Posts by fadedbear92

Paul Newman5 said:On Citram I've been on for about 3 weeks now. Since I'm a total wimp, I spent the first 10 days taking just a quarter dose, and now I've been on 5 mg for 9 days—that's what my doctor prescribed until my follow-up in 5 weeks (late August). No major side effects, just some extra jitters and nausea in the morning. It’s manageable. But I'm wondering, how does someone actually feel when an AD is working? Like, when am I supposed to notice a shift? I haven't felt anything with any AD so far. Maybe a stupid question since everyone is different, but I'm just counting the days, waiting for the moment I can get up and head to work or leave the house without feeling so much fear and anxiety. I was on Ladiomil for 7 weeks once; it was fine at first, but I gained 3 lbs in the first month—which I mentioned here—and then after that, it was like my metabolism just went haywire. I put on 7 lbs in three weeks. I had to call my doctor because I was terrified I'd hit 200 lbs before my next appointment, so she told me to stop the Ladiomil immediately. Another thing: my first med last November was Lexapro, starting straight at 10mg. Five days of pure hell and unbearable restlessness, but my doctor back then refused to lower the dose and just stopped it entirely. Now I'm on Citram and it's tolerable. If she had taught me to taper slowly like they do now, maybe Lexapro would have worked and I wouldn't have wasted months of misery. Am I right, or is Citram just weaker than Lexapro even if they're in the same class?

mistyseal11 said:Has anyone here actually dealt with Wellbutrin before?
During that first week, I swear it brought me back to life—like, it totally jumpstarted my will to live and everything...
But now, even though I’m feeling pretty level-headed, that drive to actually get stuff done just completely vanished...
It’s been about 4 weeks since I started taking it.
Do you think I should maybe ask my doctor about bumping up the dose? (I'm on 150mg right now)

Robin Chavez6 said:Hey everyone! So, I was on Celexa (citalopram) for two years. It really helped with my depression, but man, it just left me feeling totally wiped out—super drowsy and exhausted all the time. I finally asked my psychiatrist to switch up my antidepressant, so he prescribed Lexapro (escitalopram, just like Cipralex or Elicea). I’ve been taking it for about a week now. I know it usually takes around two weeks to kick in, but I’d love to hear what you guys think... how did this one work for you? Right now, I'm dragging during the day but then tossing and turning with insomnia at night! Hopefully, it's just a side effect that clears up soon...

Kenneth Scott41 said:I suppose that's true. Though, if I'm being honest, I think there's a noticeable difference when you're actually taking the branded Seroquel versus something like
Loquen. Personally, I feel the impact more significantly with the name brand; it seems to hit harder and the effects tend to linger much longer... I guess you could say the tablet itself is higher quality. If you really want to test it, try taking a 100mg Seroquel tonight, then take a 100mg Loquen at the exact same time tomorrow, and you'll see... or rather, you'll definitely feel the difference. ☕

Kevin Nguyen3 said:Seroquel? It's a double-edged sword, really. I think I mentioned this somewhere else already, didn't I?
It works fine for psychosis—both schizophrenia and bipolar stuff—but for anything else? It's just bad.
If you find yourself sleeping through the day or feeling totally groggy and hungover when you wake up, then... well, it simply isn't for you.
It's one of those controversial antipsychotics, isn't it?
If there is any other option available, you should seriously consider looking into Quetiapine or Zyprexa.
They offer a similar effect but come with significantly fewer side effects.
With Seroquel, you often end up needing to take something else just to "get moving" enough to actually function the next day, which just drags you into another cycle of more pills.
And aren't we just going in circles here? Instead of letting the body try its best to fight the illness on its own, we force it to behave according to what we *think* is best. Isn't that the tragedy of it all?
Then there's the whole issue regarding suicide risk at the start of treatment, though I suppose that depends entirely on the specific diagnosis.
I was on it for a long time, and frankly, my opinion of the drug is pretty low.
In this day and age, there are much better "modern variations" based on that same formula.😉

electricranger16 said:

a specific example

When we get together, my family doesn't talk much. There’s often this awkward silence hanging in the air.
Not too long ago—maybe over the last year or so—I used to feel incredibly anxious in those moments, so I took on the role of the entertainer.
Basically, I’d be the one kicking off conversations about this or that topic.
That would usually ease the tension in the room (and in me).
But some things have actually changed, thanks to psychotherapy.

