Posts by quietangler47

Regarding this whole situation, she respects my boundaries now—she doesn't bring her crowd around anymore, and I don't really deal with her people, which was something I had to fight for. But honestly, she still cycles through these guys like they're on a conveyor belt. Don't get me wrong, nothing physical is happening, but every single day it's some new guy she's raving about, treating them all like these "best buddies" she just needs to give a little hug to here and there.

Word on the street is that at work, she basically ignores women entirely and only vibes with the guys. She barely communicates with the female staff, which naturally leads to plenty of office gossip. She actually told me straight up that she just can't function around women, and that somehow I'm the exception to the rule. Why is that? It’s genuinely bugging me. This is the second person I've met who claims they just can't deal with women.

Is it because women can't give her that much attention since we're technically competition, or what? That would actually make sense; subconsciously, she probably senses I'm not a threat, so she enjoys my company more. Is that even a thing? A colleague of hers told me this—we work for the same corporation, just in different departments and roles, so I really don't know what's going on... but apparently, she just won't communicate with the ladies...

Good grief.

Also, is she just a massive attention seeker? I've already tried explaining to her that you don't just hug your friends and let them hover right in your personal space like that.

Just last week, that guy I warned her about a long time ago tried to make a move on her. She came running to me all worked up, blocked him on every single social media platform, returned his stuff, and called it a day.

I mean, what even is that... she claims she wants nothing to do with these guys, yet she loves being in their circle, playing games, and getting all touchy-feely. I'm completely lost, but I'm keeping my mouth shut. Maybe it's just how people born after 2000 are; it feels like that's becoming the norm lately.

Charles Wood73 said:You still haven't told me if the kid is sexy or not. 🕺

Nooo, it’s not even like that... it's like a woman was just assigned to me one afternoon. They basically handed her a key, told her she lives here now, and called it a day. Apparently, I was just supposed to expect a roommate whenever the housing office felt like it.

And for the record, I’m definitely not some creep—I don't deal with kids. She is quite literally just a child; she even sleeps with a stuffed animal, lol. She’s all innocence and naive, even though she tries so hard to act like she's grown up.
....

ironrider11 said:Going back to what I said before, isn't it basically just breeding a fear of men? You know, the guys who are actually total softies once you get to know them... It’ll all be fine. Then maybe things will get a little shaky, then they'll settle down, then they won't, then they will... It's all part of the cycle. Everything's gonna turn out okay in the end.

According to her story, nothing actually happened between them, but they were trying to use gifts to change her mind, which honestly makes zero sense to me. She mentioned she can't bring herself to be physically intimate with a man after everything she's been through, and she just wants some peace and quiet without anyone bothering her. Out of all the guys who were crowding her, there was only one around her age, and he’s the one I called a "softie." He’s actually a really good guy—caring, sweet, and pretty sharp for his age... he isn't pushing her at all, and I actually respect that about him.

All in all, we both managed to catch up on some sleep after work, which gave us enough energy to stay up talking half the night. I actually managed to dodge all those weirdos today. She handed their stuff back and made it crystal clear she wants nothing to do with them. I learned quite a bit about her through our chat; honestly, she’s a good kid, just way too naive for her own good. There is this one guy, also 18, who is just genuinely sweet—super quiet, really easygoing. She’s going to keep hanging out with him, and I told her I’m actually relieved about that. When she’s out with him, I can actually breathe easy, unlike when she's around those older creeps. You never know what kind of trouble they might try to stir up...
Anyway, the girl went through something heavy—she was assaulted by some guy and dealt with a lot of abuse from her father. She mentioned she has a real fear of men now and said it’s going to take years and years to recover. Right now, she just wants to focus entirely on her career, which I think is a really healthy move on her part...
I haven't come out to her yet, but since there are plenty of LGBTQ+ people living in my neighborhood here in the States, she'll eventually pick up on it. Since she grew up in a more conservative area, she doesn't fully grasp the nuances, though it doesn't seem to bother her much. For now, I just tell her I'm straight. When we talk about dating or grab coffee and I bring up my exes, I just refer to them as "guys" rather than girls, and that does the trick.

I just don't feel like opening up to her like that right now. I told her to go ahead and live her life at 18 and not to hold herself back. I reminded her that not every man is a predator—like that sweet 18-year-old boy she's seeing, he's a total gentleman... so, yeah. It’ll all work out. I hope!

wanderingdriver17 said:Two old proverbs for you:

1. Help a poor soul just to embarrass yourself
2. If you play with kids, you're bound to end up with wet pants

...plus there's that thing about how you attract what you are😉

Who picked this little girl to be her roommate? Saint Peter?

Well, us readers are wondering the exact same thing about you—like, who did you pick to end up in this mess? At least I'm asking.☕

Look, I didn't choose her. We're staying in corporate housing provided by the company. It’s literally just assigning people in pairs at random, whether they're arriving for the first time or getting moved from their old roommates.

