Am I an alcoholic?

Hello everyone! 🙂 I think I might be facing a problem that I don't quite know how to tackle. Alcohol... it seems to be a very frequent presence in my life. On most days, I'll have at least three or four drinks—meaning at least half a bottle of wine. On the weekends, it’s always a full bottle for me. During the week, I'm usually having one, two, or three glasses quite often. I'm starting to worry because that buzzed feeling creates this sense of happiness where I can just "disconnect" from the world, and it feels wonderful...

To give you a little bit of my history... I'm 31, and on paper, everything seems perfectly normal. I finished school, went through college, and have a steady job. But ever since I was a teenager, maybe 15 or 16, when weekend parties and going out first started, I always felt the need to drink until I was completely hammered. Always until I didn't feel so great. Back then, though, it was strictly a weekend thing. That changed about three years ago when I finally moved out of my parents' house into my own apartment. That's when I realized how lovely it is to get drunk all by myself. You don't have to talk to anyone; you just relax and sip away. The trouble is, slowly but surely, this has become more appealing than actually socializing with people. And once I start, it's so difficult to stop, so I often end up drinking alone...

Though, I suppose I am still somewhat "responsible," since I don't overdo it during the work week, mostly because I know I have to be able to function at my job.

People... what should I do? Should I look into Alcoholics Anonymous or something similar? Are there others out there dealing with the same thing? 😵😵

http://www.alkoholizam.com/test6.htm

Look, just go ahead and take the CAGE assessment—that'll give you your answer. It’s actually a solid tool; I believe they use it quite a bit in clinical settings and for actual scientific research studies.

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silentcanyon83 said:Hello everyone! 🙂 I think I might be facing a problem that I don't quite know how to tackle. Alcohol... it seems to be a very frequent presence in my life. On most days, I'll have at least three or four drinks—meaning at least half a bottle of wine. On the weekends, it’s always a full bottle for me. During the week, I'm usually having one, two, or three glasses quite often. I'm starting to worry because that buzzed feeling creates this sense of happiness where I can just "disconnect" from the world, and it feels wonderful...

To give you a little bit of my history... I'm 31, and on paper, everything seems perfectly normal. I finished school, went through college, and have a steady job. But ever since I was a teenager, maybe 15 or 16, when weekend parties and going out first started, I always felt the need to drink until I was completely hammered. Always until I didn't feel so great. Back then, though, it was strictly a weekend thing. That changed about three years ago when I finally moved out of my parents' house into my own apartment. That's when I realized how lovely it is to get drunk all by myself. You don't have to talk to anyone; you just relax and sip away. The trouble is, slowly but surely, this has become more appealing than actually socializing with people. And once I start, it's so difficult to stop, so I often end up drinking alone...

Though, I suppose I am still somewhat "responsible," since I don't overdo it during the work week, mostly because I know I have to be able to function at my job.

People... what should I do? Should I look into Alcoholics Anonymous or something similar? Are there others out there dealing with the same thing? 😵😵

Look, you're 31—it might be time to hit the brakes. You really don't want to reach that stage where you can't even fall asleep without being buzzed.
If you're struggling to sleep, honestly, just take a sleeping pill instead.

You’re an alcoholic.
Look, you’re still functioning, I get it—your eyes aren't yellow from liver failure and you haven't completely lost all your inhibitions—but you’re a drinker. Period. If I took some lonely, drunk old woman wandering the streets of Chicago, someone who hasn't showered in a year, and played her life in reverse, she’d sound exactly like you.
I’m sorry, but it’s just the truth.

You can't just quit drinking until you actually turn your life around, start building healthier habits, and deal with whatever it is that makes you run away into a cycle of excuses and booze.

silentcanyon83 said:Hello everyone! 🙂 I think I might be facing a problem that I don't quite know how to tackle. Alcohol... it seems to be a very frequent presence in my life. On most days, I'll have at least three or four drinks—meaning at least half a bottle of wine. On the weekends, it’s always a full bottle for me. During the week, I'm usually having one, two, or three glasses quite often. I'm starting to worry because that buzzed feeling creates this sense of happiness where I can just "disconnect" from the world, and it feels wonderful...

