Posts by ironjackal20

James Cox6 said:The one thing that actually gets under my skin is finding out someone’s pregnant... whether it's a beta level of 150 or just finding out they're expecting... all those damn congratulations...
I honestly still don't get it—to this day... what exactly am I supposed to be congratulating anyone for??
What does "being pregnant" even mean? It’s a big nothing... there’s so much that can change, especially in those first 12 weeks... so if anyone wants to take offense, it's the damn celebrators 😠
Congratulate me when, God willing, 🙂 the baby is actually born...
I'll play along and offer congrats on this forum just because it's the default setting here, but in the real world... the moment someone brings it up to me... I'll cut them off mid-sentence... and they won't hear a word about that topic from me ever again...

Can someone please just understand where I'm coming from? I'm actually looking forward to things.🙂
Mostly, honey, we are in total agreement on this topic—more than we've ever agreed on anything else.😍
It was great how he sat everyone down beforehand and asked them to keep things low-key without all the euphoria... and he clearly handled it well, because even though she isn't usually the type to get overly excited, everyone is happy but they respect our feelings and don't pester us with stupid questions. Everyone agreed we'll celebrate in August 🙂 I'll buy everyone unlimited burgers and fries and let the party go wild while I'm at the hospital... then they can celebrate.😂

Jerry Bailey47 said:Regarding my mother-in-law—she actually called my mom the other day just to claim we’re overdoing it with the baby gear (as if we’re blowing our budget on overpriced nonsense). Of course, she was really aiming that at me—since I'm clearly the one "influencing" my husband to pick the premium options. 🙄 I wouldn't even care if we didn't all know how he is—everything has to be top-tier or he’s perpetually dissatisfied. But since he's her golden boy, why wouldn't she just pin the blame on me instead? 🤣 Naturally, she won't say a word to him directly—she's too intimidated by him.

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law live halfway across the country, so they give their "advice" via FaceTime, constantly pressuring my husband to do everything around the house instead of me and telling him he can't say anything that might upset me😂. I just love their attitude. It actually surprises me sometimes because they are usually on my side, but then again, they've only had him as the man in the house for over 20 years since his dad passed away when the kids were little. I used to think they were just being possessive, but honestly, they're pretty fair.

Charles Moore49 said:It honestly drives me crazy when I try to talk to my mother-in-law about the gear I’ve been browsing for the baby or what I’m planning to buy, because she immediately cuts me off with, "Oh, don't worry, there's plenty of time! How long will you even be in the hospital? Three days? We can just buy everything for you while you're recovering..." I truly don't understand what they think they can accomplish in just three days, considering we have to assemble the nursery furniture, wash all the tiny clothes, and get everything perfectly organized... once the baby arrives, everything needs to be ready to go, and the idea of leaving it all up to someone else during those first three days just goes completely against my nature... so naturally, I've stopped trying to bring it up with her altogether...
Anyway, I’m entering my sixth month now, and since this is my first child—and their first grandchild—everything feels quite significant, though I'm on strict bed rest, so I can't exactly indulge in the luxury of a last-minute shopping spree, which is a situation I definitely want to avoid, making it much easier to just prepare, plan, and organize things bit by bit as I go...
So, my husband went ahead and picked up some essentials the other day—a crib, some bedding, a mattress—and apparently, his mother took it personally and snapped at us, asking, "Why on earth are you rushing everything?" 😲😲
What rush, honey? I just want to make sure we have everything the baby needs so nothing is missing; I'm going to be a new mom, and I want everything to be absolutely perfect and ready...
Besides, I haven't heard from anyone else, nor has anyone suggested that it's too early to start shopping... and I certainly won't wait until after the delivery to see if anyone decides to buy me something... I was actually hoping she might ask if we had looked at anything yet, or if she could help since she insists on doing everything in those three days, so why wouldn't she just ask what I actually want, what I've been looking at, or what I need? 🙂

I get what you're saying, so don't crowd me right now—and I definitely don't need any barley. 😛
I was just posting about this on a pregnancy forum yesterday. Since my pregnancy is high-risk and we lost our first one, my husband thinks he can just handle everything and buy all our supplies in the final seven days... I honestly have to laugh. He even thinks we'll be picking out a name during that last week, too. 😂So, we have exactly seven days to get all the gear, names, and baby technicalities sorted out.
I actually find that quite endearing. I know he’s only acting that way because of the deep-seated fear he's dealing with, not because he doesn't care about the baby.
Honestly, I don't really stress about much, except for one thing: having a healthy baby. My due date is in August, so it’s going to be sweltering here. I figure we'll need ten super thin onesies, twenty cloth diapers, and a light swaddle to start. You might think I'm crazy, but all this gear is secondary right now. I'm just living from one doctor's appointment to the next.