1.Your motivation for talking is just so you don't feel so terrible.
--> You probably don't even know how they're feeling. They might have a completely different perspective or set of emotions than you do in that situation.

2.You mentioned taking on the role of the entertainer. But wait, who are you entertaining? Yourself or them? Playing the entertainer is like working a job where you aren't getting paid anything. But you actually are! Like you said, your feelings change and you don't feel so bad. You take action, and they become the means through which you feel better.

3.Let's define what communication actually is.
What counts as communication? Words, gestures, non-verbal cues, emotions.
Words and speech shouldn't really be the foundation of communication... emotions should come first. Emotions show up through non-verbal actions—like when you turn toward someone, look at them, and give them your attention. Giving someone your attention is the core of communication, and it's more important than words. When you focus your attention on someone else, you shift the focus away from yourself and stop obsessing over your own thoughts, emotions, or that uncomfortable silence.

It’s possible to be with people for two hours without saying a single word and still feel fulfilled and connected. What's the trick? It happens when you're actively engaged in the communication—really listening to what others say and watching them. You don't have time to overthink or manufacture ideas. True engagement comes spontaneously and naturally, not through analysis and forced effort.
I've noticed this myself when I'm feeling low: I close myself off non-verbally. I stop making eye contact and my body language becomes guarded. Now, there are two options: I can fill that mental gap with attention and active listening or I can start building a narrative:
"Nobody is listening to me."
"I can't get a word in edgewise."
"I'm weak," etc.
When we listen actively, there isn't any room for those kinds of thoughts. !!

another specific example

My dad drives me home from the train station—it's about a ten-minute drive.
He stays silent, and I stay silent.
Then I make a decision inside my head: fine, if you've decided to be quiet, then so am I. I DON'T WANT TO BE the entertainer anymore.
And what usually happens? He starts talking. The topics are banal, sure, but it's obvious he can't handle the discomfort of the silence either.
So, I've changed one behavioral pattern.
It's not always easy, though. Sometimes it's hard, depending on how I'm doing generally or what phase I'm in.

Sure, but people don't "stay quiet" because they want you to feel bad. They are just in their own worlds with their own thoughts. In a way, you're holding the silent person responsible for how you feel. You're being passively angry at them. You've given that person the power to dictate your emotions, so you hold them accountable, and then you end up feeling bad because you know deep down you betrayed yourself by shifting the responsibility onto them. Subconsciously, you're admitting helplessness.

It’s funny how that "just say anything, just don't stay silent" pattern works. My mom has been using that tactic for years. I wonder if she’s the reason I ended up like this—it's highly likely, I guess.

That's a sharp observation. Looking at myself, I've picked up way too many patterns from my dad. Not so much from my mother. Maybe we just gravitate toward the parent we resemble more.
I'd argue we actually learn how to act from them. They basically serve as a blueprint for how to handle certain situations, and we just end up mimicking it.
Here are the patterns I inherited from my father:
--> playing the victim
--> social tension / either be the center of attention or get emotionally crushed
--> a sense of inferiority
--> passivity
--> the "angry little diet" effect

peace

--> You probably have no clue how they’re actually feeling.They might just be looking at the whole thing from a completely different angle—and feeling things quite differently than you are.

Quote:

2.So, you're saying you've stepped into the role of animator?But wait—who exactly are you trying to animate here? Yourself or them? Honestly, playing the role of an animator is like taking on a massive project where you don't get paid a dime... except you actually do! Just like you mentioned earlier. Feelings just have a way of shifting around on you. You don't even feel that bad anymore. Once you actually start taking action, they become the tools you use to find your footing again.

Playing that kind of role for too long just wears a person down—honestly, by the end of the story, I found myself completely checked out. The conversations had become so incredibly superficial, while all the actual problems were just swept under the rug along with a mountain of taboos you weren't even allowed to touch.

