Posts by northernseal6

I’m honestly over hearing endless life stories, it’s just boring.
It isn't even just about husbands; it feels like women are always the ones calling their moms to come bail them out.
The drama of who stepped on whom is exhausting, but I really think it's unfair to expect only moms to do all the heavy lifting at home,
while the dads just sit there. I don't get it—I read the topic, so I should be allowed to say what irritates me, right? Or am I supposed to apologize for having an opinion?

ironjackal20 said:Look, if we're talking about real consequences, I was actually the first in line when I got fired after 15 years at the same company. It happened right after I brought in a doctor's note regarding complications from IVF treatments. So what now? Am I supposed to end it all because my standing as a woman in America has been undermined? I'm fully aware of the big picture... and honestly, I'm happy because I don't have to deal with those people anymore, and I achieved my goal of getting pregnant. Life isn't just black and white. What looks like a stroke of luck to one person might be a tragedy to someone else, and vice versa.🙂.

If someone is willing to support you and you're cool with being supported, then go for it!
Some women wouldn't even be able to have their own kids if they hadn't lost their jobs, simply because they wouldn't have been able to afford to feed them.

Ugh, please, save the eye-rolling for someone else. I’ve just started getting really annoyed by women who act like their moms should be doing everything for them, especially when they treat all the housework and childcare like it's somehow "women's work." If this debate is getting on your nerves, just say the word because
this thread is specifically about what bugs you during pregnancy.

ironjackal20 said:At the end of the day, doesn't it just come down to whether those two people are on the same page in their own home?

If a woman is happy with her life—handling everything from cooking and cleaning to her career and childcare—who are we to judge her?

I try to explain that things work differently in our household, because my mom and I often lose our minds because all the guys in the family feel obligated to finish every single chore that specific day or weekend 🙂 so, we're just stuck at the opposite extreme 😉.

Unfortunately, that's not the whole story. Nobody said anyone should be judged,
but we really need to change some deep-seated societal attitudes. Personally, I don't
feel threatened at work or at home, but that doesn't mean women in today's
society aren't still being exploited—like getting fired because they got pregnant,
handling all the housework and kids while working the same hours as men. Or even more, then coming home to iron shirts and prep tomorrow's lunch. Some women do this simply because they DON'T KNOW any better and think
it's their DUTY. If we just leave things as they are and stay silent, women still wouldn't have the vote, would depend on men, and would have even fewer choices in life. Honestly, explaining the status of women feels silly. It's like saying you aren't affected by the war in Iraq or famine in Africa.

ironjackal20 said:Go back and read all my previous posts; you'll see exactly what this specific thread is addressing.
And why would you assume we aren't an average family? That's how most households live in California. Do you really think life is perfectly balanced just in big cities or high-rise apartments?

I'm talking about people who DON'T live in a house or a mansion, and don't have a yard, woods, a farm, or a vineyard. Still waiting on an answer there.
My heart starts racing constantly—it's been going on for 17 weeks now. If I don't hear from her after I get upset or something, I just spiral into total panic.

ironjackal20 said:And my flooring😉

It's tough for jadejackal to understand how a massive property compares to a tiny apartment on the fifth floor.

Neither my mom nor I can realistically expect our husbands to vacuum the house and cook lunch before they go out to tend the vineyard or the orchards, especially since we're busy with farm work ten months out of the year. Our guys are incredibly hardworking and never complain about the labor; honestly, I'm lucky to have three men like that in my life.

And yeah... weekends don't really exist for us unless it happens to be a major holiday... most weekends are just working days.☕...

Nobody was talking about people like your dad or your husband.
We’re talking about the average American family living in a 500-square-foot apartment. Both the wife and the husband work through their pregnancies. So, who does the chores? Him or her? Why not both?
I’m trying to talk about equality—meaning housework, yard work, and everything else should be split up. If he handles the garden, the weeding, the harvesting, or mowing, then she can handle the vacuuming, cooking, laundry, and cleaning. Or they can just divvy it up based on what works for them.
If you only live in an apartment, how do you divide the labor if he’s terrible at vacuuming, can't mop, doesn't know how to cook, or is totally useless with diapers, putting the baby to sleep, or hanging up the laundry?
What happens when she goes back to work and is pulling 8-hour shifts or more? On top of all the housework, there’s also the kid. Or multiple kids. How does that even work?

