What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Let me get this straight right off the bat: my mother-in-law is a wonderful woman. She’s dear to me, she treats me great, and honestly, any other daughter-in-law would kill to have her.

But.

Since the apartment belongs to my husband—bought long before he ever met me—she still has a key.

And she uses it whenever the hell she feels like it.

It's not like she's just barging in to cause trouble; she always brings something—homemade olive oil, fresh lemon juice, homemade this or that... which I actually really appreciate, especially the oil, since I love olive oil...

...but damn it, is it really that hard to just call and ask, "Can I stop by?"

Okay, sometimes she does call, but more often than not, I’ll walk in from work, start making the bed, cooking dinner, or just using the restroom... and then there's a knock at the door. Who the hell...? It's her. Carrying vegetables. Apparently, she was just passing by and thought she'd swing in.

Or, what really gets under my skin: I walk into the house, and there are bottles of oil on the table, bags of greens, soup for my son in our pot in the fridge (I don't even eat soup), and maybe some cake.

I know I should be grateful. The woman is putting in effort, she truly is, and it all comes from a good place... and yes, I am grateful, dammit... but is it such a massive struggle to pick up the phone and see if it's a good time to visit?

(She once told me, "I come here like it's my own home," to which I snapped, "Well, you have every right since it's your son's place." After that, she started calling to ask permission... but today, again—we get back from coffee, and there's new food sitting on the table.

Am I just being a jerk? 😢

You aren't being "evil" or whatever. Look, we grew up in houses where the old guys would just barge into our rooms once a year without even knocking—in our own damn homes. So, I don't see why anyone thinks they have the right to be snooping around an apartment, regardless of how good their intentions are,
b) while I'm not even there 😲. Honestly, I don't even know what people consider a "big deal" anymore.

So, a friend of mine finally hit her breaking point. Her mother-in-law used to pull this ridiculous stunt where she’d just barge into the house at the crack of dawn, supposedly just to "check in" on what my friend was up to. Well, my friend decided she'd had enough and started locking the doors. She honestly couldn't care less what the woman thinks. But of course, the mother-in-law wouldn't take no for an answer—she started screaming and pounding on the door like a maniac until my friend finally gave in and opened up. 🤦 I mean, seriously, how much of a total moron do you have to be to act like that????

Anthony Watson35, tell me about it. There are way too many people like that out there. What more do they want from you? It's not like you're their social club!

A few days ago, my in-laws popped by at 9 PM claiming they were just "passing through" (as if they happen to be passing through our tiny town on their way to somewhere else!). It would have been hilarious if we hadn't been caught mid-act just minutes earlier. We were basically half-dressed and completely winded. Honestly...
On the flip side, there’s the type who announces they're coming, and then you sit there like an idiot for two hours because they decided to stop for a quick errand in downtown Chicago first—something they conveniently forgot to mention when they called.
I should probably stop now... really...

edit: I realize I don't quite fit this thread since I'm not pregnant, and frankly, the whole topic irritates me regardless... so please don't ban me headfirst.

I'm done. Seriously, I am officially done reading this thread about amniocentesis... I can't take it anymore. 🙂
And honestly? It’s just exhausting when people can barely string a sentence together—kind of like that lady whose posts drive me up the wall.

Just my luck. The second I bring them up here, my husband asks if we can swing by his parents' place in twenty minutes. 🙂
Guess I'm going.
Once we're back, I'll be sure to report exactly how many times my mother-in-law makes a comment about my weight. ☕

I’ve always had little patience for people who lack basic intelligence or literacy, regardless of the topic. When they start spouting absolute nonsense, though, my irritation hits a whole new level.

So, Jesus, this lady just called me out of the blue earlier, and after all the usual questions about the pregnancy, she asks if the baby is kicking yet. I totally lit up and started rambling on about how my little guy is basically a tiny heavyweight boxer in there and 😍
Then comes the kicker—she goes, "Oh, and does the baby scratch you with their nails?" 😱 😲 I mean, obviously, once those little claws grow in, they're gonna scratch.
Honestly, I think I'm gonna have nightmares.

