...I could definitely keep going with the copy/paste thing. I’m honestly just fed up with Kenny; he’s such a jerk anyway...👋 Jonathan Reed4, what do you think? If you're down, I'll keep it moving. And if you agree, maybe Kenny will finally shut his trap, hehehe
The bank account is bone dry, and the designer clothes are officially out of reach The kingdom of illusion looks like paradise from a distance but once you see the rot underneath, it's all just chaos and madness & nothing but mindless compliance to some hollow, lifeless rule
Count me out I’d much rather grab a bite with my best friends than deal with the Giant family
I'm terrified of being alone; I just can't seem to get used to it. I'm scared I’ll actually die from a broken heart when my mom passes away—I feel so weak. I'm honestly just overwhelmed and feeling completely lost!!!
Man, seriously, he was way braver than the crew of the Enterprise... just him out there alone, armed with nothing but his heart. And you’re telling me he didn't kiss her? Did you even see his mother's expression? I mean, what were you looking at, or rather, what *weren't* you seeing? From what perspective were you even watching? hm The admiral, Vietnam—it's likely his own mother didn't love him much... and he ended up dying from love, just that stupid masculine pride. His son fought just to prove himself to her. He loved women in a way that was almost sickly; he couldn't be rough or cause scenes, he was just weak when it came to women... and he felt he could only prove himself to his dad one way: through a brave act, a conscious self-destruction. Death was calling his name, and he was terrified, but he wasn't allowed to be. It wasn't about the courage to die... honestly, everyone needs parents who are at least somewhat on the same page. amen
I just can't help but love Barrett. Love keeps me grounded, and honestly, the more selfish we act, the more Fear starts creeping in from that hollow void inside us.😉 Sometimes I just find myself singing: "I don't want to live in the projects, I hate the whole wide world!"😉 Now, psychoanalysts—well, maybe just one of them gets it perfectly—say that HATRED and LOVE are basically two sides of the same coin in nature and the unconscious. They follow totally different logic down there. For the more sensitive folks out there, they say the secret is just peacefully accepting both the love and the hate you feel for someone. Seriously, give it a shot, it’s amazing!! hahaha It’s like what Shakespeare wrote about things being illegal, though I might be off on that one. Personally, I’d put together a photo gallery of some hardcore neurotics like Sartre, Kierkegaard, and Dostoevsky... mostly because of how they looked! And then there's Morrison, who was self-destructive to a fault but still loved deeply (Tom, you're such a dummy... hahaha... and if you want the ultimate example of a neurotic whose impulse for self-aggression hits home, look at Jesus of Nazareth... or even Peter Pan, that eternal kid who, when faced with death, just shrugged and said, "Death? Just another adventure." That is pure madness!) The perfect example of sublimation? Me. The rational system actually builds itself right out of the wreckage of the ego. It's brilliant... cheers to Complexes !!!!
...for who!? For myself!! Maybe even for some potential angel out there, because who knows? Maybe our little universes will collide one day. Just convince me that life is beautiful, even when it breaks every rule and law in the book.