John Wilson9 said:It’s honestly ridiculous how people call it "slavery" when a guy just wants to crash after work. I don't know what kind of women they're talking about then—the ones whose husbands never lift a single finger around the house ☕
Me? I’ve basically been on vacation for a week staying at my mom’s place... He gets home around 5, maybe takes a quick breather, then hits the books or starts tackling stuff like cleaning his room, organizing the closet, painting, whatever. If things need doing, he'll vacuum or toss a load of laundry in... but seriously, where is he supposed to find more time? I'm the one cooking lunch every day, doing the ironing, and handling all that other stuff 🤷
At the end of the day, if a couple works out this way and they're both happy, why does everyone have to jump down their throats calling women "slaves" and men "useless"??? 🙄

I won't comment on everything, but I mostly agree with Nathan Kelly.
And this bolded part totally won me over again. So, housework is a woman's job, and the man helps out. Great. Lucky us!
I forgot to ask the ones who go to their moms where only their moms help them. Where's the dad?

Man, it’s honestly no surprise that women end up with less space in certain industries compared to men.
There's just nothing we can do about it.

Charles Moore49 said:First off: Excuse me? That’s not how it works at all because it really does depend on the woman, and honestly, it depends on who he's going to rely on...I don't think there's a single man out there who is going to grab a screaming infant right out of someone's arms and insist, "let me soothe them," or step up and say, "don't worry, I'll handle this diaper change"...so, in reality, it actually does depend on you, specifically regarding how much space you provide and how much you encourage him to step up...

And personally, I still believe gender plays a role here...since I'm not talking about mothers who happen to love their biological children less than the father does...

Look, I really don't like your takes. Honestly, it feels like you're just projecting this onto your husband, your boyfriend, or whatever. You're describing my boyfriend, my friends, most of my friends' partners, and I can't even recognize my own dad in your descriptions! Why would I even consider having a kid with someone who wouldn't step up and say they'll soothe the baby or change a diaper?
It’s not even unrealistic to say there are men out there who wouldn't change their own kid's diaper, because I know plenty of them. It's wild to me that anyone thinks that's okay.
So, basically, a woman is a "bad mother" if she loves her kid less than the man does. Well, is he a "bad father" if he loves the kid less than she does? Or is it just normal and natural for both parents to love them equally?
🤣

Jerry Bailey47 said:Unlike my husband—who apparently doesn't care if there’s a layer of dust on the floor—I actually have standards. It bothers me. Why? Who knows—it's probably just in my DNA. 🤷

Because—let's be honest—not all of us were lucky enough to land husbands or fathers who actually give a damn about helping out around the house. They know. To get things done. My husband, for instance— He wants it. I have to tell him to mop the floor, vacuum, or load the dishwasher—not because he actually cares about the dust or the dirty plates, mind you—but... Not exactly how it was supposed to be done—clearly. I don't have much to say on this—not that anyone asked. He certainly knows his way around—and he’s got the skills to back it up, too.Yeah, same here—honestly. Not up to par. I’d honestly rather have my mother—or even my mother-in-law—staying with us than deal with his way of doing things. He can handle the basics—changing the baby's diaper, keeping an eye on them while I hit the Peloton, running to Target, washing the car, or handling the bills at Chase—but the cleaning? Forget it. You really can't teach an old dog new tricks, believe me. ☕

I hate a mess, but being a woman doesn't mean cleaning is in my DNA.
It isn't about luck to have a dad or husband who wants to or knows how to do chores. It's about luck to have a partner like that. Why should women be expected to know how to do everything perfectly while men don't? A man who can't vacuum as well as I can is just a lazy bum. Period. Including mine. Vacuuming isn't rocket science.