It absolutely infuriates me how he thinks he can just trash-talk my mother whenever he feels like it. Meanwhile, I’m not even allowed to hint that his own mother can be incredibly grating at times, no matter how well-intentioned she claims to be. These unannounced visits have become a regular thing ever since he found out I'm pregnant—he probably thinks he's doing us a favor by dropping off all this homemade food, as if the baby is going to grow up on junk mail and fast food.
Of course, his mother is some untouchable saint, while mine is apparently some kind of wicked witch. 😠

Honestly, it’s probably always been this way.
My dad’s mom is just as incredibly kindhearted, but she can be exhausting when we’re hanging out at her place.
When we go over for Sunday lunch, I have to call my sister afterward just to decompress; my nerves are absolutely shot because she repeats herself so much within two hours. Lately, all she talks about is the grandkids (my brother-in-law's kids)—look, they love those kids, and they're sweet enough (I guess, though I'm not big on little kids... hopefully I'll change my mind before I have my own one day), but after two hours of pivoting every single damn topic back to them, I start losing my mind.
And while I was pregnant, she never missed a chance to mention how she spent her entire pregnancy gardening, even hauling coal into the shed on the day she went into labor, showered, and just headed to the hospital. Then, after I practically screamed at my sister-in-law (hormones, right?) to stop telling me horror stories about the delivery room, she wouldn't stop insisting her own births were the best moments of her life. She’s still on my bad side for that.
She thinks she knows everything, acts like she's the star of the show, and loves sticking her nose in everyone's business. She isn't malicious—she truly means well—but she is soooooooo draining.
But heaven forbid I say any of this to my dad... he’ll spend the whole time trashing my family, calling them judgmental or overly critical (trust me, I know exactly what they're like, I lived with them for 25 years!), yet when it comes to his side of the family, he puts on those rose-colored glasses.

My blood pressure is absolutely skyrocketing right now... please excuse my language because I truly do try to maintain a level of decorum, but honestly—what on earth am I even doing here if my opinion doesn't matter at all!?!?!
So, my husband and I had already made plans that when we head into Chicago, we’ll visit the census bureau together—since, you know, we have to register there as our official residence. But then, out of nowhere, my sister-in-law calls up claiming she’s going to handle the registration for us. Now, instead of explaining herself, my husband just keeps badgering me for my Social Security number—not even giving me a reason why! When I asked him point-blank, he just repeats, "Just give me the number..." Honestly, I couldn't care less if she fills something out wrong or if some government agency audits it later, but surely there should be some basic respect—shouldn't I be consulted if I actually consent to this?? Or am I just being unreasonable? It’s the same pattern, really. After the wedding, they decided they were going to buy all new carpets for the apartment, and they just announced it to me like an afterthought: "We're buying new carpets, you coming?" Please... I’m the one who’s going to be living in this place! Once she gets her first paycheck, she’ll pack up and move out, leaving me stuck in an apartment decorated entirely to someone else's taste!! And now, as if it weren't enough, he's actually acting angry with me because he thinks I'm getting worked up over nothing.

Ugh, I am actually feeling quite frustrated about this now! 😠😠
My in-laws really got under my skin today... we were visiting them...
Since I'm still a relatively new driver, everyone is suddenly hovering over me, which is fine...
But I really can't stand being micromanaged when someone tells me ten different times
that I shouldn't drive anywhere by myself. For instance, tomorrow I have to go somewhere
where I feel a real sense of duty to show up, and I don't want to burden anyone, so I'll just take my own car.
It’s a route I haven't tackled alone before, but I guess I'll manage... yet they keep insisting
that it's probably not a good idea for me to go anywhere. It's just so confusing, especially since I have an obligation,
and they seem to be ignoring how I actually feel. They just want me to stay home
so they can feel less anxious, and maybe I'm being mean, but it's just so irritating,
to the point where I have to raise my voice and remind them that I am perfectly capable.
I even mentioned I was going to stay with my family for a few days, and they didn't take that well either...
They suggested my husband come along, but I said no because I'll be staying there for a bit...
A few other things set me off too, but oh well, I suppose I shouldn't sweat the small stuff...

It really gets under my skin..

Just you wait until you actually have a baby... then everyone starts questioning why you’re going anywhere alone with an infant, who's going to help you, etc.—as if you've suddenly become completely incapacitated just because you're currently dealing with some health issues.

I always try to use the "let it go in one ear and out the other" method to ignore this kind of nonsense, usually just repeating that things will happen how they happen. But once, at a summer camp, one woman really managed to push my buttons when she tried to (not very subtly) organize half the camp to find some poor soul to hitch a ride with me. She claimed he just needed a lift to Chicago, supposedly just so I wouldn't have to tackle those 186 miles highways all by myself with my little 🙄. So, we ended up having a much more direct conversation (since the breezy approach wasn't working), and of course, the little one and I made the trip to Chicago perfectly fine on our own... And then she has the nerve to wonder why I only stayed at the beach with her and the baby for a few days... 😁

It’s funny how you always have those friends who have never actually been pregnant—meaning they’ve never even gone through labor—yet they suddenly become experts on everything. They’ll tell you exactly which brand of diapers to buy, the best way to feed a newborn, what to avoid at all costs, and so on...

