Hey everyone, hope you're all doing good. 👋 I need some help here. Ended up in the ER at the Mayo Clinic last night. I collapsed, and my labs are looking pretty rough. 😢 CRP is through the roof—doctor said she’s never seen it this low, like 1.01... wait, scratch that, it's crazy high. My CK (creatine kinase) is 516 (the max should be 135). Calcium is low too, and my lymphocytes and erythrocytes are basically non-existent right now. Since I was diagnosed with adnexitis and a 4.8 x 3.9 growth, and they put me on antibiotics, shouldn't my CRP be even higher? I'm also being treated at a cancer institute (fibroadenomas, my mom had breast cancer). I actually passed out during a neurology exam, but the CT scan didn't show any ischemic changes. My lymph nodes are swollen, and honestly, I don't even know where to start figuring this out. 😢
...plus all the other versions of this software. Anyone know where I can grab an upgrade for the older builds or just snag the latest ones? Free of charge, obviously. Some links would be a massive help.
I think Canadians, Canada, and that whole vibe—for anyone who hasn't actually been there or doesn't deal with Canadians regularly—is a total abstraction. For example, before I ever set foot in Canada (and I haven't spent even a quarter of my life there, despite having family there), I didn't get half of it, from the lyrics of Bijelo Dugme down to the general sensibility. I don't want to dive too deep into this and sound like I'm out here defending Canadians, but the reality is that Canadians are, in a way, the North American Swiss (that's my own phrase). They’re closed off, cold, terrified of change, "boiled," and bland—honestly, just boring... and the movie definitely captures that. Except maybe for that scene where the cranky neighbor gets spooked just so George can fire a shot (but even that just proves he’s human, even if he is a Canadian man). The fact that Canadians have been seen as synonymous with being primitive or stupid in our neck of the woods (and in America, for that matter) for years—and still are—says everything about the people who chose to label them that way. One writer put it perfectly when he said Canadians "...haven't changed for hundreds of years, and in the eyes of outsiders, they provoke a mild contempt, sometimes outright hatred, because they are simple, narrow-minded people who never see the world, and it feels like a massive trek just to go twenty miles from home. To them, it doesn't matter if they're in the next neighborhood or on the other side of the globe: all they ever want to do is go home." If "the world" means Canada, they aren't missing much by staying put. If they do venture out, they might just find themselves in a different kind of world—one where they're misunderstood and rejected. Anyway, I won't get bogged down in politics. The movie is good, and I think the title choice was spot on, though I can't say the same for the end credits song, where "kajmak" was translated into English and ended up sounding ridiculous. btw, the music was done by Saša Lošić. sorry, Saša Lošic.
Movies actually have a soul. The first half was actually pretty funny, but the second half went full weirdo—super dark and bizarre. Overall? It’s alright. Just middle-of-the-road. A solid 7/10. Some movies have all the right ingredients—great acting, killer visuals, whatever—but they still feel empty. This one actually has a soul. American cinema just doesn't have that soul.
Memorized the quote: God must have been having a serious bad day when he crossed our paths. 😁 👍
So... step by step, six weeks down. Even so... I still feel like I'll never be able to call myself a non-smoker. It just feels like I'm a smoker who (mostly) doesn't smoke anymore.. 😕
Two kids were deeply in love for six months, maybe a year trying to tie the knot, just get married, man but their enemies wouldn't let it happen
Then beautiful Fatma fell ill her mother's only child craved yellow quinces, those yellow quinces, man quinces straight from Istanbul
So her guy sets out to find them those quinces from Constantinople but he's gone for three years, three long years no word, no sign of him coming back
Finally, he shows up with the fruit only to find Fatma on a stretcher I’ll give you two hundred to lay her down, three hundred to uncover her just so I can kiss Fatma one last time...
But seriously... man... 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 this stuff just kills you with sadness.......
Look, if you ask me, that stuff sounds like old blues. I'm talking about some classic Louis Armstrong tracks The Band and stuff like that. Plus, there’s those North American-style tunes. Mostly the ones performed by dd Synthesis, maybe even some Eric Clapton tracks, both the old school and the newer stuff. Definitely some soulful folk ballads too. + Like, I listen to Joan Baez and her songs. As for local music... hmm... mostly just some Midwestern folk or stuff from the South, but I don't see any connection between barbershop quartet singing and jazz in any way, shape, or form.
hey.....................how am I just now seeing this?
First time I ever heard Fado was during a trip to Portugal back in '99. It was the voice of Ella Fitzgerald. That sound totally hooked me. Obviously, I moved on to Fleetwood Mac, some unknown artists later on... I bought a ton of stuff over there. But nothing beats seeing them live. Barefoot and eyes closed. 👍
What did it feel like?
