mellowskipper said:I suppose if you’re living in the heart of a major city like Chicago or New York, you actually have the luxury of looking into different school districts and deciding where to enroll your kid—since there are plenty of options available... And, well, if the little one has their heart set on getting into a top-tier prep school, I guess you'd need at least a 72 on the entrance exam.
I don't know, I mean, she doesn't even live downtown. She just had this specific idea that her kid should start learning French as a primary language from the first grade, mostly because that’s what all those celebrity kids go to... Now she'll probably end up shelling out a fortune for one of those flashy private academies because wanting French means she won't qualify for some of the top-tier public schools where all the famous families send their children. Honestly, that woman has always been a bit high-maintenance and stuck-up, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that things turned out this way.
Susan James said:You really need to hit your head against a toilet bowl... when you force a language on a child that they don't want, don't enjoy, and struggle to learn—especially when it impacts their ☕ GPA and admissions.
The cutoff scores are around 75-76. He’s sitting at 72. Since his first foreign language grade was a C in seventh and eighth grade (his foreign language five was a B, but the second language doesn't count toward this), he passes with a C. He doesn't want to hear another word about French, let alone keep studying it. But the French grade is dragging his overall average down by 4 points. And of course, he doesn't have straight As.
I actually agree with her point for the most part. It seems pretty silly that students can only take the entrance exams once they hit a certain GPA threshold (and even then, even if they get all 10 points, it might not be enough to catch up to the kids with perfect grades since the points aren't weighted that heavily anyway). Not to mention how strange it is to give credit for a language the kid won't even continue in high school (some schools don't even offer it, and some kids genuinely just don't want to study it). A colleague of mine is dealing with a similar headache (unless things change in the coming years), except it's German. She didn't even choose it for him; it was just bundled in as the primary foreign language at their neighborhood public school.
I suppose it’s because it’s THAT school—the one where all the celebrity kids go, the kind of place people feel they absolutely have to send their children to if they care about status🤦 🤦 it fell on its own, it killed itself.☕ that’s just how things go when you stop looking at what your own child actually needs or what they're naturally good at, and instead just focus on which schools are considered "the best." not really, I guess, since now they're just slamming their head against a toilet bowl.🤷 c'est la vie. 😳
wanderingbadger77 said:Oh, right. So you'd be totally okay with the fact that your kid has a terrible English teacher who has ruined entire generations? Someone who doesn't actually teach and just hands out easy grades left and right? There's no way in hell I'd enroll my kid there. Some academic gaps are hard to fix, especially if those grades were handed out easily without actual knowledge, and then the kid moves on to a more rigorous high school. That ends up being a much bigger stress than just taking the time to research the quality of the school beforehand.
To be fair, I actually enrolled my kids in a local school where there are definitely some incompetent teachers in the mix, mostly because it's right down the street. It just doesn't seem worth the hassle of driving them halfway across town for years just so they can get better at math or take Mandarin or fencing lessons. Even in those "top-tier" private academies, you're still going to run into idiots. I’d probably end up hitting my head against a wall if I spent years commuting across the state just for them to realize the French instruction isn't nearly as good as I had imagined.
redridge13 said:Miley Cyrus, no offense intended, but all this stuff you’re saying about hovering over your kid, buying textbooks from every publisher under the sun... don't you think you're taking it a bit too far?
My kid is basically at the end of middle school, and honestly, they handle their own business—schoolwork, homework, juggling extracurriculars, managing their own schedule, the whole nine yards. We don't micromanage; we just step in if they actually ask for a hand.
For a kid who isn't struggling with any developmental issues, this level of intense supervision plus extra tutoring during middle school feels like total overkill to me. How much longer are you planning to babysit their education? (I noticed you mentioned you guys have been going hard since 5th grade). Middle school, high school, college... where does it end?
So, I guess you’re essentially saying that the only reason he needs extra tutoring and constant one-on-one help is because his current school is failing him—that if he were in a "better" district, he’d just breeze through everything on his own with decent grades and no outside help? Are you planning on sticking with the extra tutoring once he hits high school? And was that specialized math academy actually his choice, or did you steer him toward it just because it’s considered the "top tier" option?
In my book, "keeping an eye on" someone's abilities isn't quite the same thing as making them your absolute priority, which is why I asked. From what I can gather from your posts, it seems like your main priority is just getting him into a "good school," regardless of what that actually looks like for him.
Dennis Alvarez2, I guess what I’m wondering is, what happens when your data crunching you ends up narrowing a school choice down to just three options, none of which actually align with what your kid is interested in or actually good at? I mean, suppose the kid is just totally average, or maybe they aren't quite cut out for a high-pressure prep school, yet you're still sitting there eyeing those Ivy League entrance stats with this sort of envy. Because, you know, you keep bringing up "school quality." But what if the child's actual abilities just don't match up with the "quality" of the institution? Are you going to take a week of vacation at the end of eighth grade just so you can both grind through some extreme tutoring sessions to force an enrollment into a "top-tier" school, or will you eventually just relax and settle for something a bit less "prestigious"?