Love Hides Love hides in the strangest places Love hides in familiar faces Love comes when you least expect it Love hides in narrow corners Love comes for those who seek it Love hides inside the rainbow, yeah Love is everywhere, yeah Love is the answer
..some future version of me🙂 ...and the whole world is my kingdom I’m making peace with the great unknown growing stronger under a sky full of wandering stars standing solo, but never really feeling alone I don't need anyone's permission 😉 Long live death, long live life.. Richard Murphy6 is gone, long live Richard Murphy6
When Mickey says he’s feeling the Fear he isn't kidding around he’s got a total phobia of earthquakes living way up in the hills
When Mickey says he’s feeling the Fear you can see it right there in his eyes numbing the pain with cheap bourbon no chance of him lying to you now
When Mickey says he’s feeling the Fear his legs start shaking like crazy he went out and bought one of those fancy Teslas and now everyone's just making fun of him
When Mickey says he’s feeling the Fear the whole world turns gray so I order him another round and head on out
And out on the street, everywhere you look there's a branch of Wells Fargo with bureaucrats crawling out of them Man, folks, now I get it—I'm terrified! Only now do I truly understand what fear is and honestly? I'm scared too
When Mickey says he’s feeling the Fear he’s worried sick about his daughter wondering if she'll need pills she's only thirteen years old
When Mickey says he’s feeling the Fear it feels like I'm stepping off a cliff my stomach turns, I'm breaking out in a sweat I feel like throwing up🙂 Took a little break out in the countryside... huh, recharged the batteries, did some thinking... tried to "put it all together"... did pretty well, actually. I'm going to lay low for another bit... and this song, ah, brings back a little nostalgia... a glimpse of my old self😛
Tonight, I had to face the fact all over again: anxiety is this terrifyingly beautiful, divine thing! I can feel the octane pumping through my veins, that pressure building up in my head—but hey, so what! THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO FOR ANY OF US
that just isn't how I roll, man I've dated plenty of women but none of them ever hit like she did
I loved everything about her she lived right across the street and she always had me whenever she wanted
the streets this bloated city those weird thoughts spinning in her head the world neither good nor bad there's no room left for new ideas for people like us
people call out my name and I just smile back at them, feeling great those damn lies meant for the naive and honestly, I don't care Fear doesn't touch me there's nothing I can do for any of us I don't give a damn about the petty bickering or the money we all need to survive and frankly, I don't care I'm not afraid there's nothing I can do for any of us
So, I was planning on just chilling for the afternoon—you know, lie down, maybe catch a quick nap. But instead, I ended up stuck in that weird limbo right between being awake and falling asleep. I didn't even realize I had drifted off. The dream felt incredibly real. The plot wasn't even anything special, but then out of nowhere, I started feeling this unbearable Fear inside the dream. It hit me as actual physical pain—this massive, pounding headache that just kept ramping up and up at a terrifying speed. That was the only moment I actually "realized" or hoped that I might "just" be dreaming. So, with that tiny sliver of conscious thought left, I decided to just ride it out. I figured, "Fine, let's face the Fear," even thinking maybe it could be some kind of healing thing... but man, it was impossible. It was too much because I wasn't even 100% sure I was dreaming, and the fear just kept intensifying... I finally jolted awake with the last bit of strength I had, totally disoriented and nursing a killer headache. It didn't last long (call it a nightmare, I guess)... honestly, damn the day I ever learned about the subconscious. What a mess, living a life where your subconscious runs the show instead of you. My friends turned their backs on me, my own brother betrayed me, and I've lost every single battle so far, but I'm still fighting the war🙂 hehehe, I’ve still got enough gas in the tank for a little self-deprecating humor... I'll pull myself through this even if it's the last thing I ever do......😎
Honestly, all I need to do is take a quick look back at my past, or even peer further into the future, and it hits me instantly—as clear as day—that my life is just a total mess! The thing is, I’m pretty damn sure I’m partly to blame for all this... which sucks, because I’m fully aware that it isn't just everyone else's fault either. Sure, every now and then I’ll stumble upon some beautiful sentiment or catch a glimpse of a friendly face, but the sad part is knowing that I am also part of that—I know exactly who I am and what I'm not. It’s a bummer, really. I know that I am everything, yet I am completely alone. But hey, that’s exactly what I wanted. Sometimes I feel like opening up to someone about how I’m feeling or what’s spinning around in my head, but there’s really no point. I’ve been trying to do that my whole life. Depending on how you look at it, you could call my state of mind depression, or maybe a mental illness, or even just being an extreme introvert... but from where I'm standing? It's nothingness. That’s where I find my peace.😉 Ondda when I feel like having it, or pure chaos when I get bored... or Fear when I realize I've started acting just like everyone else!! Anyway the wind blows....
DIRE STRAITS - Passionate Trouble... or as George from Surrealist Comedy would put it, just pure chaos
Private Investigations Inc.
