What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

It honestly gets under my skin when people don't give up their seats on the subway; it actually makes me feel a little sad, if I'm being honest.😢
I mean, out of all the people around, there’s always some lady in her 60s or 70s sitting right there...
But lately, the last three or four times this has happened, I’ve just ended up thanking the older woman and saying, "Oh, please don't bother getting up, really! It would be much fairer if one of these younger guys or girls stepped up." And I’ll pointedly gesture toward the nearest young person nearby. It’s funny how it works—there are always a few people watching, and wouldn't you know it, they jump up immediately? Sometimes it's even a whole group of them at once!
Then, as I sit down, I'll let out a little sigh of relief and "sincerely" offer a "Phew, thank you so much!"
Why does it feel like I have to be the one teaching basic manners on public transit?🙂

When I actually sit down and give it some real thought, the whole issue of seating isn't even my primary concern.
I don't rely on the subway for my daily commute, but back when I was trekking to high school or college every single day, I witnessed just about everything you could imagine. The reality is that absolutely no one can look at a person and know the specific struggle behind why they need a seat.

For instance, I used to suffer through excruciating menstrual cramps, and honestly, I probably would have ended up collapsed on the floor of an MTA train if I hadn't been sitting down—and I still vividly remember being verbally torn apart by some elderly lady because she thought I should have given up my spot for a pregnant woman. While I fully acknowledge that not everyone who sits is being selfish, it seems to me that a huge portion of the younger generation today has completely lost any sense of basic decency or public etiquette, which is frankly pathetic.
And don't even get me started on those women strutting around in high heels 😢

But what truly drives me up the wall is standing in lines. I deal with high blood pressure and I simply cannot stand for extended periods; plus, I have to use the restroom every fifteen minutes or so, especially when I'm out and about since I tend to drink a massive amount of water. I can't even fathom being stuck in a long queue without a bottle of water in my hand—the sheer panic sets in immediately, particularly when the heat is cranking. 🙂

I was actually going to say the exact same thing about riding the subway, 🙂 copperheron20. I always make sure to give up my seat for seniors or pregnant women, though I’ll skip the ladies who look healthier than me if they act entitled 😳—but honestly, if I'm dealing with debilitating cramps, there's just no way I'm standing up, or I might actually pass out.
Not to mention the time I headed back to class just two days after getting my leg out of a cast; everything was still swollen and aching, and I was hobbling around on crutches for a month afterward. I ended up getting absolutely chewed out by some woman whose friend was sitting in a priority seat without actually needing it—she just wanted to sit down so they could gossip, and she decided to take her frustration out on me instead. 😠

Sure, I get that you can’t read minds, and honestly, it’s perfectly fine if someone says, "Sorry, I really can't stand right now, I'm feeling lightheaded, my leg hurts, my stomach is acting up..." or whatever else. No hard feelings there, of course!

But it’s happened to me two or three times where I’m standing in the middle of a half-empty subway car—meaning most people are seated and maybe only three of us are standing. It’s not like I’m buried in a rush hour crowd where they can’t see me; at least twenty people looking right at me can see me clearly, yet nobody does anything. And believe me, since I’m carrying twins, I have a pretty "noticeable" bump 😍...
and that part just really gets to me... 😢 ...It’s like, when the hormones hit, I just want to burst into tears and ask, "Seriously? Is absolutely no one going to offer a seat?!"
When I wasn't struggling physically, standing didn't bother me much; I was even able to say thank you if someone did help. It's not like I need a ride halfway across the city, I'm only going down a few stops. But now that standing is actually becoming difficult, I find myself being way more sensitive to it... I think I could probably walk slowly for hours 😁, but standing perfectly still? I don't think I can last three minutes before I feel like my back, my stomach, and my legs are all about to explode.

I rarely take the subway; I usually just ride for a few stops.

But I appreciate the gesture. I know how it would feel if I couldn't stand. You know, like if all the old guys were just sitting there staring out the window instead.

(Yesterday, an older lady actually tried to give up her seat for me. 😍 )

I’ve realized just how much it grates on my nerves when people spot me and immediately blurt out, "YOU'VE GROWN FAT!"—as if it were some sort of enthusiastic greeting or a casual observation. 😠

So, my mother-in-law just dropped this line on me today about how my kid is going to end up being "too smart" for her own good. Honestly, I wasn't even that bothered by it, mostly because my husband had already warned me she’d say something like that, so we just spent a little while laughing about it together. Still, I felt like I had to share this ridiculous moment with you all here.

