Posts by briskbison47

You’re an alcoholic.
Look, you’re still functioning, I get it—your eyes aren't yellow from liver failure and you haven't completely lost all your inhibitions—but you’re a drinker. Period. If I took some lonely, drunk old woman wandering the streets of Chicago, someone who hasn't showered in a year, and played her life in reverse, she’d sound exactly like you.
I’m sorry, but it’s just the truth.

You can't just quit drinking until you actually turn your life around, start building healthier habits, and deal with whatever it is that makes you run away into a cycle of excuses and booze.

Carl Brown152 said:Is it really a good thing—or just being a pushover? How much does one even affect the other?

Usually, that’s just how people comfort themselves when they can't stand up for themselves... they call it "being good"... but let's be real—they just don't know how to fight back. It comes from fear, right? And man, that's not exactly something everyone can just learn overnight.

Exactly. A rabbit isn't considered noble because it's harmless.

Steven Brown5 said:Honestly, I think this might be my last time posting here. It seems like nobody is even looking at the actual substance of what's being discussed, and look, I don't mind if the conversation drifts or goes off on a tangent based on how we talk to each other, but once people who have zero credentials start trying to psychoanalyze me, I see absolutely no point in continuing this dialogue.

First off, you have no clue who you're talking to, you don't know anything about my professional background, and you definitely don't have the context needed to pass any kind of judgment.

As for me, everything is pretty much as expected. I'm disappointed, plain and simple. Anyone who’s actually read this thread or my last couple of posts on the Forum can see that.
"Hiding behind trauma" ???
Did I ever explicitly state in my post how I experienced tragedy or trauma?!?!
Just because I’ve dealt with trauma doesn't mean I'm somehow beneath you in a conversation.
I can read between your lines too, but my interpretation of what you're "really" saying is irrelevant here.
I really don't get why you're even typing this, other than your desperate need to frame me as some "victim" that you can swoop in and rescue with your little insights.
The reason you're lashing out at me is pretty obvious—it's a total clash of worldviews.
With me, it's simple: either we communicate like normal adults, or you just leave me alone.
Let me be crystal clear: I am setting a boundary right here, so respect it.
I'll be following my own advice.

So now we've arrived at "worldviews"?
You haven't the slightest clue what my worldview is; I haven't even expressed it here once, let alone twice. Feel free to stay angry at me if you want, it's no problem, but sometimes it's actually useful for a debate to head in an unexpected direction. Perhaps that's the very direction we need to take.
Go ahead and try to psychoanalyze me if you like; maybe I'll finally discover my own worldview through your analysis, since I previously assumed I was outside this narrow echo chamber and that I knew people as individuals rather than by their specific affiliations.

Donna White50 said:The thing is, we don't even know what we're actually talking about here.
Are we talking about you, or someone else? What's the actual issue you're dealing with?
Pushing a topic like this without any context... yeah, that's a hard pass for me.

Look, the woman is clearly hiding behind her trauma. She’s acting like she’s there to play therapist on a couch, but she fails miserably because everything she says is filtered through her own past. It’s honestly hard to watch.
Between the lines, she’s screaming for help, but she refuses to consciously admit that something is wrong—she won't accept that a little bit of sympathy isn't going to save anyone.

Steven Brown5 said:You totally missed the point here.
Professional psychological help is great for everyone, no argument there.
But the whole idea isn't about getting "advice" from random people on the internet; it's about hearing someone else's raw, unfiltered experience. It's about realizing we're going through the same thing.
A month and a half? Man, you're being incredibly optimistic.
A woman I know who's been through this told me things start feeling manageable after three years, and maybe after five, you actually start feeling like yourself again.

"A woman who has experience..." 😵
This is exactly how Steven Brown5 ends up turning anti-vax. You're looking for easy fixes and instant answers, but they don't exist. What works perfectly for Anne might be a total disaster for Joanna, even if they're facing the exact same issue.
Look, you're sharp and intellectually capable enough that I'm certain you'd recover much faster if you just accepted the help.
Don't be reckless...