Honestly, it’s a total mystery to me—the whole game kicks off for the standard rate—plus whatever costs I rack up digging through confidential info—like some secrets buried in a diary look, this is my own private investigation—not some Senate hearing!
So, I’m out there hitting the pavement—really digging up the dirty laundry you run into all kinds of characters in this business, believe me betrayal and backstabbing—people will find any excuse for it and even when I finally figure out why, it still hits me just as hard—FACT
And after all that grinding, what do you actually have to show for it? what’s the payoff? Just a bottle of bourbon and a fresh batch of lies Windows and a pain behind The eyes Scarred for Life
Totally scarred for life—and don't expect a settlement check Private Investigations Inc. May these sanctions last forever!!!🙂
Look, my first impression isn't exactly mind-blowing. Still, Castaneda’s descriptions of how hallucinogens hit are pretty fascinating. I can tell there's a lot of truth tucked away in what Vracev says, though I'm definitely going to have to sweat a little to really crack the symbolism behind his words... especially when you consider the era this was written in (the 60s, if I remember correctly right!!??) Castaneda’s own breakdown of it all feels way too broad and abstract for me... but hey, it's a decent attempt and a pretty gutsy move on his part. The big takeaway for me—at least for now, since I plan on re-reading this book a few more times along with the rest of the series—is that part where Vracev explains that Castaneda basically has to figure it out on his own. That’s where Castaneda gets stuck (for good reason, too) and just cuts it off... Because of my anxiety disorder, I’m always drawn to stuff involving the subconscious... Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty down and full of Fear, and I used to tell myself: "Man, this isn't fair... everyone else seems to have had some kind of teacher, mentor, or guru... someone to interpret things and guide them through the woods, even just a little bit. Like to eat and such." I'm on my own. I would give anything to have someone to lead and teach me. There's even that old saying: "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"... and honestly, I'm more ready than I've ever been. I'm not going to rush it; I'll take my time working through the rest of the books.... It is interesting, though, how Castaneda mentions that anxiety before taking any drugs (whether it's mescaline, weed, or Dim) yet he handles that "deep dive into the subconscious" so well. To me, he comes across as this totally cool, rational, scientific guy—probably super mentally stable. I don't really get his motivation at all... but then again, I've only read this once, pretty superficially... and I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style; it felt overcomplicated to me. Lately, I've only really appreciated simple styles, like Coelho and stuff like that. My brain has been a bit mushy the last few days, so I'm struggling to find the right words to explain exactly what I didn't like about it... I found Vracev’s explanation of why the raven shape is chosen so interesting (since ravens are respected by Native Americans, and Zagor even has one on his shirt... etc) To be honest, I can only say I've grasped a little bit of it right now. Still, I'm glad I pushed myself to read it because I've been sitting around being lazy lately, which is basically fuel for my condition... and maybe even a symptom of it..... I'm really curious about your take on death—you know, when you realized that it wasn't something to feel Fear toward. I'm not scared right now, but I don't feel like it's helping me much either, other than the fact that it's no longer an obsession causing my depression and restlessness... I'm back to feeling sluggish, and I feel like everything is tied back to that Fear (which wasn't the only thing, but it was useless and stupid... Talk soon... or as Twixy would say, let's keep typing! 😉
Fredy... man, you are something else... haha! LOL Insanity is laughing because we're all just cracking Don't we deserve just one more shot at it? Why can't we just give love one more chance? Why can't we just give love, give love, give love, give love give love, give love, give love, give love, give love Cause love's such an old fashioned word And love dares you to care for The people on the edge of the night And loves Cause love's such an old fashioned word dares you to change how we care about ourselves This is our last dance This is our last dance This is ourselves Under Pressure Under Pressure Pressure 😉
Brian Moore2, I picked up Castned and just cruised through it, nice and easy, all the way to page 85 where he first lays out those four enemies of man. Honestly? It’s pretty brilliant. Not bad at all... huh. Anyway, I'm gonna go grab a quick walk. It hit me maybe three or four days ago—I realized I don't fear death anymore. This was actually before I even started the book. I just remembered some things Uranus said, and it felt like I finally grasped the true river of what was being written. It's wild to me that this hasn't clicked for me sooner, because once you see it, it's just so obvious and simple... I'm dying to know what the wizard has to say about it!!!!!!!!
