Posts by goldenheron6

Adam Gray said:Forgive me if I’m posting this in the wrong sub. I just found out an old friend attempted suicide by taking 60 blood pressure pills. Now I’m left wondering—could she actually have died from that many? I’ve never heard of anything like this happening before. What do you all think? And how on earth am I supposed to act when I go to visit her at the hospital? I really, truly hope she pulls through.

You're a good friend, seriously.😉

My folks tied the knot back in a little town in California, and they've been stuck together for 40 years now.

Gerald Hill said:The fact that people used to pass away early from illnesses or injuries that are easily treated today does not imply that we are going to live for 500 years. We have no reason to believe we will reach a 500-year lifespan today; we truly do not. To believe we will live for 500 years? Well, I am not such an optimist as to believe in a 500-year life right now. Ultimately, it is irrelevant, because when we die, everything vanishes for us anyway, as if we had never even lived. Life is, among other things, a bit of a deception; it doesn't matter how long you live.

There's some truth to what he's saying.

So, what do you guys think about the whole idea of living to 500? Like, would life actually be better if we had that kind of time? We’d finally have a real shot at fixing our mistakes and actually making progress in whatever field we choose.
We’d probably be way smarter too, just from having all that extra experience under our belts.

They usually just happen because of stress, honestly.

What's the point of even making that incision...

Carol Sullivan said:I stopped trusting people a long time ago. Now, it’s strictly my immediate family or nobody at all.
It isn't just about doubting what people say. I find myself constantly reading between the lines, dissecting their actions and reactions. No matter how crazy it sounds, I always end up spotting the cracks...
Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for perfection. I know nobody is perfect—I certainly am not.
But I look for basic decency. A shred of genuine goodness. And yet, I always end up disappointed by the sheer amount of greed and envy that slips through in even the smallest comments or gestures.
People probably think I’m some kind of perfectionist or a nitpicker. Maybe. But honestly, I’m just exhausted by everyone trying so hard to curate this flawless image of themselves. My contact list has dwindled down to just a few names because I simply don't have the energy to hunt for the best in people anymore... especially when I'd rather be alone than settle for fake connections just to avoid loneliness.
I used to be very social. I have my flaws, sure... but if I make a promise, I keep it. That seems to be a rare commodity these days. When I give an opinion, I’m brutally honest. I say what I mean. I think that's why my circle is so small—very few people actually want to hear the truth, and even fewer truly care about others... at least not in the way I do.

How do you view people? Do you trust too easily? If so, why? If not, why not?

You're thinking clearly. 👍
You can't trust anyone these days.

Aside from your parents, there's no such thing as unconditional love. 👍
Everyone else is just looking for an angle. 🍿

A lot of them are wasting their lives at universities, but honestly, you're better off actually making some money
instead of just hitting the books 😁

Can things get a little stressful?

I actually ended up loving my job.

But hey, thanks for all the advice anyway.

I’m done working for that secret, thank God, but if I had stayed
it would’ve been pure abuse.
I can't tell if she actually doesn't realize how incredibly awkward she acts
toward everyone else—like, is she playing dumb?
Or does she just straight-up love acting like a drill sergeant and treating people like her personal maids?

I'm all for de-escalating things when a conflict pops up. It’s just smarter.
Besides, that secretary isn't even my boss—she's just some regular employee,
but they stuck me over at her desk to train.

frozenmaker74 said:Her IQ isn't even the point here, and frankly, it's irrelevant. This is pure selfishness. People these days are incredibly self-centered; they don't give a damn about anyone else or how their actions land. Besides, I don't think you can just flip a switch from being a saint to a total nightmare overnight, so maybe try finding some middle ground without losing who you are.

The thing is, we’re both swinging between extremes. But I'm sure that’s not a coincidence—like, "oh, I'm the victim and she's the bully,"
as if people don't specifically pick out targets to mess with.

frozenmaker74 said:Maybe that's true, maybe it isn't. At least she doesn't hide her frustrations, while you guys act all holier-than-thou and then talk trash behind her back. You aren't any better than her if you're out there gossiping.

She talks trash too, plenty of it. If you heard half the nasty stuff she says about people, you'd probably pass out.😁

frozenmaker74 said:Look, since I doubt you'll actually listen to me (some people just love living in the extremes), it’s enough to just put yourself in her shoes. Imagine what would stop *you* in a situation like that. I highly doubt you haven't "lost it" once or twice in your life or had a moment where you finally snapped and calmed down.

