Open relationships

I'm thinking about getting my life in order. I have some things to sort out first, so I’ll wait until I hit 40. If I haven't made progress by then, well, it won't matter anyway. I want to try to conceive.

🤦

Whatever...

Raymond Booth40 said:Honestly, I can’t wrap my head around why he chose to be alone. He keeps insisting that being single is better, telling me I'm just being "boring" about it, and then doubling down by saying he's done with everyone. I just don't have the strength to pull the plug on this completely right now, yet it's crystal clear we can't even be friends. I wish I could just move on, but

The man was crystal clear, wasn't he? What more do you want?
Are we supposed to tell you that one day he’ll suddenly wake up, realize you’re his soulmate, and you'll both ride off into the sunset?

Not likely.

The fact that you can't accept that this was his choice? That's on you.

And stop deluding yourself about staying "friends"—the only thing that actually works here is a clean cut.

Raymond Booth40 said:I'm thinking about getting my life in order. I have some things to sort out first, so I’ll wait until I hit 40. If I haven't made progress by then, well, it won't matter anyway. I want to try to conceive.

Oh, come on, you're already trolling me, aren't you?

I am being completely serious here.

And what exactly is his choice to be

Paul Martin8 said:Oh, come on, you're already trolling me, aren't you?

👍

Raymond Booth40 said:I'm thinking about getting my life in order. I have some things to sort out first, so I’ll wait until I hit 40. If I haven't made progress by then, well, it won't matter anyway. I want to try to conceive.

It's a scam. Honestly, if you're going down that road, you might as well try your luck with a famous tennis player, like the one who ended up with Boris Becker. 😁

You don't need a relationship; you need professional psychiatric help. Honestly, I think the moderators should just lock this thread.

Why seek psychiatric help?

Raymond Booth40 said:Why seek psychiatric help?

The fact that you can even pose such a question is telling enough.

jadetinker85 said:It's a scam. Honestly, if you're going down that road, you might as well try your luck with a famous tennis player, like the one who ended up with Boris Becker. 😁

The girl is only 25, yet she's describing some pretty extreme scenarios—getting pregnant without knowing.
She really ought to lay low; she doesn't need this kind of attention.

Rachel Richardson said:The girl is only 25, yet she's describing some pretty extreme scenarios—getting pregnant without knowing.
She really ought to lay low; she doesn't need this kind of attention.

Some people really ought to be banned from the internet. 🙂

shadowbadger49 said:Would you please explain how you concluded that I am supporting him?
I am not supporting him, but I do believe he isn't the only sleazebag in this story. In my view, she bears more blame because she allowed herself to be screwed for such an extended period. 😉

Seriously, go back and actually read your own posts. If it’s true that she was only 21 and he was already 33 when this whole thing kicked off, then yeah, that just adds another massive layer to his responsibility, doesn't it? He basically conditioned her to believe she’s good for nothing other than being his occasional distraction. Honestly, wouldn't it have been better if he’d found someone who could actually make a living from their talents instead?

But honestly, looking at the situation now, I can see exactly how this plays out. She’s going to play the "devoted partner" role for another three years until he hits that big 40, just so they can seal the deal with a pregnancy and make sure he’s stuck in this mess forever. Isn't that just classic?

Look, lady, do you actually think he’s going to pop the question just because you get pregnant? Or that he’ll suddenly step up and take care of the kid? If you aren't trolling me—and honestly, at this point, I'm starting to think you totally are—then you need a reality check. He won't. He’ll just give you the same old lines he’s been feeding you this whole time about how he doesn't care. Whether you're joking or not, good luck to you. You're gonna need it.

Paul Martin8 said:The man was crystal clear, wasn't he? What more do you want?
Are we supposed to tell you that one day he’ll suddenly wake up, realize you’re his soulmate, and you'll both ride off into the sunset?

Not likely.

The fact that you can't accept that this was his choice? That's on you.

And stop deluding yourself about staying "friends"—the only thing that actually works here is a clean cut.

