briskbison47 said:There’s a massive difference between showering a partner with affection and suffocating them because you're terrified they might leave. Those are two completely different animals. If you end up losing that person, it won't be because of a lack of love; it'll be because of everything else that has nothing to do with love.
What chronically insecure people refuse to admit is that they’re essentially just using a relationship to soothe their own needs and quiet their own anxieties, often without giving a damn about anyone else's experience.
I hear you, I really do, but I’m honestly worried that there isn't much hope without actual psychotherapy. I just hope they have a solid support system around them. Let's be brutally honest here: this isn't just about being abandoned by a mother; there's a whole lot more baggage to unpack than that.
That's true. There is likely a lot to work through, and it would probably be a long process. But maybe just admitting that things aren't okay is already a step forward.
I am not quite sure where to start. I just know that my mother left when I was fourteen, and I suppose that is where everything began to unravel. I realized pretty early on that the issue was with me; I became too attached to people because I was terrified of being alone. Maybe because I wanted to be loved so badly, I made a lot of wrong choices. My romantic life hasn't been much better. I get the feeling my exes eventually felt smothered by me and started pulling away.
I managed to keep things under control until my daughter hit her teenage years. She doesn't really find me interesting anymore, which I guess is perfectly logical since she found her own group of friends. I have to admit, I probably should have focused more on myself instead of assuming I would always just be a mother to a little girl who needed me.
I am in a serious relationship now, but it seems that after a while, I start smothering my partner out of intense love and a fear of losing them. What should I do? How can I keep this under control? If I keep going like this, I might end up alone.
Laura Castillo6 said:That’s pretty textbook for that kind of disorder once someone just hits their breaking point. Tell her husband to start mixing some flaxseeds into her food every day.
Psychiatrists aren't always the most proactive when it comes to mental health patients. You’d think they were immune to everything, but clearly, that's not the case...
Anyway, she really has to fight her own battles. These days, doctors act more like bus drivers: they’re just waiting for that end-of-the-month paycheck to roll in, and that’s about it. The whole of society feels so narrow-minded and obsessed with money that everything else seems to have lost its purpose.
That’s why I mentioned it feels like everyone wants to wash their hands of her since there's no progress, yet being home without supervision is a disaster. I deal with panic attacks myself, and when she was home, she used to call me wanting to end it all; after those calls, I'd feel so terrible that I'd be stuck taking Xanax all day dealing with my own episodes...
Laura Castillo6 said:It’ll level out eventually; things just take time to stabilize. She’s going through menopause right now, which means her estrogen levels are dropping. If you look at the dopamine hypothesis regarding behavioral and perception disorders, there’s a direct link between estrogen and how dopamine functions. When estrogen dips, dopamine can spike, and that’s often what triggers a psychotic episode.
Plus, if she’s been dealing with high stress and a lack of sleep on top of all that, it’s honestly no wonder she’s having these episodes. Statistically speaking, women tend to respond much better to antipsychotics, so I’m hopeful she’ll pull through. That said, she really needs to see a specialist—if the current meds aren't cutting it, they'll need to adjust the prescription or try something else. I also wonder if lifestyle stuff like diet and regular exercise might help bridge the gap?
She’s currently at a psychiatric facility in San Francisco, but I get the feeling the doctors aren't particularly eager to focus on her case. Her husband is going to speak with the doctor today about potentially adjusting her medication, since she is incredibly hyperactive and can't sit still for a moment. Thank you for these helpful suggestions. She seems very checked out and isn't really looking after herself; she just wants coffee, cigarettes, and TV.
David Vaughn75 said:Honestly, sounds like schizoaffective disorder to me.
So, what’s the doctor saying about it?
We don't live in the same city, but I stay updated on her situation. They started her on the medication I mentioned in my previous posts, though they say we just have to wait for it to kick in. Unfortunately, her husband is being quite stubborn about all this; he’s from a small rural town and is very hesitant to ask too many questions. I am worried things might get worse for her.
Laura Castillo6 said:It’s strange that she’s been acting out for the last decade even though she stays on top of all her doctor appointments. If everything checks out medically, then we have to look at the bigger picture—it sounds like she might be dealing with some unfair judgment or social stigma from those around her. Could you tell me more about what this "strange behavior" actually looks like?
For instance, does she jump wildly from one topic to another or start making these bizarre drawings? Is she struggling with things like paranoia or delusions that just don't align with reality—you know, like thinking people are following her? Also, how is she holding up with work and just managing her day-to-day life in general?
She claims she’s pregnant and that her husband beats her every day, or that he’s raping her, or that he wants to kill her. She jumps between topics every minute. She doesn't draw anything... and she doesn't want to cook or take care of her hygiene anymore. She just smokes and watches TV all day.
Laura Castillo6 said:So, she’s managed to stay in remission for 22 years and now all this behavior is resurfacing? That’s tough. Why do you think there’s no hope left? How old is she now? Personally, I think they should definitely get a referral for an EEG just to rule things out, and they really ought to get a second opinion from a neuropsychiatrist.
She is 48. It isn't that she just started acting this way; she was actually doing quite well for the last 10 years. Once she hit menopause, things seemed to unravel. I don't think all hope is lost, but I suppose my family is slowly distancing themselves from her, even though she probably needs our help more than ever right now.
Unfortunately, I don't live near her, but I make sure to call her husband every single day. I actually suggested to him that maybe they should look into adjusting her treatment plan, since she just doesn't seem settled anymore; she used to be much more calm. I visited her once, but ever since then, I guess I've been dealing with panic attacks almost every day.
Larry Lewis said:What do you mean by "not safe to be among people"?
And when you say she's "making things up," what does that look like in practice? Are we talking about delusions, like she thinks someone is out to get her or something along those lines?
My family has this theory that she isn't meant to be around others. They think she invents things, like claiming her husband assaulted her or that she's four months pregnant. Just stuff like that, I suppose.
Larry Lewis said:Do you think it's even worth trying to talk to her right now?
What kind of medication is she on, and how long has she been taking it?
When you say people are giving up on her, what does that actually look like?
It is difficult to talk to her right now. She keeps making things up, her eyes are darting everywhere, and she won't stop shaking. My family mentioned placing her in a care facility because she shouldn't be around people alone. I feel completely helpless. Her medication includes unknown, Cerson, Normabel, and unknown, though I am not sure of the dosages since I only managed to jot down the names when my grandfather called me.
I'm not quite sure where to begin. My aunt was diagnosed with schizophrenia 22 years ago, and until about 2004, she was seeing her psychiatrist at least twice a year without issue. She got married in 2005 and everything seemed fine, at least until menopause hit. It has completely devastated her; in just the last two months, she’s already been hospitalized twice. She’s become hyperactive and even aggressive—she actually struck her husband a few times. It feels like a total downward spiral in such a short window. I guess I'm wondering if there is any hope left for her, because it seems like everyone is starting to give up on her.