Posts by Nicole Barrett76

Jose Ward4 said:Look, what I’m trying to tell you all is this: NOBODY has it. Absolutely nobody. It all boils down to our parents and whether or not there's some money involved. Just to give you some context, I ended up in the hospital back on August 1st, 2017, because I started hearing voices. How do I even explain that? It hit me in a 48-hour window—just suddenly, like someone was standing right there next to me, talking away. Honestly. Now, here I am, cooking dinner while fighting off those voices. And I wonder, where did it come from? A few weeks before I was admitted, things got too heavy to handle, so I started taking lavender on my own—not the medical kind, mind you—mixing it in two or three times a week. Back in the day, people used lavender to ward off the plague, just so you know. I was combining it with my meds. Basically, I was taking my prescriptions along with the lavender, and the sensation... it's like you aren't alone anymore. You feel incredibly peaceful, zero anxiety, just this strange sense of security. Okay, enough about that. Anyway, I was stuck in the hospital for a month. For the first 20 days, they had me on benzodiazepines—you know, those pills with the number 5 on them—and I was actually functioning perfectly fine for those 20 days. I was talking, walking around, no incidents at all, even on the benzos. Then, during the last 10 days, the psych ward switched me over to Haldol. Now that I don't have my folks around anymore, it honestly isn't even hard to walk away from my old life. I find myself thinking about leaving the pills behind more and more. Sometimes I get these visions of my dad or my mom—real visions. Like a commune or something. Bob. That's just my take on it: everything is tied to the choices we make when we're with our parents and when we aren't. Even while they're still alive, it's about having enough money—not a fortune, obviously, but enough to eat and dress. That’s just how I see it. It all comes down to fear.

If you truly believe this, then you've lost your grip. Therefore, I believe you require more intensive treatment, such as seeing a psychiatrist twice a week or attending a day clinic.

Harold Anderson3 said:I’ve been wrestling with depression for over a decade now, though looking back, I clearly haven't been tackling it the right way.
Maybe there isn't actually a "right" way to do it, because I'm starting to fear that this depression has woven itself so deeply into my psyche that it's become part of my very character.
On top of that, I've been carrying a schizophrenia diagnosis for the last eight years.
I just don't have the energy left for psychotherapy; at this point, medication is really my only lifeline, but I've actually been without my antidepressants for more than three weeks now.
My sleep schedule is a total wreck—I'll lie awake staring at the ceiling until sunrise, only to crash and sleep through the entire day when I should be getting my most important things done, including making it to my psychiatrist appointment.
Have any of you ever hit that wall where even the simplest tasks feel impossible, like just remembering to eat, keeping up with basic hygiene, or actually showing up for a doctor's visit?
Keeping up with my college coursework feels even more overwhelming, though thankfully I have enough savings right now that I don't have to worry about finding a job.
The loneliness is also absolutely crushing me.
I’m honestly wondering if I should look into being hospitalized. My experience at the local state psychiatric facility was a complete disaster; I ended up going there seven different times.
I find myself asking how much longer I can keep doing this. 🙂I just don't see a way out.

Why on earth would you call it a disaster?

Sure, being stuck in any hospital ward is never a pleasant experience, but is there some other specific reason why you feel things are so catastrophic over there?

Lisa Chase68 said:I'm with you on that.

Btw, people over in California are saying today that they'll be independent in just 48 hours—assuming they pull in the majority vote this Sunday.

Man, they’ve got everything lined up to make sure those 48 hours 😬
count.

Their optimism reminds me of this verse from the American Civil War:

""Prepare the bed, mother,
for I shall return soon enough;
before the dawn even breaks,
our independent America will rise"".

We all remember how "quick and easy" that turned out to be.

Please accept my apologies.

The issue wasn't actually with the forum itself, but rather an error within my email provider's spam filter. I am relieved to report that notifications regarding new replies are now arriving with much greater regularity.