Jerry Bailey47 said:Charles Moore49—just let her talk and do what she wants. Obviously, you can't just buy everything in a three-day window; it took me three whole months just to pick out a stroller—first browsing online, then hitting the stores, and finally making a call. It’s smart to keep an eye on sales too, since you can snag much better deals that way—something that doesn't happen in a single weekend. And honestly, it's not too early at all; I personally think everything should be ready a month ahead of time because you never truly know when that baby is going to make its appearance. It's all just old wives' tales and superstitions. 😉

My cousin ended up giving birth six weeks early, so the little guy is actually five months old now. Since she runs her own business, she had to head straight to the hospital from work. She didn't have anything prepared at home, so our family stepped in to help out—luckily we're a big group. By the time they got home, everything was set up and ready to go, which she absolutely loved. You hear all kinds of stories, but I think the best approach is just not to stress about the chaos; things usually work out great in the end.
Sometimes I think about the circumstances surrounding my brother’s birth. He's eight years younger than me, and back then, we were right in the middle of building our house. My mom actually had to leave the construction site to head straight to the hospital, and since we didn't have anything ready, she ended up having to dress him in my old clothes to get him started. 😂Haha, my brother is flying high today; he’s doing absolutely great.
I honestly think having everything ready a month ahead of schedule is just perfect. I'll try to convince my husband to push our seven-day prep window up to thirty.

feralmoose32 said:It isn't just you, either—other women in similar situations deal with this too—so I really don't see why everyone gets so worked up about it. 🤷
Ultimately, it's your call whether you want to tie the knot now, wait until after the baby arrives, or just skip the whole ceremony entirely.
The reality is that we still live in a pretty traditional society, and people are always going to have these kinds of questions...

I actually find it pretty funny how nobody has even breathed a word about our wedding for years 😁. Honestly, if they had asked, we probably would have just said we were already married, and then they wouldn't have known what to make of it.

Now I'm genuinely curious if anyone will dare to ask anything once my bump starts showing... I didn't want to get married until I was certain we were actually having a baby. That was my call, and regardless of how much my husband wanted to marry sooner, I didn't budge. It looks like we'll likely have both the wedding and the baptism on the same day, which feels really beautiful and romantic to me. We're at an age where 🤣

I also wonder if anyone will realize that the baby was conceived before the wedding. 😂.....

Jerry Bailey47 said:I'm so sorry. 😢 I get his side of things—I'm usually the type who can't keep a secret, especially when I'm excited about something—even though I actually kept quiet at first after having those initial issues (the bleeding). But on the flip side, I totally get you, too; given everything you've been through, your privacy should have been respected. Hang in there, 😘

The worst part is that this was the first time, and it happened specifically because he insisted we shouldn't tell anyone, even though I'm completely on board with keeping things private.
Kudos to everyone who claims they announce it immediately and everything turns out perfect and happy. In my case, I didn't even find out about my first pregnancy until after the miscarriage, and that was only because I ended up in the ER with complications following a D&C, and my ex—who I stayed with for years—ended up calling his mother to tell her. So yeah, I just had terrible luck. 🙂

So I finally had my first real blowout during this pregnancy 🙂, and now I get why it happened. I held it together for ten whole weeks.
My partner and I agreed we wouldn't tell anyone until there's actually a bump to show. We’ve waited so long for this, and since I had a miscarriage three years ago and this is an IVF pregnancy, I just don't feel the need to share my emotions right now while things feel so fragile. My parents and brother know because we live in the same house, and there's no way they won't notice if I'm stuck in bed for months on end, so I'm struggling with what to say to them. I told my best friend, but she lives halfway across the world.
He insisted we shouldn't tell his mom or sister until I hit the three-month mark, mostly because they'll start all this unnecessary drama that we just can't handle right now. My mother-in-law is already exhausting with her constant questions about when we're having kids and telling stories about everyone she knows who had a miscarriage, even though she never stops pushing. 🙂.
Then... my guy goes over to hang out with his buddy next door, and the local gossip machine—who is basically the biggest chatterbox in town—gets wind of it. It's not that I've lost my mind, I just honestly don't know when I'll be able to talk to him again. He really upset me because I don't think it's okay for people to find out through the grapevine like this. Honestly, my mom is probably going to hear about it at Walmart. I think what he did was incredibly stupid and thoughtless 😢. He shared our news with people he can't trust.
I hope some of you can relate; I just want to keep this private for as long as possible. I'm strong and steady, and I don't need advice or pity for everything I've been through.
Basically, the most stressful part is living in such a small town where everyone knows everything and sticks their nose in everyone else's business. That's just not how I am, and I hate it.
Anyway, IT'S DONE NOW 🙂

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice. I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant.

