Posts by hiddentrucker16

Sandra Walker4 said:It’s obvious it happens, and often. But family is everything at the start. So many broken hearts and much of this suffering stem from unstable homes. Someone who fears showing emotion, someone who handles it poorly and hurts others, or someone who clings desperately to one person until it turns into mania because they were starved for affection—they always end up looking like the villain. Family lays the foundation for how we act later. Emotional instability in childhood leads directly to unstable relationships and marriages down the road.

A lot of people fear emotion. They suppress it and act cold toward everyone, even their own kids. There's this ruthless coolness everywhere, but usually, that indifference is why people go looking for happiness elsewhere. In reality, they've been stifled and repressed by their upbringing, so they turn to whiskey, cocaine, or a syringe to cope.

I know I might be talking about myself too much, even though nobody asked. I also realize I might be exhausting with how I present my views, but hey, nobody's perfect.

Because of those cold family ties, I find myself needing to hug a pillow if I'm not with a girl. If I don't feel someone or something is there for me, it becomes unbearable. I feel alone, unloved, abandoned. In those moments of crushing loneliness, I quietly absorb the smiles and happiness of others just to make living in this world feel a little more bearable.

Basically, those who have gone through what I have can grow in two different directions. One group thinks feelings mean nothing; they see emotion as a weakness and would slap someone for crying tears of joy. The other group, like me, are typical beggars searching for a shred of love and understanding, often trampling our own egos just to get it.

I hope parents are reading this. I want to scare them a little by showing how much responsibility they actually carry. Questioning your own parenting is never a bad thing.

Perhaps that’s true—my own psychiatrists suggest I’ve become cynical, bitter, and deeply disillusioned because my parents divorced. They argue that it was my first encounter with betrayal—that since my parents' love wasn't meant to last, why should I believe anyone else's will? Am I somehow at fault simply because they didn't love each other? Am I to blame for being born out of a moment of passion and intensity that—evidently—wasn't enough to overcome... well, whatever it is people usually manage to conquer quite successfully and happily? I have always felt like some sort of fundamental error—insecure, sensitive, a pessimist through and through. And despite my youth, I am profoundly distrustful; honestly, when someone tries to tell me that being young is inherently wonderful, bright, and vibrant, I feel a sudden, visceral urge to just shut them down entirely. Though, I suppose it is a bit foolish to pin every misfortune I face on my family dynamic—parents are only one part of our lives, important as they may be. We don't choose our gender, our looks, or even where we live, so why should we have any say in who our parents are? In many ways, we are simply born without autonomy. Still, I love my parents. I love my mom and my dad. I try my best to respect their various partners, even if the whole situation grates on my nerves—moving between Mom’s place for lunch and then over to Dad’s, only to deal with the inevitable friction. If I mention that Mom is more progressive than Dad, he gets defensive; if I suggest that Dad is actually a decent man despite his flaws, Mom takes offense. It’s all rather exhausting.

Quincy:

I am acutely aware that I might be dwelling on my own experiences a bit too much—even though, strictly speaking, no one actually asked for my input—and I realize I can be somewhat exhausting when I begin laying out my various positions. But then again, if we are looking for perfection, I suppose we should all just hold our breath and wait for someone else to chime in.

Oh, please—don't trouble yourself with unnecessary concern; just keep writing. 👍

Quincy:

Because of certain... let's call them chilly family dynamics—it’s a bit of a cold front at home lately—I find myself needing to hug a pillow whenever I'm not with my girlfriend. It sounds trivial, perhaps, but if I don't feel someone—or something—standing right there beside me, it becomes unbearable. There is this overwhelming sensation of being utterly alone, unloved, and just... left behind. In those moments of intense isolation, I find myself quietly, almost imperceptibly, absorbing the smiles and the happiness of others passing by. It isn't much, I know, but it makes living in this world feel just a little more tolerable—perhaps even a little more meaningful.