One time, a relative got pissed at me and I told her exactly what I thought to her face. Since then,
things have been awkward and she's basically cut me off completely.
Maybe I'm just too soft because I forgive things too easily, whereas she's the type to hold a grudge forever.
And honestly, my word hasn't always been the final say. I think the issue is that I don't know how to
stand my ground; I end up just going along with whatever someone else says.
It drives me crazy. But even if I do speak my mind, what have I got to lose?
If someone doesn't respect me and gets mad over nothing, why should I bother respecting them?

Let me tell you another story. A couple of friends and I went out for coffee and were taking pictures together.
Later, I posted them on Facebook, but realized there were too many, so I left
just one group shot of the three of us.
Then she has the nerve to snap at me, saying, "You should have asked us before deleting photos." Can you believe that?
On *my* Facebook profile, I'm supposed to ask permission to manage my own damn photos?
That's number one.
Number two, they didn't even reach out to me again. 🙂 Not to mention she chewed me out
over the phone just because of those pictures.

frozenmaker74 said:I started this by talking about her selfishness, but let me ask you: do you actually feel empathy regarding the part in bold, or are you just looking at how this affects you? Once you answer that, everything will be clear. Hope that helps.

I’m just not feeling any empathy here. 😁
She treated me like garbage, so why should I care?
Now you're trying to tell me that *I'm* the selfish one.
Look, I don't wish her any ill will or anything, but I want her far away from me.
I think that’s my whole deal—whenever things get messy or a conflict starts,
I just hit the delete button on that person and move on. :-))

frozenmaker74 said:Imagine you're dealing with someone like this hothead. You send them to the store, they head out, and they don't say a word—no complaining, no nothing. Would you actually think of yourself that way, or would you just be floored that someone could view you like that without ever having the guts to tell you to your face?

Does she really seem that dim? Like, come on. It’s pretty obvious she's just out here trying to stir the pot and mess with people.

frozenmaker74 said:Why do you think that's the only way to play it? Honestly, I think getting into a blowout fight like that at work is just a total waste of energy. It’s counterproductive as hell, especially when you're dealing with a boss. You've got plenty of ways to handle a mess like that without losing your cool. Honestly, I don't see how just brushing off every single provocation actually leads to a healthy relationship in the long run. If anything, it does the exact opposite.Look, you’re just not that kind of person. Trying to fake it and pretend you're someone else would be a total disaster for you. If someone tries to boss you around and sends you on a grocery run, just tell them you've got stuff to do and can't make it. You're at work, right? You don't exactly have time to be out hitting the shops.

I was just thinking that she clearly knew what she was doing when she started yelling at me, so I figured sometimes you just have to stand your ground and give it right back. But honestly? That’s just not how I roll.
Honestly, I’d say I’m more afraid of sticking my neck out. Especially when she gives you that look—you know the one, that pure evil glare. But man, if I actually had the guts to step up and tell her exactly what's up...
On the other hand, we'd probably just end up...
My heart was pounding like crazy from pure guilt, and honestly, I have no clue why. 🤷

She’d always know the second I stepped out to hit the restroom or grabbed a minute on the patio to hang with someone. Then she’d stomp back in later, totally pissed, just snapping, "Get inside." She was straight-up possessive over me.
So this one coworker tells me straight up that she can't play boss at home with anyone, so she just comes into the office looking for easy targets to boss around instead. Typical.
It’s like she doesn't even talk to anyone at home. She’s constantly at each other's throats with her mother-in-law, and her husband? He’s basically useless. He won't step up even two percent to take her side; he just shuts down and stays out of it.
Stays in her room all day, obsessing over everyone else's business like she’s living through Gloria. 🙄

I can't tell if she’s got some kind of personal vendetta against me, but honestly, the way she’s acting is just straight-up unhinged.

frozenmaker74 said:I haven't really dug through the other comments yet, but honestly, they usually just boil down to everyone blindly backing the author's every move. Look, sometimes those big-picture plans are just too damn hard to pull off. Most of the time, I’ll just bite the bullet and go with something actually realistic instead..

You've got a point there. I think I actually need to start practicing how to stand my ground when someone's trying to walk all over me or talk down to me.

Jesse Mendoza4 said:Just remember she’s been nothing but toxic to you and hasn't earned a single favor from you. Going into town to pick something up for someone is a favor, period. It’s not in your job description, and nobody owes you anything just because you said no to her.

The weirdest part? She has zero shame. Now she’s acting all sweet to me in the hallway like nothing happened.

I seriously don't get why I always run into these bitter types. They can sniff out an easy target from a mile away
and they will exploit you every chance they get.

Back when she was my mentor, she used to get pissed whenever I talked to anyone else,
and during that one freezing winter at the office, she wouldn't even turn on the heater and would make me wash dishes in that
ice-cold water in the breakroom back in November.
Plus, she didn't even teach me the actual job, so when they moved me over to client accounts, she ended up looking like a total amateur.

