What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Environment.
The people around me.
My inner circle.
The ones you’d actually expect to offer some support or understanding.

And then they turn around and tell me I'm being an absolute idiot!!

Why?

Because—go figure—of a car seat!! Or rather, my logic that, as a conscientious future mother, I shouldn't just follow American safety laws, but do absolutely everything to ensure my child's safety—meaning from day one, I'll be using nothing but an all-stage seat.

So, I'm showing my parents the all-stage seat we picked up last night (huge thanks to kukuc 🙂 ) and they look at me all confused, asking how on earth you put a baby in there with a built-in cushion.

I didn't even get a chance to explain why the extra padding isn't bulky, let alone mention the cushion, before the screaming started.

Basically, I'm "unstable," the poor kid is going to be abused from birth, and so on, and so forth.

Now my mom is in the other room crying because apparently, I'm such a terrible mother..

🤷

I can't help but wonder—if they're already judging my mental state like this, what is it going to be like once I actually have the baby..

Peter Doyle2, this is seriously wild—I totally get why you're so frustrated! 🙄

I'm actually pretty annoyed at myself for getting sucked into a debate yesterday about which hospital I should go to for delivery, all with some guy I’ve only met three times in my life. 😠
Of course, he thinks he knows better just because he spent four hours at the hospital with his wife during her labor—meanwhile, this is my first time! 🙂

I'm getting grilled just because of my hospital choice.

Basically, I picked one on the other side of town.

People are acting like they're terrified I won't make it in time—like I'll end up giving birth in a car or something.

Honestly, the sarcasm was thick enough to cut with a knife.🙏 🤣 Apparently, it’s all because this is my firstborn.

Of course, I'm just some spoiled brat who spends way too much time reading things online—or so they say—since they won't even listen to my actual reasoning regarding our maternity ward (it's a neonatal unit, for starters, but nobody cares about logic).
🙄

I feel like I'm being treated like an idiot just because I actually prefer listening to medical professionals, doctors, and pediatricians over advice that's at least 20 years out of date.🙄

My mother-in-law has already tried convincing me that breastfeeding alone won't be enough once the baby hits the three-month mark. She's "one hundred percent" sure. I mean, she's had three kids, so she knows everything, whereas I have no clue since this is my first, so I'm just "philosophizing" for no reason.

I might just move to Antarctica until the kid turns 18.

But, honestly? I'm worried even that wouldn't be far enough away.

😢

Just don't cave—do what you planned, otherwise you're looking at daily crying sessions in your room as a form of blackmail.

Peter Doyle2 said:Environment.
The people around me.
My inner circle.
The ones you’d actually expect to offer some support or understanding.

And then they turn around and tell me I'm being an absolute idiot!!

Why?

Because—go figure—of a car seat!! Or rather, my logic that, as a conscientious future mother, I shouldn't just follow American safety laws, but do absolutely everything to ensure my child's safety—meaning from day one, I'll be using nothing but an all-stage seat.

So, I'm showing my parents the all-stage seat we picked up last night (huge thanks to kukuc 🙂 ) and they look at me all confused, asking how on earth you put a baby in there with a built-in cushion.

I didn't even get a chance to explain why the extra padding isn't bulky, let alone mention the cushion, before the screaming started.

Basically, I'm "unstable," the poor kid is going to be abused from birth, and so on, and so forth.

Now my mom is in the other room crying because apparently, I'm such a terrible mother..

🤷

I can't help but wonder—if they're already judging my mental state like this, what is it going to be like once I actually have the baby..

That sounds like an absolute nightmare. If you want to protect your peace, I’d honestly suggest implementing a zero-tolerance policy for that kind of behavior starting right now. Otherwise, life after childbirth is going to feel like a living hell. Seriously—don't waste your breath trying to explain things to emotional blackmailers; just stick to your guns. If they don't agree, well, that's their problem. Make it clear that you aren't interested in hearing critiques regarding your decisions. If this is how they reason now, just wait until you're dealing with a million unsolicited opinions on breastfeeding, bathing, dressing the baby, or whether you should be giving them juice, water, or broth. They'll tell you your milk isn't enough, or it's too thin, or whatever—basically, everything will be your fault if the baby cries. And they'll all claim it's "out of concern" for you, when really, it's just about control and manipulation...

