Posts by brisksailor96

There are just so many variables at play here. Why did you leave California in the first place? What’s the job market actually looking like in your field right now? And if you did go back, where specifically would you settle down? I wonder if what you're actually missing is that era of zero responsibility—back when you were living with your parents and could afford to be a bit more reckless. Or is it truly the environment itself that suits you? That slower pace, the atmosphere, having actual free time... things like that.

Washington, D.C. is a fantastic place for networking, climbing the ladder, and finding career growth. But on the flip side, the quality of life there is steadily tanking in so many ways. Between the destruction of green spaces, the chaotic unplanned construction everywhere, the soul-crushing traffic, rising costs, and general instability—it’s exhausting. People are constantly on edge, like walking bombs just waiting to go off. If you're thinking about family life, a smaller town is almost always the better bet.

Ultimately, it comes down to what someone wants and their stage in life. I’m hearing it more and more from people hitting their thirties; they aren't interested in that endless cycle of student-style social life—the constant bars, parties, and events. They start talking about moving back home or settling somewhere quiet. It’s like a full circle: you leave, gain some perspective and experience, and then return to your roots a bit more seasoned and worldly. Smaller towns just offer more breathing room for peace, hobbies, and actually enjoying the little things.

So, there isn't an objectively "right" choice. It’s really just a matter of what matters most to you and how you stack your priorities. Plus, you have to consider where your fiancée sees herself in all of this.

I can't believe nobody has started a thread about this movie yet... Am I really the only sentimentalist on this forum? 😁 Anyway, it was beautiful.
I just finished watching it and I'm honestly still reeling. Based on the trailer, I expected a total tear-jerker, but personally, I found the ending quite uplifting (not sure if I should be spoiling things for those who haven't seen it yet...). There are so many lovely messages tucked away in there, but one core theme really hit home: we are born with the freedom to choose, and that needs to be respected. We spend so much time wondering how we would act in someone else's shoes, yet we forget that we're just human—we see everything through our own narrow lenses and personal filters. I suspect the ending alone could spark some pretty intense moral debates, or whatever. I’d love to hear how everyone else felt about it. Was it just another predictable rom-com to you? Did the ending crush you? Or did I just write a clumsy intro and accidentally spoil it all... 😁 anyway, just throw out whatever comes to mind regarding the film 🙂

P. S. I suspect the book is even better. I usually prefer reading because it lets me visualize the story more deeply, but sometimes a movie just catches you first. The important thing is that it left such a lasting impression. 🙂

There! Any thoughts?

You say you're "stuck in a job you hate, but nobody's asking," so let me be the one to ask: what’s the actual problem? Is it the field itself? Or is it just dealing with the unprofessional, rude crowds you have to face every day?

Reading what you wrote, I’d say it’s highly unlikely you’re actually a pedophile. The core issue here seems to be that your brain is playing far too much with "forbidden" thoughts. Mental loops can happen at any level—like when you're walking down a sidewalk and trying your hardest not to step on a crack. Eventually, the compulsion becomes so strong you feel like you *can't* step on it, and suddenly that thought is running the show. Honestly, if you could just tell yourself firmly, "Stop being an idiot," it would all vanish. With a topic like this, though, it's harder because we're dealing with a massive social taboo. We're all occasionally drawn to controversial or shocking ideas—especially sexual ones—and those thoughts stick easily, particularly if your brain is used to idling, just passively absorbing mindless junk from the internet, Facebook, or sensationalist headlines on CNN. I’d suggest meditation to learn how to manage your thought patterns, along with some honest soul-searching. Maybe you used to view homosexuality as something deviant, and now you're re-evaluating other controversial things that might be on your list.
Thoughts like these aren't out of the ordinary, and it's actually healthy that you can verbalize them. If someone runs away from them or tries to suppress them, things can escalate in a destructive way and end up hurting others. All because they got spooked by passing, perverse thoughts and tried to bury them. So, just be honest and brave with yourself. Ask where these thoughts are coming from; tell yourself truthfully what you're feeling. You don't need to recount every detail to us, but if you realize these fleeting thoughts have turned into obsessive ones (which I assume you want to avoid), just accept them. When they hit, tell yourself: "This is just a bad moment." It doesn't define who I am as a person; it's just a glitch where my brain is messing with me.

I'd also recommend getting out into the real world more (not that you don't have a life, but still). These kinds of thoughts usually strike when you're home alone, spiraling into nonsense. That's when you're most vulnerable, feeling too weak to fight back against the intrusive thoughts, even though you're actually stronger than them overall.

It’s honestly exhausting listening to young people constantly selling themselves short with lines like "I can't," "it's too late," or "I just can't do it."

You can do whatever you want, dear OP. That's actually what makes the world such a magical place—unless, of course, you decide to sabotage yourself by setting limits and deciding you aren't capable. You mentioned falling in love with your job. I'm glad, though I suspect we haven't seen the end of this story yet. As for that idea that you should find fulfillment in just anything? That's a lie corporate executives feed workers to keep them content with minimum wage. Hang in there, everyone; you deserve much better than that 🙂:-)

Paul Thompson3 said:Google😁 I was actually thinking about this yesterday while walking through downtown—I have this little mental game where if two girls walk toward me and one is clearly the "stunning" type, I’ll intentionally make eye contact with the other one just to mess with the prettier girl's ego. 😁 Forget having a hot friend; sure, she might grab more attention at first glance, but it doesn't really matter. It's honestly just about how some women strategically play up a certain look to pull eyes their way—it isn't hard to do, and it doesn't carry much actual substance, even if most guys fall for it instantly.

