Posts by granitefalcon26

Edward Nguyen2 said:Why should a woman even care about "holding herself together"? I mean, what does that even mean anymore since social standards change every five minutes? 😕

I wouldn't say there are women men won't go for. There aren't as many unattractive or clueless women out there as there are desperate guys, whether they're single or taken. 😉

Bingo! 👍 😂🤣
It’s not all about looks, either. Beauty fades, but a nasty personality? That sticks around forever.😁

driftingmaker said:It feels like there aren't many women who can truly relax without being totally unkempt or not caring about themselves at all.
So many people struggle to actually enjoy their relationships or intimacy because they're obsessing over tiny, trivial details. They get caught up in jealousy, constant checking, or petty arguments. When you're constantly insecure about your looks, you end up being difficult—first with yourself, then with everyone else. Then they blame men, not realizing that they're the ones creating the friction in the first place.

In the end, once they find themselves alone, they convince themselves they're "happier single" just to cope. Yeah, right. 🙄
This goes for men too.

At the end of the day, it usually boils down to selfishness, frustration, or just a fear of trying again.

Jealousy is just a nasty habit.😁🤣

Jamie Johnson6 said:Well, since you've already shared your thoughts on that, I suppose my response is simply a direct reaction to what you just said. 😕
You tend to repeat yourself because you truly believe that is the case. This one's for you. Is this simply a waste of time, or are you emphasizing that it’s a complete waste of time? I truly hope people like that never have families of their own—though, of course, I mean those who don't actually want them, because I personally know quite a few individuals who refuse to admit they don't want children and end up causing so much heartache for the women and kids in their lives.
I honestly don't see the issue when it comes to people who choose not to pursue romantic partnerships—and I’m specifically talking about life partners here, not just friends or siblings—or those who decide that having children isn't for them. It feels like a genuine victory that American society is finally maturing enough to embrace this kind of diversity, recognizing that marriage and parenthood simply aren't universal requirements for a fulfilling life. Not everyone is built for that path, and frankly, considering how crowded the world has become, perhaps it's for the best.🤷 I honestly don't see what the big deal is. If someone genuinely finds joy in raising children, then they should just go for it and be happy about it.

When it comes to dolphins and sharks, we have to be honest—it really all boils down to the bottom line. Of course, kids tend to blow through their allowances pretty quickly, so if you're working with a tight budget, choosing those types of experiences often feels out of reach for families. It’s just one of those things where, if you had someone like Brad Pitt looking after them, he could easily adopt a few more and still have far more disposable income than the rest of us to fund his hobbies and enjoy his free time. 🤷
On another note, unless your hobby involves daily sessions diving with sharks—which, by the way, I’m genuinely curious about, how many times have you actually been out there?—those few hours of diving you mentioned aren't really a conflict with having kids. It’s more about managing a lack of free time. Kids won't stand in the way of your passions, believe me; if anything, they tend to fuel that drive to make every moment count.😁 To be perfectly honest, even if I didn't have a child to provide for, my current salary wouldn't get me much further than Denver.
Once again, I find myself thinking about how having children—for those of us who truly desire them—is an adventure that far outweighs any thrill-seeking vacation, whether you’re scuba diving in Maui or trekking through the Rockies. It’s something much more intense, unpredictable, and honestly, a bit more stressful than any tourist activity could ever be. Perhaps you have a point; we end up burning through all our adrenaline on things like toddler tantrums, late-night ER runs, those first precious words, and the general chaos of parenting. It’s exhausting, really, and it always leaves me wondering if everyone is actually built for this lifestyle. Personally, I don't believe they are. It’s incredibly complex, and if you don't inherently possess that specific spark to find joy in the madness, then the whole experience can easily turn into a struggle.

I've done about a hundred dives. Plus, I hit up two big adventure destinations every year. Throw a midlife crisis into the mix, and there you go.🤣
Once you have a family and kids, your priorities shift completely. You end up playing this endless game of just trying to make it to payday.

Matthew Edwards2 said:Not every woman fits into a neat little box of being a lady or a slut. Some women hold themselves to high standards and won't sell themselves, sure. But for others, this is just their job—they pay their taxes just like anyone else, and I see it as a profession. Honestly, sometimes they even lean into those labels. It's complicated, right?

The truth is, 90% of these women do it because they’re broke and struggling to make ends meet. If they had any other options, they wouldn't be standing on a street corner near you. They wouldn't even give you a second glance. ☕

Chloe Nguyen3 said:So, how many days a year are you actually out there diving with sharks? My guess is you did it once in your life at some exotic spot and that was it. And hey, that’s fine—if that one trip keeps you stoked for the next ten years, or if you're loaded enough to pull it off again next year, whatever.
Look, even when you've got kids running around, you can still carve out some actual freedom and find time to just exist without someone breathing down your neck.

