Posts by Michael Hernandez50

I’ve been sitting here for the last hour just staring at my phone, feeling that heavy, sinking sensation in my chest that comes when you read something so fundamentally senseless that it makes the world feel a little less stable. It’s not even about the specifics of the news—I don't even want to get into the "who" or the "where"—it's more about the terrifying erosion of the concept of "home" as a sanctuary.

We grow up with this unwritten social contract, right? We are taught from a young age that while the world out there is chaotic, unpredictable, and often dangerous, the four walls of your own house are supposed to be the one place where the chaos stops. We teach our kids that home is where they are safe, where they are loved, and where they can let their guard down. But lately, it feels like that contract is being torn up left and right. It feels like the most intimate, private circles of human connection are becoming just as volatile as a crowded street corner or a political rally.

I was thinking about this earlier today while watching my neighbor struggle with his groceries. We live in such a hyper-connected era, yet we are simultaneously witnessing this massive spike in domestic volatility. It’s like the pressure cookers of our individual lives—the stress, the mental health struggles, the generational traumas—are finally hitting a boiling point, and instead of venting outward into society, they are imploding within the family unit. When the person who is supposed to be your protector or your support system becomes the source of the threat, the psychological damage is almost impossible to quantify. It doesn't just break a person; it breaks the very foundation of how we understand human relationships.

I find myself wondering if we are seeing a systemic failure in how we handle interpersonal crisis. We talk a lot about "mental health awareness" in a general sense, but I don't think we're actually talking about the granular, messy, ugly reality of how mental instability manifests in the middle of a Tuesday night in a quiet suburb. We talk about it like it's something that happens to "other people" in "other places," but it’s right here. It's in the house next door. It's in the family of someone you might see on the news.

There’s also this weird, modern isolation that I think plays into it. We are more "connected" than ever via our screens, but we are arguably more isolated in our actual physical realities. You can live in a house with people and still be a complete stranger to their internal darkness. We’ve become so good at maintaining a polished, successful exterior—the "everything is fine" facade—that by the time the cracks become visible, it's often too late for intervention. We see people who appear to have it all together, people who are highly respected in their fields or their communities, and we never suspect that there is a storm brewing behind a closed bedroom door.

It makes me wonder about the role of empathy versus judgment. When these things happen, the immediate reaction is usually a mixture of shock and intense condemnation. And while justice is necessary, I can't help but feel a sense of profound sadness for the sheer tragedy of the lost potential. How many times do we miss the warning signs? How many times do we look the other way because we don't want to believe that someone we know—or someone who seems to have a "perfect" life—is capable of such devastation?

I'm struggling to wrap my head around how we rebuild a sense of security when the most fundamental unit of society—the family—feels increasingly fragile. How do we move forward when the "safe spaces" we've built our lives around feel like they're built on sand?

Does anyone else feel like this sense of domestic unpredictability is becoming harder to ignore, or am I just spiraling after a rough afternoon of reading the news? Is the concept of "home as a sanctuary" becoming an outdated ideal?

I couldn't agree more with ajreen; it feels like nobody gives a damn about what I’m going through, and even now at 37 years old, I am constantly battling these agonizing pains and contractions that leave me barely able to stand, yet people just turn their heads away the second they catch sight of my stomach... it's absolutely unbelievable...
And then there's the endless barrage of phone calls where everyone insists on asking me, "So, did you put on weight?"—because I used to be so thin—and now that I’ve gained about 40 pounds, they act completely shocked, as if it's some massive scandal, when in reality, I’m practically nothing but skin and bones...
Not to mention those ridiculous reactions regarding the baby's gender; we have so many friends who have daughters but are desperately wishing for a son, and the moment I mention I'm having a girl, they start making these obnoxious comments about how we're all stuck with girls... it is honestly just appalling...

