Honestly, it just bugs me when women try to tell other women what to do. If you can’t help out by actually doing something, giving real advice, or just listening—then just stay out of it! I heard so much of that while walking through the park during my postpartum recovery.
You’re talking nonsense too. Just try staying home alone for a couple of weeks with a toddler who just started walking and then we'll see how much you enjoy having some peace and quiet. 😬
boldotter47 said:Thanks for this. That’s exactly how I saw it—it really comes down to your mindset and your baseline personality. There are women who, the moment they give birth, completely reduce themselves to the role of the "martyr mother" (think: "Oh, I shouldn't go out to dinner with my friends while my poor baby is at home") and then end up frustrated later on. I truly believe life can be much easier and much better than that.😁
And yeah, here's another one that I find baffling, yet I hear it constantly: "I miss having time to read or watch TV"—said by a woman with a two-month-old. What on earth are you doing during those first two months when you're with the baby 24/7 and nursing?
Look, it happens. Some babies are just harder than others. And honestly, it also depends on whether you have your mom or mother-in-law nearby to help out.😉 Sure, you could breastfeed and still try to watch Netflix or read, but it's all about how much focus you actually have when you're exhausted. I was flying solo, with my husband at work until 5 or 6 PM. Every time the baby finally fell asleep, I'd start making lunch or folding tiny onesies... just as I sat down to eat, she'd be wide awake and screaming.😬 I didn't get a real meal until 5 when he got home. I used to be so jealous of moms sitting at a cafe while their baby napped. Mine only slept while I was walking or pushing the stroller; the second I stopped, the crying started. It was beautiful and tough at the same time. I finished maternity leave weighing 119 pounds and feeling totally drained, but I did enjoy those quiet moments with my coffee.😬
copperdrifter5 said:As a mother and someone who’s pregnant, I am absolutely fed up with these militant moms and new parents. Their rigid beliefs and expectations are honestly more intense than anything you'd see from Boko Haram or the Khmer Rouge. The other day I was reading an article about how our singer Kelly Clarkson just gave birth, mentioning she had a natural delivery. Naturally, the comment section exploded with people claiming it wasn't "natural" because she used an epidural 😲🙄🙄 Apparently, the logic is: the more agony you endure during labor, the longer you suffer, and the more stitches you end up with, the better of a mother and American you are. Using any kind of pain relief is strictly forbidden, obviously. (Maybe getting hit in the head with a rock would be acceptable?) If you don't breastfeed, you aren't a mother. If you breastfeed, but your kid isn't glued to your chest 24/7, you aren't a mother either. If you don't have lumps, mastitis, or cracked nipples, you aren't a mother. If your kid doesn't have some major diagnosis that requires you to be occupied with them every single second, you aren't a mother.
Give me a break. It's like you can't just say, "I'm raising my child this way, you're raising yours that way," and actually not give a damn what anyone else does. No, no, no... you have to undergo ultimate sacrifice—more than even Jesus during the crucifixion—just to be considered a parent.
Screw all of them. If I could have, I would have taken every drug under the sun during labor, from mushrooms to heroin to crystal meth. Breastfeeding was pure hell for me, and I'll sign that statement three million times over. But the idea of bragging about being "super" because I breastfed while acting like everyone else failed? Not happening. I don't go looking at other women's business.
And just try mentioning on this forum that you follow a feeding schedule instead of breastfeeding on demand... whoever survives will tell the tale. "Shame, shame, shame." >
Yeah, the woman said she was in labor for almost 20 hours (I actually went for 22!) at Mount Sinai. You sign up for one of those classes and they try to sell you on this idea that women don't labor for more than 4 or 5 hours before needing a C-section—like we’re living in the Middle Ages or something.😵
I totally get why you're frustrated. I was just trying to say that the epi isn't even that great anyway 😉 I have no clue why my dose didn't last longer, but I distinctly remember from the training they said it should last 45-60 minutes and come in two doses. It’s basically just that little breather before things get intense—that moment where you can actually catch your breath. My session went on forever, so I really needed that break. Honestly, if only the epi lasted until the final buzzer, haha! But nope.
Ugh, I tried the epidural too, but it barely lasted 45 minutes. No idea why, but they told me at Washington, D.C. General Hospital that I was only allowed two injections total. So, you get two little breaks of about 45 minutes each, and then comes the fun part 😬
Every single woman out there feels entitled to grill their husband about whether his wife has enough milk. Honestly, some people just won't mind their own business.