To give you a little bit of my history... I'm 31, and on paper, everything seems perfectly normal. I finished school, went through college, and have a steady job. But ever since I was a teenager, maybe 15 or 16, when weekend parties and going out first started, I always felt the need to drink until I was completely hammered. Always until I didn't feel so great. Back then, though, it was strictly a weekend thing. That changed about three years ago when I finally moved out of my parents' house into my own apartment. That's when I realized how lovely it is to get drunk all by myself. You don't have to talk to anyone; you just relax and sip away. The trouble is, slowly but surely, this has become more appealing than actually socializing with people. And once I start, it's so difficult to stop, so I often end up drinking alone...

Though, I suppose I am still somewhat "responsible," since I don't overdo it during the work week, mostly because I know I have to be able to function at my job.

People... what should I do? Should I look into Alcoholics Anonymous or something similar? Are there others out there dealing with the same thing? 😵😵

silentcanyon83 said:Still, I’m being "responsible" enough not to overdo it during the week. I have to actually show up for work, after all.

It’s probably obvious to you that for an addict, every single moment is just one long phase of being 'Trapp'.I'm just not at that stage yet.'
In that phase—which, let’s be honest, was deemed "unacceptable" just yesterday.

You say:The issue is this. What? It became trivial for me. It’s even better than..."

silentcanyon83 The user said:... What should I do? Anonymous alcoholics, or what? Anyone else out there like me?

Quit drinking.

They're definitely out there.
And they’re still drinking, since the work is still ongoing. The boiled frog syndrome. It’s a classic metaphor for a reason. People think they can ignore small, incremental shifts in reality because nothing feels catastrophic in the moment. They settle into a slow decline, waiting for a sudden shock that never comes—because by then, the environment has already changed too much to survive. It’s a warning against complacency. Watch the temperature. The boiling frog syndrome. Someone’s turning up the heat while you're just sitting there, oblivious..

As briskbison47 puts it:
"If you took some lonely, drunken old lady wandering the streets, smelling like she hasn't seen a shower in a year, and turned back the clock on her—she’d sound exactly like you.."
Her story would basically be a carbon copy of your opening post.

Am I an alcoholic? Yes.
The question is simple: have you reached physical dependency yet? If you haven't hit that stage, then seeing a therapist or joining an AA meeting is a perfectly viable option.
It’s absolutely necessary—if you can’t, or simply "won't," put an end to your own downward spiral.

You probably know why you're running toward the Morphine. Or at least, you suspect the reasons—provided you aren't too afraid to actually look them in the eye.

silentcanyon83 said:Hello everyone! 🙂 I think I might be facing a problem that I don't quite know how to tackle. Alcohol... it seems to be a very frequent presence in my life. On most days, I'll have at least three or four drinks—meaning at least half a bottle of wine. On the weekends, it’s always a full bottle for me. During the week, I'm usually having one, two, or three glasses quite often. I'm starting to worry because that buzzed feeling creates this sense of happiness where I can just "disconnect" from the world, and it feels wonderful...

To give you a little bit of my history... I'm 31, and on paper, everything seems perfectly normal. I finished school, went through college, and have a steady job. But ever since I was a teenager, maybe 15 or 16, when weekend parties and going out first started, I always felt the need to drink until I was completely hammered. Always until I didn't feel so great. Back then, though, it was strictly a weekend thing. That changed about three years ago when I finally moved out of my parents' house into my own apartment. That's when I realized how lovely it is to get drunk all by myself. You don't have to talk to anyone; you just relax and sip away. The trouble is, slowly but surely, this has become more appealing than actually socializing with people. And once I start, it's so difficult to stop, so I often end up drinking alone...

