Posts by northernwolf3

Maria Barnes said:The research cited in the first post comes straight from Kahneman’s book (published back in 2011). It was conducted in 2010 and is mentioned in the exact article you shared. Honestly, thanks for posting it—it helps us track down the original Kahneman study. In the article you're citing it states:

Those results are remarkably similar to the correlations reported in a 2010 study that found that people don't get happier after $75,000 a year.

This newer study isn't actually that different from the old one:

The difference the marginal dollar makes in reducing negative emotions starts to fall off around $70,000, is very low by $160,000 and hits zero around $200,000.

The recent study focuses on how money affects the reduction of negative moods, not on increasing overall well-being. The sharp decline starts at $70,000, and once you hit $200,000, money doesn't help reduce bad moods even a tiny bit. There's a graph for it.

And honestly, they also point out that while more money might not buy you extra joy, having too little definitely "buys" you a whole lot of misery.😁

Low income exacerbates the emotional pain associated with such misfortunes as divorce, ill health, and being alone. We conclude that high income buys life satisfaction but not happiness, and that low income is associated both with low life evaluation and low emotional well-being.

Maria Barnes said:It’s an annual household income. That’s how much a lucky family can spend in a single year. Period.

But people here are suggesting that that specific figure actually refers to an individual, whereas for a whole family, we’re looking at closer to $200,000.
It is also incredibly important to consider which country we are talking about, because the cost of living varies so wildly from place to place, meaning a specific dollar amount doesn't provide the same level of economic security whether you are in a small town in the Midwest or right in the heart of New York City.

Ultimately, though, the specific number matters less than the underlying principle, which is that financial scarcity triggers negative emotions that directly impact your overall sense of happiness. As your income climbs, those stressful feelings begin to subside, eventually hitting a plateau once you reach around $200,000. Beyond that point, any additional wealth won't really do much more to eliminate the stress caused by money shortages, so you stop feeling that distinct "boost" in happiness from higher earnings.

We also have to remember that well-being is heavily influenced by intangible factors—things like having deep, fulfilling relationships with your family, friends, and community, all of which require a significant investment of time. Because of this, there is a very real risk that chasing excessive wealth can actually lead to a sense of dissatisfaction; even if you’ve met the financial threshold required to cancel out the stress of being broke, you might find yourself losing the precious time needed to nurture the other vital parts of a happy life.

Nicholas King said:The whole thing about this non-nutritive garbage is pretty clear to me—basically, this shitty parable just amplifies the message of sheer stupidity they’re trying to push, and honestly, that isn't even the worst part about how crappy it is.

But, if we're strictly talking about maximizing the impact, getting aggressive and crude 😬 wouldn't the intended message be even more potent if it were handled differently? It feels a bit like saying, "Your nose is... rather large!"—I mean, sure, you could probably make it much stronger, much better. Or, you know, much more offensive. Not to mention the entire barrage of colorful retorts that such a "nuisance of a gesture" inevitably invites.

It’s pretty obvious you aren't Roxane, and he certainly isn't Cyrano.😁
Besides, he doesn't even seem worth the effort of coming up with anything beyond a standard, routine rebuttal... even if he actually possessed the talent to craft some truly devastating insults regarding someone's nose or their pride.

Nicholas King said:The actual reason for this thread will come a bit later, but first, let’s look at some general patterns regarding how Americans swear.

I don't really feel like dissecting the semantics of every single common profanity—that would be an incredibly tedious task, much too long. However, there are a few potent examples that actually force one to pause and reflect for a second.

So, do people actually think about the swears they utter? Is there some psychological component (let’s not even get into the background 😬) when choosing a specific insult, or do we just blurt out the first thing that pops into our heads without any real consideration of what we are actually saying?

For starters, take the notorious "suck my dick" (or alternatively, "stick it up your ass") that you constantly hear coming from macho types and homophobes: do they honestly believe that "the one doing the sticking" is somehow less gay than "the one receiving" (and we're talking about guys who would rather lose a vital internal organ than be perceived as gay—or at least want to maintain that impression 😬), or do they simply fail to process the literal meaning of their own words?