Greetings

Is it possible that I am experiencing some sort of technical malfunction, or could the issue perhaps lie within the internal mechanics of this forum itself? Quite recently, I have found myself in the unfortunate position of receiving absolutely no notifications whatsoever regarding new replies to the discussion threads in which I participate.

I assure you that I have made no unauthorized adjustments to my profile settings, such as deleting data or altering the email address designated for these alerts. My notifications are currently directed to Nicole Barrett76@gmail.com. Furthermore, I maintain a secondary account with Yahoo, which remains perfectly functional, as evidenced by the fact that I continue to receive timely updates from other online forums using that specific address without any interruption.

Might anyone else be encountering this exact same predicament with this website?

Matthew Castillo5 said:Are you just talking smack about sports for the hell of it, or are you actually trying to force a psychiatric diagnosis out of me? 🤔

Look, if you go to a psychiatrist and try your absolute hardest to convince them that you’re losing your mind—laying out all the evidence, the symptoms, the whole nine yards—and they still don't buy it? Then you probably aren't actually mentally ill. It sounds cynical, I know, but think about it. If your reality is so skewed that you're desperately trying to prove your own instability to a professional, and they look at you and see someone perfectly sane, you’ve likely just hit a wall of self-perception rather than a clinical diagnosis. It's one of those weird, blunt truths you only stumble upon when you're staring down the barrel of your own psyche.

Neither, actually. I am asking purely out of intellectual curiosity. Have I not recently recalled the theory that a potential biomarker for schizophrenia could be a specific compound, perhaps akin to LSD-25, which schizophrenic brains might spontaneously produce? However, if my memory serves me correctly, LSD-25 breaks down so rapidly that detecting it through standard American blood tests would be an immense challenge.

Furthermore, individuals with schizophrenia may exhibit frequent blinking, and their brains often possess fewer ventricles compared to those of healthy people.

Yet, these are merely fragments of a much larger puzzle; after all, can one not manifest the symptoms of schizophrenia without possessing every single one of these biological markers?

Matthew Castillo5 said:That link wouldn't load for me, but from what I've seen in the American healthcare system, nobody is actually running biomarker tests for mental illnesses. It’s mostly diagnosed based on a psychiatrist's subjective clinical judgment. Some doctors are incredibly sharp at spotting the nuances, but unfortunately, there are plenty of others who just miss the mark.

Is it even possible to have biomarkers for mental health conditions tested privately somewhere in the US?

What if an individual feels they aren't suffering from a full-blown psychotic disorder, yet their condition is severe enough to be reflected in biological markers? Or, what if an unidentified physiological issue is actually the underlying cause of their psychological distress—an issue that could only be detected through specific, specialized biomarkers?

And yet, what happens when a psychiatrist fails to diagnose any significant mental illness at all?

goldenraven3 said:What do you guys think the chances are that someone gets misdiagnosed with schizophrenia when they actually have some other underlying disorder?

If someone receives a diagnosis of schizophrenia only after multiple visits to a psychiatrist, I believe the likelihood of an error is relatively slim.

Then again, the soul is such an abstract concept, isn't it? It isn't like a physical ailment where you can point to a specific millimeter on your body and say exactly where it hurts and why, only to have it confirmed by an ultrasound or an X-ray.

However, if the diagnosis is made quite early—say, after only three or four appointments where the patient remains fully conscious and oriented—then I suspect the possibility of a psychiatrist making a mistake is significantly higher than in the previous scenario.

But please, do seek out someone with more experience than I am.

Nicole Barrett76 said:How fascinating! Isn't it interesting that within the French psychiatric school, they have long considered paranoia to be a distinct condition entirely, provided it manifests without other psychotic symptoms like auditory hallucinations?

Perhaps there is some truth to their approach, yet I find myself wondering: should we truly separate disorganized or catatonic schizophrenia from the core concept of the disorder itself?

Oh, actually, what I intended to say was that I would not separate paranoid schizophrenia from the overarching entity of schizophrenia.