I find myself in a similar predicament regarding my own romantic history—it’s honestly quite a mess of unnecessary drama and sheer melodrama, if I’m being perfectly honest with myself. I really am quite terrible at this. First, I’ll settle for someone I don't even particularly like, telling myself—with a certain level of misplaced confidence—that it doesn't matter because I don't actually believe in love anyway. It feels like a safe bet, doesn't it? If I don't care, they can't hurt me; there's no risk of disappointment if there was never any investment to begin with. And yet—despite all that mental posturing—I inevitably spiral into these intense, codependent cycles where I suddenly can't function for a single day without them, enduring every slight and lack of respect just to keep the connection alive. And for what? Then, by some cruel twist of fate, I actually meet someone I truly respect—someone with whom the connection is so effortless and profound that I find myself questioning if such a thing even exists in reality. And what do I do? Instead of leaning into that beauty, I let my own neuroses, my irrational anger, and this pervasive, inexplicable distrust take the wheel. I sabotage the entire thing with my own suspicious behavior and erratic moods before it even has a chance to bloom. Because, heaven forbid, things should actually go well for me. I suppose I just wasn't raised with enough happy endings to trust them when they finally arrive—it leaves me perpetually, frustratingly skeptical.

It seems I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent myself—it appears I’ve managed to pivot quite seamlessly from discussing narcotics to the complexities of romance...

Sandra Walker4 said:If I had to choose between my terminally ill child living a lifetime of misery—where "winning" just means dulling the constant pain rather than finding any actual joy—or opting for an artificially induced relief, I’d take the latter. I couldn't bear to watch someone I love suffer like that. My upbringing was all about grit, sacrifice, and fighting through the dirt. Maybe I'm making the mistake of assuming others shouldn't have to live the way I did, but hey, I'm only human. I'm here to make mistakes.

Addiction doesn't destroy mental health; it's the consequence of a mind that's already been destroyed. People just refuse to grasp that.

The problem is that when I write like this, people immediately assume I'm defending or even promoting drug use. That isn't true. I just want people to be happy—if it's even possible without substances—through simple things like music, dancing, and the small joys life occasionally offers.

But you can't find happiness without stable families, love, and understanding. Love is what fills that final void.

I find myself nodding along here; just a few thoughts from my side regarding 👍 👍

The issue—and it truly is an issue—is that whenever I write like this, people immediately assume I’m defending, or heaven forbid, promoting addiction, which couldn't be further from the truth. My only aim is for people to find happiness—assuming, of course, that such a thing is possible without substances—through a little music, dance, and the simple joys that the small things in life can offer....

But true fulfillment requires stable family dynamics, love, and mutual understanding , because love is what finally fills that ultimate void....

I agree with this point as well 😍 😍 though I should probably add that even love can be deeply unsettling or even destructive when it stems from disappointment or being wounded—heartbreak can be quite tragic... hm, hm, ah 🤣 🤣 and, naturally, accompanied by that inevitable laughter....

Noah Sanchez7 said:I really have to thank you, truly.

If we argue that gay people didn't choose their orientation—which is a relative argument anyway—then we could also say addicts are just born with an "addictive personality," making the whole discussion moot.

Some people claim I'm promoting or glorifying drugs. Based on how they read my entire post...
Well, if that's the case, they completely missed the point.
The way you bring up gay people and compare addicts to pedophiles... that truly insults me.
Whether you think I'll rot in the ground while you drive around in a Mercedes, or say "it's better to have one less addict," it doesn't affect me at all. That only reflects on YOU.
It shows who you really are, quite accurately, because that is exactly what you are. And let me tell you, very few actual addicts "have the guts" to say things like that (and I mean true junkies, not the posers), which is why I will proudly stand on their side in every single way, even with a needle in my vein.
Because, my dear people, that will be my escape; that will be my happiness..
In that way, I will embrace death with open arms and fall into its lap, without ever casting a single glance back at miserable people like you.
Because my stomach has already started to fail me—not from drugs, but from the malice I can't seem to escape. I feel it everywhere I go.

There's no point arguing with you because truth means nothing to you. You are all just a rotten tooth.

That's all from me on this thread.

Well, you hit the nail on the head there—given how most people here tend to jump down your throat, the fact that you can still maintain a coherent thought process is actually somewhat impressive 👍
.
Quincy:

In that manner, I shall embrace death with open arms and fall into her lap, without casting so much as a single glance toward you miserable people. Because even my stomach has begun to fail me—not from substance abuse, mind you, but from the sheer malice I find impossible to escape; I feel it everywhere I turn.

