Posts by James Miller2

Jacob Mitchell3 said:The influence of the family is being overestimated here. A person isn't destined to be a lifelong prisoner to their parents' opinions and values as if they were infallible icons. In reality, they are just ordinary, flawed individuals whose moral compasses are often nothing more than a collection of arbitrary norms derived from outdated ideologies or the simple fear of what the neighbors might think. As people mature, they scrutinize the values they were raised with, subjecting them to critical thinking and mental deconstruction. They rebel, they push back, and they forge their own paths to develop true individuality.

Psychology itself offers very little to the human condition. People are fundamentally concerned with who they are, their origins, their ultimate destination, the purpose of existence, whether there is an afterlife, and whether humans differ from animals in kind rather than just degree. They grapple with questions of free will, divinity, eternal life, and moral responsibility. Since psychology lacks the answers to these existential inquiries, it is somewhat presumptuous to suggest it can truly understand the root causes of human "evil."

By family, I don't just mean blood relatives. I mean those who raise you. Those who play a major role in your life.

It has always been this way. First the tribe, then the family, then the community. You cannot live alone. Well, you can, but it is much harder.
Humans are social creatures.

Once we mature and gain life experience, we have a choice. We decide how we want to live. We choose what to adopt and what to discard.

Kate Nguyen2 said:Hey everyone! So, I was scrolling through this other political thread the other day—total rabbit hole situation—and it got me thinking about how little we actually get as a society when it comes to psychology, psychopathology, and just... human behavior in general. There was this one specific case being discussed about a terrorist who everyone swore was just this totally chill, harmless guy. And it hit me—that pattern repeats *so* often. That "quiet kid next door" or the "perfectly polite neighbor" who suddenly snaps and commits some horrific act... it’s terrifyingly common. It’s the same thing with domestic violence, too. Neighbors and friends are always left standing there like, "Wait, what? But he was such a gentleman!" or "She was always so bubbly and sweet!" while they're actually suffering behind closed doors. Not even mentioning all those tragic cases of self-harm or suicide where even the closest friends didn't see it coming until it was too late... I know empathy and just plain old caring are huge factors here—people tend to look the other way or downplay red flags because, let's face it, it's not their business—but I can't say it's always like that.
My thought is—hear me out—what if we doubled or even tripled the amount of psychology classes in our public schools? In a perfect world, every student would learn how to spot the warning signs of depression, violent tendencies, narcissism, or manipulation... plus, they'd actually learn how to react, how to deal with it, and more importantly, how to help themselves and others.
Another big change that I think we desperately need is making a chat with a psychologist or psychiatrist part of the standard annual physical checkup. Sadly, so many mental health issues go completely unnoticed until things reach a breaking point. People are still so heavily stigmatized and just plain uninformed about mental health, which honestly just makes everything so much harder for the person struggling.
I realize this would cost a ton of money and time, obviously, but in my opinion, it would pay for itself in the long run. I'm curious to hear what you guys think... and if this topic has already been covered, mods, please feel free to merge this.

I believe everything starts with the family and upbringing. That is where the emphasis should be placed.
Social services need to do their jobs in the field rather than just on paper.

A psychologist can point out a problem, but it is difficult to fix someone who lacks fundamental life values.
A psychologist is not a magician, but through cooperation with the rest of the government apparatus, much can be achieved.

Healthy family and social relationships are the cure for depression and anxiety.
Work should be done there.

neongull93 said:For me personally, I’m pretty much hooked on my computer and phone—and then, well, the porn follows after that.
Maybe I am just lazy, honestly, I can't rule that out—but man, it feels like breaking habits that have been baked into your life for over a decade without any real support is incredibly tough.

It’s kind of like how you rarely see someone struggling with a serious addiction suddenly decide to walk into a rehab center on their own terms and fix everything overnight.

Anyway, that’s just my two cents, though I’m sure there are plenty of other weird paradoxes at play here.

So this topic is about habits that cross the line into addiction.

You can change a habit if you do something consistently for at least three or four weeks.
I have tested this on myself.

