s truly a shame.

On top of all that, there's an 80 percent chance they're dealing with narcissistic personality disorder, based on how they act.

Raymond Booth40 said:It isn't exactly as honest as it seems. If she actually agreed to make it a formal relationship, things might change. I can't help but wonder if she'll still be stuck in this cycle by the time she hits 40. It’s truly a shame.

Why stop at 40?
Maybe he just has other priorities right now. You aren't being particularly tolerant here.

I can't even deal right now. Is anyone else seeing this? Seriously, what is actually happening out there? It’s like we’re all just living in some weird fever dream where logic went out the window and nobody bothered to pick it up. You see something like this and you just have to wonder—are we all losing it, or is it just me? Honestly, it's getting ridiculous. kaže:
Look, my advice to the author? Just leave it. But don't do it as some calculated tactic to get what you want—do it as a way to actually find yourself again.
Look, they aren't going to change. Even if they claim to have actual feelings for you, all they really want is to own you. The truth is, they just don't care—you don't mean a damn thing to them. So why keep putting yourself through this? Seriously, stop hurting yourself over someone like that and go find someone who actually deserves you.

Spot on. I'm with you 100% on this one.👍

Rachel Richardson said:Well, you could always pivot to being a lesbian.😁
Was he even good in bed?🤔

I mean, you can always just go out and buy a Glock. Simple as that.🙂

Look, I’m not trying to lecture you or anything—no need for all that over-explained nonsense—I’m just pointing out exactly what kind of level we're dealing with from Rachel Richardson here.

Raymond Booth40 said:People act like we have some kind of special status, even though I don’t think we actually do. For quite a while, I kept him at arm's length sexually because I really wanted to create some distance between us. When I asked him what was stopping him from being in a committed relationship with me, he just said, "I don't want to be with anyone, period." I countered with, "So you're not going to commit to one person?" and he insisted he wouldn't. He says things will stay exactly like this forever. If he's happy with this setup, then fine—he can do whatever he wants. Personally, I might be open to certain things, but not if we're labeling it an actual relationship. At this rate, I'll be single until I'm 40...

Don't even sweat the whole "ending up alone" thing, because honestly? The odds are basically zero. You break up with girls like that, and before you know it—give it six months tops—you're hearing they’re already walking down the aisle with some other guy? And let’s be real, the guy isn't even an upgrade; he's just someone who's actually smart enough to handle her and doesn't mind footing the bill.

Raymond Booth40 said:On top of all that, there's an 80 percent chance they're dealing with narcissistic personality disorder, based on how they act.

Look, you're like 80% right on this one.

Haha, seriously though, that whole "getting married in a few months" thing is such a huge red flag.

They’re just stalling because they’re holding out for something better. Someone hotter, younger, smarter, or just way more interesting...

Raymond Booth40 said:It isn't exactly as honest as it seems. If she actually agreed to make it a formal relationship, things might change. I can't help but wonder if she'll still be stuck in this cycle by the time she hits 40. It’s truly a shame.

And what exactly would change besides some label on a piece of paper? Would the actual quality of your connection suddenly transform overnight, or are you just holding onto this delusional hope that things will magically improve once you're "official"?

Don't go wasting your precious time and your best years on this, because you don't want to wake up a few years from now asking yourself where your common sense went and why you threw your life away.😁

He could have easily found someone much more interesting or compatible by age four. It’s not like every woman rejected him. And I definitely agree—he’s been playing games.
Plus, he has plenty of other options, yet he won't commit to any of them; at this rate, he could be single until he's forty. I actually feel bad for him. He's doing fine on his own, but if he actually found someone else, I'd finally have proof that his issues aren't just about me, but about how he treats everyone.

I still don't see the issue here; perhaps it's just a case of having too much downtime and getting overly pedantic about word forms.
She’s happy, he’s happy—why try to fix people who aren't broken?

So, you asked if he wants to break up and he said no. Did you actually ask him if he wants to be in a committed relationship with you? Maybe give that a shot.

Sean Kern2 said:

I can't even deal right now. Is anyone else seeing this? Seriously, what is actually happening out there? It’s like we’re all just living in some weird fever dream where logic went out the window and nobody bothered to pick it up. You see something like this and you just have to wonder—are we all losing it, or is it just me? Honestly, it's getting ridiculous. kaže:
Look, my advice to the author? Just leave it. But don't do it as some calculated tactic to get what you want—do it as a way to actually find yourself again.
Look, they aren't going to change. Even if they claim to have actual feelings for you, all they really want is to own you. The truth is, they just don't care—you don't mean a damn thing to them. So why keep putting yourself through this? Seriously, stop hurting yourself over someone like that and go find someone who actually deserves you.