Now, if only you could manage to be a bit more stubborn in the opposite direction—instead of declaring that you'll stand by the addict, needle in hand, and fall into the arms of death... do you honestly think anyone will care? Or rather, do you think it accomplishes anything beyond providing fodder for people to call you a coward who lacked the grit to actually fight? What are you trying to prove? To whom? To up99? Is there really no other path available to you? If it were for a cause, perhaps—but instead, you're doing it for nothing... do you truly believe "nothing" is worth such a gesture? You mentioned once, quite loftily, that fighting for the rights of addicts was a good idea—something along the lines of "this has to change"—and I must admit, that particular sentiment struck a chord with me, even if your delivery was a bit much.

George Ramirez11 said:I’m honestly not even sure who I should start quoting first... the one who prioritizes a predator over someone struggling with addiction, or the healthcare worker who clearly couldn't care less—because apparently, addiction isn't a disease, it's just some mindless, shapeless mass of people having a blast... or maybe it's the same person? I've stopped paying attention. I don't know why only 1% of people bother to step up when it's actually this simple. And what would be the point of me confessing? I just wanted to get it out there. It's pretty clear that nobody here (with the exception of those few who actually tried to offer something useful) can help me. I'll admit, I probably titled the thread wrong.
Nobody needs to worry about my child, let alone you guys. I feel my own pain plenty well enough, and my kid is this constant little angel whose pain I feel down to my very soul if they so much as scrape an elbow. God knows what other kind of pain exists.
Do you really think you have it all figured out just because you spend your days handing out tips to junkies? I'm not even going to go there.
I’m not looking for excuses, mostly because I haven't lost my mind—I see zero reason to justify myself to anyone HERE. I don't know why I would. Just because rehab isn't for everyone doesn't mean it's a magic fix; I was told that myself at a rehabilitation center, and I see crowds of people every single day who head straight back to their old habits the moment they walk out the doors. Most of the things you call "excuses" actually end in a question mark, if you'd bother to notice. At the end of the day, it comes down to willpower, and there's really no debate there.
Stay healthy, and I truly DON'T want any of you to see an addict when you look at your own children, because NO ONE is immune to darkness. But I DO want you to learn to think differently, even if it hurts or makes you miserable while your perspective shifts.
I never forced my opinion on anyone. I came here looking for support, and instead, I got pelted with stones. People called me an idiot who refuses to get clean, said I should have my child taken away, wished that my son would look at me with disgust, or hoped I’d drop dead within a year... I'm sorry I even sought you out. You really think you're the first ones to try using insults and aggression?
My only consolation is knowing that you either have no clue what you're talking about or you simply aren't thinking. You certainly don't know anything about me.
Go ahead, keep arguing and feeding each other's stubbornness and stupidity. I'm going to move on and look for help within myself and from people who actually give a damn.
Shame on you. Now you can go back to spitting on the depressed, the anxious, and the potentially suicidal... because I guess they're just more "idiots" who refuse help, right?
P.S. Again, thanks to the exceptions who offered supportive words, links, etc. That’s really all I was looking for. I've cried enough in my life that I'm not going to let some internet posts break me.

And this—this isn't judging, is it?

Noah Sanchez7 said:I don't know what to say to you, dear teenah...
But I just remembered that famous verse: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do"...

My gut tells me that your prejudice won't last much longer—actually, not much longer at all—because people are starting to realize the truth. For some, it's a slow process; for others, it happens fast.
Most people fall into the slow category. Since they are the majority, their opinions tend to carry more weight.
So, the slightly sharper minds are "condemned" by this injustice, and all that remains is for them to fight against it.
To fight in every way possible, even if it costs them their lives.

Evil, intolerance, and stupidity are things that slowly fade away. Let that be your light in the dark, because it certainly is mine.

Keep loving your little angel. Keep pushing forward, just like everyone else. Don't give up... Protect Him! 😘

Well, if nobody is actually condemning up99 or teenah, then where is this attitude coming from? Can anyone tell me if a person who writes something like this is actually a bad person?