Richard White8 said:I’ve been reading that the American DSM no longer distinguishes between different subtypes of schizophrenia. They’ve moved away from diagnosing specific variations like paranoid, disorganized, or catatonic schizophrenia, opting instead for a single diagnosis of schizophrenia.

How fascinating! Isn't it interesting that within the French psychiatric school, they have long considered paranoia to be a distinct condition entirely, provided it manifests without other psychotic symptoms like auditory hallucinations?

Perhaps there is some truth to their approach, yet I find myself wondering: should we truly separate disorganized or catatonic schizophrenia from the core concept of the disorder itself?

Jason Kim6 said:A terrible tragedy occurred. Amon took his own life—he jumped from the sixth floor. I'm deeply saddened; he was a good friend to me.

R. I. P.

Was he posting on this thread for any period of time?

Brenda Johnson68 said:I am not sure which department you visited at the Mayo Clinic, but I have heard that the Miroševac facility is also excellent.

(Just to clarify, I am male). I was under the care of Dr. Vrkljan for a period of time.

The core issue, however, is that since then, I have been shuffled between numerous physicians. This was never by my own choice; in fact, during my stays at the Mayo Clinic over the last few years, I seemed to encounter a different doctor every single time. Because I suffer from a rare condition, they actually asked if I would permit them to take clinical photographs—presumably for some doctoral thesis or perhaps even a future medical encyclopedia. Naturally, they ensure privacy by placing a strip over the eyes, and the images are rendered in black and white. I consented to their request. It was Dr. Šulentić who made the appeal; she has been practicing in London for some time now, and she truly was an exceptional physician. Yet, despite her skill, I cannot shake this lingering sensation of having been exploited, as if I were merely a test subject in a laboratory. This feeling persists regardless of the fact that I was hospitalized twice (once in 2009 and again in 2015).

The sole grievance I have with Dr. Škorić thus far is his refusal to prescribe T3 hormone tablets. How many doctors would actually possess the courage to manage such a prescription? Fortunately, I have heard that one can procure these tablets in Turkey or Greece. So, if anyone is inclined toward such risks, the choice is theirs.

John Garcia2 said:Hi everyone,
I apologize for jumping in here out of nowhere like this, but there's something on my mind and I figured someone in this community might be able to shed some light on it.

What I'm wondering is: if someone has been living with schizophrenia for over 10 years (I'm not entirely sure about the specific diagnosis or type), and they stop taking their medication for about three months and start acting out or doing things they wouldn't normally do, do they actually remember those actions? For instance, if they restart their meds and everything settles down, but then three months later they stop again and go back to that behavior, will they remember what they did the last time, or is it just a completely different set of episodes every time?

I'll try to use a hypothetical scenario to make my question a bit clearer.

Let's say a person takes their medication consistently and stays stable. Then, they slowly taper off, and after about three months without it, there's a massive shift in their behavior—they almost seem like a totally different person (whether intentionally or not) and, say, get into a physical altercation with someone. They end up in the hospital, get back on their meds, and stabilize again. But then, three months later, the behavior shifts once more and they basically "lose it" again. In that situation, would that person act out of spite, or would they remember exactly what happened during their previous episode?
Or is it something that varies from person to person, perhaps depending on the specific subtype of the illness?

Thanks to everyone for your help. 🙂

Whether they retain those memories depends entirely on the severity and intensity of the mental health crisis. Just as one might experience physical illness—ranging from a minor cold to a severe injury—mental health conditions also exist on a broad spectrum of intensity.

Consider how a person might first lose their sense of time or focus when their cognitive functions begin to slip. As the disruption of consciousness deepens, they may lose their sense of orientation in space. Only at the most profound levels of consciousness impairment does a person lose their very sense of self. It can reach a point where they are so detached that they cannot even respond to their own name.

It is possible for a person to remember their actions during a period of deep psychosis, yet recovering those specific memories often requires significant time and clinical stabilization. In many cases, individuals have no recollection whatsoever of what they did while their consciousness was profoundly altered.