Honestly, it really gets under my skin when my partner insists that hormones and all the mood swings that come with them are just some kind of feminine nonsense—as if I’m just making things up or should somehow just act like everything is normal.
It bugs me how some guys—not all of them, obviously, but plenty—just carry on with their lives as if their wives aren't even pregnant... meanwhile, women actually need a bit more support and attention during this phase.
And don't even get me started on that classic, patronizing "just enjoy being pregnant and focus on yourself" cliché... how exactly am I supposed to "enjoy" this? I’ve gained 20 pounds, I can’t go in the pool, nothing fits me anymore, and I can barely walk twenty feet without feeling like my spleen is trying to exit my body. I can't even grab coffee with my friends—I guess nobody invites me out anymore because they're terrified I'll go into labor right there in the middle of the cafe. So yeah, my big plans involve reading a book and eating about 500 pastries in a row.

Joshua James40 said:Honestly, it really gets under my skin when my partner insists that hormones and all the mood swings that come with them are just some kind of feminine nonsense—as if I’m just making things up or should somehow just act like everything is normal.
It bugs me how some guys—not all of them, obviously, but plenty—just carry on with their lives as if their wives aren't even pregnant... meanwhile, women actually need a bit more support and attention during this phase.
And don't even get me started on that classic, patronizing "just enjoy being pregnant and focus on yourself" cliché... how exactly am I supposed to "enjoy" this? I’ve gained 20 pounds, I can’t go in the pool, nothing fits me anymore, and I can barely walk twenty feet without feeling like my spleen is trying to exit my body. I can't even grab coffee with my friends—I guess nobody invites me out anymore because they're terrified I'll go into labor right there in the middle of the cafe. So yeah, my big plans involve reading a book and eating about 500 pastries in a row.

And since you're already way, way ahead of me...
my brain feels like it's basically turned into dried-out mush...

cosmiccrane15 said:And since you're already way, way ahead of me...
my brain feels like it's basically turned into dried-out mush...

It is the absolute truth! I was so certain that during my pregnancy, I would finally find the time to breeze through all twenty books on my list—not to mention some professional journals—since I couldn't get to them with work. But instead? Nothing. 🙂
My attention span has basically dropped to the level of a goldfish... 🙄

Joshua James40 said:Honestly, it really gets under my skin when my partner insists that hormones and all the mood swings that come with them are just some kind of feminine nonsense—as if I’m just making things up or should somehow just act like everything is normal.
It bugs me how some guys—not all of them, obviously, but plenty—just carry on with their lives as if their wives aren't even pregnant... meanwhile, women actually need a bit more support and attention during this phase.
And don't even get me started on that classic, patronizing "just enjoy being pregnant and focus on yourself" cliché... how exactly am I supposed to "enjoy" this? I’ve gained 20 pounds, I can’t go in the pool, nothing fits me anymore, and I can barely walk twenty feet without feeling like my spleen is trying to exit my body. I can't even grab coffee with my friends—I guess nobody invites me out anymore because they're terrified I'll go into labor right there in the middle of the cafe. So yeah, my big plans involve reading a book and eating about 500 pastries in a row.

Honestly, I think people are just saying those things with the best intentions.
I'm currently 35 weeks along with my second child, and looking back at how much more free time I had during my first pregnancy, I actually regret not doing more—even though I wasn't exactly sitting around doing nothing.
Once the baby arrives, it isn't that going out becomes impossible, but the logistics get much harder. If you're breastfeeding, you're physically tethered to the infant, and even afterward, finding childcare and coordinating everything is a massive undertaking. It’s never quite as simple as it seems.

Did your doctor specifically tell you to stay out of the pool? I live on an island and I still go; at least there, I can bring the baby along. 🤷 As for the social life, you’ll have to be the one to initiate the hangouts if your friends aren't reaching out.

driftinglynx23 said:It is the absolute truth! I was so certain that during my pregnancy, I would finally find the time to breeze through all twenty books on my list—not to mention some professional journals—since I couldn't get to them with work. But instead? Nothing. 🙂
My attention span has basically dropped to the level of a goldfish... 🙄

I used to be such a bookworm; I’d juggle two fantasy novels at once while keeping up with technical reading. My average was easily ten books a month. Now? I’ve been stuck on this 200-page Pavlic crime thriller for two months straight... and I’m seriously behind on my library returns!

silentraven6 said:I used to be such a bookworm; I’d juggle two fantasy novels at once while keeping up with technical reading. My average was easily ten books a month. Now? I’ve been stuck on this 200-page Pavlic crime thriller for two months straight... and I’m seriously behind on my library returns!