Though, I suppose I am still somewhat "responsible," since I don't overdo it during the work week, mostly because I know I have to be able to function at my job.

People... what should I do? Should I look into Alcoholics Anonymous or something similar? Are there others out there dealing with the same thing? 😵😵

You aren't an alcoholic yet, which is the good news. You can function without it, but you're using it as a crutch, and you're well on your way to becoming one.
You need to see a doctor immediately and start tackling the actual reasons why you're drinking. Right now, you should seek out professional therapy—maybe something for anxiety—while you work through whatever dissatisfaction or issues you're dealing with.

This is your last chance to catch the train before it leaves the station. You're young, you've got your whole life ahead of you.
You're basically anesthetizing yourself because you're hurting, but don't do that; try to be kinder to yourself instead.
Come on, go help yourself the right way.

Maybe get your liver checked...

redpilot37 said:Maybe get your liver checked...

Look, you aren't necessarily an alcoholic, you just drink constantly. Seriously though, go get your liver checked.🤣🤣🤣🤣

Honestly, I’d much rather just stay in and deal with 600mg of Q-Pina, 40mg of Normabela, and 5mg of Lorsilana than bother putting on shoes to go out and socialize. Or, frankly, just hitting a line of Morphine. So, hey, you be the judge. I should probably mention that my social circle isn't exactly huge to begin with, but even then, staying put feels way more comfortable than the whole ordeal of actually leaving the house.

Patrick Patel4 said:Honestly, I’d much rather just stay in and deal with 600mg of Q-Pina, 40mg of Normabela, and 5mg of Lorsilana than bother putting on shoes to go out and socialize. Or, frankly, just hitting a line of Morphine. So, hey, you be the judge. I should probably mention that my social circle isn't exactly huge to begin with, but even then, staying put feels way more comfortable than the whole ordeal of actually leaving the house.

Yeah, except unlike the stuff mixed with booze, you actually have to swallow all that crap. Honestly, if I could, I’d kick you right in the ass because you clearly have zero patience and just end up Trapp-ing everything in sight.

I don't know if you struggle with drinking or not, but man—I get you. Or at least, I think I do.

Patrick Patel4 said:Honestly, I’d much rather just stay in and deal with 600mg of Q-Pina, 40mg of Normabela, and 5mg of Lorsilana than bother putting on shoes to go out and socialize. Or, frankly, just hitting a line of Morphine. So, hey, you be the judge. I should probably mention that my social circle isn't exactly huge to begin with, but even then, staying put feels way more comfortable than the whole ordeal of actually leaving the house.

And then there's this whole "just go outside" thing, blah blah blah... Like, is it really so crazy that being alone feels better than being with others? We know ourselves best, right? Honestly, I don't see what I ever gained by forcing myself to go somewhere just for the sake of going. 😕

briskbison47 said:Yeah, except unlike the stuff mixed with booze, you actually have to swallow all that crap. Honestly, if I could, I’d kick you right in the ass because you clearly have zero patience and just end up Trapp-ing everything in sight.

Look, I'm Trapp-ing whatever I can get my hands on. Nothing's really off-limits for me—it's all part of my own weird version of therapy, even when I wasn't officially "treating" anything. In the past, I used to do it just because staying home was way easier than heading out and feeling like a total loser, standing in some corner at a party listening to the music because I was too terrified to actually talk to anyone. But this whole Morphine thing? That's a completely different animal.

Carl Brown152 said:I don't know if you struggle with drinking or not, but man—I get you. Or at least, I think I do.

And then there's this whole "just go outside" thing, blah blah blah... Like, is it really so crazy that being alone feels better than being with others? We know ourselves best, right? Honestly, I don't see what I ever gained by forcing myself to go somewhere just for the sake of going. 😕

There is this tiny part of me that wants to head out, but it also wants to actually *find* something once I'm out there. Not just wander around staring at nothing while nothing happens. The issue is, I can't really bring myself to do anything solo. And even if I had someone to go with, that's its own mess. Lately, things haven't been great in that department... mostly just getting a hard "NO." Obviously, that isn't the only reason I'd want to leave the house, but for me, going out is about finding an opportunity for something more.