It is brutally hard if you are already stuck in an addiction. But if you can endure one month... believe me, your entire world shifts.

Persistence is everything. Everything else is just an excuse.

David Evans6 said:I have a question:

Is it a thing where you guys buy group birthday gifts at work? Like, everyone chips in to get one big present?

That’s how it works at my company. And look, I don't have an issue with the concept itself.
BUT... there are about seven of us in the office. It's fine if we all chip in for a little something for each other and split the cost.
The problem is management is pushing this idea—and I can tell my coworkers aren't complaining, so they probably agree—that we should be buying gifts for everyone in the entire operation. That means all our drivers and the warehouse staff too. Of course, it's totally one-sided. The bosses don't even acknowledge our birthdays, let alone buy us anything. Not that I care much since we aren't exactly close, and they don't even know when our birthdays are. No one is forcing them to do anything, yet somehow, it's our job to track everyone's birthdays and make sure the drivers and warehouse crew get gifts.

It feels stupid and unfair. Why am I expected to keep track of their birthdays when it isn't reciprocated?

Am I losing my mind here, or is this actually messed up?

If I actually speak up, I'll just end up being the only one complaining.

The situation your boss is imposing is unfair.

First, it puts people in a difficult position who might not want to celebrate birthdays at work. That happens.
Furthermore, it is nice to wish a colleague a happy birthday if you feel like it. But if you aren't close with your coworkers, forcing people to hand over money just to follow a formality is foolish.

Edit: The boss clearly participates in the office gifting, so he wants to appear equal to all employees, including those in the warehouse.

Singing and dancing 🎉

I have a soft spot for it when someone gives me a sweet nickname and uses it consistently.😁

I tend to hold a special kind of respect for genuinely kind people who make communication feel effortless.
The ones you can settle plans with in five minutes without any unnecessary drama or playing the victim. Those types are rare these days. That is why they stick with you.

ironrider11 said:So, "crooked" (meaning "..with understanding or at least, attention..") instead of "upside-down"?
For some occultist? 🤔

What? 🤔

"He carves crooked crosses with a knife and upside-down crosses alike."

Sarah Nguyen96 said:Sure, the description gives off that vibe, but it isn't true. I think he’s just been deeply depressed and passive since birth. He likely expects everyone to push him through life, treating him like royalty and bowing down to him. Since reality doesn't work that way, it probably keeps him in a depressive state. That's also why he’s likely jealous of others. He sees people fighting for themselves and doing okay, while he's still at rock bottom. The only thing he’s ever bought with his own money is the bed he sleeps on, and even that was just a few months ago. Everything else he has either received or stolen. Honestly, he should end up on the streets so he finally starts taking care of himself. Instead of looking at others and making their lives miserable out of jealousy, he needs to look inward. I mentioned this to his parents, but they won't listen to me.
I don't think he's in a cult. If he were, everyone would know by now because he can't keep a secret to save his life. He always has to tell someone everything.

He mentioned his own "truth." He steals, he is cunning, he acts maliciously on purpose, draws upside-down crosses, threatens murder, and screams at anyone who looks at him. Who knows how he would react to a shot of tequila. This isn't a matter for the police; it is a matter for a psychiatrist or a priest.

The part about stealing and being devious suggests an addiction. Where does that money go? It clearly goes toward alcohol or some other substance.

He is quite active when it comes to seeking attention. He is far from passive.
The question remains: why aren't his parents fixing this?

The man described doesn't need pity. He needs concrete help, or as someone else wrote, a good beating (if we are talking about a spoiled brat).

I assume his parents are passively participating in this circus—taking the path of least resistance. They might even turn against him if someone actually held him accountable.
If his parents aren't seeking help, I don't see how you, as a cousin, can solve this problem.

We don't have the full story. But if he has always been this way, it is possible his parents made him this way. Or perhaps he was bullied, but that is no excuse for the evil he is committing.

Based on the description, I suspect this individual is either deeply obsessed or under the influence of some substance. It is possible they have joined a cult without anyone noticing. You should probably seek advice from an exorcist.