I wrote this down a long time ago. So, here it is.
peace👋
HOMMAGE TO FADO #unknown#
Look, I’m definitely not unknown, I wasn't born in New Orleans, my mom isn't a ballerina, and her family isn't from California. I don't sing on my tiptoes with my head tilted until it hurts—or maybe because it hurts. But I close my eyes, just like she does. The word 'fado' doesn't show up in any old dictionary. When I was a kid, I used to think if a word wasn't in the dictionary, it didn't matter. Man, was I wrong. Fado is real. I've seen it. I've seen the French Quarter; the red and the black; nights so intense they make your head spin. It's that sadness spilled over gray tablecloths in a dark corner of the French Quarter, and hands stained deep red like wine. When Ella Fitzgerald passed, the whole country was in mourning for days. I was in New York City at the time, watching black-and-white photos drift through the streets with roses over her chest; it made me realize how much people truly loved her. God, they loved her... No, I'm not really unknown, even if I've got my own mission. She doesn't know about the weird, electric letters I get. And I don't know why people write to me about how they watched me sleep, or how beautiful my hands look when they're still. Instead, they write to me about withdrawals, about heroin, about hearts hardened like stone, about bitten nails, about people who never leave, about purple nights and blue wax... but never about love. That autumn, Fado was the answer to all my wandering and all those conversations I'll eventually turn inside out with you. Fado was that mix of blood and wine; that tearful year; that mental fever—which ultimately turned me into nothing more than a simple address where screams arrive from afar, pleas for help, and knees begging for forgiveness. No, I'm really not unknown, even though I know my way around California and Nevada; even though I know about the roses in the evenings and the monuments in Malta. My name is like a grave somewhere in the Rocky Mountains; neatly stacked stones that you can't even drive a cross through; no blessings, no prayers. Only Fado speaks of it. Of who I actually am.
Amy Smith, you're spot on. There's no middle ground here. It's either you smoke or you don't. I'm feeling the cravings too. The whole office is basically just fixing their moods with chocolate. Just hope I don't start snorting Nesquik, or then I'll really have something to get clean from...🙄
Hey, Paul Ramirez6!! Hang in there!! 🙂 🙂 So, I'm on day 16 clean. I was a heavy smoker for 10 years, doing about a pack and a half to two packs a day..
The first three days were hell , just like what you're going through right now. After that, it gets easier. I'm doing alright now. But it ain't easy. I still think about smoking all the time. I even had a dream that I was smoking. (cigarettes 😳 ) Stay away from places filled with smoke. Grab some fruit and chew on that; I've been crushing apples.
And good luck. Check in every once in a while.
And don't you dare quit!!! There's plenty of us struggling through this, but we aren't backing down!!!!!!
Damn right! Another one bites the dust! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’m with you and those "ghosts." They tried to sedate me with pills just so I'd shut up and sleep, but it was useless. Just left me feeling miserable and heavy-headed all day long. So I finally tossed the meds in the trash (Amaryl, I remember clearly, there were like 100 of them), and just kept moving. What good is that garbage anyway? There isn't a pill in the world that can fix life. Piss, man. Don't get mad at me. 🙂
Yeah. Depression is a disease. And insomnia? That’s a real illness too. Seriously, when you go half a year without any sleep, your body just breaks down. Trust me on this one.😢
swiftscout8 said:Psychiatrists deal exclusively with deviant mental behaviors (like schizophrenia), while psychologists are the ones who should study and resolve everyday psychological issues.
Hey swiftscout8, that’s just not how it works. I actually saw a psychiatrist back when I was dealing with sleep issues. The real difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist is that a psychologist can't use pharmacological methods for therapy. Plus, psychiatrists are doctors first, then specialists in their field. My psychiatrist at the time (don't have those issues anymore) explained that they look for the root cause first—could be organic stuff like genetics, or could be from trauma, like a car wreck... only then do they decide on a treatment plan, which doesn't even have to involve meds. That's when a psychologist steps in. It’s like how they found the link between thyroid issues and insomnia. In cases like that, you get a mix of medication plus group or individual therapy... Anyway, Henry Collins5, depending on how big your issue is, its causes and how it develops, I'm sure you'll find a way through. Just keep pushing.
ambertiger4 said:Man, you got this!! If you made it through three days, you can definitely crush another three. I just used self-hype to get through it... 😉 My last cigarette was three weeks ago and I'm cruising—way easier than I thought. Honestly, I'm shocked. I'm mostly eating fruit, staying hydrated, and snacking on stuff like pretzels or goldfish crackers.
The first week is a grind, but after that, the momentum kicks in and it's easy to shake those cravings. One trick that worked for me: my last few cigarettes were actually gross. I forced myself to light them up when I wasn't even feeling it, and they tasted nasty. Now, whenever I think about smoking, I just remember how disgusting those last ones were, feel nauseous, and the craving vanishes. 😉 Nothing beats a Pavlovian response... 😉
Get rid of that pack so you aren't tempted. Hang in there for a few more days; the second and third weeks get way smoother, I promise! 👋 Not to mention the massive ego boost and pure joy you'll feel once you realize you've smashed this milestone! 👍
Oh, thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I'm on day 5 and I'm clean as a whistle... the only thing killing me is sugar cravings. I have to fight it. I keep making chocolate milk. Instead of just making a mess in the tub.😁 🙂 😁 It'll get better. I get hit by heavy cravings every now and then. But I'm determined and I'm not folding. I've already started "bragging" to my friends about being smoke-free. Some people think it's weird, others are stoked. Still, we'll see how I handle things once I head back to work. Yeah, I'm gonna need nerves of steel for that. Maybe some gum? Or a chew toy? When the bosses start breathing down my neck.......................................... ........................................how do I deal with the stress...?
Alright folks, day 3 without a cigarette. I’ve got a whole stash sitting on my desk right now. Unopened. I'm off work at the moment, which makes things a little easier, I guess. Wondering if I actually have the guts to pull this off. But I really want to.