I am absolutely tormented by these headaches; they hit me every single day, starting from high noon and dragging on all the way until I finally pass out at night... and because I can't bring myself to just pop some pills, I have to sit there and suffer through it... sometimes it gets so bad that I can't even keep my head up over my textbooks before I end up face-planting right onto my desk 🙂

Anthony Watson35 said:Seriously though—has anyone actually dealt with this weight gain thing while maintaining a normal BMI? Because for me, it’s been a total joke. First off, it’s always women 😢 . Second, at least in my experience so far, it's just constant bloating that makes you look more like a bloated balloon than a person (and obviously, no, I'm not pregnant). 🙄

Ugh... I am so incredibly tired of dealing with these kinds of comments myself...
I’ve always been slim—partly thanks to staying active and partly just genetics—and these women who look like they're carrying entire whales always find a way to mock me... especially now. They hit me with things like, "Oh, you're so thin, you clearly aren't eating enough, your baby won't be healthy," or they tell me I look like a little stick (which is honestly so insulting; if I could, I'd snap back and tell them to get lost, maybe mention their heads are shaped like a massive bass drum, but I don't). Then there's the comment that I'll end up looking like a stork with a giant belly... it’s absolutely disgusting, truly, and what makes it even worse is that I eat perfectly normally! In fact, I probably eat twice as much as those women because they are constantly obsessed with dieting. I swear, my husband and I eat almost identical portions for lunch and dinner, and he’s a literal giant...
And yet, they never stop commenting on how my belly is already showing, and then—to top it all off—they actually try to touch me, asking me to lift my shirt... what is wrong with people?! Do you want me to strip down right in the middle of a crowded shopping mall just so you can satisfy your curiosity???

Honestly, I was a sobbing mess last night myself; my husband managed to get under my skin so badly that we ended up in this massive blowout, and then—well, let's just say things made up quite intensely until about 1:00 AM. Now, I’ve woken up with a splitting headache and a stomach that feels like it’s been through a blender... I think I might have just absorbed a little too much stress over the last few days.

I honestly can’t stand seeing it anymore—those pregnant women forced to stand there while everyone else just sits comfortably, scrolling through their phones or chatting away on the subway.... I saw it happen right at the university campus the other day; there was this woman, probably in her eighth month, just standing there for over half an hour waiting for a professor to show up for consultations. The poor thing looked absolutely exhausted and swollen, yet right next to her on the bench sat two total jerks who didn't even blink or offer a glance in her direction... I finally lost my cool and snapped, "Hey, for heaven's sake, get up! Can't you see she can barely stand?" It was nearly 90 degrees out, she was flushed bright red from the heat, and they just sat there like nothing was happening.

Oh, you’ve just gone and brought back a memory I’d much rather forget.... a few days ago, I was riding the subway home from a local vineyard out in Napa, just standing there in the middle of a nearly empty car, when suddenly the train jolts to a halt. Out of nowhere, this elderly woman at the far end of the car practically launches herself toward me—I am telling you, it was like she had been fired out of a catapult! She slammed right into me, and thank God I happened to be turned sideways, otherwise she would have knocked me flat on my face. It wasn't that I was injured, really, just a bit of a bruise on my leg and arm, but the sheer shock of it! Honestly, how do people behave like this? It isn't just the transit system either; it's everywhere—standing in line at Chase Bank, waiting at the doctor's office, or even just at the local Post Office. People seem to have zero regard for anyone else, acting as if they're the only person on the planet and everyone else is just an obstacle in their way. I’ve always been the type to feel bad for others and let people cut ahead of me, but lately, when I try to stand my ground because I'm being called out of turn at the hospital, those old men give me such nasty looks—as if they're the ones being inconvenienced just because they have some "urgent" business to attend to back at home!

Honestly, the absolute best part of this whole thing is reading everyone's comments... I mean, what is with all this modern hand-holding and constant caution? Back in my day, we were out in the fields every single day, digging up potatoes and lugging heavy baskets on our heads right up until the moment we went into labor! 🙂

Anthony Watson35 said:Yeah, we're obnoxious☕
Always have been—but honestly, I used to pride myself on it. You see those pathetic old folks who can barely stay upright? Real sight. I’d always jump up before they even got near me, just to offer a hand. But these ladies—who aren't even that old, mind you—put on their high heels and then start huffing right in my ear 😠...as if a little lift would actually move me!
It's easier now that I'm sitting down (morning sickness still hits me pretty hard most days, too). And frankly, I couldn't care less about how many kids someone had or how much dirt they moved afterward... ☕...they could've stayed put for all I care. I didn't force them to squeeze onto the subway with me ☕