Charles Moore49 said:Regarding that first bolded part—I couldn't agree more...

But I completely disagree with the second point...
Matthew Robinson29 is incredibly excited about our little one, and he plans to be just as hands-on as I am regarding all the caretaking, and his entire face just lights up whenever our baby is mentioned...
I truly believe he is going to be a wonderful father, overflowing with love...
My goal is to involve him as much as possible in every single aspect of our child's life, so that he never feels unnecessary or left out for even a moment...

But... but...
I have been lying down since my twelfth week until, well, almost the very end, and I have spent this entire pregnancy trembling with anxiety, riding through waves of depression, hysteria, and pure euphoria...
I am the one who felt every single tiny movement and kick of my baby against my heart during those moments when I genuinely feared I might not make it through the pregnancy...
I am the one carrying this baby through all these weeks and months... it's me, not Matthew Robinson29...
He loves and he wants this, and he is so empathetic, but he will never truly be able to understand...
My body has endured every single one of these transformations, and I am the one bringing a new life into this world, so in my eyes, there is a much, much deeper divide between me and Matthew Robinson29 than just the fact that he cannot give birth and breastfeed...

Your plan is to involve him as much as possible so he doesn't feel neglected. But when you put it that way, it sounds like you're saying it's "your" plan and he's just following along, as if it all depends on you. Of course, a man can't know exactly how a woman feels during pregnancy, but that doesn't mean he won't be just as attentive and great of a parent once the baby arrives. Plus, a mother can love her child less than a father does. It's about the individual, not gender.

John Wilson9 said:Props to anyone who thinks they can pull it all off solo, but honestly? I can't even imagine it. Like, I can't picture myself being the one stuck with the baby while my husband plays chef, makes lunch, vacuums, mops, does the dishes, handles the laundry, changes diapers, runs to Target, and actually hangs out with us... etc., etc. If he even manages to snag some downtime, I'm pretty sure it’s gonna be a struggle right from the start. 😵 Same here. And honestly, I definitely wouldn't have expected him to tackle all the housework with the same level of focus he’s putting in right now. 🤷

If you set things up that way, I don't know how you'll manage once you head back to work. Everything stays the same, except now you're both working full-time.
And look, you don't need to vacuum and mop every single day or hit the big supermarkets constantly. You can make enough soup for two days, the laundry basically takes care of itself, and folding clothes only takes five minutes.
I'm not saying you shouldn't ask for help, but it surprises me that everyone assumes moms need constant assistance. My dad knows how to cook and clean just fine. 😉

jadejackal, I’m not even picking on anyone specific here, but it’s awesome that the older generation is stepping up to help. Seriously. The real issue is this outdated mindset where men aren't expected to chip in with housework, changing diapers, or watching the grandkids. It's like people still think women were just born to scrub floors, iron clothes, and deal with messy diapers.
It’s more about this deep-seated social injustice that everyone just accepts as totally normal.

jadejackal said:🤣
Of everything you listed, what really gets under my skin is the whole "Mom [Last Name]" thing—you know, when people address you at the doctor's office or anywhere else by calling you "Mom" instead of using your actual name? It just feels... off. I have a name, after all; feel free to just call me Mrs. [Last Name] if you must!

As for the moms and grandmas who step up to help out—I am 100% on board with that. I’ll take help from anyone I can, and I don't see anything wrong with it at all. 😁
Why should my partner and I be completely wiped out from exhaustion if grandparents, aunts, or anyone else is willing to lend a hand? 🤷

Look, I don't mind if someone's mom helps out, I just don't get why the dads never show up to help. Unless they're stuck in a wheelchair, I guess? 😉