And here we go, slowly approaching the reason for the topic: yesterday, I had the pleasure of reading on a forum that I am, Quote, "annoying as hell". Let's ignore the context for a moment—it's truly irrelevant and uninteresting (one might say, terribly annoying 😁)—but the phrasing itself is quite intriguing: why, exactly, would a penis be considered "annoying" (implying it requires great effort; that it is exhausting—according to Merriam-Webster)? 😕

I once heard an explanation for the common phrase "stupid as hell"—the explanation was, admittedly, kindergarten-level (the idea being that a dick is stupid because it cries when it's having its best time 🤦), but it was an explanation nonetheless. What kind of explanation could exist for the "annoyance" of male genitalia—specifically such massive annoyance, given that the compound phrase is used as a much stronger figure of speech than "you're very annoying", "you're indescribably annoying", "you are soooooooo annnoyyyyying" or any other way to describe someone's immense exasperation? Nothing comes to mind for me, absolutely nothing.

I haven't been able to Google anything particularly meaningful on the subject, so I'm left wondering: if you were to encounter an association linking a dick to "annoyance," would you view it as a completely accidental and unconscious choice devoid of meaning, or do you believe that when people are swearing (and it's safe to assume we swear when our self-control is diminished), they occasionally stumble into a Freudian slip?

There is also this phenomenon where certain terms become part of a person's regular vocabulary. It's almost like a verbal tic—you know, those "umms," "likes," or various sounds that you can't quite put into words...
The same goes for profanity; once these words are absorbed into our everyday lexicon, they are often used without any intention of invoking the actual imagery they represent.
I’m talking about the literal act of, well, sticking it in someone or messing with someone's mother.

To start with, take the notorious "suck it" (or alternatively, "eat my dick") that you constantly hear coming from macho types and homophobes: do they truly believe that "the one doing the shoving" is somehow less gay than "the one receiving it" (and I’m talking about guys who would rather lose an internal organ than be perceived as gay—or at least want to maintain that illusion 😬), or do they simply fail to process the actual meaning behind their own words?

I’d argue that it isn’t really about the physical act, but more about the aggressive thrusting motion itself.
You can direct the exact same insult toward a woman, and it carries no positive sentiment whatsoever, even though the actual physical act is a standard part of heterosexual intimacy and usually quite pleasant.😁
You could even say "I'll stick it to you" in a way that echoes older metaphors, where the act wasn't pleasant for the recipient at all, and since that metaphor can sometimes be a stand-in for something else, maybe the "stick" is just a euphemism for the anatomy in question... in a figurative sense.🤷

I once heard an explanation for why people say someone is "as stupid as a dick"—it was a pretty childish explanation (essentially saying a dick is stupid because it cries when it’s having its best time 🤦), but it was an explanation nonetheless. What kind of reasoning could there be for using male genitalia to describe being annoying? Why is that specific anatomical reference used as such a powerful figure of speech instead of just saying "you're really annoying," "you're indescribably irritating," or "goddammit, you are sooooooooannoying" or any other way to express how incredibly grating someone is? Personally, nothing comes to mind.

.

Being "stupid" and "dim-witted" are similar concepts, but when it comes to being dim-witted, a penis is actually quite far from the sharp edge of something like an ice pick. In fact, it seems pretty blunt by nature, and intelligence certainly isn't its strong suit.

As for being annoying... using that specific term outside of a sexual or bathroom context doesn't serve much of a purpose. I suppose it's just as annoying to use it for something it wasn't originally designed for.🤷
You could argue that someone who is incredibly draining is like childbirth, but then you have people who haven't gone through that experience being deprived of the full realization of what that actually feels like, so I suppose the whole point gets lost in translation.

I couldn't quite find anything meaningful on Google regarding this topic, so I'm left wondering: if you were to encounter someone making an association between a dick and being annoying, would you view that as a completely accidental, unconscious choice made without any deeper intention, or do you think that when people are swearing—which, let’s face it, usually happens when our self-control is slipping—they might occasionally stumble into a Freudian slip?

Personally, I don't really think profanity carries such deep, symbolic weight, especially not in the sense that someone is literally visualizing or performing the act described by the swear word.