I’ll just add one more thing—I really can’t defend myself against this, so please, give it a rest. Stop looking down on Noah Sanchez7 or claiming his way of thinking is somehow "horrific," because it simply isn't. You all were in the wrong, throwing around those vile comments—you know, the kind where people say things like, "You'll be food for worms while I'm cruising in my Mercedes." Honestly, having one less idiot around isn't the end of the world, and hiding behind the "majority versus minority" argument is just unfair; you shouldn't attack someone just because they don't align with the crowd... it's truly pathetic. It's perfectly clear why he reacted the way he did. Good grief, you're attacking him as if he's some sort of monster or the ultimate villain. It’s hardly surprising that he feels cornered—that he sees drugs as his only escape—whether he's actually promoting them for profit or not. Even if that were true, I can't find it in me to blame him. In an environment this cutthroat and judgmental, where everyone just piles on a single person, his mindset makes sense. Truly, I think I've had enough of this...

Less condemnation and a little more empathy—that's how we make things better.

George Davis6 said:Look, honey, being gay isn't someone's fault, and neither is mental illness... but being a drug addict? That's a choice, and there is a HUGE difference there! I didn't see anything in the text about judging people based on their sexual orientation.
And as for "rights"—I don't quite get the question? Are we not allowed to have our own opinions on things? Or are we just forbidden from actually saying them out loud? 👎

Where do you all get the right to pass judgment on kind, empathetic people? I was actually just talking to my grandmother about gay rights recently, and she mentioned how they used to be jailed back in the day—and honestly, even now, you still hear those nasty comments, like "look at that queer, someone needs to teach him a lesson." I think I'll step away from discussing addicts; it's all a bit too heavy and depressing for me. My apologies once again to Chris Peterson53, and I truly wish you nothing but the best—success in everything you aim for, and a life filled with happiness and comfort, free from suffering, pain, anger, bitterness, or rage... goodbye.

Chris Peterson53 said:Thanks, really—thanks so much🙏
for those warm, empathetic, emotional, and highly creative... wishes!

And hey, good luck to you in your little virtual world, too.
So, let me say it one more time!👋

You know, I think I'll share a little something—though I might be being far too subjective here—regarding that particular post... I've waded through some of your previous writings, and honestly, I find myself agreeing with you regarding the way people romanticize addiction. My apologies, truly...

Chris Peterson53 said:🙏 🙏 Fantastic!

It would have been a confrontation with an entirely unpredictable outcome anyway...😁

👋 Stay safe out there!

Honestly, you’re just another tedious, pathetic individual lacking even a shred of empathy or creativity—I truly regret ever engaging in conversation with you. Best of luck to you and your predictable little existence, perfectly tailored to fit right into our beautiful, noble society...

Chris Peterson53 said:Perfect....😬 Just steer clear of them!

PS: Every truth has its own disgusting side, doesn't it?

I’ll certainly be avoiding people like you—that much is certain.😁 😁

Chris Peterson53 said:Then maybe try fixing your own weak stomach...😁

You’re honestly just repulsive—I don't think it's possible to be any more unpleasant than you are..

Chris Peterson53 said:Comments like these come from people who haven't even bothered to read ALL the posts. If they actually did—assuming they're capable of comprehension—they'd realize this is really about two people: one seeking help and outside perspectives, and another who took advantage of that situation to force their opinion through—whether bluntly or indirectly (while throwing in some pretty heavy insults, even along ethnic lines).
They can't handle being disagreed with through actual argument, so instead, they just glorify their own viewpoint and defend addiction—an addiction that has caused devastating consequences for addicts, society at large, and their families.
These kinds of armchair critics and dismissive skeptics immediately start conflating this with every other social issue or group that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic. Why? Because they don't actually know what they're talking about!

Honestly, it doesn't even matter whether I've read every single post or not—I've been lurking here for quite a while anyway—but your little rant about worms and parasites is completely uncalled for. All I can say is that you've genuinely repulsed me. Seriously, all this obsession with ethnic roots... it's just gross. This whole topic and that kind of mindset? It makes my skin crawl.