I’ve never actually done the whole single life thing since I’ve been with my man since forever, but honestly, I think living alone would suck. Like, the idea of having to eat lunch by myself every single day or going to bed in an empty house? Yeah, no thanks. We’ve basically mastered the art of being married and raising kids while still giving each other space to breathe, which is why I can be sitting here scrolling through this forum right now while my husband and our kid are glued to some Hulk Hogan rerun that I couldn't care less about.
By the way, you guys are out here talking about those night shift workers like they’re nothing, and someone actually had the nerve to call them Kanye Wests. That’s just straight-up trashy behavior. It’s pretty pathetic when you consider you’re all still using their services while spitting on them like that; honestly, your sweat and everything else is basically mixed in with what they provide. As far as I'm concerned, none of you have any business even opening your mouths on this topic.

How can you even look at yourself in the mirror after sleeping with a woman like that? I don't care if you actually paid her for the privilege or whatever—it still feels wrong. How do you just go about your day afterward?

That’s a flawed assumption. I personally head out at least twice a year, and on average, a trip like that runs me about $3,000—and that's not even counting airfare. If you're trying to do that with a whole family, you might as well just stay home and watch Animal Planet (assuming you can actually afford cable or satellite). Seriously, every extra cent goes straight toward utilities and groceries. If you're actually pulling in a decent salary, you might get lucky enough to snag a week at a little hotel somewhere along the Atlantic Ocean. You're welcome.☕

Chloe Nguyen3 said:So, how many days a year are you actually out there diving with sharks? My guess is you did it once in your life at some exotic spot and that was it. And hey, that’s fine—if that one trip keeps you stoked for the next ten years, or if you're loaded enough to pull it off again next year, whatever.
Look, even when you've got kids running around, you can still carve out some actual freedom and find time to just exist without someone breathing down your neck.

I’ve never actually done the whole single life thing since I’ve been with my man since forever, but honestly, I think living alone would suck. Like, the idea of having to eat lunch by myself every single day or going to bed in an empty house? Yeah, no thanks. We’ve basically mastered the art of being married and raising kids while still giving each other space to breathe, which is why I can be sitting here scrolling through this forum right now while my husband and our kid are glued to some Hulk Hogan rerun that I couldn't care less about.
By the way, you guys are out here talking about those night shift workers like they’re nothing, and someone actually had the nerve to call them Kanye Wests. That’s just straight-up trashy behavior. It’s pretty pathetic when you consider you’re all still using their services while spitting on them like that; honestly, your sweat and everything else is basically mixed in with what they provide. As far as I'm concerned, none of you have any business even opening your mouths on this topic.

How can you even look at yourself in the mirror after sleeping with a woman like that? I don't care if you actually paid her for the privilege or whatever—it still feels wrong. How do you just go about your day afterward?

I like to think of traveling like surfing the web—you’re just riding the waves of information until you find that one perfect swell.😂🤣.
Just enjoy it while it lasts! Once your little one starts growing like crazy, you won't be able to do any of this stuff anymore.😁

Chloe Nguyen3 said:... and then you go ahead and insult her like that. Even if she's a total mess, look, she’s a human being—maybe not a class act, sure, but she gave you what you wanted. Honestly, the way you're acting says a lot more about your own character than hers, and it really opens up a whole different set of issues.

Seriously, please actually read what I wrote. Go find the specific post where I actually called a woman a Kanye West.🙄
The reality is, some women just do what they have to do to make ends meet. College isn't cheap.

Gerald Grant3 said:Oh, thanks a lot... either I'm a genius or I should just end it all 😁

Jokes aside, the pressure from everyone around you is massive... why would things be any easier for you than they are for us? So fine, let's just beat you to death then...😲

Exactly. 👍 That is precisely what's happening here. 😉

Gerald Grant3 said:Wait, seriously, has anyone actually explained why this thread is even sitting in the psychology section? 🙂

It's basically a psychological dilemma. Do you enjoy life to the fullest, or stay married and spend your days thinking about ending it all?😂🤣

Jamie Johnson6 said:Well, looking at it this way, a man like that isn't really built for long-term love or marriage... it’s such a shame you went through that marriage (I imagine it left you with a bit of a broken heart). Personally, your recent adventures don't sound unappealing to me at all—in fact, I’d love to experience them myself, though I can't quite fathom how one would manage all that while balancing kids and a marriage. But my main point is that, for me, a simple yesterday spent with my kid and my husband was much more beautiful than any of those activities (unless they were sharing those experiences with me... but that's a different story entirely).
It makes me think there are certain people who simply shouldn't get married or have children, because you can't raise kids just by showing them postcards from your travels; it's just a reality of life, and I don't see why it's so difficult for people to accept.
I have a friend who is honestly the ideal partner, with one major exception: he isn't cut out for the long haul. He's wonderful for a friendship—loyal, incredibly responsible, and reliable—but he finds so much fulfillment in a life without a family that he openly admits it, so everyone eventually gave up on trying to "fix" his situation. A large portion of people who aren't suited for marriage are individuals whose mental health is somewhat questionable; it's easy to maintain a hundred superficial friendships, look great, and even make good money, but marriage tends to reveal much more about a person than we might care to know—though I won't dwell on them, as that's a whole separate conversation.