Exactly, I was thinking the damn same thing while reading through this thread.

What on earth did I just read?

Stop obsessing over that age gap! Who cares? To him, those forty years probably don't mean a single thing compared to how much you two connect.
You’re totally fixated on this. Of course he isn't going to change his behavior if he's perfectly happy with how things are! You're only stressing out because you want to put an official label on the relationship. Forcing it won't work. Seriously, just step back. Start building your own life and focus entirely on yourself! If you keep pushing him, you'll actually drive him away. In the end, you'll be the one begging him just to be friends.

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Sean Kern2 said:Seriously, go back and actually read your own posts. If it’s true that she was only 21 and he was already 33 when this whole thing kicked off, then yeah, that just adds another massive layer to his responsibility, doesn't it? He basically conditioned her to believe she’s good for nothing other than being his occasional distraction. Honestly, wouldn't it have been better if he’d found someone who could actually make a living from their talents instead?

But honestly, looking at the situation now, I can see exactly how this plays out. She’s going to play the "devoted partner" role for another three years until he hits that big 40, just so they can seal the deal with a pregnancy and make sure he’s stuck in this mess forever. Isn't that just classic?

Look, lady, do you actually think he’s going to pop the question just because you get pregnant? Or that he’ll suddenly step up and take care of the kid? If you aren't trolling me—and honestly, at this point, I'm starting to think you totally are—then you need a reality check. He won't. He’ll just give you the same old lines he’s been feeding you this whole time about how he doesn't care. Whether you're joking or not, good luck to you. You're gonna need it.

Exactly, I was thinking the damn same thing while reading through this thread.

If I were here to defend him, I’d say the same thing, but I find it hilarious how you all pin the blame on him while treating her like some kind of angel. How much longer can you possibly keep defending her after the nonsense she's pulled? 😉

shadowbadger49 said:Some people really ought to be banned from the internet. 🙂

Yup

Sean Kern2 said:Seriously, go back and actually read your own posts. If it’s true that she was only 21 and he was already 33 when this whole thing kicked off, then yeah, that just adds another massive layer to his responsibility, doesn't it? He basically conditioned her to believe she’s good for nothing other than being his occasional distraction. Honestly, wouldn't it have been better if he’d found someone who could actually make a living from their talents instead?

But honestly, looking at the situation now, I can see exactly how this plays out. She’s going to play the "devoted partner" role for another three years until he hits that big 40, just so they can seal the deal with a pregnancy and make sure he’s stuck in this mess forever. Isn't that just classic?

Look, lady, do you actually think he’s going to pop the question just because you get pregnant? Or that he’ll suddenly step up and take care of the kid? If you aren't trolling me—and honestly, at this point, I'm starting to think you totally are—then you need a reality check. He won't. He’ll just give you the same old lines he’s been feeding you this whole time about how he doesn't care. Whether you're joking or not, good luck to you. You're gonna need it.

Exactly, I was thinking the damn same thing while reading through this thread.

A clean cut approach is the only way to go.
There isn't a single logical reason why a 25-year-old woman would waste her time on a guy like that...

shadowbadger49 said:If I were here to defend him, I’d say the same thing, but I find it hilarious how you all pin the blame on him while treating her like some kind of angel. How much longer can you possibly keep defending her after the nonsense she's pulled? 😉

The guy isn't to blame; he's playing with his cards face up on the table. She's the real issue.

So what’s my issue here? He’s just as much to blame. If I were a man and he knew that, I wouldn't be hanging out with someone who wants to be with me when I don't feel the same way about him. He'd find someone else instead.

Good grief, why are we still circling back to this same pattern? He isn’t going to be the one to walk away; he clearly doesn't have the slightest interest in managing the fallout of your relationship. You need to be the one to pull the plug—so what exactly is holding you back? And please, stop stressing about him hitting forty... It's not like he'll transform overnight. If he's thirty-seven now, turning forty isn't some massive life-altering milestone.