83 posts shown.
Sean Cruz said:It’s pointless to try and "convince" anyone when our perspectives differ. Desire and longing are fundamental components of love—whether they are fulfilled or left unrequited.
In fact, the ancient American Vedic texts emphasize how longing actually deepens one's capacity to love.
I’ve always been struck by this thought from Ivo Andrić:
The beauty of the entire world is hidden within my thoughts. An unachievable dream has become the very substance of my life. And so life passes, but at the moment of death, I can point to my longing as the only great, true, and beautiful thing in my existence.
It's honestly pointless, especially since you're living a totally different life than me. You've got your own perspective. And for the record, I wasn't even trying to win an argument here. 😉
Besides, the ancient Veda texts emphasize how longing actually intensifies love.
Uh-huh. Sure. It boosts the hunger for love. 🙂
Fine. Whatever. Let's call it a "love ingredient," but only if it's temporary. 😬
I've always loved this thought from Ernest Hemingway:
The beauty of the whole world is hidden within my thoughts. An unfulfilled dream has become the very essence of my existence. And so life passes, but in the moment of death, I can point to my longing as the one great, true, and beautiful thing in my life.
It's a pretty sentiment, I guess, but I'm not digging it when it comes to love. 😬
Longing for the truth? That's fine... but longing for love is just... well, it's basically a slow death.
cosmictinker21 said:I touch on this sort of thing from time to time over at my literature corner... When love is actually there, it’s real—it doesn't recognize boundaries or fences. I suppose some people find mathematical formulas a bit easier to lean on than trying to put actual feelings into words...
Uncompromising integrity—having that sense of wholeness where you actually expect things to be complete, and more importantly, you have the right to demand it. If you don't, you just end up becoming a pushover. Although, I suppose being a pushover isn't always the worst thing in the world... you tend to learn a few lessons once you finally come to your senses... 😍
Honestly, I might just curse you out right now. 😁
No matter how much I study, I never feel like I've learned enough... I master one life lesson, and then boom, here comes the next one. It never stops... man. I just need a tiny breather between exams. That's really all I'm asking for. 😂
Sean Cruz said:I disagree. Love between two people is perfectly possible even when they are together. We shouldn't generalize and claim that love only counts when it's "realized" while dismissing everything else as mere illusions—that’s just not how it works. Everyone carries their own set of assumptions, and if we want to keep this conversation going, everyone needs to define what "love" actually means to them. To me, the concept is far too vast to be captured in just a few sentences.
By the way, don't buy into the modern obsession with labeling "possession" as inherently negative. In my view, the word "belonging" is much more appropriate. 🙂
We're getting a tiny, tiny bit 😉 mixed up here... confusing simple desire or just missing someone for love.
Desire can be unbearable, and longing? Yeah, that hurts... but love? Love is just holding hands. Not crushing them, but not letting go either. Just right. 🙂
cosmictinker21 said:Gerald, you basically just read my mind.🙂
I think the real essence of love is when two people remain entirely themselves—autonomous individuals—while working together to build something new, something else entirely. Think of it like two circles existing independently, then overlapping. They can never perfectly merge; that's just impossible between human beings. But within that union, there are segments where they absolutely align. The more those areas overlap, the better the relationship becomes... it leads to deeper understanding, more tolerance, and actual respect. Not to mention the raw depth of the feelings involved...🙂
Ugh... way too much math and geometry for me.
Honestly? I just want to enjoy someone's company. 🙂 I've never been one to obsess over the whole "work" aspect of a relationship. 😂
To me, love is about the enjoyment. And all the good stuff that comes with it. I don't do compromises. 😬
stormycanyon11 said:Love is essentially a singular force, though it manifests in billions of different ways, which is why we all walk around convinced that our specific version is the one true thing—and honestly, I can't say I blame us, given how unique every individual experience really is. If we can just let love exist, even if it’s nothing more than a persistent, abstract idea, then perhaps there’s hope. There’s an old saying going around that suggests success is merely the grave where love goes to die, a thought that certainly opens up a whole new rabbit hole of debate...🙂
Success at what, though? We've got plenty of different kinds of "success" floating around out there...🙂
northernbadger12 said:I really wanted to lay out the whole story right here, but I’m just swamped right now, and honestly, I don't want my coworkers snooping around at my little obsession. 😁
I'm loving it, though—the theme is really starting to come together!
