Susan James said:It's because if a boy starts first grade at 6.5 while a girl starts at 7.5, she's going to be older than him.
And she might be taller too.
She might be smarter.
And probably more independent and mature.
Of course, it isn't strictly about birthdays or numbers, but adults tend to obsess over dates and statistics.
No one just decides to skip a grade or delay enrollment on a whim; you need official confirmation that the child isn't ready. Usually, that involves passing through a school pediatrician, a school counselor, or a preschool specialist—and sometimes even other medical institutions where the child has been receiving diagnostics or ongoing treatment.
I honestly doubt this is just parents acting on whims or wanting an extra year of carefree playtime in preschool.
When a professional suggests a child might not be ready for school yet, and that child happens to be right on the age cutoff, a parent might weigh those factors alongside things like a longer summer vacation, easier childcare, or smoother travel schedules. To me, I don't see anything wrong with that.
Even if it goes the other way—where the specialists don't find any reason to delay—a parent who feels strongly about it can always seek a third opinion. That doesn't guarantee a delay if there truly isn't a valid reason, though.
I'm not saying every expert is perfect—I know testing can sometimes be superficial or even biased—but looking at the overall number of delays, it seems to me that most of them are actually quite rare. And the vast majority of these delays make total sense.
At the same time, there are still many kids who *should* have had their enrollment delayed but didn't. Those are the kids I worry about... It’s hard for me to watch a parent refuse to accept that their child needs more time, only realizing it halfway through the school year when it's already far too late.
(Especially when they use excuses like "everyone else in the group is going, so they should too," or "they need to toughen up," or "we all started early 30 years ago, so why change now?" To me, that sounds like following outdated trends, and I'm generally against following trends just for the sake of it.)
I was stuck in a dilemma about whether to hold my little guy back.
We decided he'd go, but it still eats at me.🤦
He was born in late February, so he'll be 6.5, while the rest of his preschool crew will be 7 and a few months. It's a massive gap.
I know I'm biased because he's mine. My hesitation comes from fear. I was banking on the professionals to tell me if he was truly ready, but when the teacher said he's fine because he can read and write, I nearly had a nervous breakdown.
Hello? Kids can read at 3 years old and they definitely aren't ready for school.🙂
He wants to go, and the psychologist said he scored above average on the tests... but I'm still not 100% sure this is the right call.
I didn't expect them to do math with him during the psych eval (I was eavesdropping through the door; he was in there for an hour). I was thinking maybe they should have played a game of Sorry! just to see if he'd have a meltdown if he lost.😂
Anyway... from what I've seen, it feels like almost any kid can pass these tests. What kind of kids are the ones the experts actually suggest holding back?
If he knows that 1 apple plus 4 apples equals 5 apples, that's not some grand achievement proving he's ready for school. Most kids can count that high.
how do they even test for emotional maturity?