Steven Brown5 said:@briskbison47
Look, I get that you’re trying to be a decent human being here, and honestly, your intentions toward me are noble enough, but I’m just not the type to play the victim card.
Everything I’ve posted on this Forum comes from someone who was already out there living their life long before any tragedy hit.
I know exactly what I need and when I need it.
Right now, I’m looking for actual assistance, not a shoulder to cry on or a bunch of pity.

If you really want to step up and help, why don't you start a thread that actually brings together a crowd of people dealing with the same stuff I am—something meant for the long haul, not just a quick vent session.

I need that kind of engagement because, frankly, I tend to stay productive even when everything feels like it's falling apart.

I can talk to you later about how I used the internet during my darkest times and the "wisdom" I picked up back then; it's no issue..
I can tell you that if a trauma is truly severe enough, you aren't the same person who existed before the tragedy. That person is gone. You were Person A, then Event B happened, and now you are Person C. Now, you're just stuck trying to adapt to that. It isn't anything bigger than life itself, though it might be something only those with the exact same trauma can grasp.
You aren't the first or the last person to overcomplicate your own problems to an insane degree just to avoid actually helping yourself.
Go see a therapist. Pay the fee; it isn't that expensive. After eighteen months of struggling, a friend dragged me to one, and I felt like a new person within a month.

Steven Brown5 said:I'm here for me—for my own needs, and my priority is helping myself. And helping myself means supporting the individual and the convictions they hold that are even bigger than they are!

Do you seriously think that after everything I've been through, your little outbursts are going to rattle me?
Do you have any idea what kind of things I've looked in the eye?

Buddy, .........
Just chill out.

I’m glad my directness isn't going to rattle you; that’s not my intention. I just want anyone reading this to see that while you might view this as therapy, you aren't really using your head—honestly, you aren't.
It's never my goal to tear anyone down, and frankly, seeing how much strength you have just confirms my decision.

I’m still trying to figure out if you’re actually here to work on yourself or if you’re just playing the role of the martyr to help someone else.
Maybe you're just here for the social aspect, I don't know. But let’s get one thing straight: if you realize you're here for your own sake, then great. Just don't expect me to go easy on you when you inevitably start viewing every single situation through the narrow lens of your own personal tragedy. If you do that, I won't be giving you any special treatment... I'll be brutally blunt.

Steven Brown5 said:Look, this isn't just theory; it's practical reality backed up by actual life experience.
The thing is, you're just calling it "philosophy" because it's based on what you've personally lived through.
And like I said earlier, every single bit of experience has its value. Cmok (I'm being dead serious with you).

Philosophy is essentially just practical reality rebranded through specific tones and citations of people who happened to write things down.
It's pure reductionism—stripping away anything unnecessary until you simplify it enough so that "the whole world gets it."

Hey everyone, let's dive into a little bit of reductionism or maybe just drift into some philosophy

I honestly think it’s incredibly irresponsible and selfish to try and step into a savior role just to heal your own wounds. If you're doing that, you aren't actually helping anyone.
It’s a lot like when a relationship ends and you're left with all this leftover affection; you might try to dump all that love onto someone else just to cope, even though you know deep down you aren't actually ready for a new commitment.
Right now, you aren't in any position to be out there saving people in the Suicide Squad.
I get it, though—the urge to retreat, hide away, and just try to feel human again because you aren't ready to face the world yet.
Just talk to us instead...

Everyone’s got their own set of strengths and weaknesses. Personally, I can't stand all that toxic positivity, "manifesting" nonsense, or those "just embrace yourself" vibes. My philosophy is simpler: pick your battles. Focus on overcoming your own flaws. You have to put up a fight; you don't necessarily have to win every single round, but the act of fighting is what actually matters—it's how you improve. It's just like hitting the gym or doing manual labor. It’s grueling, and most of the time you're just sweating through the grind without seeing any actual progress, until someone finally points out that you actually look and feel phenomenal.