I'd much rather spend my day scuba diving with dolphins or sharks than wasting time on family stuff.☕

Matthew Edwards2 said:This new divorce law proposal is just going to drive marriage rates down. Why even bother getting married?
With Kuraba doing the heavy lifting, you don't even have to bring a wife home or deal with marriage. 😁

I'm with you on this one.👍

Melissa Walker5 said:I mean, why wouldn't this work if you're actually hitched to someone who gets just as hyped about traveling and diving with sharks as you do?

The odds would be about one in a million. 😂🤣
I’d basically need to be an executive at some Fortune 500 company just so we could both afford it. (An 8-day dive cruise with all the bells and whistles, excluding flights, ran me about $4,000)
BTW, she’d start nagging me immediately about drinking too much or eating too much.🤣

redcanyon93 said:I completely agree with you regarding that condescending tone, as if she’s lived a thousand lifetimes. Honestly, she hasn't even grasped the core of what we're discussing.

@granitefalcon26 - most people are just driven by pure envy; they desperately want to believe that since you're divorced, things must be going terribly for you😁 and that their own miserable marriages are somehow superior simply because they aren't flying solo😁—as if being cheated on, feeling utterly depressed, and hating the very person you wake up next to every morning isn't a massive tragedy compared to your situation. Good grief, I have lost count of how many times I've heard these pathetic excuses from "girlfriends"...😁

What I was actually trying to get at is that, when weighing the constant turmoil of a toxic relationship against peaceful solitude (which, let's be honest, has its own downsides), I would much rather embrace a quiet, high-quality life alone🙂 than have the freedom to travel whenever I want, only to have someone constantly monitoring my every move or worrying that those extra three pounds might "threaten" the marriage and give my spouse an excuse to go out and cheat... and so on.

Maybe choosing the path of least resistance is a bit lazy, but in my book, it's a much more dignified way to live...🙂

I totally agree. 👍 My inner peace is everything to me.
By the way, if I were still married, I could only dream of having this kind of peace. 😉

driftingmaker said:What was the author trying to say?

You really have to ask the other side how they’re doing in the marriage, too. You need to know if it’s a partnership or just straight-up forced labor.😍

driftingmaker said:🤣 That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I've been through a rough marriage myself, but I know healthy relationships and marriages really do exist.
I spent a long time being single by choice, and I didn't feel like I was missing anything. But then I happened to meet someone who brings me such peace; I can be my true self at any moment and feel completely free. It’s everything I used to think only existed in movies. And I finally found it now, in my middle years.
So, I definitely know what I'm talking about.

People always ask me how my marriage is going. Honestly? It’s great. How is it so great? Well, it's pretty simple. My husband handles the cooking, keeps the house running, and looks after the kids. Meanwhile, I make sure to take all my work stress out on them the second I walk through the door. Sounds a little rough, I know, but hey—it works for us! 🙄

driftingmaker said:Good marriages don't exist if yours was a disaster. 🙄
Anyway, let's get back to the topic at hand.

Every time they aren't around, it hurts—seeing them smile at other women or hearing those harsh words.

Do you really think this looks like a healthy relationship?
If you're cool with using harsh language, then that's fine by me.

Keep enjoying that freedom; I'm really glad to hear you're having such a great time. 🙂

Honestly, I don't even know what makes a marriage "good," so maybe my standards are just skewed.☕
I'm done with all the dating drama—relationships, flings, nothing. Definitely no marriage for me.🙄🙂 For everything else, there's always an escort service. 👍

driftingmaker said:Envious? 😕
Did you even really catch what she was saying?
Go ahead and read it again.
It's obvious the girl went through some rough stuff, so being single is just better for her.

And you being stuck in a marriage with the wrong person without any freedom is the exact same thing. There are marriages where people can actually be themselves. 😉

What part of that was talking down? Please, give me an example.

And yeah, I've definitely seen my fair share of life, if that matters.

Sure, those kinds of marriages exist on paper.🤣
I did read her post. She said she’s better off single, but I didn't see anything in there about her having majorly traumatic experiences in her relationship.😁

driftingmaker said:It sounds like you might be struggling with self-esteem or negative thoughts, so you're choosing the path of least resistance.