Haha! Seriously though! There are so many ridiculous comments about pregnant women out there—don't let them get to you, girl! 😉 Just brush them off; honestly, it’s just the hormones talking sometimes. 😬 You've got a mountain of breastfeeding advice coming your way too, so save your energy and just do what feels right for you. 😉 Once the baby arrives, everyone suddenly switches to lecturing you about diapers, acting like they're some kind of moral standard. For me, the diaper talk was actually much easier to deal with.
Uh-huh, I’m with dustymaker642 on this one. 😉 Every Pregnancy feels different depending on what’s going on at home. When I was having my first, the best advice I got was just to hang in there—it’s all just phases. 😉 People aren't trying to be mean when they say things will be tough, but it honestly feels silly because it just stresses you out early about stuff you can't control. Just focus on yourself right now, try to relax as much as possible, and everything will work itself out. 🙂
Brian Williams4 said:It’s kind of wild to me how mothers-in-law always seem way more involved than actual moms. Maybe they just want to be helpful... I honestly can't tell.
Ugh, once they start, they just don't know when to quit. My MIL didn't push me too hard during my pregnancy, even though she definitely tried to "help," but I just shut it down since I have my own mom to lean on. 🙄 The breaking point was at the hospital—I actually just gave birth a few days ago—when she kept calling to lecture me. It was all stuff like, "Are you breastfeeding? Is the baby hungry? Are you eating and drinking enough? How are you going to nourish the baby if you aren't eating?" My blood pressure shot up so high I had to hang up on her.
Being in the hospital is tough enough as it is. Everyone is constantly judging your breastfeeding, and it seems like every other woman is crying about having low supply or a hungry baby. I finally snapped and called my husband to tell him I'm done taking her calls. My phone is strictly for him and my mom, and I just need some peace. We haven't spoken since then. It's been 10 days now. 🤣🤣😍 I think I'm officially too old to deal with another mother figure. 🙄
Rebecca Thomas27 said:Before I stumbled upon this thread, I hadn't even considered that someone could actually pose the question, "Is it coming back to life?"... yet somehow, that’s exactly what was directed at me today. 🙄 It was such an incredibly bizarre sensation, honestly—just a complete and utter "what on earth?" moment.
I’ve also started noticing this pattern with women who gained quite a bit of weight during their pregnancies and haven't quite managed to shed it even after eighteen months; they seem to stare intently at my midsection, constantly asking if I'm starting to show or if I've been eating more than usual. It feels as though they are just waiting for me to gain weight. Meanwhile, as if purely out of spite, I happen to be maintaining a pretty reasonable weight. 🙂 Granted, I’m only at 17 weeks and 4 days, but I suppose I’m not exactly force-feeding myself enough for two people. 😁
Yeah, I've definitely noticed that too. 😬 It feels like people are just dying to see you gain weight so you can join the "club." 🤣 Even at 33 weeks, I just have this little bump, and I've heard so many comments about it. It's like you have to justify everything—that you're eating exactly what you need, or that it's much easier to move around when you aren't feeling heavy and bloated...
I'm feeling a bit bummed. We just finished a prenatal class at Mayo Clinic, and there were so many couples there, the room was packed. Every single woman looked so fit; nobody really stood out as being overweight. 😍
The staring is getting on my nerves now 🙂 Honestly, I’ve still got a month and a half to go and my bump is huge, but I know I’m not the only pregnant woman out there. Still, I feel like some kind of freak show when people just gawk at me 🙄 And then come the silly questions—"Can you do that?" "Are you okay?" "Is the baby moving?" Seriously, maybe I should just stay home and wait out the next six weeks until I give birth so I don't have to deal with everyone's curiosity ☕
Brian Williams4 said:So, I was waiting in line at the DMV the other day to sort out some paperwork. Naturally, the waiting room was packed, and there was only one single chair left, which was taken by this elderly man. He looked like he’d seen better days, honestly. I’m just standing there, waiting my turn, when nobody even thinks to move. Then, the woman behind the counter looks up, sees me and the old guy, and starts losing it on everyone else. She’s yelling about how people need to learn how to let pregnant women and seniors go first, telling us to step up to the window immediately. I ended up helping the gentleman up, and we both limped our way to the front together. 😁 The rest of them just rolled their eyes and huffed. It’s happened to me a few times where people have actually pushed me out of line... I don't mind standing if I have to, but when people get rude and entitled, I'm going to stand my ground.
