I have spent my entire life surviving on nothing but dreams—building my own little world bit by bit, brick by brick. I protect it fiercely from the outside world; I rarely let anyone in. And frankly, it’s better this way. It leaves no room for depression to take hold. I am shielded within an illusion that, more than once, actually manifested into reality. The only thing that scares me is when I start craving something I shouldn't...🤣☕🤷
Paul Thompson3 said:I was going to post this in Philosophy, but since everyone in the psych group seems to share the common denominator of being "totally screwed," I figured I'd drop it here instead. Life is a struggle—blah, blah, blah... But what happens when that struggle doesn't actually have a goal worth fighting for? When you’ve just been spinning your wheels for ages, staring at a wall, knowing full well nothing is ever going to change? You get those little bursts of ego, thinking you've made it, only to crash back down again—just an endless cycle of highs and lows against a backdrop of absolute, impenetrable nothingness. There's no safe harbor, no handhold, nothing actually worth living for. Is this the headspace most people find themselves in right before they decide to end it all?
Life has to have meaning—even if we can't see it right now. Isn't there something beautiful about waiting for hope? You never know when it might finally show up. When you feel like everything has lost its purpose, that’s actually the perfect moment to start something new. Good luck. As long as you’re breathing, you still have a shot... or so the terminally ill would tell you. I truly hope you aren't in that position. I really do.
Karen Garcia6 said:Have you ever dealt with someone close to you—someone you thought you knew inside and out—where you just hit this wall? Like, no matter how much history there is, you eventually realize they don't actually give a damn about your opinion...
I mean, I’m pretty sure everyone here has been there at some point. So, how do you handle it? Do you actually sit them down and try to talk it out, or do you just let it slide and ignore it? Or does it hurt enough that you just stop caring about clearing the air altogether?
Anyway, I know I'm throwing a lot of questions at you all at once, but just answer however you feel is best. Just stick to the topic... 🙂
Yes. I talked about it until I was blue in the face. If I hadn't, our relationship would have suffered irreparable damage. However, before diving in, I took a moment to weigh the cost—what would it actually gain me if they finally acknowledged my perspective? There was, however, one specific point I refused to let go of, and for that, I fought. If you can manage to stay silent, then clearly, the validation wasn't a necessity for you. If you cannot, then it is obvious that you need it deeply.
I grew up surrounded by the older generation—grandfathers who spent their lives out on the Mississippi riverbanks with their fishing boats and gear... And I suppose that’s why I have always had such an immense soft spot for my elders.
Don't mention it.🙂 It isn't selfishness—it is simply that you are struggling. Graham suggested you consult a professional, and frankly, I find myself in agreement with him. These days, there are treatments available for just about everything; perhaps try practicing some positivity rather than ignoring the reality of the situation. Sending plenty of good vibes your way...🙂
Everyone processes their emotions through a different lens, don't they? If you feel like you’re losing control—and subsequently being unfair to him—then perhaps the best move is to create some distance. Or, simply ask him, quite gently, for a bit more breathing room. You aren't being selfish by stepping back to avoid hurting him; in fact, it's often the most considerate thing to do. For instance, I find myself feeling wounded when someone else feels overwhelmed by my own emotional outbursts. 🤷
Regarding your health situation—whatever the diagnosis may be—I truly hope for the best possible outcome. Do your research and seek out reliable information. Having a solid understanding of what you're facing can make the entire burden much easier to carry.
How exactly do you define "quickly achievable"? Nothing happens overnight—unless, of course, I am simply attempting to practice a bit of patience. No, I don't believe one can always chase every dream—sometimes they fade away, and other times I find myself waiting for the impulse to pass if the price tag seems a bit too steep. I'm not quite sure how else to put it.
What is your take on visionaries? Do you believe they tend to overreach simply because they are perpetually in motion—always chasing the next horizon rather than finding a sense of peace? Is it even possible for a true visionary to ever truly settle, or is life defined by an endless pursuit? I count myself among them. It isn't about greed or accumulating material wealth; rather, it is about the relentless pursuit of a dream. I am driven to reach my goals, though I make a point of ensuring my path doesn't trample anyone else along the way. I find it nearly impossible to abandon what I set out to achieve. But it begs the question: are there certain dreams we ought to let go of?
Could they be bed bugs? Those tiny little pests that feed on blood. You should probably check your mattress—specifically along the seams. If you spot any small black specks or faint bloodstains on your sheets, there’s a very high probability you have an infestation. If it is indeed bed bugs, finding them isn't easy—but if you commit to some intense steam cleaning, you might just flush them out. They generally only come out at night to feed on us. I know, it sounds absolutely terrifying, but it’s been proven that they don't actually transmit any diseases. One trick is to wrap the bed frame in tape coated with Vaseline; that way, you can sleep without being bitten. Eventually, the bugs will either migrate away or simply starve to death.
briskmoose90 said:Oh, Emily, they didn't actually tell you your posts were great—they just said you wrote "very good" in them. Those two little words 😁
I have never actually written it that way. When I first registered, Life in Two explained to me during my first confirmation that such phrasing isn't allowed. Naturally, I went straight to the forum rules and read through the guidelines.