I’ve always been the one to give up my seat to those poor seniors too... then just yesterday, I’m heading downtown to the farmer's market and I take a seat... I’m fourteen weeks pregnant, but you wouldn't even know it because my jacket hides my bump... then in come the old men, the elderly ladies, and those specific types of women who give you that nasty side-eye, acting like they’d gladly shove you off your chair just to sit for a single stop... they were looking at me just like that, thinking, "Look at this little thing, why is she sitting?" (they actually whispered about it, too), but I seriously look much younger than I am; anyone would swear I was twenty instead of twenty-seven... I was just sitting there with my hair blowing in the wind, practically waiting for someone to say something, and I think I might have caused a scene right there on the train... I mean, who do they think they are, deciding who gets to sit where and when!!!

Hannah Lewis2 said:😂😂😂 Pure genius. You could search the entire country with a magnifying glass and never find people this easy to talk to. 🤦

Honestly, my mom is starting to get on my nerves. We talk almost every single day, and the script never changes. It always kicks off with the same question—"Are you feeling okay? Is anything hurting?" And then it just spirals into this endless loop of nonsensical advice. Don't walk too much, stay out of the draft, dress warmer, use a blanket, put on shoes, eat more fruit, eat more bread, eat some meat, cook yourself a real meal, don't lift anything heavy... 🙄
🙄🙄 In those moments, I low-key just want to hear the sound of a phone receiver hitting someone's soft skull. My husband usually moves out of the room, just to be safe.

Bandera, it's like I'm listening to my own mother; she calls me every day and repeats the exact same script over and over again...

Honestly, I feel absolutely fantastic! I haven't had a single complaint or any physical issues to speak of. Before I even found out I was pregnant, I was a regular at the local gym, hitting my workouts consistently, so I fully intend to get back into a prenatal fitness routine and start incorporating plenty of walking into my daily schedule... 😉

I’m officially at 13 weeks and 2 days today...
I see you all are debating names... and honestly, the older women in my life have started hounding me too, and once I finally throw out a name they choose, the reactions are just hideous: "What kind of name is that? That's so tacky," or "Oh, don't even bother, I actually know someone with that name..." and before I know it, they've turned that perfectly good name into some ridiculous nickname...
Then comes the gender guessing games: "Well, what are you wearing?" or "What do you *think* you're carrying?" followed by "What's your gut feeling?" or "It could be a boy, but it might be a girl because you have such a certain look about you" (which is usually just their way of commenting on how much weight I've gained around my hips)...
And then the comments start about how I'm still way too thin—even though my doctor tells me I'm doing perfectly fine and there is absolutely nothing to worry about—and how I'm clearly not eating enough...
And why on earth am I not allowed to wash the windows?! Am I forbidden from even lifting my arms above my head? I can't vacuum, I can't mop the floors... I'm not even allowed to walk up the stairs normally, I have to waddle around like an absolute idiot... it's just exhausting...🙂

Hi everyone,
I happened to catch a few posts earlier where several women were asking about herbal teas that might offer some relief... well, my sister and I have actually been relying on evening primrose oil capsules for several years now. My sister dealt with a massive ovarian cyst—she carried it around for months, even ending up in the ER because they kept telling her she just had gas, until a gynecologist finally caught it on an ultrasound. I’ve dealt with them too, and since we were both quite young at the time, our mom bought us a few bottles of these supplements, and they completely cleared things up for us. We were dealing with those specific types of cysts that turn brown and just drain when they rupture (I can't recall the medical term, so please excuse me!). My sister took only two or three of those capsules, and the cyst ruptured and drained almost immediately.
Our mom also uses them to shrink or at least keep her liver and breast cysts under control.
Now, I’m not saying this is some kind of miracle cure, and it certainly won't work for every single woman out there, but I wanted to share my own experience since it has worked wonders for me—and even for some of my friends who struggled with ovarian issues. On top of that, evening primrose is fantastic for PMS symptoms; it really helps prevent that bloating, tender breasts, and general irritability.