I didn't know who to go to, until this coworker of mine—who basically has a VIP pass to the boss's office—
noticed something was off. Instead of me, she was the one who reported this nightmare mentor to the manager,
which finally got me moved away from that disaster.
I didn't have the guts to complain myself because I wasn't sure if I could actually
make them listen. 🙂

On top of that, I heard later from some other girls that she was badmouthing me and calling me stupid.
Normally, when she meets new people, she plays nice and buys them food to suck them in, but once they realize
what a piece of work she is, they bail fast.

Thanks for the advice 🙂

Donna White50 said:It’s a total paradox, but if she just realized the world won't end when she says no—that she won't get fired, lose a friend, or drop dead just because things get a little tense—she’d fix a massive chunk of her problems. Conflict is just part of daily life. If she stood up for herself, she'd actually have room for her own needs. She could vent those bad vibes, and her boss would realize she’s a tough nut to crack and move on to find a new target. She’d work with less stress and probably get way more respect at the office.

That sounds like the dream.

Back when I was working for my first mentor, instead of actually teaching me anything, she’d constantly send me out to grab
specific snacks for her, or different drinks, and I had to hit up three or four different stores like Whole Foods or Target
just to find the exact brand and product she wanted. When it was freezing outside in the winter, she wouldn't even
bother turning on the heater in the office. I’d be shivering, and she’d just tell me to "go walk down the hallway."
And honestly, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Basically, what you said is spot on. These people are just frustrated and need a "pushover" to
dump their crap on. And this woman really has issues. I honestly think she might have a personality disorder.
It didn't stop there either; once I moved to a different department, she caught me
walking into my own office and told me
to go buy her something again. It was endless. Of course, being an idiot, I
actually went and did it, instead of just saying, "Sorry, I can't, I've got other stuff to do."
Not to mention, while I was under her, she’d insult me and try to
stop me from hanging out with anyone else at work except her.
I’d be out on the patio with the crew and she’d show up and bark, "Get inside!"
Totally bossy, acting like she owned the place.

Lawrence Bailey77 said:Let’s put that to the test... send me 100 bucks right now...

Here’s another one of my "worst-case" scenarios.
Someone who barely knows me asks for a huge sum of money, and when I respond
with "I can't" or "I don't have it," suddenly I'm the cheapskate.😁

Then there’s this one girl I used to see. Every single time I try to call her up to grab a coffee,
she’s suddenly "too busy." But the second she hits me up? I’m right there. It’s stupid, honestly.
Or if I tell her I can't make it today, she’s all like, "Fine, let's do tomorrow," even though she won't
reach out again for weeks.

And you guys might be right—maybe I am just terrified of confrontation...
But it makes you wonder, what actually happens when you clash with someone? Maybe
I'm more scared of the fallout than the fight itself.🙂

Lawrence Bailey77 said:I've noticed that people trying to change often start acting like total idiots... and then they end up pissed off because if other people's behavior bothers you, it probably means you aren't actually changing, you're just swapping roles with them.

It’s definitely time for a change, but based on what you said, I don't mean my whole damn personality, just
learning how to actually stand up for myself.

Hey there.

So, I’m 26, and I feel like I should have my life together by now—you know, have a solid personality and actually know what I want out of things.
The problem is, I just can't bring myself to say "no" or shut someone down when they're being disrespectful.
It’s especially bad whenever I’m trying to fit into a new crowd, like starting a new job.
I’ve had two jobs so far, and both times I ended up dealing with some total jerk. At the first one, my boss was constantly barking orders and insulting me; at the second, she was straight-up gaslighting me. I still haven't figured out how to stand up for myself and tell them off to their face. Instead, a coworker had to step in and handle it for me, which finally got them to back off. I guess I’m just too soft and sensitive. I’m always worried about offending people, plus I really hate being the center of attention.

I don't deal with that older coworker anymore since I got transferred to a different
department, but get this—just a few days after the move, she shows up at my desk asking me to buy her stuff...
And of course, I couldn't even find the words to say "no" or even "I can't."
I just let people walk all over me and boss me around.

Now I'm wondering why I totally freeze up whenever I need to snap back at someone who's poking at me. My life is actually great—I live with my parents in a beautiful house, and since I'm an only child, I definitely got spoiled a bit. Everything is perfect on the home front.
But back in high school, I dealt with a lot of psychological bullying. Can that kind of stuff mess with you later on?

Man, that just happened out of nowhere and totally spooked me, haha!
It’s definitely not a vibe, but luckily, it doesn't happen to me that often.

Thanks for the tip 🙂