My husband is driving me absolutely insane. He’s acting like a total pig. He worked a few hours today, came home, sat straight down at his computer to play video games, ate everything in sight, and then went to sleep. When I tried to wake him up an hour later because the baby was fussy, he just snapped at me for trying to quiet 🙂:asshole:

Then, when I told him he needed to apologize, he just sulked and drove over to his parents' house! He left the little one all alone with me while the baby was crying for him... He finally came back for the kid after a few minutes, but he stormed in looking like a complete maniac. Honestly, I should have just gone with him... I don't feel like sitting there through a barrage of interrogation from his folks asking "What happened?!" and all that nonsense. Get outta here! :2up:

Just needed to vent somewhere... sorry for the language...

Man, Luna, you’ve got it rough😢

Nothing beats a mother-in-law lecturing me on breastfeeding after she’s had three kids and didn't even nurse any of them for more than six months... 🙄

Just adding my two cents here... after skimming through the messages, it seems to me this isn't just about hormones. It’s about people who think they can get away with anything just because they see a pregnant woman. Seriously, what is wrong with people?! I’m not sick, I haven't lost my mind, and I’m certainly not overweight! 😠
I don't know why it happens. Neither I nor my girlfriends ever felt the urge, yet there are people who just love touching a pregnant belly. And I'm not talking about close family—I mean acquaintances or even total strangers!!! Every time I see someone like that smiling and reaching out toward me, I literally cringe. The problem is I often don't react fast enough, so I end up dwelling on it for hours afterward.
Oh, and yeah! My breasts have grown, so what?! That shouldn't be up for discussion, especially not those comments from guys like—"Holy crap! How big are those?!"—right in front of my mom or my partner... Honestly, I just want to ask: what gives?! You want to touch them too, you jerk!!! 😠
But honestly, the absolute worst is hearing—"Damn! Look how big you got!" grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... What am I even supposed to say? Especially when some woman or mother says... "Aaaah, you're already getting fat," accompanied by that mocking smirk that just makes you want to die...
So, I'm curious—how do you all deal with this? I've always been the type to come home and replay scenarios in my head—thinking of the perfect comeback or how I should have reacted if they said this or did that. But now, I'm at a point where I just can't tolerate it anymore...😕

Believe me, there’s always another side to the story when it comes to people's comments—I actually put on a little weight, and since my hips are wider, my stomach looks smaller by comparison and hasn't really popped lately; so, everyone seems to get so worked up asking how we could be about to give birth when the 🤣 is still so tiny. Then, when I try to explain that it actually has everything to do with my pelvic structure, they just stare at me blankly. It's like I'm speaking a foreign language. Honestly, it’s not just the men—it’s the women too, and even women who have given birth themselves—not even fifty years ago, but more recently—who look at me like, "Oh, how would you know about that?" Good grief, I guess I should just say that my OB-GYNs told me!!

It’s awful. But honestly, that’s just how it goes with everything else. If I had a scar on my back, I’d probably be stuck explaining it too...
I’m just wondering how you get rid of people who think a pregnant woman owes them every single detail—from her OBGYN appointments to what happens in the bedroom, the bathroom, and every other private moment...