There is that old saying... "you're as full of jokes as poop is of vitamins," and honestly, that is a pretty spot-on way to describe someone who just lacks any sense of wit.
Because, in reality, waste products truly contain no vitamins since everything useful is absorbed by the body much earlier in the process. Yet, even in that case, nobody is sitting around performing a clinical vitamin analysis; they just take it as an insult and a mockery... which is exactly what it is meant to be.

Maybe you should try posting on Reddit; there are plenty of linguistic nerds over there who would probably enjoy digging into the etymology of specific expressions. 🤷 😁

cosmicskipper39 said:I really hope you're just kidding around here, because you honestly reminded me of Oscar Wilde, who was quite particular about the company he kept; he once noted that he chooses beautiful people for friends, well-meaning people for acquaintances, and wise people for enemies, suggesting that one must be both cautious and overly cautious when selecting their inner circle.

I don't think there is anything wrong with having standards in life.
Personally, I don't mind being around someone who is uneducated or sloppy with their language, though that’s probably just because I don't consider myself to be particularly polished either.😁

If a post doesn't actually give me a reason to respond—whether it's due to poor grammar or just boring content—then I simply won't reply, but if I write something that provokes a reaction through its substance or its style, whether that reaction is positive or negative... well, hey, this is an internet forum!
You have the chance to take a shot at others, but you also have to be prepared to get hit back.

Being illiterate is ugly, it's unpleasant, and it carries a certain stench of intellectual neglect, but poor grammar alone isn't enough evidence for me to assume that an uneducated person is also physically unattractive, smelly, or a complete mess in their personal life.

What Ryan Long61 is saying just isn't practical in a forum setting, which is exactly what Samuel Morgan40 pointed out, though I suspect his intentions were good, aiming to teach people how to write more correctly, which isn't a bad goal, it's just technically impossible to enforce.

And as for people flocking together like birds in a flock or managing their time however they please... well, that's just how life works, and I don't see any harm in it whatsoever.🤷
Everyone is free to post whenever the mood strikes them, and equally free to stay silent when they aren't feeling inspired.🙂

amberbison said:I honestly feel like we really ought to take a closer look at how we’re structuring our thread titles. I really feel like we all had to go through this together, almost like an inevitable rite of passage that we couldn't avoid if we wanted to move forward. I'll clean up the grammar and spelling, but I won't touch anything else; after all, you can learn so much about a person just by looking at their level of literacy—or lack thereof.

I mean, let's be honest—if nothing else works out, you’ll eventually find out pretty quickly whether a person actually smells good or if they just carry around a scent that makes you want to step back.
Honestly, there’s really no point in even bothering to respond to those absolutely illiterate, low-quality posts.
That is exactly how you bridge the gap between hard work and actual results—by investing both your time and your energy into something meaningful.🧐
Well, you know what they say... birds of a feather really do flock together.

Emily Kim67 said:Mares. 😬Based on everything we've discussed, we're looking at a mix of black horses and sorrels.

I mean, seriously, is it actually true that a mare is just a female horse? It sounds like one of those things you'd laugh at, but honestly, sometimes the simplest facts are the ones that make you pause for a second.😲
I heard that directly from my sweetheart when he told me... "Let me just give you a good squeeze, my darling," and honestly, I took it as such a beautiful sentiment. It was just one of those sweet, tender little things he says to me out of pure affection.🤣

Honestly, that guy Peter from Marin Dolac is just acting like he’s some kind of expert, but let’s be real—his mares are nothing more than a standard Vranac and a chestnut. We all take the piss out of him constantly, teasing him and asking if he’s absolutely certain that second one isn't just another chestnut.
Peter, you’re really out here acting like some kind of high-society aristocrat, but we all know you're just playing a part.
We’re really going to push his buttons regarding that multicolored bull, especially when his cow turns out to be spotted—you know how much he loves those patterned ones. It’s definitely going to get under his skin, but honestly, that’s just classic Peter for you.

Honestly, I don't think your buddy Peter is nearly as bad as you're making him out to be, though I suppose it's hard to say for sure when everyone seems so intent on acting like they have all the answers.😁
And don't even get me started on those people trying to act all high-and-mighty and noble... honestly, they aren't just some unrefined bunch of hillbillies either; you'll find every single kind of pretender under the sun.