It seems pretty obvious to everyone reading this that the whole point of drinking—at least for those stuck in that cycle—is to try and numb the pain, you know? To fake some kind of "happiness" for a little while...
But let’s be real, alcohol doesn't actually have that kind of power over your life; all it really does is turn you into a functional alcoholic.
I've seen plenty of people end up in deep water or just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but you can choose to be the one who actually faces the music and builds a life that’s actually worth living without needing a bottle to tolerate it.

The truth is, you can't pull this off solo. That's just how the math works right now: go find a professional, lean on your friends, find a support group, and don't just focus on the booze—address the actual reasons why you're reaching for it in the first place.
You’re likely dealing with a depressive episode, so please, just get some help. Those episodes pass if you work through them, but addiction is a whole different beast, and if you ignore the underlying issues, they aren't going anywhere—they just fester and get way worse.

briskbison47 said:Look, you aren't necessarily an alcoholic, you just drink constantly. Seriously though, go get your liver checked.🤣🤣🤣🤣

Honestly, I hate slapping labels on people. A woman just wants to unwind, and if that’s how she does it, who cares? It isn't an issue unless she's getting behind the wheel drunk. Or maybe her liver is struggling... just a thought. My anti-seizure meds—probably—did more damage to my liver than anything else. If I’d actually been drinking, I might have fared better. My old man used to drink a liter of wine a day for fifty years and had better liver results than I did at my last checkup. So, think about it.

Patrick Patel4 said:Honestly, I’d much rather just stay in and deal with 600mg of Q-Pina, 40mg of Normabela, and 5mg of Lorsilana than bother putting on shoes to go out and socialize. Or, frankly, just hitting a line of Morphine. So, hey, you be the judge. I should probably mention that my social circle isn't exactly huge to begin with, but even then, staying put feels way more comfortable than the whole ordeal of actually leaving the house.

To each their own.div>

redpilot37 said:Honestly, I hate slapping labels on people. A woman just wants to unwind, and if that’s how she does it, who cares? It isn't an issue unless she's getting behind the wheel drunk. Or maybe her liver is struggling... just a thought. My anti-seizure meds—probably—did more damage to my liver than anything else. If I’d actually been drinking, I might have fared better. My old man used to drink a liter of wine a day for fifty years and had better liver results than I did at my last checkup. So, think about it.

To each their own.div>

I once knew a smoker who practiced free diving.
Your dad was an addict.
Look, I know this might sound a bit intense, but being an addict doesn't automatically mean someone is non-functional or unable to adapt to life. And nobody needs a liter of wine a day unless they’re an alcoholic.
Addictions, especially alcoholism, are strange in one specific way: there are always much worse cases. When you see your father functioning perfectly fine, it’s hard to accept he’s an alcoholic, whereas when you see some drunk stumbling down the street, it's obvious.

When I was a kid working in diners, I saw enough to stay etched in my memory for life. Two alcoholics would come in—eyes bloodshot and yellowed, livers shot, smelling purely of whiskey. One would just order the whiskey and head straight to the restroom, while the other looked me dead in the eye and said, "Kid, give me the whiskey along with a glass of water so I can dilute this; I'm not as wasted as this guy, I don't want the Reaper coming for me too early."

Neither of them lived to see the fall.

There is such a thing as a functional addict. When people like that finally break free from the chains of addiction, everyone looks at them in total confusion because they didn't even realize there was a problem—they just notice that the person is better, happier, more sincere, and more stable.

briskbison47 said:I once knew a smoker who practiced free diving.
Your dad was an addict.
Look, I know this might sound a bit intense, but being an addict doesn't automatically mean someone is non-functional or unable to adapt to life. And nobody needs a liter of wine a day unless they’re an alcoholic.
Addictions, especially alcoholism, are strange in one specific way: there are always much worse cases. When you see your father functioning perfectly fine, it’s hard to accept he’s an alcoholic, whereas when you see some drunk stumbling down the street, it's obvious.