And you know, speaking of "to have or to be," I think the only kind of love that actually works is this specific idea... it's about living the love and feeling it deeply, without that desperate need to own someone or possess them. 😍
I'll try to write out my specific scenario and how it all played out over the weekend
Catch ya later! 👍
Oh, please... if you're actually into someone, there's no way you won't want them right next to you. And yeah, you can't exactly "own" them either. 😉
But how you actually act on it? That's a whole different ballgame.
Sean Cruz said:🤣
I had absolutely no idea you possessed such a sharp sense of humor. 😍
I once had a dream where someone close to me rose from the dead. It was terrifying at first... until someone, or perhaps some presence in the dream, whispered: "Don't be afraid. If our loved ones actually rose from their graves, nobody would fear death anymore." It would just be a celebration. 🙂
The woman who raised me—she was essentially my second mother—always used to say: Don't fear the dead; fear the living..
And she was right...
Seriously, imagine the chaos... "Where am I supposed to go with you, dear? Why can't you just rest in peace like everyone else!" And think about the laws... what would they even look like? Not to mention the emotional toll... I don't know how much a person could possibly take. 🤷 What would that world even look like?
I think this is a fascinating topic. 😬 We should probably start a new thread over in spirituality or somewhere else to dive into this properly without cluttering this discussion. 🙂
Eh, I'm pretty sure there's already a thread about that over on spirituality. Besides, I'm just rambling a bit... doesn't feel like I'm ruining the vibe here. 😉 (
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Dana Morales64 said:So, you're saying he was perfect for you, yet you still couldn't be with him? What kind of "serious reasons" prevent a perfect match? You praise him as the best you'll ever know, yet you walk away anyway?
Give it a rest... seriously... stop digging up the past. 😉 She moved on with her life. 😉
@samting, solid post. I won't say it was "beautiful"... because honestly, calling love "pre-technical" feels a bit too clinical for me. 😉
Here’s what actually hit home for me:
When you look at love as a process versus just a memory, the connection between two people is the journey, while the memory is just what's left over. But let's be real—love only stays alive as long as it's being actively given or received. It doesn't exist just because of the people involved; it exists because of its own damn essence.
Sean Cruz said:My daughter actually planned to have all our loved ones buried in the backyard, just so she wouldn't have to make the trek to the cemetery. 😁 She even promised she'd bring us a little bit of her old allowance every day to keep the memory alive. 🤣
See, your ideas aren't half bad. 😍
"Your garden is gorgeous... you said four gravesites? They look lovely. You thinking about adding more?" 😂
I once had this dream where someone close to me just... rose from the dead. It absolutely terrified me... until someone, or maybe some voice in the dream, told me: "Don't be scared. If our loved ones actually crawled out of their graves, nobody would ever fear death again." It’d just be a party. 🙂
And seriously, imagine the chaos... "Where am I supposed to take you, man? Why can't you just rest in peace like everyone else!" Plus, think about the legal nightmare... the laws would be insane... and the emotions... I don't even know what's left for a person to feel after that. 🤷 What would that even look like?
Sean Cruz said:I don't even believe in God, anyway. Who would I have left to curse? 🤔 🤣
Him 😁.
But why would I even bother being pissed off? I’d just be one of those crazy ladies fighting with a grave. Or staring at a headstone with pure contempt instead of any actual warmth or love... 😂
P.S.: He'd probably have a fresh bouquet waiting for me every single morning. Okay, fine, maybe I'd skip a day... if I was actually feeling truly livid. 😳 🤣
Sean Cruz said:Why shouldn't sarcasm have a place in a love story? You seem to be suggesting that "true" love only exists while a relationship is actively functioning—whether it's a marriage or otherwise. So, what happens when your partner passes away? Does the love just vanish? I'm genuinely curious. Personally, I’ve always been a bit of a cynic, and I find irony and sarcasm to be perfectly natural ways to express myself. If you can't wrap your head around that, feel free to be offended.
Holy hell, I wouldn't give up on love even if my life depended on it... or if God called me home early. I'd never forgive him for leaving me. Honestly, I'd hold both him and God responsible. 😁
Sean Cruz said:Exactly. 🙂
In this instance, it exists. That said, love can certainly involve togetherness, but it doesn't have to. It isn't a requirement.