I know this one guy whose mother is just incredible—she’s constantly making everything from scratch, whether it’s sewing her own gray shirts and pants or knitting these beautiful sweaters. Honestly, the woman has golden hands; she could practically run her own boutique if she wanted to.
I told her straight up that I wasn't interested in any of that cheap, imitation stuff she was peddling because I have much higher standards for what I bring into my life, and honestly, I only want the real deal—the high-quality items that come with the authentic Markicon seal.
And what exactly is she going to do? She’ll head down to the local boutique or maybe a shop like Nordstrom, pick up a bunch of those little crocodile emblems—not the living kind, obviously, just the decorative ones—and then proceed to pin them all over his entire wardrobe.
And now he’s wearing his underwear pulled up way above his waistband, so you can see them sticking out, and they've got a giant crocodile printed right on them.
And from here on out, everything really needs to align with her wardrobe, because that’s how she chooses things—she’s always gravitating toward those mini skirts, just one after another.😬

AJ, God help me. Listen, he clearly hasn't the slightest clue which shop he’s looking for, but honestly, you can find just about anything you could ever need right here in the city.

Honestly, I’ve come to realize that the city can be such an overwhelming, soul-crushing force sometimes. It really feels like this massive, looming entity that just exists to drain the life out of you if you aren't careful.
Honestly, if we didn't have the internet to guide us, I truly believe people would struggle to remember their own names, let alone figure out what an actual conversation is even supposed to look like.
Here is how you lay it out... I am Gvozdenko Celik, my wife is Vesela, née Lesina, and our son is Kamenko... so whenever they need to verify anything, they can just take a look at this and have all the answers they could ever need.😁

Have you ever actually sat down and watched any Jack? You know, that classic bit where he says, "Hey, where did we sell that gadget, man?"

😕🤷

Don't take it personally, northernwolf3.🙂I got a little caught up in the moment there, and I realize it’s getting late. So, about that term—it’s actually a specific regional way of describing a horse that has a patch of a different color on its forehead. It essentially stems from the word for "flower," referring to that distinct spot. When people from the local area take that root word and play around with the dialect to give it a bit more flavor, you end up with this unique little variation that sounds exactly like what I mentioned.

To me, that sounds absolutely romantic.
I’ve always had such a soft spot for people who are a bit more substantial and hearty, and honestly, I just love being around those folks who have that natural knack for making me laugh.
And you've gone and made me laugh, too... what a lovely way to kick off the week!🙂

Emily Kim67 said:Back in my neck of the woods, we're talking about black and chestnut stallions, not men.
Though, I should mention that Vranac isn't just a horse breed—it's also a type of wine, though that would make it Vranac.🙂
Actually, let me correct myself, my hometown is a much more remote, rural spot than most people realize.
And honestly, my horse is a bit of a handful, so there's a good chance I'm totally wrong here since I don't know the first thing about someone else's livestock.🤷

So, what do you call female horses when the male versions are known 😁 as Vranac and chestnut?🤷
Would they be called Vranka and Ridjanka?🤷
😁
And frankly, I don't even know what a "handful" entails in this context.😕

A lovely, sweet, and totally chill movie🙂
I honestly loved it; it’s just so easygoing... there isn't any heavy-handed philosophizing, just a bunch of genuinely funny bits
That scene where he walks out of the house after spending the night with her, absolutely glowing because he's so in love, and everyone is just smiling at him and dancing along, and then a little bird actually lands right on his hand... man, that part just completely lifted my spirits
There really is no better feeling than that silly, giddy kind of infatuation, and that is exactly what this captures😁

And then you realize that even after finding "The One," there might be another "The One" out there too😁...I mean, how much more can life give you?😁

Henry Patel20 said:should they just pack up and head back to the middle of nowhere?🙏

but they’re making a hell of a lot of money doing it😁

copperfox22 said:Not really, honestly. I’ve spent the whole time telling myself the problem lies with those naughty kids, and by extension, with my own head.😬

But the real question is: how are you supposed to convince someone to drink that cocktail even if you actually manage to get your hands on it?😁

Seriously, what did you put in this wine?
this strange concoction
that you pulled a fast one on me with