My Toxo test results came back as follows:
toxoplazma godnii IgM negative
IgG 140 IU/ml - positive

Is there any reason to be worried about these results?

hiddenscout362 said:He’s over 40 and still acting like this? Honestly, he's such a child.

Age and education don't guarantee anything. I've learned that the hard way more times than I can count. Everyone is different.

feralmoose32 said:If I hadn't gone through everything myself, I wouldn't truly understand what she's feeling, which is why I don't even hold it against her...

But then again, she's got that four-year-old nephew who she absolutely adores...
And honestly, he's such a little handful too... 🤷

I really am curious to see how she'll act once I actually have the baby... 🍿

She’ll adore him too, don't worry, I'm sure of it.
Hopefully things settle down for them so they can have a child of their own... I truly wish that for everyone out there fighting this battle.

feralmoose32 said:In our social circle, the oldest kid is only three and a half, so that first pregnancy announcement happened right as my partner and I started living together seriously—and we already knew we were facing some hurdles...
But through all those five babies born in the meantime, I was genuinely the happiest person on earth! I’ve been hovering over them and showering them with love since day one, and we make sure to show up to every single birthday party with a smile on our faces.
I just processed everything differently in my head, and honestly, I truly enjoy being around those kids.

What touched me most was when a friend was at coffee announcing her latest pregnancy—she kept glancing at me like she was waiting for an apology or something, but I just gave her a huge hug, kissed her, and congratulated her from the bottom of my heart.
I suspect it was actually harder on her than it was on me...😬

By the way, my husband's brother and his wife decided to stop fertility treatments after a few attempts and chose not to have kids at all.
But during family dinners at their parents' place, I realized that my pregnancy isn't even mentioned, which feels... 🤮
Whenever someone asks how everything is going, they're all ears, but the moment we arrive... silence.
I told my husband he really needs to talk to his mom about this, because I shouldn't be the one feeling uncomfortable, and they should just act normal.
And then this past Saturday, after dinner, the questions start flying: "How far along are you now?", "When is your next checkup?", blah blah blah... meanwhile, my sister-in-law is sitting right next to us, buried in a magazine, acting like she can't hear a thing.😬
But I haven't let her get to me for a long time—that's just who she is...😉
The only thing I really care about is making sure the rest of the family doesn't start acting weird toward me just because of her.

It's not that I don't love my friends' children with all my heart, but I have found myself in some really awkward situations. My close friends never asked anything, but their other friends would ask these subtle questions that were really bothering me. Usually, I made an effort to visit, just not at the same time as everyone else.

Also, a very dear friend of mine who is single asked her friends with little kids not to invite her to certain gatherings, and they respected that, so she always meets up with the group later.

As for the sister-in-law, look, it isn't easy for her either. Since this is just the internet, I feel silly giving advice, but you've been through everything too, so you know how hard it can be sometimes.

Personally, I don't want anyone asking me about the pregnancy except my husband and my immediate family, and even then, they just ask how I'm doing without getting into details. That works for me, because when everyone starts getting overly euphoric about it, I don't know how I'll manage.🙂

Noah Wells2 said:First off, I'm right there with Zlatan and you. My situation is much the same; I have a cat who stays indoors mostly but gets to stretch her legs outside occasionally. I’ve also dealt with toxoplasmosis (though my vet mentioned it isn't a total guarantee of safety since the virus can reactivate later on). Regardless, the idea of getting rid of her never crosses my mind because she is a member of this family.😍
Secondly, I’ve touched on this before regarding my "good" friend's reaction—or lack thereof—to my pregnancy news, and how another "dear" friend
from about a year and a half ago🙄 hasn't called, texted, or made any effort to contact me at all since I found out four months ago. I know she’s aware, as are her sister, her mother, and our mutual friends. I can guess the possible reasons behind her silence—perhaps she's struggling with her own difficulty conceiving for over a year—but regardless, this behavior feels selfish and entirely unneighborly. I don't expect people to be fascinated by every milestone of my pregnancy, but I do expect my friends to be happy for my happiness. As far as I'm concerned, that friendship is over.☕.