Right, it's not mandatory, but it's not exactly random either... 😁
I don't know... but hey, waking up next to someone you actually love isn't a bad way to start the day. 🤣 😍
rustystag16 said:Being gay, I have this recurring habit of falling for people who are totally out of reach... it’s become a bit of a pattern at this point. I’ve actually been head over heels for unavailable people twice now—and honestly, I still haven't quite moved past it.
Am I right, manixman? 🙂
Look, there’s zero contradiction here. You can spiral into an illusion from a dozen different directions—that’s a given. People build connections with everyone, not just the person sleeping next to them; we build them with friends, exes, whoever. I don't see any difference there. And don't get me wrong, I do believe in those "movie stories." They happen. They're rare, sure, but they exist. When passion hits that hard, you just have to try and survive it. That overwhelming, out-of-control feeling that pulls the rug right out from under you... it happens. Not to everyone, but it's out there. Look, we aren't the first people to talk about love or the way passion burns out... we aren't reinventing the wheel here, and we certainly can't go around "selling" our personal stories, fears, or desires to anyone else. I've seen the happy endings, I've seen the tragedies... I've seen people find peace, and yeah, I've seen people be absolute idiots. And let's face it, our life plans never actually turn out the way we sketch them out. Like Microsoft says: just stay human, balancing who you were yesterday with who you are today. Isn't that basically what life is? We can't control it... wars, random natural disasters 😁, death... life, love (if you even let some people 😉). Humans are constantly fighting against nature, trying to micromanage it. But we forget to respect it, forget how massive it actually is... how unpredictable it stays. We're terrified of the unknown, even though we know so little... then again, we act like we know more than we do. And we pay for it. If it isn't today, it'll be tomorrow.
Lullaby. 🙂
cosmictinker21 said:I mean, what would be the point of me even chiming in if I didn't have an opinion?😢
Besides, who’s actually going to shut me up?😂 I come from a family of chatterboxes, after all...🤷
Other than that, looking at the whole topic this guy brought up, I figured I was probably on the right track. It was presented as a real-world scenario, so I'm just sticking to the facts of the case...
I mean, seriously... kiss it goodbye... 😍
cosmictinker21 said:Well, he shuts me up, obviously. 🙂🙂
I honestly don't get why my sister gets so worked up over everything I post... 🤷
I shared my own sad little story about a guy who meant the world to me. He still does, in his own way, but that doesn't mean I'm still stuck emotionally in the past. My heart is where it belongs now, with my partner. And honestly, that's the only thing that actually matters...
I don't know all the specific details that you and my sister are hung up on; I'm just speaking generally, from the perspective of someone who lived through it. It’s something several women close to me have experienced too, and if you ask any therapist or psychologist, they’d tell you exactly what I described is what real love looks like. So, I really can't be blamed for how I see things...
😍 Just "uh-huh" isn't gonna cut it. 🤣
Sean Cruz said:Love doesn't require you to be inseparable—it looks like you're confusing symbiosis with actual affection.
Love is one-sided, regardless of what people like to tell themselves. Even when two people claim to love each other, that doesn't mean the feeling is balanced. In most cases, it simply isn't.
Unrequited love isn't actually love at all.
You’re entitled to your opinion. I’m certainly entitled to disagree.
A fantasy is just a fantasy, no matter how much people insist on calling it love.
And you're stepping in here like some kind of judge to tell us what love is and isn't? ☕
I agree that fixation—in the sense of a pathological obsession—is a sickness. When someone relentlessly pursues another person who has zero interest in them, that individual is clearly unwell. However, what I am referring to when I use the term "fixation" in this specific context is something entirely different from the scenario you’ve constructed. Frankly, you seem to have no idea what the actual issue is here.
I dig everything you wrote... but I'd also argue there is a connection here. It might not be obvious, but it's definitely there. 🙂
Sean Cruz said:That’s pretty much how it works here, too. She knows there isn't a future there, so she maintains a friendship, but that doesn't mean the affection has faded. You can't just flip a switch on love like it's an on/off button. 😉
It’s not some obsessive fixation where someone is being stalked; they see each other because they both genuinely want to. You can't force anyone to spend time with you if they don't want to, right?
Ugh, tell me about it... people just need to live their lives and do their thing. Honestly, everyone is so sick of explaining themselves all the time. 🙂