🙂

No, really, there aren't any flaws here.😍

But how can it be flawless when they won't even give me a chance?😲
I mean, honestly, nothing could possibly go wrong beyond that point.😁

Walter Peterson said:Because you weren't actually looking. You’re still wearing those "bubblegum pink" styles.😉

Well, I found out😁
looking at his foot, he has one toe that’s way longer than his big toe, almost up to the next knuckle😁
and honestly, it became immediately obvious to me that his ego just wouldn't be able to handle me pointing out my own mistakes😁

Walter Peterson said:I am aware. I suppose I just need some form of consolation. 😉

🤣
You're absolutely right,🙂
and that's exactly what I tell myself too... that anyone who isn't with me is clearly the one missing out here.😁
So yeah, I'll just try to comfort myself, because what else is there to do?😬
though it would definitely be a lot more helpful if things could just 😵

Walter Peterson said:You understood me perfectly. One ought to strive to be a good person, yet one must remain vigilant regarding that thin line where kindness devolves into mere stupidity. A positive approach isn't a universal remedy; it only works on those who actually possess some semblance of value. Think about it—when someone approaches you with a crude, arrogant, and negative attitude fueled by nothing but prejudice, does that person truly appeal to you?

No one bothered to bring up their own perfection. 🙂 When people look for a life partner—specifically those mature enough to actually want a lasting relationship, marriage, or a family—they tend to prioritize a very specific set of virtues: kindness, responsibility, courage in the face of adversity, honesty, and loyalty. Honestly, anyone who overlooks those qualities is genuinely losing out.

It isn’t that you did something wrong; it’s just that you did it with the wrong person. If he were actually the right one for you, you’d be busy writing a Wedding Quote instead of this.🙂

They really do. And once again, I’m the one left with all the experience. 😁

Man, if it were really that simple, we wouldn't see so many broken hearts out there everywhere.😁
You could find someone who checks every single one of those boxes, but if that spark—that undeniable chemistry that makes everything feel worthwhile—just isn't there, then honestly, what's the point?

I honestly feel like we’ve been circling this topic for ages without ever really landing on a solid conclusion, and if you ask me, it’s high time we took a much closer look at how these systemic shifts are actually impacting our day-to-day lives here in the States. It isn't just about the surface-level changes that everyone seems to be buzzing about on social media; it’s about the deeper, more structural movements within our institutions that tend to go unnoticed until they’ve already fundamentally altered the landscape we're all navigating. I’ve always believed that if you take the time to step back and observe the broader patterns rather than getting caught up in the immediate noise, you start to see these inevitable trajectories forming, and frankly, I think we’re standing right on the precipice of a significant turning point that will demand a lot more from us than just passive observation. kaže:
People just haven't figured out how to existence without feeling pain yet, have they?The real crux of the matter—the absolute heart of the struggle—is that lingering ache you feel from loss, that heavy sense of loneliness, and that hollow, echoing emptiness left behind. That is where the whole trick lies. 🙂

I honestly feel like we haven’t touched on this enough lately, but there is something about the way people approach these kinds of discussions that always strikes me as a bit narrow-minded, if I’m being completely honest with you all. It seems like everyone is so quick to jump to conclusions without really weighing the long-term implications of what they're saying, and I find myself constantly wanting to step back and offer a more balanced perspective because I truly believe we can do better than just reacting emotionally to every little thing that happens in the news cycle. If we could just take a moment to breathe and look at the broader landscape—much like how one might analyze a complex market shift on Wall Street rather than just panicking over a single day's dip—we would realize that most of these issues aren't as black and white as they seem at first glance. I am not trying to be difficult or contrarian for the sake of it, but I genuinely feel that a more nuanced, steady-handed approach would serve us all much better in the long run, and I'm eager to hear if anyone else feels that same sense of cautious optimism about finding some middle ground here. kaže:
So, how do you actually move past that paralyzing fear when you start sensing "something in the air" again? It’s that heavy, unmistakable feeling where the memory of your last heartbreak or failure hits you so hard it feels like a physical force, and suddenly you're stuck, unable to move forward because that old pain is just holding you hostage in the exact same spot.