Admittedly, there are moments when I feel the urge to snap, "Is anyone else finding this ridiculous?" It stemmed from a thread where a man was attacking a woman simply because she hit his car in the garage. Someone had even gone as far as to ask if he would be just as violent if she had broken a baby's neck—or perhaps driven a car into his mother.
I am honestly not sure if I will end up receiving a red card from the moderators for this particular post.🤷
Even if my previous post was deemed out of line—which is debatable—I have been browsing this forum for several years now. I have witnessed plenty of similar comments pass by without anyone lifting a finger to delete them. And it isn't just here on Zud; I frequent other subforums as well.
If I merely included a "very good" to show agreement, why was my entire post scrubbed? Why was the whole thread deleted right at the start? Why wasn't there even a polite warning? My post did contain an affirmation, certainly, but it was also constructive in its own way.
I am at a loss for words. It seems there is no democracy to be found here.
rustydrifter10;34129507 said:Emily, I went through your posts and ended up deleting most of them from Zud. We are clearing out everything that consists of just emojis, likes, or signatures—it’s pure off-topic clutter and spam. Your last deleted post was essentially the same thing, just stretched into a few sentences alongside a "good luck, don't worry."
Forgive me, rustydrifter10, but that isn't quite accurate. My last two posts were actually constructive. And now I am being told that we aren't supposed to offer advice here? This isn't an advice column, yet everyone opens threads specifically asking for guidance. Frankly, you moderators over at Zud have been quite disappointing.
It isn't just that you're breaking the rules with senseless posts that stifle the conversation without adding anything of substance; it’s that you’ve been getting away with it without receiving any deserved warnings. Unfortunately, it seems the old saying "give them an inch and they'll take a mile" applies perfectly here, so you can expect formal warnings moving forward for posts of this nature.
Why would we be stifling the discussion? We are here to grow, to share our perspectives, and by doing so, contribute to the dialogue. There is really no need to insult us in such a manner.👎
ZgSash
Who exactly said my posts were "very good"? And what, precisely, constitutes a "very good post" in your eyes? If I have navigated a certain life situation and possess relevant experience, why shouldn't I share that on a forum?
She keeps deleting my posts. I’ve reached out via DM twice—being perfectly polite, mind you—to ask why my contributions just seem to vanish from the threads. Her response? That they weren't "constructive," followed by a firm pointer toward the forum guidelines. So, I read them. I adjusted my tone to be more constructive, yet my posts and even new threads continue to disappear into thin air.
casualscout6 said:Has she ever even asked you to help her fix those problems? Did she ask for your take on what went wrong?
If those two aren't in the picture anymore, I’d be pretty annoyed if I were in her shoes dealing with you trying to step in. Your friend isn't perfect. Look, forget her flaws for a second. You're already calling her arrogant, and now you're going to lecture her on how she can have a great love life and basically save her from herself. 🤣 Does that not set off a little alarm in your head?
Look, if she asks, be a decent person and a friend—tell her the truth as you see it. If you're stuck between a yes or no, when she brings it up, just ask her straight out if she wants support or if she's ready for some brutal honesty. Then respect whatever she says. People will still get their feelings hurt, but hopefully, real friendship matters more than a bruised ego (and it pays to be tactful but direct).
Otherwise, you just look like the "friend" who's convinced she knows what's best for everyone else and is now going to tell this woman how to live her life. She's fifty. Since when are you the authority on her romantic life? I mean, you get me—dumping unsolicited advice on someone is basically acting superior to them, and that's something people generally hate. Personally, it would drive me insane if a friend tried to dictate what I should or shouldn't do in my own life. I have zero tolerance for people who try to play boss over their social circle.
If you're her friend, then just be her friend, even if she keeps making the same stupid mistakes forever. It's not your job to fix her (even in some crazy hypothetical world where you actually had the power to do so. Let's be real—you don't. You aren't going to "save" her by pointing out her flaws. You can't help; she's the only one who can help herself if she decides she needs it). Your only real choice is deciding whether or not you want to hang out with someone like that. If you do, be a friend, not a mother.
And if you're really itching to "explain" her mistakes to her, I suggest you at least ask if she even wants to hear your opinion first. Or wait until her next venting session about her current guy; if she's coming to you for advice then, just give it to her straight.