Roommates and Regrets

I’m picking up where I left off in that previous thread—which, for some reason, got shut down. Should this have been moved over to the psychology subforum? Honestly, I’ve never quite wrapped my head around how the moderation here works, but I’ll try to calmly lay out the rest of what I couldn't say there...

So, here's the deal: I took in a girl who just turned twenty, and we’re living in a tiny apartment together. I am seriously torn right now between whether I should kick her out, move out myself, or just somehow push her away from my life entirely.

She came from a domestic violence shelter, so she’s dealt with some heavy family stuff. Initially, I felt nothing but sympathy for her, but lately, it feels like life is just throwing one shock after another at me. First, her parents thought she’d committed suicide and had the police showing up at my door, then she started bringing guys back to the apartment... now I’m getting the distinct impression she isn't just using these guys, she's using me too, treating me like some sort of surrogate mother. After I started that last thread, an older woman from next door actually knocked on my door and lectured me, saying I need to look out for the kid, that she's basically still a child, that I should help her get a job and whatnot... Look, I *do* all that, but I’m just so frustrated. I come home and there’s some guy sitting on my bed—someone she considers just another "friend"—and they’re practically making out right in front of me, only for someone else to show up the very next day...

I’ve already told her straight up: no guests. But does she listen? Not even a little. To make matters worse, the girl can't even remember my name, which is pretty ridiculous considering it’s a super common American name. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if something is wrong with her, like, is her head actually okay? And this whole thing with the older guys she hangs out with is terrifying; one of them has a real temper and gets aggressive. I’m honestly scared she’s going to end up a victim of more violence or something even worse.

The guilt is eating at me. Part of me knows I need to get out, but then I start questioning if that’s the right thing to do. Should I wait until she gets her first paycheck to see if she’s actually exploiting people or if she’s just broke? But deep down, my gut is screaming at me to just run for the hills. My perfumes are disappearing, my makeup is being used, my food is being eaten... she’s lounging on my bed and using my towels... I really can't take it anymore.

I have this nagging feeling that there might be something deeper going on with her, like all of this can't just be a series of coincidences...

Walkmax insoles actually help some people out. You can stand for much longer without feeling like your feet are dying. They don't kill your heels because the arch support is centered right where it needs to be. Plus, they aren't breaking the bank. Honestly, if they work for your pain, just grab three pairs immediately.

There's this trick where you wrap your foot using boxing wraps to basically lift the arch. You can find explanations for it online if you're curious.

You also need to be more mindful of your gait. Try walking on the outer edges of your feet—aim for a lighter step, almost like you're trying to sneak around without waking anyone up. It helps, though it’s probably better if you have your feet wrapped too. That's what I do, and it makes things a lot easier. Even though I have an arch, I can still walk normally, even if it feels a little weird. My instinct is to let my feet collapse inward, but I refuse to let that happen.

When your feet start acting up and causing serious pain, try walking on your toes for a bit. It’s actually a decent exercise for your arches and takes the pressure off your heels.

I wouldn't call myself an orthotics fanatic, but if you have a job where you're on your feet all day, just try everything. And make sure you're doing foot exercises every single day.

Supposedly, feet like this can't be "fixed" (which sounds pretty debatable to me), and apparently, in some countries, people with flat feet were even deemed unfit for military service.

silverotter592 said:Hey there,
I’ve been sitting here thinking about this, and I wanted to ask everyone: how much substance do you actually find when you hang out with people who are on their own spiritual journey? I mean, when it comes to really opening up and sharing the highs and lows of life across the board—is there any actual depth there? From what I’ve seen personally, every single person I’ve run into who claims to be into spirituality seems to have already picked a specific religion or a certain niche movement to cling to, and honestly, it feels like they aren't actually looking for genuine, soul-level friendship. It feels more like they just want to recruit anyone they meet into their little group or community. So, I'm curious, what has your experience been like in your day-to-day interactions with others who are also walking this path?

Look, we're all on our own spiritual path here, and honestly, we're all experts in our own little worlds. No one else truly knows what we've endured, what we've learned from it, or how much it's actually changed us. People often don't even wake up spiritually until they hit a massive wall—like losing someone close to them. Before that, most of us walk around thinking we're invincible. It usually takes a heavy, life-altering experience—something that happens at just the right moment for a reason—to really shake things loose.

Solitude is probably the best way to process all that, though you can't go overboard. Solitude is a double-edged sword; at the end of the day, we're still social creatures after all.

Honestly, I don't go into things with massive expectations when it comes to people. If there’s something I can just knock out myself, I’m not handing it off to anyone else. People can be pretty unreliable, so it's better not to get your hopes up too high. That said, I'm not trying to be some total pessimist either—it's more about finding that sweet spot in the middle.

Having a massive anxiety spike whenever your phone rings—or just the general dread of having to actually talk on the phone—can sometimes be a telltale sign of autism or Asperger's. A lot of people, especially women, tend to go their entire lives without ever being diagnosed because their symptoms are more subtle or manifest differently. They get really good at masking and blending in to meet social expectations, so they just end up being labeled as "extreme introverts." But, honestly, that’s often not the full story.