Look at what's actually causing you the most grief here.
Is it just a fleeting thought, or am I actually dreading the sting of another missed opportunity?
That’s exactly how you should be playing it, so just use that as your North Star moving forward.🤷

wiredmoose3 said:Certain? I’m not certain about anything—not even my own mortality... for instance, I’ve heard people claiming some guy has been alive for two thousand years and will live forever 🤷😁
Yeah, I agree that losing faith is terrifying—but only because reality starts hitting you all at once... and we all know how ugly and intimidating reality can get. Still, facing it is the only way to actually *live*... it gives you the agency to manage your life, look at it clearly, steer it, and eventually accept it. Of course, you won't always be "on top of things," and life will knock you down sometimes, but you learn to pick yourself up over time. And if you can't? Well, there are friends (if you're lucky), and there's zero shame in seeking professional help these days
It wasn't easy for me to accept the possibility that my prince might never show up in this lifetime... but after the initial disappointment, my own life started feeling clearer, more defined... which happened to coincide with that first, sudden wave of general maturity (which is, naturally, a lifelong 😉 process)... you realize there are no princes, that faith is just a fog (and I don't mean 😁 politics), hope is a fickle 😁 Baby blues, and certainty is nothing but an illusion... yet you still have to keep walking... and
...."maybe everything really does work out for the best"...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmr1Ind-3kA

Look, if you really want to get down to brass tacks, everything that’s been highlighted in bold is essentially the heart and soul of the whole matter.
You really just have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes, life is just going to throw you a curveball, and honestly, shit happens.
Maybe it’s just you, copperfox22... or maybe it’s everyone else too (though, honestly, I feel it right along with you).😁)
Listen, this doesn't mean you have to hang up your knitting needles or stop making those cozy sweaters altogether. It’s really just about timing. If you’re feeling completely burnt out right now, then honestly, just sit down and give yourself permission to rest—let your fingers relax, give your brain a break, or whatever else needs some downtime. Once you've had a moment to recharge, you'll find yourself ready to jump right back into it with a much lighter step.😁
You also have to be able to come to terms with the idea that maybe, just maybe, you aren't destined to possess every single thing that might bring you happiness in this lifetime.
It’s a bit of a tough pill to swallow at first, I know, but once you truly wrap your head around the reality of it all, there’s this incredible sense of relief that washes over you, almost like a massive weight is finally being lifted off your chest because you realize that in the next life, everything is going to work out so much better.
Or maybe even the third option...😁

wiredmoose3 As if I haven't heard this one before!
I’m just at a point where I’ve had enough of the struggle, the constant mistakes, and all those wrong turns that seem to lead nowhere. I honestly don't have any desire to chase after more heartache or deal with the fallout of bad decisions anymore; I'm ready for some peace.
It honestly feels like you’re saying you don't even want to live life at all... but I know how this goes, you'll just end up changing your mind and saying "I do" eventually, I'm certain of it.🙂And that’s exactly where the catch lies—it all comes down to the fact that you just won't accept him.

I wouldn't exactly go so far as to say that copperfox22 is completely unwilling to embrace life, including all the inevitable suffering and the messy, difficult parts that come along with it.
She’s just done with taking the long way around anymore, you know? Honestly, she’s just reached her limit—it's exhausting to keep going in circles like that, and it's honestly wearing a person down.
Even when you’re fully aware that there isn’t any other way to look at it—that eventually, you’re inevitably going to mess things up again—there’s still this deep, nagging desire to just wish those screw-ups were kept to an absolute minimum.
And then you think about just taking a little break to clear your head... but honestly, even that doesn't quite hit the mark.🤷

