Posts by Nicole Alvarez81

It seems like you're feeling pretty shaken up by all this. I guess it might be a good idea to maybe reach out to a professional who can help you work through it. Best of luck with everything.🙂

Linda Patel21 said:Nicole Alvarez81, I think I felt the exact same way you did, and looking back, I guess people were actually telling me everything I needed to know, I just couldn't wrap my head around it at the time. My emotions were just so overwhelming that I couldn't see what was right in front of me. I mean, I'm not saying the doctors aren't a bit stingy with their words or that they couldn't try a little harder to be more supportive sometimes... but when I replay the whole thing in my mind, I realize those short, blunt sentences actually contained the truth, it's just that I wasn't ready to accept it. I think I was just waiting for them to say something comforting, or maybe give me some glimmer of hope. But honestly, they would have just been lying to me, and I guess they didn't want to do that. That feeling of being totally helpless really crushed me, too. Even now, nearly a year later, I still struggle with it, and man, it’s tough, even if life keeps moving forward.

It's totally possible that's exactly what happened to me. Everything still feels so raw and fresh, so maybe after some time passes, I'll be able to look back and finally get it. For me, the whole experience was just this massive bubble of emotions, kind of like walking through a thick fog.

I really feel for everyone here because I know exactly what you're going through. I honestly wish I'd found this forum sooner when I was dealing with all of this with my dad. But, I guess I wanted to ask you guys something. I'm not totally sure if it was just because I was so exhausted at the time and couldn't really wrap my head around things, but I had such a hard time with the doctors. It was like they gave me zero information, or maybe just way too little to actually be helpful. Every time I tried to ask them something, they looked at me like I was some kind of alien asking the most ridiculous questions ever. It’s just such an awful, helpless feeling.

I mean, I honestly think it's just better to be 100% yourself without trying too hard to put on an act or anything.

I went through my own version of a "destructive love" when I was 29, and it dragged on for about two and a half years. Honestly, I don't think the actual number of years really matters in these kinds of situations. It feels more like it's about how much of ourselves we decide to give away and when we choose to fully surrender to someone—though, I guess you really have to be careful that you're actually giving it to the right person. If you aren't, you just end up walking away feeling completely broken. But then again, maybe we all just have to go through whatever it is we need to go through. I feel like we use these messy, complicated relationships to work through old wounds that have been sitting there for a long time, one way or another. And hey, I suppose we grow and mature through our most painful connections too. Looking back at that whole relationship now... it almost feels like I was a totally different person back then.

🙄Man, I’ve been dealing with this constant popping sound for like 20 years now. I actually went in for a checkup recently, and I guess the doctor just told me I should probably chew some gum more often to help even out the pressure. That was pretty much it, though. So yeah, it just keeps popping away, I suppose.

Eric Gray2 said:Here, this
might be a helpful resource for you 🙂

Thanks! I was literally just looking for that.

I’m honestly just swimming in questions today, but here’s another one for the group. First off, rowdypanther13, I am so sorry you keep running into those total idiots; it's like they don't have a single brain cell between them, because if they actually did, they probably wouldn't act like that.

It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but I think I only really realized yesterday—I'm not even sure why it took until yesterday specifically—that the streets, the squares, and the schools in this city I live in aren't really set up for people with disabilities at all. I was heading to the post office yesterday and had that sudden "aha" moment. Like, there's one ramp designed for accessibility, but the entire path leading up to it is basically impossible to navigate.

So, my question is this. I don't know if I'm the only one who struggles with this, but I have to ask. I get really conflicted whenever I encounter someone with a disability. On one hand, I don't know if they're in pain, so I tend to be extra helpful and sweet, but then I worry that being overly attentive might feel patronizing, since they probably don't want special treatment. I hope you guys get what I'm getting at. How should I actually behave?