...I honestly thought I didn't have anything left to care about but man, was I wrong—having working AC is definitely something I care about now I really believed the true river idea that just having a room was enough to exist—except my room is sitting at a blistering 104 degrees right now (maybe I took things too literally again🙂 I bet you wanted to see me crawling around, begging a dragon for help... and that's exactly what I did. But what are you gonna do? Just keep stubbornness running the show, I guess It’s exhausting trying to carry all these realizations, whether it's half of them, a fifth, or just a tiny fraction It is so easy to just push everything down... and hey, you actually still have the energy to keep pushing it all away My own words are turning against me😉
Man, you’re lucky! At least you got to know your grandma late in the game... and hey, you've actually got some creative spark in you! Honestly, I always pictured myself having this tough, fighter mom and a super gentle dad, but life doesn't exactly follow the script we write for it, does it? It’s sweltering out here, and honestly, my mental defenses have just completely worn thin. Everything I thought I knew? Poof, gone. Forgotten. It’s just me and this nagging paranoia left over. I'm breaking out in a cold sweat, but then—boom—it turns hot again right away. So, here I am, stuck in this spot. I'm terrified of moving forward, yet even more scared of retreating... and I'm basically tripping over my own feet in front of everyone. It’s a total, absolute, massive lie! Just pure deception, squared! And then, suddenly, these divine sirens bring all the traffic to a grinding halt as if the stoplights are trying their hardest to dim down and barely glow while strangers just keep marching straight ahead and life settles down, smooth as milk in a glass. Well, what can you do about it?!
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life from Monty Python's Life of Brian Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say. Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, Don't grumble, give a whistle! And this'll help things turn out for the best... And... the music fades into the song
...Always Look on the Bright Side of Life! whistle
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life... If life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten! And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,
When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps, Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing! And... Always Look on the Bright Side of Life...
whistle Come on!
others start to join in Always Look on the Bright Side of Life... whistle
For life is quite absurd, And death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow! Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin, Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!
So Always Look on the Bright Side of Life! Just before you draw your terminal breath. Life's a piece of sh*t, When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true, You'll see it's all a show, Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you!
And Always Look on the Bright Side of Life... whistle Always Look on the Bright Side of Life whistle
lifeAlways Look on the Bright Side of Life Always Look on the Bright Side of Life death!sh*t,
..since I'm feeling pretty indecisive, I've decided I'm done writing stuff anywhere, and I won't be visiting the IMF anymore—maybe I'll pick up a book once in a while! There's just too much I'll never wrap my head around regarding certain situations, people, or how things are going... honestly, I don't even care anymore. But one thing is driving me crazy... where is Wildeva!!?? I'm not quite sure why, probably because of the horses... they're supposed to be symbols of strength and freedom, right? I'm going to print out this whole thread, ignore the Fear, and just tuck it away in a drawer. I’ll be putting a lot of things in drawers like that. The real question is whether I'll ever find the guts and the strength to actually read it... and if I'll ever truly understand any of it. farewell death is the only truth, and you have to embrace the truth for your entire life if that's what you're aiming for... though the question remains, why aim for it at all? I want to thank Mr. Vladimir Gruden, who I love like family, for everything—for the scraps of hope and those little flashes of clarity I've had. When exactly were we kicked out of paradise, and when does it become time for every individual to find it again here on Earth in everything around us... how much pleasure and comfort is enough, and how much should we ration? Where is this all heading, is it just evolution!!?' What's the point of it all!!?? And even he says there are no answers, just no questions...... I'm going back to my old ways; I just don't have the energy, the will, or the motivation... but I can handle the suffering... at least I've learned how to do that... at least I'm sure of that.
Satisfaction, Satisfaction 'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try I can't get no, I can't get no
I can't get no. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey That's what I say Satisfaction, Satisfaction 'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try I can't get no, I can't get no