swiftraven21 said:Just adding my two cents here... after skimming through the messages, it seems to me this isn't just about hormones. It’s about people who think they can get away with anything just because they see a pregnant woman. Seriously, what is wrong with people?! I’m not sick, I haven't lost my mind, and I’m certainly not overweight! 😠
I don't know why it happens. Neither I nor my girlfriends ever felt the urge, yet there are people who just love touching a pregnant belly. And I'm not talking about close family—I mean acquaintances or even total strangers!!! Every time I see someone like that smiling and reaching out toward me, I literally cringe. The problem is I often don't react fast enough, so I end up dwelling on it for hours afterward.
Oh, and yeah! My breasts have grown, so what?! That shouldn't be up for discussion, especially not those comments from guys like—"Holy crap! How big are those?!"—right in front of my mom or my partner... Honestly, I just want to ask: what gives?! You want to touch them too, you jerk!!! 😠
But honestly, the absolute worst is hearing—"Damn! Look how big you got!" grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... What am I even supposed to say? Especially when some woman or mother says... "Aaaah, you're already getting fat," accompanied by that mocking smirk that just makes you want to die...
So, I'm curious—how do you all deal with this? I've always been the type to come home and replay scenarios in my head—thinking of the perfect comeback or how I should have reacted if they said this or did that. But now, I'm at a point where I just can't tolerate it anymore...😕

To be perfectly honest, I simply couldn't care less about random people or their petty little comments and behaviors! Are they truly important enough for me to lose sleep over? Certainly not! Why don't you try letting it all just slide right through you—in one ear and out the other? It would be such a waste of precious energy to struggle against the nonsense of absolute fools and squander our limited time and nerves on such trivialities!

Peter Doyle2, I've already had one child and now I am pregnant again, yet 🙈 I haven't the slightest clue about placental positioning, how it affects things, or if it even influences the size of my bump! I am actually in the process of booking an appointment at the maternity clinic right now, and since I have my medical records handy—I'll just type the number here so I can check—I finally realized (I am currently 33 weeks along) whether my placenta is anterior or posterior 🙈 once more

The only thing that ever truly bothered me was when my aunt used to call me fat; however, I know she doesn't mean any harm, so, really, let her say what she will.

I’m really starting to lose my patience with this constant nausea. I’ve been dealing with it for about 20 hours now, and it is absolutely brutal. Honestly, is there ever going to be an end to this?

It’s not that I’m actually annoyed, it’s more just entertaining to watch:
- When I was pregnant with my first—a little girl—I didn't get a single comment about the gender. Now that I'm expecting a boy, I’ve been caught off guard a few times by people asking things like, "Is your husband happy now?" or "So, you finally figured it out, huh? Great!" It seems like a whole crowd of people thinks moms are just waiting to produce a son, and they act like I've finally achieved some sort of domestic peace now that I've "succeeded" at it. 🤷
- Then there was this one day when I was standing in line at the CVS express checkout. It was absolutely sweltering outside, just stifling, and I'm sitting there with my baby bump practically touching my knees, when this guy just rushes up and asks if he can cut ahead of me. 😕 I just calmly told him, "No, sorry," and that was that—but he actually took it personally and got offended! 🤣

I’m honestly getting so fed up with this constant, all-day nausea; I can barely eat anything, let alone function normally... I've had just about enough.😠

My legs have been absolutely swollen since Monday—all because of that marathon shopping trip!!! Then, just yesterday, we had my mom’s birthday celebration at our cabin in the Catskills, so once again, I haven't had a single moment to actually rest. I honestly started to panic yesterday when I realized my fingers were starting to swell up too; my mood just completely tanked, though I tried my best to hide it so no one would notice!! Especially not my husband. Now, I’m just lying here, doing nothing but loading and unloading the washing machine over and over! Today is strictly laundry day for me. And oh man... I have a doctor's appointment on Monday, and I'm terrified I'm going to hear exactly what I've been dreading—that I'm dealing with some kind of inflammation and need to be on strict bed rest!!!!

I’m currently 21 weeks along, and let me tell you, nobody gives a damn about pregnant women when it comes to cutting lines. Not once have I been let go ahead at the grocery store checkout, the doctor’s office, or anywhere else.
Honestly, people act like I’m personally attacking them just by existing, because they know I might actually expect some kind of priority. And look, it’s not like I’m going to shove my way through a crowd myself—that would be way too awkward..

It also drives me absolutely insane when everyone thinks they have the right to lecture me about their own birth stories without me even asking. I was sitting in the waiting room at the local clinic—just me and this random woman I'd never seen before—and she starts dumping all this on me, asking if I'm terrified of labor, if I know what's coming, how much she suffered... I straight up told her I didn't care and that I'll deal with it when the time actually comes.