Miley Cyrus, I think my philosophy on parenting and education is fundamentally different from most people's, and I suppose that includes yours. I didn't spend a single second agonizing over which elementary school to enroll the kids in because there really wasn't much of a dilemma—the closest one just happened to be "terrible." There are plenty of reasons for that, and I don't think I really need to list them all out here. I feel pretty firm on this, mostly because experience has taught me that even in the "best" private academies, you'll find your share of mediocre teachers, just as you'll find brilliant educators in schools that everyone else labels as "awful." As for why a teacher's reputation or standardized test scores aren't my priority when picking a school? Well, I guess it's because I know my own children better than anyone, and I truly believe that everything instilled at home from such a young age is what ultimately matters most during their schooling. Aside from certain innate predispositions, talents, or abilities—which I respect, support, and try to nurture in every way possible—things like home upbringing, a sense of responsibility, and solid work habits are absolutely crucial. It’s not about whether some teacher lectures from an ivory tower or shows up late to class. To me, those things are secondary, and honestly, they often just serve as convenient excuses for someone who doesn't like a subject, struggles with it, or is just naturally lazy. I mean, you could have the most perfect math teacher in the country, but if you're just hopeless at math, you're still going to need a tutor if you want to pass an AP exam and get decent grades. Similarly, you could end up with a catastrophic history teacher, but if you've been fascinated by history since you were little—if your parents read you picture books about > when you were small, or you spend your free time watching documentaries on > and reading about Greek mythology—you're obviously going to crush any national standardized test.
And regarding those affinities and talents you mentioned being so focused on—yes, I consider those to be the absolute most important thing, and I don't think there's any job market out there that will ever convince me otherwise. Pushing someone into a field where they have zero natural inclination or ability is basically a perfect recipe for a miserable life. Again, I'm looking at my own children and speaking exclusively about them. I know they'll find their way, even if they don't choose the most lucrative career path in the world. I didn't choose the highest-paying job myself, yet I am perfectly happy with my career and my life. If I weren't, I would have changed something a long time ago; I'm neither foolish nor lazy, nor am I lacking in initiative. I'm content, and unfortunately, I know that's a bit of a rarity these days. 🙂
Dennis Alvarez2, believe it or not, I couldn't care less about the standardized test scores of specific schools, and honestly, elementary school performance doesn't move the needle for me either, since there are just so many variables involved that I don't think it makes sense to write off an entire school just because their students didn't nail the SATs or whatever national exam they're taking at the moment. My kids are going to choose their paths based on what they’re actually good at, their own talents, and where their interests lie. If they decide they want to go to a general high school, I really don't have a preference for which one it ends up being, and the same goes for specialized academies. If they want a vocational track, then that's where they'll go. I have no intention of making a huge scene or breathing panic into my children over these things, much like how I don't see any point in obsessively studying school rankings. I've never dug into that rabbit hole in my life, and I don't plan to start now. I might know a little bit about certain local districts through experience or people I know, but none of that information is going to be the deciding factor in pushing them toward one school or blocking them from another just because the average score for A-level math was only a 2.3 the year before last.🧐
So, are you trying to jump down my throat again?🤦 If that question rubs you the wrong way, you really don't have to answer it. I guess I was just wondering if this is all driven by pure curiosity, because I can't quite wrap my head around why anyone would bother studying a massive pile of data if those numbers don't actually impact anything. I suppose if someone uses them to decide whether to move a kid to a different—maybe better?🤔—elementary school, or if they want to map out a list of realistic or totally unreachable colleges five or ten years down the line, then fine, that makes sense. But, I don't know, it feels more like that endless, somewhat pointless cycle of comparing and analyzing which school is supposedly better or harder and which one is worse or easier.
But seriously though: what are you actually planning to do with all this data? Are you just digging through these spreadsheets out of pure curiosity, or is there some deeper motive at play here..? I mean, what does it really prove when you link someone's high school to the college they eventually attended? What kind of insight is that actually supposed to provide...? 😵
hiddendriver34 said:Private schools can be a total game-changer for many kids and parents who have the means. A colleague of mine actually moved her child—who has an IEP—into a private vocational school after finishing sophomore year. Honestly? The kid completely blossomed.
I suppose private schools are really designed for those students who just aren't clicking with the public school system for whatever reason. Whether it’s issues with Intel, difficulty adjusting to the environment, or maybe just struggling to keep up with grades... In a private setting, the focus tends to stay on the parents and the students themselves, which I guess is exactly what those families are looking for. So, if they have the money, then honestly, thank goodness they go to private schools; it just frees up more space in the public ones.🙏
Carl Bishop2 said:Well, maybe that's because they've already cleared those hurdles?