Well, at least you're actually reading something 😁

My big achievement lately is just posting on TZ😁

Look, I get it—I know people mean well when they say these things... but honestly? Hearing the same old platitudes every single day is just getting exhausting.
My doctor actually told me to stay away from the pool for now—given my history with various gynecological issues, they figured it’s better to play it safe and avoid any potential inflammation...
I used to be so social, but lately, everything feels a bit off. I’m constantly exhausted, always sleepy, and I feel like I've ballooned out—I'm up about 20 pounds at 24 weeks... plus, nothing in my closet fits anymore. It's just one thing after another...

The further I get into this pregnancy, the more I realize just how much absolute nonsense people around me spout. It’s honestly mind-blowing. One of the most "brilliant" examples I've dealt with lately—and yeah, this is becoming a daily occurrence—goes something like this: "I really think you should just chill out now that you're nearing the end (34 weeks). You've been doing English classes, Pilates, running around with the dog... you're never home! And look, your doctor warned you not to overdo it so you don't go into early labor... just settle down so everything stays fine until the end..." Okay, cool. Fast forward about three hours, and the exact same person hits me with: "Hey, would it be a huge problem if you gave me a ride to campus this afternoon around 4:00? Yeah, obviously no biggie, I didn't even think about it... since you're basically always at home anyway." Like, excuse me? The sheer audacity.
Or, here's another flavor of the same madness: "Make sure you sleep while you still can! Sleep as much as you need, just rest up..." Meanwhile, I've been wide awake since 8:10 AM... and by 9:15 AM, they're already barking at me: "Hurry up, why aren't you dressed yet? I need to move the car, it's blocking the workers and their truck." Honestly, I couldn't care less about some random workers or their truck... I am not running out there just because my car is parked in front of my own house!
It’s just constant. Every single day there's some new ridiculous demand that proves exactly why I *should* be resting, lying down, and "keeping my feet up" like everyone keeps telling me to do.

I’ve been lurking on this forum for years, but I finally decided it was time to jump in. 🙂

Lately, I’ve been getting so annoyed by people who think they have a right to broadcast my pregnancy to everyone else. Just because I told one person the gender doesn't mean they get to go run their mouth to fifteen other people.
I honestly don't get how people justify this behavior. It’s our business—me, my husband, and our parents—and we're the only ones who decide who gets to know what.
🙂

Peter Turner6 said:I’ve been lurking on this forum for years, but I finally decided it was time to jump in. 🙂

Lately, I’ve been getting so annoyed by people who think they have a right to broadcast my pregnancy to everyone else. Just because I told one person the gender doesn't mean they get to go run their mouth to fifteen other people.
I honestly don't get how people justify this behavior. It’s our business—me, my husband, and our parents—and we're the only ones who decide who gets to know what.
🙂

I know exactly how you feel. I already posted about this once—back when I announced my pregnancy at work, some guy there started telling entire classes of kids that the librarian was pregnant. Seriously? What business is it of theirs?

I’m right at the finish line of my pregnancy—40 weeks in—and I have to admit, it’s driving me absolutely crazy. I can’t even make a quick trip to the grocery store without at least five people, most of whom I barely know or have only exchanged a polite nod with, cornering me to ask, "Soooooooo?! When is the big day? Any idea when it's happening?"
Joe Biden, how on earth am I supposed to know the exact moment? If I actually had a crystal ball, wouldn't I be using it to avoid these ridiculous questions instead? 🙂 🙂

Some rude people actually think they have the right to dump their horrific birth stories on me without even knowing my profession or what I'm asking...

They comment on my belly size and ask if my doctor confirmed everything is fine just because it looks small.😠😠😠

silentbison17 said:Some rude people actually think they have the right to dump their horrific birth stories on me without even knowing my profession or what I'm asking...

They comment on my belly size and ask if my doctor confirmed everything is fine just because it looks small.😠😠😠

Regarding that first point, I think you should just call them out directly. Ask them if they really believe it’s appropriate to share those kinds of stories and stir up anxiety like that. If you make things just a little bit awkward for them, they'll usually shut up.

As for the second part, it really just highlights how uninformed and narrow-minded those people are.