And the third thing that's getting under my skin is how my husband just doesn't seem to see me, while I'm over here being a total emotional wreck. When I read those stories online about guys giving massages and being super supportive, it honestly makes me want to cry. I know part of it is on me, too, since my hormones are basically running the show right now, and he’s a good guy, but there are days where I just feel like absolute garbage.. ☕

Honestly, what’s really getting to me is this constant heartburn—it’s been dragging on for three months now—along with lower back pain, discomfort in my groin area, and swollen legs. On top of all that, my feet are aching, and now I've developed this sudden, intense itching on my feet, toes, and heels. It’s absolutely brutal at night; I feel like I’m going to claw my own skin off just to get some relief.🙏
Well, look, it hasn't even been two full months yet, and I'm sure all this misery will finally be behind me soon.😁

I couldn't agree more with ajreen; it feels like nobody gives a damn about what I’m going through, and even now at 37 years old, I am constantly battling these agonizing pains and contractions that leave me barely able to stand, yet people just turn their heads away the second they catch sight of my stomach... it's absolutely unbelievable...
And then there's the endless barrage of phone calls where everyone insists on asking me, "So, did you put on weight?"—because I used to be so thin—and now that I’ve gained about 40 pounds, they act completely shocked, as if it's some massive scandal, when in reality, I’m practically nothing but skin and bones...
Not to mention those ridiculous reactions regarding the baby's gender; we have so many friends who have daughters but are desperately wishing for a son, and the moment I mention I'm having a girl, they start making these obnoxious comments about how we're all stuck with girls... it is honestly just appalling...

Hey ladies,

I’m not pregnant, nor am I even looking to get pregnant, but...

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years now—we live together, we’re both financially independent, the whole nine yards. But lately, it feels like everyone around us—and by "everyone," I mean his entire family—has fixated on the idea of us getting married and having kids. We aren't ready for that yet; honestly, we feel too young... It wouldn't bother me if they just made the occasional comment about how nice it would be, but they’ve started acting like we’ve been married for years and like I’m already expecting.

For instance, in the middle of dinner, his sister—who has two kids of her own—just looks at me out of nowhere and says something like, "You know, once you have a baby, you won't be able to keep your hair this long; you'll probably have to chop it all off."😕 And there isn't a baby in sight. I have long blonde hair that I absolutely love, and the thought of cutting it hasn't even crossed my mind...

Then there was the other day, sitting with his mother over coffee—we were just chatting under the shade of a tree in the backyard—when she suddenly starts listing off all these handsome names for boys (don't even get me started on girl names)... again, NO BABY IN SIGHT.🙄

Even his dad dropped a gem about two weeks ago: "You know you won't be able to keep pets once the baby arrives."

First of all, those are *our* pets and there is zero chance I'd ever give them up, and second, since there is no baby, the whole sentence was completely nonsensical.

They even had this entire debate about how much weight I’ll put on during pregnancy... I think they've actually lost their minds.☕

I feel bad reading through all your posts about dealing with pregnancy issues, but I stumbled onto this thread and realized you're all facing similar pressures during your pregnancies. I'm dealing with the exact same thing, except I'm not even pregnant. Is it possible that things will only get worse one day when I actually *am* expecting???😳 Right now, I can still find the dark humor in these comments, but I doubt I’ll have the nerves you all do to deal with people blowing in my ear like this every single day. Mad respect to you all!😍

Regarding the lines, you've got a point. I find myself stuck in endless queues every single day; everyone stares and grumbles, yet nobody actually steps up to help.
What really gets to me is this constant underlying anxiety—this mental loop of "what if" and "how to," just trying to ensure everything goes smoothly. It’s the physical toll, too; the struggle of bending over to handle the million little tasks I used to do without a second thought, having to watch my step in ways I never had to before, the insomnia, the inability to get comfortable... it's a lot.
But there are only two months left until the baby arrives. 😍