Once you build yourself up enough to be steady and fulfilled—so that you're content even when a partner isn't around, provided they are positive enough that you don't spiral when they leave your side—then being in a relationship will feel great too.

It's like deciding not to buy ice cream because you're afraid one drip might ruin your shirt. You just watch everyone else enjoy it so you can stay perfectly clean.

At the end of the day, it's about what you choose to make of yourself and your life; it doesn't matter what everyone else considers "normal."

Personally, I think that mindset is a bit cowardly.

In other words, why should she be the only one having a good time? There’s really no reason to be jealous.🙂
Back when I was married, I felt like I couldn't do anything that actually made me happy. Now that I'm divorced, I feel like a whole new person. I finally have plenty of time to focus on myself, which means I can dive headfirst into all the adrenaline sports I love. I even spent New Year's diving with sharks over on Coconut Island!373 miles I'm planning a trip to the coasts of Costa Rica soon, and then in just a month, I'm heading off to Tanzania for a mix of safaris and diving.
I'm loving life right now. 👍

Jason Vaughn482 said:I am well aware of that, but it feels like I have to cycle through these medications endlessly until I finally stumble upon the right one; it’s an exhausting process of trial and error where I'm constantly forced to pivot. Take Elicea, for example—it felt as though I had been drinking heavily for two days straight, leaving me with such a nasty allergic reaction and skin rash that I wouldn't dare touch it again, even though there are so many options out there. Since I've only actually tried two or three of them, my experience is limited, but I did find that the local health portal was quite helpful initially, though everything seemed to short-circuit after a few months. I ended up feeling so unwell that I had to stop using it entirely, yet part of me still wishes I could go back to how things were before the breakdown.

Finding the right antidepressant is no walk in the park. You really have to push back on your psychiatrist.
I got lucky, though. Found the perfect AD on my very first try, zero side effects whatsoever.😍

Jason Vaughn482 said:

granitefalcon26 As follows:
Just keep going down that path. At this rate, you’re well on your way to becoming a full-blown junkie.🙄
Let’s be honest: Xanax is nothing more than a temporary bandage for a gaping wound. It might serve as your first line of defense when things get chaotic, but don't mistake a quick fix for a cure. In my experience, that pill hasn't actually healed a single soul; it just masks the symptoms while the underlying issues continue to fester right under the surface.🙄

I am acutely aware of the reality here—that nearly everyone on an AT&T regimen is also juggling some form of anxiolytic just to stay afloat. It is a disheartening cycle, isn't it? I see so many people who have been cycling through these medications for years, yet they remain trapped in the same mental loops, never truly finding that elusive shore of recovery. I find myself yearning for a different path, a different chemical architecture altogether, but I feel adrift without a compass. What exactly are you taking, and did you ever actually reach a state of remission? You possess a distinct advantage in this regard; being a physician means you have the agency to pivot and swap out your AT&T every single month, whereas my doctor remains stubbornly fixed in her ways. Since she refuses to budge, I am turning to you for guidance. Could you recommend an AT&T that actually targets anxiety, panic, and this relentless hypochondria? I am willing to experiment if it means finally finding relief. So far, my experience with Zoloft was a total wash, and even the small dose of Calixium I’m currently managing seems to have absolutely zero impact on my anxiety levels. I would be profoundly grateful for any insight you can offer.

P.S. And let me be perfectly clear: I am not suggesting that I have descended into the ranks of the true junkies. Regardless of how others might perceive my situation, I remain firmly convinced that there is a far more profound level of damage inflicted by consuming something like AT&T over a three-year stretch. That said, one has to tip their hat to the potency of Dawn; it’s truly something else.
What is your take on Solian—or amisulpride, to be precise? I currently have a small stash sitting here at home: about twenty 100 mg tablets.

Medicine isn't math. One antidepressant might work wonders for one person and do absolutely nothing for someone else.
For me, Elicea helped dial down the panic, but that doesn't mean it'll be your magic fix.

Andrew Peterson14 said:People who say we should just stop taking these meds clearly have no clue. If I hadn't started antidepressants, I don't even know where I'd be. I tried pretty much every alternative method under the sun before that, and nothing helped—honestly, everything just made it worse.

Magdalena, I meant anxiolytics for those crisis moments—I usually just take some Xanax...
Jason Vaughn482, what saved me was basically a combo of antidepressants, Xanax, therapy, and a detox program I did in Vienna—plus just having a massive drive to get through it.
It was a rough ride...
And I was genuinely struggling—like, right on the edge..

Don't get upset now.😉
It feels like someone pops up on this forum every single day trying to act like an expert and pushing "natural" alternatives on everyone.🙂🙂