3.How would one even begin to define communication? It’s essentially the bridge we build between minds—the exchange of ideas, feelings, or data that turns isolation into connection.
What exactly constitutes communication? It’s more than just words—it's the gestures we make, those subtle non-verbal cues, and the raw emotions we project.
Words and speech shouldn't be the bedrock of how we connect—honestly, emotion has to take the lead. It’s all about those nonverbal cues, you know? Like when you actually face someone, really look at them, and give them your full attention. Giving someone your undivided attention is the true foundation of communication—it's way more vital than just the words we say!
Quote:

When you focus all that energy on someone else, you finally manage to step out of your own head—it’s like you just stop obsessing over your own thoughts, emotions, and that awkward, heavy silence.

I have to disagree—if it’s a two-way street, then expectations exist on both sides, whether we want to admit it or not.

You can hang out with people for two hours without saying a single word and still walk away feeling completely fulfilled and connected. What’s the secret there? When you're actively listening—really tuning in to what others are sharing while you observe them—your brain doesn't have the bandwidth to overthink or manufacture responses. Real engagement happens spontaneously and naturally; it's definitely not something you can just sit there and force through sheer analysis.

Sure, you can definitely feel at ease without saying a word—but isn't that really just a reflection of the crowd you're running with? It all comes down to being in a circle where you actually feel valued, you know? You need to be around people who respect your takes and your perspective, rather than just completely brushing you off.

Quincy:

I’ve started to notice certain patterns whenever I’m feeling under the weather: I honestly feel like I'm just being shut out. I don't even look them in the eye anymore—I just use my body language to show I'm closed off. Now, there are really only two ways to handle this: I can either fill that mental void with actual focus, or... Active listening. Or by building a narrative: It feels like I’m just shouting into the void here—nobody's actually listening to me. I just can't seem to find the right words. I’m feeling pretty weak lately—just one of those stretches, I guess. When exactly does our mind truly engage in active listening? There’s just no room left for these thoughts..!!

Active listening? Honestly, you have to be genuinely motivated from within to pull that off—you can't just force it.

If I’m actually listening to someone—like, really leaning in—it’s because they matter to me. They’re either someone I care about or they're just genuinely fascinating. Either way, what they have to say carries weight. To be honest, I don't think "active listening" is ever just about being polite; if that were the case, I'd just be nodding along while thinking about lunch.

Exactly—people stay quiet because they want you to walk away feeling like the bad guy.You’re living entirely within your own head and your own ideas. You see yourself as this responsible person who stays quiet just because that’s how it feels—but really, you’re just harboring this passive resentment toward him. By doing that, you've handed him all the power over your emotions; you make him the one accountable, but in the end, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth because deep down, you know you've betrayed yourself. Shifting the blame onto him is really just a subconscious admission that you feel powerless.

I partially agree with that first point—but honestly, people can just stay silent to intentionally ignore you because they want you to feel bad or guilty about something. I’m specifically talking about my father here, not just people in general.

Of course I subconsciously handed that person that much power—I really did—but thankfully my therapist helped me realize I shouldn't let it happen again, or at least not nearly as often as I used to.

redcrane22 said:For Sanval, the 30-count box is only about $0.07 😉

I actually just stepped out of the drugstore

Anyway, who even said Zoloft makes you lose weight? 🙂
If I could find one more thing to help me shed pounds, especially alongside this other medication that's already causing weight loss as a side effect, I'd be set.

But hey, I'm hanging in there.

Kevin Nguyen3 said:Yes. It absolutely is. But here is the real headache: how many people are actually just taking one single medication? Rarely! Most people are on a cocktail, so how can anyone point a finger at one specific pill and say, "This is the culprit"? It’s nearly impossible to be certain. However, if we are talking generalities, almost any combination you throw at them can lead to a drop in sex drive. And let's be honest, Paxil isn't exactly the gold standard everyone raves about, is it?

Anthony Collins7 said:I get those thoughts too, sometimes. I guess the issue with us humans is that we’re always living five steps ahead—and usually, it’s in the worst possible way. The reality is, bad things don't necessarily have to happen; sometimes you just overthink things, and then, oddly enough, everything turns out better than you ever expected.
The truth is, we can't actually predict the future or what's coming down the road. That’s why we probably shouldn't be asking ourselves all these negative questions, but because we’re so terrified of uncertainty and the unknown, they just kind of creep in. Most of this negativity, I suppose, is just fear in disguise.