Ultimately, these experiences vary immensely, not just between different individuals, but even within the same person from one episode to the next.

Angela Stewart6 said:@Rebecca Rivera3, I’m not really taking sides here—I’m certainly no doctor, so I wouldn't dream of making any definitive claims! From my own personal experience, though, medication has definitely been a huge help for me, but of course, it’s never just about the pills alone. 🙂

@Nicole Barrett76, those options you mentioned are a bit pricey for my current budget—though I truly do believe they're worth the investment, so I’ll have to weigh my options carefully. Perhaps I can find a way to mix some more affordable supplements with the ones you suggested! I plan on heading down to the pharmacy to get some professional advice soon. On a related note, iron supplements used to be my absolute lifesaver, but my doctor stopped prescribing them since my last blood work came back looking perfectly normal—though, given that I don't really eat much red meat to get that specific B vitamin, my levels might be fluctuating more than I realize. I occasionally struggle with looking quite pale and dealing with dark circles under my eyes. Honestly, we haven't been able to pin down the cause of the dark circles at all, even after several different tests! Does anyone happen to have any insight into what that could be? I did notice a cream at the drugstore that claims to fix that exact issue 🙏, but it costs about $30. I'd love to find a solution so I don't have to rely on layers of concealer every single day...

There is a massive selection of cheap B-complexes out there with barely any actual vitamin content. For instance, a basic NW Ultra B100 supplement with minimal doses comes in a hundred-count bottle for less than ten dollars.

But what is the point if you end up having to swallow sixty different pills just to get the same amount of B vitamins found in a single tablet where every vitamin is dosed at 100 milligrams—with B7, B9, and B12 measured in micrograms—all while still far exceeding the bare minimum daily requirements?

Those "minimum recommended daily allowances" were actually established back during World War I simply as a baseline to ensure soldiers on the front lines received enough nutrients to function and avoid diseases like pellagra or beriberi. It is quite staggering how Big Pharma clings to those outdated standards like a lifeline.

Personally, I didn't feel any real difference until I finally knocked back two 100mg B-complex tablets.

Angela Stewart6 said:@Nicole Barrett76, honestly, that’s exactly what I need right now—I've been leaning quite heavily toward anemia lately because my diet is pretty light on meat. Well, mostly light! I was taking them for a while and definitely felt a boost, but I’ll admit I got a little lazy about actually going out to restock. Anyway, since I’ve noticed such a massive difference when I take them, do you have any specific recommendations on which ones would be the absolute best?

@Rebecca Rivera3, personally, I don't really struggle with that emotional numbness, so I don't have much to add there—but it really seems to me like you have a very positive outlook regarding your treatment and how you're embracing it. It’s not that I’m downplaying depression compared to schizophrenia, of course, but depression is something you can navigate through and eventually find your way back to your old self from.

The KAL B100 is an option, though I am unsure if it's easily available in the US anymore. It has a mint flavor, which helps mask that distinct B-vitamin smell. A 60-count bottle once cost me about $43. They are likely a little more expensive now.

A slightly pricier alternative, though I doubt they are widely stocked in the US either, is the NW Ultra B100, or something similar. The main difference is they lack the mint flavor and come in 30-count bottles, which cost me $25 back when I used them. When you do the math, they end up being a bit more expensive than the KAL brand.

As far as I can tell on iHerb, neither of them is currently listed, so perhaps it would be wiser to look for a third option that provides these vitamins in capsule form. I have tried both KAL and NW, and I must say, I only truly felt a surge of energy once I started taking 2x100 tablets a day.

Angela Stewart6 said:Hello everyone! I truly hope you’re all doing wonderful—or, if things are a bit rough, that they're at least heading in a better direction. Rebecca Rivera3, please do try to stay consistent with your medication schedule!
It seems to be regulating my system quite well—everything feels much more balanced! I have noticed a bit of a hand tremor lately, which has caused me a tiny bit of concern, but I’m staying positive and truly believe it's just a temporary side effect that will settle down soon. Cheers!