Spot on. I'm with you 100% on this one.👍

I mean, you can always just go out and buy a Glock. Simple as that.🙂

Look, I’m not trying to lecture you or anything—no need for all that over-explained nonsense—I’m just pointing out exactly what kind of level we're dealing with from Rachel Richardson here.

Don't even sweat the whole "ending up alone" thing, because honestly? The odds are basically zero. You break up with girls like that, and before you know it—give it six months tops—you're hearing they’re already walking down the aisle with some other guy? And let’s be real, the guy isn't even an upgrade; he's just someone who's actually smart enough to handle her and doesn't mind footing the bill.

Look, you're like 80% right on this one.

She claimed she was repulsed by the very concept of the male gender—but honestly, the comment was intended to be nothing more than a bit of lighthearted sarcasm.
A woman wasted four years on a self-absorbed guy—someone who doesn't even respect her enough to lie and pretend she's actually his girlfriend.
Your suggestion would be solid—if it weren't illegal.😬

Jonathan Anderson34 said:So, you asked if he wants to break up and he said no. Did you actually ask him if he wants to be in a committed relationship with you? Maybe give that a shot.

There’s no bread here—we need to cut this guy loose.

Honestly, just wasting time and energy on total nonsense. I really don't get how some people can just sit there and burn through their lives on such stupid stuff...

William Sanders6 said:What are you even talking about? A relationship implies exclusivity and commitment, which is clearly not what this guy wants.

My advice to the author: walk away. But don't do it as a tactic to make him chase you; do it as a way to find yourself again.
He isn't going to change. If he actually had real feelings for you, he’d want you all to himself. The truth is, he just doesn't care. You don't mean much to him, so please, stop hurting yourself and find someone who actually deserves you.

"How so?" It depends on the person. Look at any thread about swinging and you'll see plenty of people who don't buy that mindset.

That said, if both people aren't on the exact same page about what a relationship actually means, they should probably just call it quits.

Rachel Richardson said:She claimed she was repulsed by the very concept of the male gender—but honestly, the comment was intended to be nothing more than a bit of lighthearted sarcasm.
A woman wasted four years on a self-absorbed guy—someone who doesn't even respect her enough to lie and pretend she's actually his girlfriend.
Your suggestion would be solid—if it weren't illegal.😬

There’s no bread here—we need to cut this guy loose.

Yeah, tell me about it. Total shitshow.😬 🤣

I've got a killer song about this whole thing, so I'm gonna go drop it right over in the main forum thread.😁

Sean Kern2 said:Yeah, tell me about it. Total shitshow.😬 🤣

I've got a killer song about this whole thing, so I'm gonna go drop it right over in the main forum thread.😁

Giving this one a like.👍
If things were different, this would make for a solid trio or a decent roleplay scenario.🤣

Rachel Richardson said:Giving this one a like.👍
If things were different, this would make for a solid trio or a decent roleplay scenario.🤣

Naughty, naughty.🙂

We're totally off-topic here.🤣Honestly, I don't even know what else (smart) I could possibly add to this thread.🤣

Oops... OP, you know exactly what you need to do. 👍

Sean Kern2 said:Naughty, naughty.🙂

We're totally off-topic here.🤣Honestly, I don't even know what else (smart) I could possibly add to this thread.🤣

Oops... OP, you know exactly what you need to do. 👍

Incredible. She’s complaining about being used by someone she isn't dating, and then claims she doesn't want anyone else because men have become repulsive to her. In other words? She’d love to participate if there were no consequences involved. 🙂

shadowbadger49 said:Incredible. She’s complaining about being used by someone she isn't dating, and then claims she doesn't want anyone else because men have become repulsive to her. In other words? She’d love to participate if there were no consequences involved. 🙂

Look, any sane person would have caught feelings for a professional after four years, right? But this absolute loser is just using this girl for his own selfish needs for years on end, only to tell her straight to her face that he's perfectly fine with things staying exactly this way and won't offer anything more. It's bottom-of-the-barrel behavior. 🙂

Sean Kern2 said:Look, any sane person would have caught feelings for a professional after four years, right? But this absolute loser is just using this girl for his own selfish needs for years on end, only to tell her straight to her face that he's perfectly fine with things staying exactly this way and won't offer anything more. It's bottom-of-the-barrel behavior. 🙂

And she allowed him to use her for four years without issue? Why is she the one at rock bottom? The guy doesn't want a relationship with her. That is the extent of it. 🙂