Never say never. Try to see things from her perspective. We dealt with infertility for years, and even though we loved seeing other people's kids, there were certain things I just couldn't handle lately, like kids' birthday parties. They were a total nightmare for me. When everyone else has children, you constantly deal with that awkward "So, when is it your turn?" pressure. I handled it by telling everyone I wouldn't be coming anymore because it was just too hard. I'd always send a gift later, but being in a group of twenty couples where everyone has toddlers and then suddenly prying into my private life was too much.
My husband didn't have the guts to be upfront with his friends, so he just made up excuses for why we couldn't make it. I thought it was pointless, but it was his call and I respect that.
Maybe it's just harder for your friend than it is for you, which is why she can't even pick up the phone or send a text. Give her some grace.

Charles Moore49 said:Charles Moore49, you sound just like my own folks, because my entire family has always been absolutely devoted to animals, and I personally grew up in a home where our cats were treated as true members of the family and lived incredibly long, pampered lives... I eventually passed that same affection down to my husband and his relatives, so now they have their own pets too, while we enjoy our two little ones here... and honestly, I’ve had to navigate some toxic dynamics myself lately...
It truly gets under my skin when people try to lecture me about something they clearly haven't experienced, especially those who claim to be animal lovers yet have the audacity to ask, "Why would you want cats in the first place?"
Then there is this other situation that really caught me off guard involving a friend I thought was "so close," yet she hasn't even reached out in weeks to see how I'm doing or how my doctor's appointment went, and she shows zero interest in my pregnancy—she doesn't ask questions or even realize that I've been on strict bed rest for two whole weeks now... at first, I wondered if I was being dramatic, thinking maybe I expect too much from people, hoping they'd care about how the baby is growing, if I have a new ultrasound photo, or if the little one is kicking left or right... but she isn't even dating, let alone thinking about kids, so she just doesn't get it... do you all think this behavior is forgivable, or are pregnant women just naturally too self-absorbed in their own condition?
And the third thing that is driving me absolutely crazy is my mother-in-law constantly trying to kiss and touch my belly, topped off by her repeatedly demanding, "Let me see my grandbaby!"😠

I think it’s totally forgivable. I don't know how old you are, but I spent years being single and doing my own thing, while many of my friends were getting pregnant and having babies during that time. Honestly, I couldn't relate to what they were going through at all, so I didn't know anything about folic acid, prenatal vitamins, or what size a baby should be at a certain week. I really didn't want to say the wrong thing and look stupid. On the flip side, one of my closest friends was incredibly resentful toward me, and we only reconnected once I told her we were trying for a baby. Now she constantly pushes her advice on me, but I can't stand listening to it. I'm currently going through IVF and have a million different thoughts running through my head, yet she just keeps lecturing me.

My best friend broke up with her guy and moved to another continent for a while. She checks in on Skype to see how I am, but there's nothing more to it than that. I completely understand her—my pregnancy journey is totally foreign territory to her.😬

Jerry Bailey47 said:Wait, why? Is that actually an issue?😕 I had no idea—I've been coloring mine the whole time. I get highlights done every two months without fail. My stylist did mention I should probably hold off while breastfeeding, so I guess I'll be reaching for the headbands then, too. 😉

Look, I'm pregnant via IVF, and sometimes I just overthink things too much. 😢Getting pregnant hasn't been easy for me, especially since my first pregnancy didn't end well. I’ve even found myself smoking in the cold just to cope. I'm doing everything I can to minimize any harmful influences now, mostly just to save myself from the guilt.
On the other hand, I'm dealing with some pretty intense nausea, and certain smells are absolutely killing me right now. I honestly can't picture sitting through a hair coloring session at a salon with my hair being this long. 😂.

Since I haven't told anyone outside of my family about the pregnancy yet, I know that down the road, all those well-meaning 🙂 pieces of advice are going to really get on my nerves.

It’s honestly driving me crazy having to wear headbands and hats all the time for the last two months. I have such bad gray regrowth, and since I really want to look put-together during my pregnancy, I’m constantly stuck using these little hair fixes.
I just don't have the guts to dye it until I'm through this first trimester.....

Tall guys (around 6'1"), skinny build—where are you getting your jeans? I usually shop at Zara, but I can't make it there right now since I'm not in the city. I'm looking for really long models that aren't overpriced and actually fit well. I mostly wear slim fits. Help me out, please!