Have you considered increasing your intake of B-complex vitamins? Even if it doesn't provide the relief you're hoping for, it certainly won't do any harm to try. There is actually historical precedent for this approach, as psychiatrists in Saskatchewan and researchers at the Linus Pauling Institute have previously utilized high doses of B-complex vitamins when treating mental health conditions, particularly schizophrenia.

Brenda Johnson68 said:So, which hospital offers excellent comprehensive endocrinology services, and which specialist would you recommend?

Thank you all so much in advance for your responses!

From the bottom of my heart, I truly recommend seeing Tanja Škorić at the Mayo Clinic. Both my sister and I have decided to go to her starting this year. Although I have only had a single appointment with her, she genuinely possesses both the time and the sincere will to care for every individual patient. She reviewed my entire medical history with such incredible depth and meticulous attention to detail.

I spent many, many years seeking treatment at Vinogradski, but once I realized they swap doctors on patients every single time someone shows up for an exam, I thought—I must go find better luck elsewhere. Isn't it simply terrible when you visit once or twice a year and are met by a completely different physician every single time?

Dr. Tanja Škorić specialized in endocrinology in Manchester before returning to America. That really impressed me, and I made sure to tell her so right away. I believe she appreciated my praise in return, as most people only ever know how to complain, whine, and criticize rather than offer a kind word of thanks.

All doctors—and in your specific case, all endocrinologists—are capable of performing essentially the same tasks. The real question is simply: how much heart does each individual doctor truly put into their specific patients?

I cannot quite put my finger on why, but I found myself reminiscing about an encounter I once had with a man living with schizophrenia.

A long time ago, back when my understanding of schizophrenia was still quite limited, I actually attempted to intervene and help a patient dial back his extreme religious fanaticism. He was, quite frankly, an ultra-devout believer.

He would engage in acts of self-harm—I suspect he was experiencing command hallucinations—and at the time, he actually had several fingers wrapped in bandages because he had cut himself.

Beyond his intense religious fervor, he also had a tendency to surround himself with young women.

Around that period, there was a news report circulating regarding the failing health of Pope John Paul II. Because my vision is quite poor, I failed to notice that a few young girls were standing nearby. Assuming we were speaking privately, I remarked in a perfectly casual tone that the Pope was losing God's grace.

Immediately, he began to argue with me, and a young girl who frequently accompanied him approached us, rebuking me loudly for suggesting such things about the Pope. Sensing imminent danger, I tried to assess whether his volatility posed a threat to her as well and how we might best distance ourselves from him. Just then, a third person who knew me called out my name; she told me I was needed elsewhere, so I followed her away.

That individual later advised me that I should never provoke a conversation on such sensitive topics with him, given his condition. Even though I was aware of his diagnosis, I truly believed I was doing something helpful by trying to nudge him toward a more rational perspective. It was only much later, after we had walked a significant distance, that I suddenly remembered that young girl and asked what had become of her. The woman glanced back quickly and simply said the children had gone off to play, leaving him alone for a moment before he continued on his way.

gentlecyclist16 said:In that scenario, wouldn't performing a factory reset be a far simpler path than attempting to root the device? However, you must remember that doing so will wipe everything currently stored on your tablet—so please, ensure you transfer your photos and any other precious files to an external drive first.
Generally speaking, rooting your device will void your warranty, whereas a simple reset will not.

Even if I perform a factory reset, I still won't be able to install any kind of AdBlock.

gentlecyclist16 said:In that scenario, wouldn't it be far more straightforward to just perform a factory reset rather than attempting to root the device? However, you must keep in mind that doing so will wipe everything "yours" off the tablet—so please, ensure you transfer your photos and anything else you hold dear onto an external drive first.
In most instances, rooting will void your warranty, whereas a simple reset will not.

I am already quite well aware of how the warranty situation works.