All you really can do is take it one day at a time—try to stay grounded in the present instead of spiraling about what might happen tomorrow.
The past is gone, the future is a question mark, and all you really have is right now.

When those thoughts start hitting you, try to shut them down. Occupy your brain with something else—something positive. Maybe try deep breathing, meditation, or prayer. Find an outlet—write in a journal, maybe write down everything that's bothering you and then just rip the paper up and destroy it; it helps clear the mental clutter. Or just dance, scream if you need to, or blast some music you love.

Just try to believe that things will work out. Face the daily grind with a bit of courage and trust in your own abilities. If you're a person of faith, maybe try surrendering it all to God and trusting Him—even if it feels like everyone else has walked away, He's still there.

Try to remember, even when things look bleak, that nothing lasts forever—not even the bad stuff.
Nothing happens without a reason, even if it feels completely random and unfair most of the time.
I guess you're always given exactly what you're capable of handling.

All you can really do is take it one day at a time, try to stay present, and not let the future weigh you down too much.
The past is gone, the future is a mystery, all you've got is right now.

When those thoughts start hitting you, try to shut them down. Distract your brain with something else—something positive. Take deep breaths, meditate, pray, find a release valve. Write in a journal; write down everything that's eating at you on a piece of paper and then tear it up—destroy it. That’s how you let go of the negativity. Dance, cry it out, listen to your favorite music.

Believe that things will work out. Face your daily struggles with courage and trust in your own abilities. If you're a person of faith, try surrendering yourself to God's hands and trusting Him; even if everyone else leaves you, He is always there.

Try to keep in mind, even during the bad times, that nothing lasts forever. Everything comes to an end, even the negativity.

Nothing happens without a reason, even if it feels like the exact opposite sometimes.

Jason Campbell3 said:Hello there..

I suppose I might be spiraling into paranoia—it feels like my default setting has become purely negative lately—but the core issue is this... I find myself constantly caught in these loops of "what if" scenarios. What if this specific thing happens, or what if a certain person acts a certain way, which then triggers a chain reaction of events, and so on and so forth... By dwelling on these possibilities, I end up constructing these absolutely horrific mental movies, usually settling on the most catastrophic outcome possible. I am obsessing over things that haven't even occurred yet, and I can't help but wonder—is there actually a chance they will?

To be honest, I've been completely preoccupied recently by this nagging fear that some future event will unfold with a devastating result... Yet, when I try to logically assess the actual probability of any of this happening, I can't see it—though, in my mind, every single one of these disasters feels like an absolute certainty..

Does anyone know how to break out of this cycle?😢

copperheron18 said:Good grief, you wouldn't believe the day I've had. I was on a bit of a trek today—about a two-hour drive—and decided to take some Dramamine beforehand because, frankly, long trips always make me feel physically wretched. It never even crossed my mind to consider how that might interact with my current medication. The result? I was essentially a zombie. It felt as though I hadn't slept in three days straight; I couldn't even stay upright, let alone focus on anything, despite having actually slept quite well the night before.
It was incredibly awkward, too, being around the people we were visiting. Luckily, since I have a little one, I could just play it off by saying we all had a rough night of sleep. Even so, once the afternoon rolled around, I managed to catch a quick 90-minute nap with the kid, which finally helped me feel a bit more human.
Honestly, if I had known, there was no way I would have taken it. It only hit me after the fact, but then I checked the fine print on the Dramamine packaging, and sure enough, it explicitly mentions that it can cause these kinds of effects when combined with certain other drugs.

Angela Reyes4 said:Are you seeing a psychiatrist privately or through your insurance?

I’m using my insurance.
I received my diagnosis at the end of April and started the medication shortly after.
My next appointment isn't until July.
I guess I just have to be patient until then.🤷

The only time you'd switch is if Prozac isn't helping at all, though I doubt that's the case. I personally know someone who dealt with nausea and extreme fatigue or sleepiness for about 10 days after starting Prozac, but after that, they were back to normal—getting up, going to college, playing sports—and it helped them immensely with anxiety and those irrational fears we deal with. Regarding what I wrote earlier about not needing to suffer for two months, I've heard similar things from other people on this forum whose doctors said the same thing. This is just my layman's understanding, though, so I don't know if I'm right.