Jerry Bailey47 said:Exactly. If you put in thirty to sixty minutes of maintenance every single day, your place shouldn't look like a disaster zone. A friend of mine has a one-year-old and also babysits another infant—all squeezed into a tiny 500-square-foot apartment with her mother. Every time I visit, whether it's 10 AM or 6 PM, the floors are a sticky mess—juice, crumbs, God knows what else. Look, I get that you're managing two kids, but there is no excuse for the floor to be that filthy by evening after one child has left, especially with two adults present... it's laziness, plain and simple. 🤷 And then she has the nerve to tell me, "You'll see." Well, I guess we'll see. ☕

I don't get the whole thing about the two women. Is tidying up somehow hardwired into female DNA while men are exempt?😕

The way people say "wittle baby," "sweetie pie," or "little munchkin" drives me absolutely crazy. I just say "child," but apparently that isn't "motherly" enough.
Also, hearing the word "mommy" used in every single context—at the doctor, at daycare, even on this forum—really bugs me.
It blows my mind how everyone acts shocked when I say I want my child to take my last name. I honestly don't see any reason why a kid should automatically carry the father's name instead of mine.
It really irritates me when women call their moms to come over and clean or cook after they give birth, yet they rarely mention their husbands, boyfriends, or dads helping out. Sure, not everyone can cook, but anyone can wash dishes, vacuum, or run to the grocery store. Everything else is just an excuse.
And it totally gets under my skin when people claim women are more naturally bonded to kids, or that we want them more, or that we're better at changing and bathing them. From where I'm standing, the only difference between me and a guy is that he can't give birth or breastfeed.
P.S. Obviously, I'm excited about my baby and I love them!🙂
Alright, go ahead and tear me apart.

northerncrane4 said:I actually saw Eric Jackson68 and his little crew. Šorak in second place? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!? Kitano standing right in front of Tulpan? 🙄

Eric Jackson68, are you a lighthouse keeper's son or just a memory thief?
🤣🙏

Black men are fine, but Alice in Wonderland and I Believe in Angels are creepy—the first one was pretty bad.
It was filmed, directed, written, and acted, but basically, it looks like Šorak got "cheated" out of his own
movie. Actually, most of this stuff works for Angels too.
The Washington, D.C. stories are great: Smart Neighborhood, Inkasator, and Yellow Moon.
Istvančić's is creepy, even offensive. Sudar's is just pathetically mediocre. As for the others,
I barely remember them.
Hitrec is okay—beautifully shot and beautifully acted, but I still can't quite decide how I feel about the movie.
Proximity works for me, though unfortunately Damir Klemenic acts way worse than he actually can. Anica
Kovacevic is actually better than expected, and it’s all beautifully shot within that tiny elevator,
but the movie isn't boring at all.
I missed Penelope; you really need to take a few hours to recover, and I just didn't have the patience for
those five-minute shots of absolutely nothing.
Then there's Fool—brilliant opening! That car ride and the devils on the radio totally won me over.
Pivac deserves a Golden Arena for the cinematography.🙂 The acting is also pretty solid, making it my favorite film so far.
I doubt Love life of a home guard will ever knock it off my number one spot.😁

Great movie, though I might be the only one who actually sat through it with a seven-year-old at the theater.
Pure bliss. Huge shoutout to Cinemark for the soundproofing—or lack thereof. Aside from people chatting and being gross with their popcorn, we got a full soundtrack of some action flick playing in the next room. Total joke.🙄

Patrick Garcia76 said:This year they ditched the audience jury entirely! Instead, anyone with a ticket could vote by rounding their scores right on the stub, and those tickets were only - $3.25 ! That’s why even Patty went out and grabbed some, sacrificing $667. Not even close. 👎

From what I recall, it was the same deal last year—anyone who bought a ticket got a vote.
And please, stop acting like you're her aunt when you're actually her aunt-in-law.😛

Two Players isn't a bad movie.😉 The acting is decent enough—Borko Perić was great, and even Tarik wasn't half bad. It’s funny in parts and definitely doesn't drag. Maybe it's a bit amateurish, but honestly, who cares? I've seen way worse and way better over the last year. I'd give it at least a 3.😛
Amy Mendoza25, you really think you know everything, don't you?😍