The in-laws teamed up last night. Total tag-team effort. 🙄
I was bracing myself for the Treaty of Kiel, but surprisingly, we dodged that bullet.
But here’s the real kicker—what kind of diapers am I supposed to use? Cloth?
They said no. Honestly, I can't be bothered with all that extra work—disposables seem fine, maybe even better.
Oh, sure, because that's "better."
Doubtful. Not happening.
Fine then... have it your way. You'll end up doing what you want anyway... though you're definitely going to need disposables at the hospital and for at least the first month regardless.
😕
What am I gonna need for the first month?
Cloth ones?
Are you kidding me?!
Well, you HAVE to. It’s mandatory. Until your follow-up appointment, you absolutely have to use cloth exclusively. No other options allowed—zero. Just cloth. Don't even think about disposables. Just wait, they'll tell you at the maternity ward—they only use cloth there too (I'm just picturing the hospital staff running straight to the laundry room).
😕
Are we talking about that mandatory hip-healthy swaddling thing?
: blank stare :
Let me explain what I mean...
Oh, right, and you don't have to do that with cloth?
🤦

Honestly, I’m already totally fed up with all the unsolicited "expert" advice from everyone around me—I’ve decided I’m only listening to actual doctors. If I absolutely have to deal with family, I might listen to my aunt first, mostly because she actually works in a field where she knows what she's talking about, even if she hasn't had kids. But that whole "you haven't raised a kid, so you can't talk" logic? It gives me the runs faster than Donatello.

Here’s a little story from last night, haha. It didn't really bother me, but still... all the relatives kept asking us what we’re going to name the baby girl.
I told them, "whatever Dad wants."
Then they asked, "And?"
He just stayed quiet, so I kind of snapped, "Well, why aren't you saying anything?"
He finally said "Frankie," and everyone just burst out laughing.
But seriously, Dad was like, "Please, just pick a pretty name for her." Me😕😕
🤣🤣

Just when I tell my husband that one of his buddies and his new girlfriend are actually great—and how much we enjoyed catching up over coffee at their place last weekend (they just started dating and moved in together immediately, which is a choice!)—we invite them over for snacks, they show up, and my blood pressure hits the ceiling.
I’m all about having fresh flowers on the table, and my husband actually picked up some daisies for me the day before yesterday. Now she’s sitting there telling this story about how she HAD to practically force him to run to the store to get her roses. So, I ask her, "Why?" And she just gives me this look—you know the one—and says, "Oh, you don't need me to explain why!" while gesturing pointedly at my daisies. And honestly, 😕 😕
The implication, apparently, is that I should have intuitively known—or better yet, anticipated—that she needed those roses by yesterday morning so she could be draped in blooms, ensuring the Almighty grants her eternal beauty for the rest of the year. 🙄
So, naturally, I mention that I’m not exactly religious—I don't do the whole church thing, I don't follow those traditions, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to check the boxes on a census form. Which, of course, leads to both of them trying to convince me that I AM a believer, I just haven't realized it yet. They’re already projecting my future where I'm sitting in a pew every single Sunday. They even suggested that before I can declare anything other than "Catholic" on a government form, I first need to go to church and clear all my sacraments. 😲 😲

There you go. And right after I told them how wonderful they are and how much I enjoy their company. 🤦

Haha... so, you basically have to renounce every single sacrament before you can officially declare yourself an atheist? That seems a bit much, doesn't it? 😂😂😂😂
Honestly, I’ve just reached my breaking point—I am completely done. Now, my sister-in-law is blowing up my phone with texts asking, "What was your mother's name again?" and all that. I told my husband quite clearly that since they decided to make these arrangements behind my back, they should be more than capable of handling the details themselves without my input. I even pointed out that on the official paperwork, I listed my father instead of my mother, and then gave her my mom's name just to get her off my back. As for any other questions, she can go ask her own brother—I certainly don't have the extra cash sitting in my checking account to fund a continuous text conversation. Just leave me alone. No one bothered to ask if I even agreed to this whole thing, yet now I’m expecting a barrage of calls every few minutes. Just tell me what happened when you hear... I really couldn't care less at this point. 😠😠

Honestly, it really gets under my skin when my husband and his sister sit around making plans without even glancing my way—as if I’m some five-year-old child whose opinion doesn't carry any weight in this house. It’s a pattern, too; we had a similar fallout regarding the wedding arrangements, though I eventually managed to hold my ground and get my way in the end. But today? Today, I plan on making sure he actually hears me. He came to bed last night all affectionate, kissing me and acting as if nothing was wrong—which, frankly, felt a bit dismissive of the tension between us—but I’m hoping we can actually address the issue today.🙂