Me too 🤣 I'm standing in line at Target, pulling stuff out of my cart onto the conveyor belt. This local guy with a couple of beers just pushes right in front of me—like, what is he even waiting for? 😬 Then immediately behind him, another guy shows up with a huge bottle of wine and some recycling, acting like he needs cigarettes right this second. He barely missed bumping into me, but he still shoved his way in. I just stood there staring, totally shocked. He even had the nerve to ask me for change outside 😂 Like, get lost.
Michael Barrett11 said:It kind of reminds me of the weight I put on during my first pregnancy, but honestly, when my hormones are acting up like this, even the smallest things can get under my skin. 😬
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Of course it bothers you! 😉 Ask him how he’d handle having so many restrictions for nine months straight. I once asked my husband to try giving up beer alone for nine months just to see how he'd do 🤣 Let alone cutting out certain foods, skipping workouts, avoiding all alcohol, and constant doctor appointments... yeah, right.
Talk it out with him and come up with a game plan. My guy was constantly making me donuts because I had cravings early on 😍 He's super sweet and tries to give me everything I want, but if he keeps that up, I'm going to turn into a total couch potato 🤣 So we made a deal—no heavy dinners, just fruit, and letting me have lighter lunches instead. He even cut back on sweets and stopped bringing beer home to help me out. It makes things way easier now since there's only healthy stuff in my fridge. Now he just brings me organic fruit and veggies 🤣
casualnomad18 said:It honestly drives me crazy when I go over to my mother-in-law's house and she immediately tries to shove her face against my stomach. I actually had to tell her straight up that it bothers me—only my husband should be kissing my belly and talking to the baby like that. I don't mind at all when one of my close friends touches my bump. For instance, I was out grabbing coffee with a friend yesterday, and she kept patting my stomach throughout our chat. It didn't bother me one bit because she’s been by my side since day one of this pregnancy; she's seen me through all the ups and downs, and I know her excitement is completely genuine.
Exactly. We still have those inner circles of people who can be affectionate, and then there are others who just shouldn't.🙄 My mother-in-law keeps trying to lift my shirt up, and honestly, I just snap at her and say no! A pregnant woman isn't some public exhibit for everyone to touch.
Mark Cox13 said:The other day I ran into an acquaintance, and naturally, she noticed I was pregnant and immediately jumped to the question of what on earth I plan to do with my cat once the baby arrives...🙂 I found myself stuck in this ridiculous loop of explaining how my cat is strictly an indoor pet, fully vaccinated, up to date on all his vet visits, blah blah blah—as if I’d ever just abandon a companion who has been my constant through everything for nearly ten years, making me happy every single day😢 and as if it would even be remotely sane to just toss him out onto the street now.
But honestly, my cat and I talk to him every day, telling him he’s about to get a little brother or sister, warning him that babies can be a bit clumsy, but promising him we'll always protect him.😍
I truly hope he lives a long life so that when my baby arrives, they can experience firsthand just how wonderful having a little creature like him is, and how great it feels to have such a loyal friend by your side.
Honestly, I don't think there's a kid out there who doesn't love animals. 😍 You'll have to share some cute photos once that kitty starts curling up next to the baby! 🤣
Right now? I’m totally playing the gender card! Honestly, I'm not having this baby for my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, or any of my friends—I'm doing this for myself and my dad. 🙂 My MIL is already obsessed because she wants a grandson since she's got three granddaughters, and my sister-in-law says she wants a girl just "out of principle" so she can have two. 🙄 Well, I'm not telling anyone anything until they actually meet the little one face-to-face. 🙂 Why do people feel the need to pester pregnant women like this?
wanderinghawk said:Squeezing and releasing my fist seems to help a bit 🤷
A neighbor got under my skin today, too. She suggested it was selfish of me to keep working until the very end instead of stopping now 🙂🙂🙂 I guess she thinks I should just wait for complications to arise, even though everything is fine so far... 🤷☕
Yeah, totally selfish to actually want to work. 🙄 My sister-in-law said the exact same thing to me. She actually cut her maternity leave short because she was worried about her spot at her corporate job, and she didn't even go for a second pregnancy for that same reason. ☕ It's always so easy to judge someone else's life from the sidelines.