It’s honestly such a heavy feeling when you hit that specific stage of life where you just start questioning everything, wondering if it’s even worth the effort to try something new or see where things might lead. You find yourself stuck in this exhausting loop of wanting to move forward, yet you're simultaneously completely dissatisfied with the way things are right now, which leaves you feeling totally paralyzed by the uncertainty of what's actually ahead.
Humans are fundamentally social creatures who thrive on connection, and while having a solid circle of friends and supportive family members is absolutely essential for a balanced life, there is still this subtle, missing piece to the puzzle that remains elusive in almost any other context. There is a very specific, unique kind of intimacy—that deep, singular closeness—that you just can't quite replicate through platonic bonds or kinship, and it’s something you can only truly experience within the framework of a romantic relationship.
The world isn't going to end just because you don't have that one specific thing, and honestly, you eventually learn how to make peace with whatever life hands you, but there’s always going to be that tiny little ache lingering deep inside, a persistent little sting that refuses to fully fade away—and you really shouldn't try to crush it out of existence.
You really have to let the whole thing cocoon itself first, just sitting back and waiting to see if a butterfly actually emerges from the shell—because, honestly, once that transformation starts, you aren't looking at a caterpillar anymore, you're looking at something entirely different.😁It’s just one of those things, you know... whether we're talking about those stunningly beautiful wings or that deep, heavy gloom that seems to settle in during the night, I can't help but wonder if anything actually gets better, or if some things just stay broken forever.
The real struggle is that you just don't have the stomach to sit around and wait anymore, especially when you're stuck staring into the void without any clue what's actually going to happen next.

By the way, I was just checking my watch and realized that everything Peje had written down in the logbook didn't actually line up with the actual time.

It really just boils down to this: an A grade is usually the direct result of actual knowledge, whereas a failing grade is typically just the fallout of not knowing anything at all.
You know, you should probably drop by the old neighborhood spots every once in a while, even if you aren't exactly paying close attention to everything going on—just a quick visit to say hello, provided you don't overstay your welcome.😁

Is suffering actually a good thing? I honestly believe it is, and there’s a real necessity to it. Without going through those difficult, painful stretches, you simply don't see any genuine progress or meaningful personal growth, nor do you ever truly learn to appreciate the deeper beauty in life. Think about it—is a person who is constantly comfortable and perfectly content ever going to be pushed out of their comfort zone? It’s highly unlikely. Real movement only happens when things get tough.

It’s honestly such a blast to just embrace the struggle sometimes, you know? There is something incredibly liberating about pushing yourself to the absolute limit, like sprinting full tilt toward a finish line in a place like Boulder, Colorado, when you've still got that youthful energy and a bit of madness in your soul. When you're young and feeling reckless, those moments where you're gasping for air and testing your own boundaries are exactly what make life feel vivid and real.
When you finally reach a certain age, there’s this incredible sense of peace that settles in, where being genuinely happy and content becomes the ultimate goal, and honestly, there is nothing quite like the simple pleasure of taking a slow, steady stroll, even if you aren't exactly covering much ground.

placidranger said:Years aren't exactly consistent—not that anyone expected them to be. 🙂 Look, being skeptical is fine—it’s actually healthy. There are far too many idiots running around in expensive suits pretending they know what they're doing.

What, did you just move the goalposts? I don't see how changing the criteria actually solves anything—I’m still essentially the same person at my core, so we're right back where we started. It won't change the outcome.

It all started with that classic line—"as long as she's a woman." 🙂 I didn't have a clue what I actually wanted—everything seemed fine enough at first. Then, bit by bit, I started figuring out what actually worked for me. My standards just kept climbing across the board—constantly shifting, constantly evolving.
I don't view my standards as part of who I am—they're more like a mold. It’s a filter that someone has to pass through before I decide they're worth anything more. Sometimes, people slip right through despite being completely wrong for me. In those cases, I tighten the requirements. Other times, I loosen them up just to see what happens when I let something unpredictable into the mix.

The fear comes from a realization I’ve had before—I'm basically just quoting myself here. If I actually start liking someone, this nagging feeling kicks in. It doesn't matter if it's irrational or not; it's there. I get this sense that things won't work out because I simply won't fit their mold—or worse, I'll end up being cast in some role in their life that I just can't stomach.
Am I crazy for wanting exactly what I need?

Some things are just non-negotiable essentials—dammit. 🤷I can't do "halfway." I’ve already lived through that dream once—it was a nightmare—and there was just no way I could settle for a lopsided relationship. That’s exactly why I walked away from it all after years of endless attempts, constant investing, and nothing but compromises that left me empty-handed.

Are you actually certain about what you need? Are you positive that *that* specific thing is what’s going to make you happy—and not just some other distraction?