My doctor told me it takes time for the full effect to kick in and for the body to actually show how the meds are impacting it.
On top of that, I haven't even reached half of my target dose for Lamictal yet.

I didn't ask her exactly how much time it would take.

Since I have finals coming up, I specifically asked her not to put me on anything that causes brain fog.
She assured me that the pills I was given wouldn't make me feel numb; if anything, she said I might feel more "alive" and have more energy.

Right now, I still feel exhausted, but that's most likely due to poor sleep.🤷
As for why I'm sleeping so badly, I have no idea.
Regarding my OCD, I feel like it's helping somewhat.
I have fewer compulsions, which is great.

But man, this fatigue is killing me.

I’m still feeling pretty exhausted right now, though that's probably mostly due to my terrible sleep schedule.🤷
As for why I can't sleep—honestly, who knows?

It seems to be helping with my OCD somewhat.
The compulsions aren't hitting me nearly as hard, which is a huge relief.

Angela Reyes4 said:I guess that’s why they prescribed it to me.

I don't have epilepsy or bipolar disorder, but I deal with this inexplicable rage that leads to frequent outbursts.

It doesn't feel like it's doing anything yet, but I haven't even reached half my prescribed dose.

Jessica Fowler4 said:wait, how are you actually taking norepinephrine? and what kind of diagnosis are we talking about?

that’s actually the plan... I already ordered some bupropion (Wellbutrin) from an overseas supplier... I just can't wait for it to get here...

but I really wanted to get some advice here, I didn't see a specific ADHD thread so I just started my own... honestly, I'm mostly aiming at dealing with ADD...

Jessica Fowler4 said:I happened to stumble across this while browsing, so I figured I'd just drop it here. This is how one pretty open-minded doctor looked at the whole thing:

http://www.addcentre.co.uk/selfmedcocaine.htm

Whether people believe it or not, I'm not some "evil addict" out to ruin society. I generate thousands of dollars in tax revenue every single month just by working with my hands, which is more than 98% of Americans. Most of my life, I just feel terrible—except for when I'm chasing a stimulant.

My life is basically this cycle of unbearable cravings followed by equally unbearable disappointments, sandwiched between this crushing boredom and the total inability to find the motivation to fix anything. It creates this intense anxiety because you can see your life passing you by, but you feel paralyzed. You know everything you should be doing, but you just can't move. In that state of extreme boredom, any source of stimulation can grab me for hours or even days—like researching diseases, for example. Or back in the day, it was game programming... when that happens, nothing else exists, not even responsibilities. If nothing captures my attention, then everything else becomes overwhelming, and the anxiety spikes, but again, I can't just force myself to solve the problems.

I started using substances practically almost from the very first time I ever tried them.

I use THC when I get home from work. Before I started doing that, I'd come home and just be totally checked out for three, four, five hours—completely unresponsive. It drove my girlfriend crazy and just added so much stress to my life. I couldn't help it; I'd either have to sleep (which I often couldn't do anyway) or just sit there being "out of it." Any unexpected chores after work would just trigger this rage and madness in me. THC fixed that. Even though most people think weed makes you unmotivated, for me, it actually helps me stay driven. I don't know how, but it works for me. Though, sometimes it does kill my ability to hyperfocus (which is how I function at work, I don't really know any other way, which is why I'm so drained by the time I get home).
I never really used it at work, though. I knew how to work while high at home (programming); actually, I've noticed it's easier for me to motivate myself while high compared to the average person. So, I use THC for those tedious, mindless tasks too. They become interesting when I'm high and I'm not fighting against my own brain. Like, I'd typically use it for cleaning up or setting up a grill or something...

I also use THC to fall asleep. That was actually the main reason I started using it regularly. I've dealt with "insomnia" my entire life. But it isn't really insomnia; it's just that I focus on something I'm interested in (like coding a game) or some bad social interaction, and I just replay it in my head all night long. It's not even an obsession, really—you just start and you can't stop. It's been happening to me for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, it wasn't such a big deal if I didn't sleep through the night... but now that I have a career, it's a disaster...