Joseph Watson3 said:To me, it looks like a classic case of frustrated, insecure losers who are just itching for an opportunity to look down on someone they deem "lesser" to feel important for a second. They probably occupy the bottom rung of the social ladder in their actual lives—so wouldn't it make sense that they jump at the chance to belittle an addict or anyone else, just to feel a momentary sense of superiority? 😁

ha, ha, you actually made me laugh😁 👍—well, that certainly lightens the mood. Honestly, when you read what Chris Peterson53 wrote, it makes my stomach turn. The title alone is basically a plea for mercy... so please, man, have a little decency. It's just revolting and frankly quite pathetic.

Chris Peterson53 said:🙏 🙏 🙏
Enjoy your little journey......🤣
The real difference—the one you seem to miss—is that I’m actually going to enjoy my Mercedes-Benz and my big-screen CNN in peace and good health, while you'll already be six feet under!

Goodbye, and just get lost already!

This is truly revolting; I’m reading this and honestly can't believe my eyes... the logic follows that we should just purge all the homosexuals, the addicts, and the lunatics... I genuinely cannot fathom it—you have the audacity to call others "parasites of society" when you are clearly the one acting as a drain on it if anyone else thinks like you do. Veronica, I have just one question: where on earth do you think you get the right to act this way?

I just had another cinematic epiphany—specifically regarding *Primal Fear*—where Charlize Theron plays such an undeniably tragic figure... and then there’s that film with Claire Danes, I can't quite recall the title, but she was behind those bars—it was a stunningly nuanced performance, truly.

Ugh, that movie was terrible.🤮 🙂 🙂 Personally, I found Fight Club—you know, the one starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton👍—to be quite enjoyable. Or perhaps that isn't even the right title? My apologies if I've managed to muddle that up again.😍

Tristan and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet... honestly, I know I’m being a total sap here, but those sweeping, impossible, forbidden romances—the kind where everything is grand yet falls apart simply because of human stupidity—they just hit me right in the gut. There was also that tragic heroine from that one movie—I can't for the life of me remember the actress's name, she was beautiful, sort of a modern-day Pocahontas—forgive me if I've got the details wrong, but that film stayed with me. And then there's that legend about Autumn and her suicide; it was such a heartbreaking story, and her death... it truly hurt to watch. I've completely blanked on the actress's name, too... and that actress who played Isolde is just stunning... *sniff*... I think I need a good cry right now. Love... oh, this unrequited love...🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

James Allen6 said:I suppose you can see that you are more or less the same person even without him around. Regardless, I am happy for you if you feel this much more satisfied now.
Ultimately, you can always go back to him if you need to. I suppose this is just a trial period to see if things actually improve now that you've finally lifted that weight off your shoulders. Maybe you should focus on yourself for a bit. I think you made the right call. 👍

I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams. I guess I might be flying solo pretty soon, too.😳
I suppose I should begin.

Aside from those moments of crisis where I feel like a lost orphan with absolutely no one to turn to... it’s a haunting sensation. I have a house, a home, yet I feel completely unmoored... he was my manufactured sense of security—a false, imaginary safety net that I never truly possessed in the first place. Now, I just feel utterly alone, and that solitude is frankly terrifying... but then there are these fleeting, beautiful moments where I feel like a high schooler again—completely free, not having to ask permission for every little thing, without the crushing obligation of seeing him every single day only to argue until we're both on the verge of a breakdown. I lack stability, certainly, but I have myself again... and truth be told, I wasn't really "me" before.

James Allen6 said:Look, Blondy, let me explain things to you.

If you look above, you can see how Susan Garcia felt bold enough to respond like that.
Now, if you check the main thread to see what kind of issue he is actually dealing with—and how he intends to "solve" it—you might realize he probably won't. I guess... how many times has he already changed his mind?
Maybe try connecting the dots regarding the type of people who respond by belittling someone else's weaknesses.
Yes, you asked a fair question. There are certainly people who vent their frustrations here on the forum.
But as the smart hiddentrucker16 says, they won't be dealt with that easily.

He likely hasn't even heard that there is a group called Blondy🙂
And even he admits it—in reality, he would never say those things to your face... guess why...

Always with the compliments, aren't you?😍 😘 Hey, cherry, how have you been? I actually have some news—I finally called it quits with my old man. We haven't even seen each other in five days... and given our three-year streak of being hopelessly codependent, this feels a lot like actual withdrawal symptoms.😁

I suppose one cannot simply vent all their frustrations here on this forum 🙂