How do I tell my son that they were the ones who shot his dad?
in Close to Politics ·
Olivia Nguyen4 said:Look, it's not like I actually answered him. I just told him those aren't our guys... and that was it!
Now I’m stuck wondering how I'm supposed to teach him about all the heavy stuff—how he was a doctor, how we got into fights, how the Srbin attacked us, and all those horrible realities—over the next few years. I want him to understand what actually happened and why, without turning him into some kind of hateful bigot. I don't want him to forget, but I also don't want him thinking this could all just happen again.
Olivia Nguyen4, honestly, and I mean this with zero sarcasm, just let the kid be a kid. He's five. That's it. He's five right now, and he'll never be five again. And you're a parent to a five-year-old right now, and that window closes. Just let them play soccer, or handball, or basketball, or whatever... let him learn his ABCs and get ready for life, not for combat. He has a whole lifetime ahead of him; there's plenty of time down the road to grapple with the dark stuff. Telling him every gritty detail right now isn't going to do anything to help if things ever turn violent again anyway.
People who lived through a war like ours... they need time. They need to heal. Sometimes that healing takes a lifetime, and sometimes it never happens at all. If you lived through it, you know the reality of it. So, please, don't pass that weight onto your child. He wasn't part of the war. His world should be small and carefree; he should feel safe and protected in his parents' arms. I mean, isn't that basically why you fought in the first place? He’ll pick up experiences as he grows—life is the best teacher there is. Don't worry about him "missing out." All the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place exactly when they're supposed to, and exactly how they need to. Did you see what frozentinker432 posted above? Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, would you really want your son to grow up bitter? Would you want him to feel that way one day? Your job, like any parent's, is to teach your child how to think for themselves, how to tell right from wrong. And man, that is the hardest job there is. So many people fail at it.