Cocaine... well, I used it occasionally, just the usual way. Snorting, going out, snorting until there’s nothing left, and then suddenly it’s already noon the next day. So yeah, that was my introduction—just being out with people... later on, even though I really didn't want it to happen, I hit this point where I was just utterly unmotivated, "sleepy," lost in this fog, and nothing seemed to clear it. So I tried... taking tiny little doses of cocaine every hour while I was at work.

I guess most normal people would find it hard to function like that. Cocaine just pulls you in, makes you want more... and the amounts start creeping up... but personally, I don't really have an issue with that part... once I leave work, I don't crave it anymore... when I get home, I just light up some weed.... when I go on a road trip, I don't do drugs at all... it isn't even really a problem for me, after living like this for 5 or 10 years.... actually, I think I have more control over my cocaine use than a "normal" person who tries it for the first time.
To be honest, the peak high is uncomfortable for me (it makes me nervous). For me, the best part of the cocaine—in terms of feeling "normal" (meaning what I’m looking for from a substance, not what weekend party people look for)—is kind of this five-minute window right as it starts to wear off. Like, just before it completely leaves my system, that's when I feel good. Cocaine mainly hits the serotonin, but I'm actually aiming for the dopamine/norepinephrine which is secondary... I think the negative effect I get is from the serotonin, because it's way stronger than the tiny trace of the good effect I actually feel... still, overall, it wakes me up and gives me these occasional windows where it's easier to get motivated and actually start doing something. It's just about getting started...

I have this huge pile of "strategies" that I constantly try to use to kick myself out of my standard state of mind. Anything, really.

There was one time, during my worst period of stress, cocaine actually bothered me and didn't offer any good feelings at all. Just sweating, heart racing, confusion, and this general restlessness.

Can you believe that I was still choosing that over just being my regular self? It would be a situation where I come home from work (feeling clean) but I happen to be out of weed. I would just pull a line of cocaine just to knock myself out of my "tracks." To kill my mental capacity. That mental capacity that decides what to do and pushes itself to the absolute limit. So I can end up sweaty and agitated... just so that it isn't *me*. And I honestly believe most people would trade their lives for mine (minus the mental issues).

Ten years of using stuff like this and the amounts haven't escalated. I'm not an addict in the typical sense... I just have an assortment of different things (some are drugs) that don't even have to feel good; they just need to confuse me, shift me, pull me inward, knock me off my tracks, or shake me out of my default mental state... and I use them as needed.

My default state of mind is this perception that life is unbearably boring. And the realization that there's no alternative. Apathy—depression—lack of motivation—being checked out from the moment—living in my head. But then, on the other hand, when I actually want to do something, I am capable of more than 99% of the population. But I just can't force myself to *want* it; that only happens on its own, eventually.
Why would life be unbearably boring for me? Why would I suffer through this? In my life, I've designed and drawn, I've made music, I've made games... I've created all sorts of wonderful things... I'm proud of all of that... and everyone else thinks I'm smart, and capable, and talented, etc. But look at how I feel? What can anyone tell me? "Snap out of it?" I've been forcing myself to snap out of it for 10 years... I've accomplished more in my life than most people who would tell me to snap out of it... but I've also accomplished far less than what I am truly capable of....

The things I have done, I did easily... even though for 99% of people, it would be an impossible mission. That's why people admire me. But to me, it felt like picking dim. As far as achievements go, it's simple: I didn't put in the effort, so I don't consider it an achievement...

What has been hard for me in life is everything I *didn't* do, or everything I had to do but messed up. All the anxiety of all that, all the lies I used to cover myself, the outbursts of anger, the stress...... because of all that, it feels like I've walked an incredibly thorny path in life. And everything I actually managed to do feels like it just fell from the sky. Because when I actually want something (meaning *me*, not my subconscious), I just can't force it, and it is sooooo difficult... but then again, I know what I'm capable of... and if I actually manage to finish something like that—then I feel proud, but usually, such a thing isn't even worth praising...

That's weird... I guess...