It isn't just about getting older... there is so much more weighing on you... the disappointments, the heartache, all those awkward experiences... and honestly, that growing lack of energy to constantly be out and about searching for something.
Sometimes it’s just nice to sit down and relax, especially when your legs are aching from being on the move all day.😁

It all started with the simple idea of "as long as she's a woman." 🙂 Back then, I didn't have a clue what I actually wanted, and everything seemed perfect. But gradually, I started figuring out what truly fits my life, so my standards began to grow and shift across all sorts of different areas as I adapted.

I think everyone goes through this... once you realize there are fundamental differences between men and women... you start by looking at their temperament.. that's usually where the distinction first hits you.😁
Then you eventually realize there are other layers to it... and you find yourself trying to ensure those other differences stay as minimal as possible.
The technical term for it would be... maturity.😁

I don't really view my criteria as an extension of my identity, but rather as a mold that someone has to pass through before I decide to take things further. Sometimes people who are totally wrong for me slip through, so I tighten the mold in certain spots, and other times I loosen it up a bit just to see what happens if I let something unexpected and unpredictable in.

To me, it looks more like those criteria are part of who you are, you're just being flexible in how you apply them.
Everyone has their own threshold for tolerance... you aren't going to build a rigid mold to exact specifications and never change it, not even then.
But if your mold is three liters big... one person isn't going to fill it up.
And yet... if you try to force five liters into it... you might manage to fit four once you loosen things up, but that fifth liter is always going to be extra, no matter how you look at it.

Are you absolutely sure you know what you need? That *this* is exactly what will make you happy, rather than something else entirely?

Look... I honestly don't know if what I want is 100% what will actually make me happy.
Right now, I think it is... but thinking about it is a real headache.
But then again... how can I think about anything else when I've only got this one brain to work with?🤷
I'd much prefer if I didn't have to think at all—if I could either just naturally encounter exactly what I need, or if I could just stop caring about the things I haven't figured out yet.
But neither of those is going to happen... I'll still be overthinking, and it won't just magically appear.
So you just sit there thinking... and then what?😁

copperfox22 said:Well, it isn’t huge, though there’s still some variety, even if everything is pretty much centered around the West Coast. 😁 I don't really meet a ton of new people, but honestly, I'm also starting to feel less interested in doing so. At the same time, I still want that special connection to happen—even if it doesn't last forever, I just want to feel some kind of meaningful spark.🙂

There's definitely a lot of that going on. I'm just done with the heartache, the mistakes, and all the wrong turns.

it's honestly just like that discussion we had about the forest trails and the marathon😁

It’s a tricky spot to be in... you want someone, but you also want them to check all your boxes
And again, you can't just change your criteria because those standards are fundamentally part of who you are
Besides, there’s absolutely no point in trying to force something that isn't there

There's plenty of that to go around. I just don't want any more heartache, mistakes, or walking down the wrong paths.

Maybe that mindset is actually what's holding you back
Because you're so afraid of heading down the wrong path, you tell yourself immediately, "No, this is the wrong way, I'm not even going there"
The whole trial-and-error approach isn't really a solution in this case, but deep down, you know there isn't any other way
Unless you believe that the right person will just magically appear on their own... or will they? 🤷
Love is essentially a state of being vulnerable... it's just that as we get older, we become increasingly reluctant to let ourselves be vulnerable
And sometimes, you just need a little bit of luck on your side

copperfox22 said:This is my first real roadblock. 🙂
I honestly don't know if there are many people out there who would even be willing to deal with my current life situation. Maybe that's already bleeding into how I act without me even realizing it—I might be subconsciously writing people off before they even get a chance.

Maybe that’s the trick. It isn't about lowering your standards, but rather increasing your tolerance.

.

Now, I consider myself pretty damn tolerant. Especially when it comes to the people I actually care about. I’m the type where, if I let you get close, "everything goes"—hyperbole aside, of course. What I mean is, I’m not shallow or half-hearted when it comes to relationships. I either aim for something deep and meaningful, or I don't bother at all.

That's why, when I commit, I go all in.

So now the question is, what happens to those of us who are closer to 30 than 20?

????

Let the smart ones weigh in. 😁

So, what about your... social radius?
What I mean is, how much opportunity do you actually have to meet new potential partners?