That line brings to mind a specific image: two girls dressing provocatively just to hunt for attention, dragging along some plus-sized friend to make themselves look even more striking by comparison. Then that third girl gets an ego boost and starts dressing like a total slut too... It happens all the time. They all end up convinced they're some kind of untouchable bombshell. 😁
But fundamentally, there are also those petty tactics where someone intentionally brings along a less "sexy" friend—someone who doesn't put much effort into her looks—just to collect more stares. It's pathetic, but it's the reality. On top of that, it needlessly messes with women's self-esteem and rewards superficiality, which then becomes a hard factor to dismiss when discussing what actually defines a person's identity.

I consider myself lucky, mostly because I’ve actually learned how to appreciate what I have. It’s not like I’ve conquered the world or built some massive empire yet. But I have an amazing boyfriend, my grades at NYU are decent (even if I don't exactly love the coursework), I’ve got my freelance gigs, I stay active, I make art, volunteer, hang out with friends... I find my happiness in those little things, which is why I’m actually quite content with my life. Of course, there are bad days—highs and lows, obviously—nothing is ever perfect. Sometimes a win is just finally cleaning my apartment or nailing a new recipe. It’s a mistake to say happiness lives *only* in the small stuff; it’s more about having a balanced perspective on both the tiny wins and the big goals. You take it step by step toward something major, and the satisfaction grows naturally. Big ambitions are endless, and so is the fulfillment they bring. So, you have to find that equilibrium: making progress every day, accepting that you don't know everything despite being surrounded by an infinite flood of information and experience... The glass always looks better half-full rather than half-empty 🙂

Kevin Nguyen3 said:I don't think I can agree with you on every single point there. I mean, isn't free will exactly that? The freedom to think whatever we want? If someone wants to spiral into thoughts about how empty existence feels... well, okay, they're allowed to.
For some people, that existential questioning is practically their full-time job. I certainly don't see people mass-suiciding over it in large numbers, do you?
Thought is such a massive power, isn't it? To use that mind correctly—to focus on things that actually help people—that might be the greatest reward one could ever receive... seeing a simple smile or eyes filled with genuine gratitude.
Everything else is just noise. Forget it all. You'll never find anything more meaningful than those eyes.

I believe people choose their own states of being (again, barring actual illness), so all this talk about life being meaningless reminds me of people who simply fail to appreciate what they have. They don't bother enough to make their own lives better. Because, like you said, thought is a powerful tool. It makes me think back a few years when my own outlook was pitch black; I was convinced I was the most repulsive person on the planet. I hated myself and actively worked against my own happiness. Everything felt futile, like nothing would ever go right. But it’s surprising how much you can influence your own reality just by stopping the wait for some miracle to fix the void and actually getting moving. My point is, most of these cases are just the result of not putting in the work on oneself. Sure, the reasons vary—from low self-esteem to a dozen other things—but those are different conversations entirely.

Emptiness and general dissatisfaction usually stem from two things: you either have no goals at all, or your expectations are set impossibly high. Either way, you lose the ability to actually enjoy the things you "should" be happy about. The truth is, life shouldn't be some endless waiting for Godot—some grand miracle or sudden burst of sunlight meant to illuminate your darkness and pull you out of a pit of nihilism and negative thoughts. It sounds cliché, I know, but life is built on the small stuff. The tiny, mundane things that actually bring satisfaction. And let’s be honest: obsessing over the inherent meaninglessness of existence is usually just a byproduct of having too much free time and nothing to do with it. As Kevin Nguyen3 would probably put it: if you actually stayed busy doing something productive, you wouldn't be sitting around spiraling. 😁

No matter how it sounds, the statement holds water. Everyone’s out there chasing their own sense of purpose, mapping out next steps, and setting little milestones just to feel like they're moving forward. It doesn't have to be grand. For me, it's usually the small stuff that keeps things from feeling aimless—listening to a favorite track, picking up a decent piece of clothing, grabbing a walk with friends, or helping someone out. That's enough.

I volunteer at a local food bank. Once you spend enough time around people who have been stripped of almost everything yet still maintain this incredible, stubborn will to live, all that whining about "life being meaningless" starts to feel like a joke. It’s practically an insult to existence itself—unless, of course, we're talking about actual illness or clinical depression, which are different stories entirely. But if you're just sitting there feeling like nothing matters? Get moving. Go find some purpose yourself.

Carol Parker said:If you already have a diagnosis, why not just put it in the title?
I don't know much about this specific thing, but I deal with purpura, which is also autoimmune.
Maybe it’s an allergy manifesting this way, or perhaps some kind of bacterial infection
lurking in your system—that’s probably why they're looking for a source.
Try sticking to a cleaner diet and maybe give royal jelly a shot.

I actually figured this out after I already posted... My doctor thinks it likely triggered when my immune system tanked recently. I lost over 10 pounds... And I was already thin to begin with. I was just wondering if anyone here knew a bit more about it.

Carol Parker said:if this is actually about bruising, we might be looking at some kind of autoimmune issue, maybe something like Henoch-Schönlein purpura
regarding the bruises?

http://www.vasdoktor.com/medicina-od...sum?format=pdf

This is... these are the symptoms... I've been digging through everything from ear infections to throat issues to lung problems... basically trying to track down the source... Do you know anything about this?