That's pretty funny, I guess.🙄 I suppose we might be spending years sitting on these admissions committees, so we end up seeing just about everything imaginable. Because, believe it or not, for someone to actually be enrolled, they first have to go through the process of applying, and you can run into all sorts of things during that period.😲 And if you'd rather me talk about elementary schoolers who haven't even reached the application stage yet—well, I have two kids myself, and I've been hearing all sorts of stories from parents since they were in second or third grade.🙂
mellowskipper said:I suspect it’s mostly because the general public doesn't really visit this site anymore. It’s just not their scene. They’re probably all over Instagram or TikTok talking about this stuff instead.
I think you might be forgetting that some of them are constantly surrounded by hundreds of high schoolers in their everyday lives. they don't really give a second thought to things like enrollment numbers, calculating GPA, or meeting certain academic thresholds. they just kind of assume the parents will handle all that heavy lifting.😁 it seems to me they only get worked up if they notice the adults around them starting to stress out, and then they just end up caught in that same loop.
Kate Jackson4 said:In my opinion, the worst part is how active this thread is—high school discussions happening on a parenting subforum... that says everything we need to know. I’ve tried asking questions in high school threads where actual students or alumni post, but there's absolutely nobody there...
It used to be that parents barely knew which school their kid was heading to, and most kids handled the whole process themselves... nowadays, we're fighting their battles for them, obsessing over GPA and admissions... that's why this isn't working.😢
Susan James said:Where did you actually read that if you didn't have perfect grades for four years, you aren't cut out for a prep school? I never said that. My point is that there are plenty of kids who pass with high marks but still aren't suited for that kind of academic environment:
-Any kid who can't just sit down and study on their own during middle school isn't ready for a rigorous prep school. -A child who finds it incredibly stressful to handle just a few tests a week isn't built for that lifestyle. -A kid who skips hanging out with friends or traveling with their parents on long weekends just to maintain an A average isn't meant for that path. -A child whose entire grade depends on one final exam—not just in one subject, but in most of them—probably isn't ready for that pressure. -A child whose parent has to take vacation days just to help them finish projects and reading assignments likely won't thrive in a standard academic track; they might be better suited for vocational paths, maybe working at a Coca-Cola plant or training as a chef or pastry artist.
Kids with a 3.8 or 3.9 GPA typically enroll in these schools quite normally. In Washington, D.C. Sure, they might not get into those ultra-elite private academies, but honestly, who actually wants their kid studying relentlessly from dawn to dusk? This is the age when they should be falling in love, going to concerts, hanging out in the park, or just being teenagers. There’s only a tiny percentage of kids who are truly mature enough to know at age 12 that they want to be surgeons and therefore need those top-tier schools. But those kids are fine; they usually breeze through middle school. They might struggle a bit with gym or art, but even then, they often excel because they're so focused on everything else.
I second everything said here, from start to finish.😲eek:😲 #snowsnail
hiddendriver34 said:True, but let's be real: a parent can either dial that stress and anxiety way up or help bring it down.
Sure, a kid might be dead-set on a school that demands a 4.0, but what happens if they don't get in? Is it the end of the world? Does everything fall apart? Or do they just head to another great school? It’s honestly pretty unhealthy to pin all your future happiness on a single goal like that. Life is unpredictable. A kid could land a spot at their "dream" school and end up miserable, begging for a transfer after the first semester. On the flip side, they might miss out on their first choice and end up totally thriving somewhere else. So much of it comes down to luck—like hitting the jackpot with a great group of friends or landing a teacher who actually gets you. Even in the same building, the experience can be night and day.
That’s why, even when a kid is absolutely spiraling, the parent needs to be the voice of reason. You have to be the anchor, not someone adding fuel to the fire and cranking up the pressure.
I mean, I guess everyone is essentially being registered "against their will" at this point. it’s the kind of thing neither parents nor teachers actually want to deal with, really.
Larry Walker24 said:Even Voltino stays in after-school care until 3rd grade.
I can't really speak for Voltino, but those two schools aren't even close enough geographically for parents to be seriously weighing one against the other or... or anything like that, I guess.🤷
So, the 8mas meetup is happening tomorrow over in the Washington, D.C. suburbs, but looking at the weather forecast, things aren't exactly looking great, I guess.🕺
Susan James said:So basically, taxpayers are footing the bill for CNN programs in private schools? 🙏 🙏 🙏
Honestly, the situation at Lincoln Elementary just baffles me. One thing that comes to mind is that since the school is so popular, they might be trying to trim their student numbers (since interest in CNN probably won't be nearly as high as they expect). After the big storms we had back in December, I noticed a ton of parents from the suburbs were moving their kids over to the district, though some were turned away because the local schools were already packed. There’s an entire new residential development built right around the school area now with tons of new apartments, so demand will likely skyrocket over the years. I just don't see how they'll manage the growth—unless they've somehow secured massive funding from the EU or the World Bank.
They really don't have the footprint for it. It used to be that everyone was clamoring to get in because of the after-school programs running through third or maybe fourth grade, though I'm not entirely sure about that part. Anyway, when I get a chance, I’ll probably try to dig into who actually pushed this through and what their reasoning was, because I find it hard to believe that the Board of Education just sat there and happily shook hands on a Dual Enrollment plan.