When I was a kid working in diners, I saw enough to stay etched in my memory for life. Two alcoholics would come in—eyes bloodshot and yellowed, livers shot, smelling purely of whiskey. One would just order the whiskey and head straight to the restroom, while the other looked me dead in the eye and said, "Kid, give me the whiskey along with a glass of water so I can dilute this; I'm not as wasted as this guy, I don't want the Reaper coming for me too early."

Neither of them lived to see the fall.

There is such a thing as a functional addict. When people like that finally break free from the chains of addiction, everyone looks at them in total confusion because they didn't even realize there was a problem—they just notice that the person is better, happier, more sincere, and more stable.

That's where most people trip up. Those whose livers are failing... they eat maybe one sandwich a day or barely eat at all. I know because an old friend died that way. He just collapsed one morning after drinking since dawn. His only food was that one sandwich.

My dad is an alcoholic, but not the type who hits the bars. He's the type who sits on a bench outside the apartment building with his buddies. Now that my mom has dementia, he's cut back and regulated himself a bit. He refuses to let himself go the way she did. He used to pass out on the sidewalk outside and wouldn't even be able to make it up the stairs to the apartment because he was drinking so hard.

Otherwise, he eats healthy, cooks, and rides his bike. He stays very active.

redpilot37 said:That's where most people trip up. Those whose livers are failing... they eat maybe one sandwich a day or barely eat at all. I know because an old friend died that way. He just collapsed one morning after drinking since dawn. His only food was that one sandwich.

My dad is an alcoholic, but not the type who hits the bars. He's the type who sits on a bench outside the apartment building with his buddies. Now that my mom has dementia, he's cut back and regulated himself a bit. He refuses to let himself go the way she did. He used to pass out on the sidewalk outside and wouldn't even be able to make it up the stairs to the apartment because he was drinking so hard.

Otherwise, he eats healthy, cooks, and rides his bike. He stays very active.

Functional alcoholics...
I hope you haven't been dealing with those sudden outbursts of rage or that total lack of impulse control you typically see in addicts.
My old man was a total alcoholic, but honestly? He ate like a king and had enough charm to win over anyone in the room.

briskbison47 said:Functional alcoholics...
I hope you haven't been dealing with those sudden outbursts of rage or that total lack of impulse control you typically see in addicts.
My old man was a total alcoholic, but honestly? He ate like a king and had enough charm to win over anyone in the room.

What about yours?
He lost it on my mom a few times... and on me. He actually flipped a chair on me when I was a teenager because I swiped a few bucks from his pocket while he was napping—didn't want to wake him up. He felt bad about it later, obviously... but whatever. Between that and the trauma I went through with my boyfriend's dad... then there was that accident where a yacht smashed our little boat while I was out at sea with my guy, forcing me to jump into the water. Add in the bullying from the kids on my block, and they basically turned me into an emotional wreck. Now I'm in my late 30s and I can't even make a simple decision without second-guessing myself a thousand times over.
I’m too much of a pushover, too. I can't say no, so people around here just take advantage of me.

redpilot37 said:What about yours?
He lost it on my mom a few times... and on me. He actually flipped a chair on me when I was a teenager because I swiped a few bucks from his pocket while he was napping—didn't want to wake him up. He felt bad about it later, obviously... but whatever. Between that and the trauma I went through with my boyfriend's dad... then there was that accident where a yacht smashed our little boat while I was out at sea with my guy, forcing me to jump into the water. Add in the bullying from the kids on my block, and they basically turned me into an emotional wreck. Now I'm in my late 30s and I can't even make a simple decision without second-guessing myself a thousand times over.
I’m too much of a pushover, too. I can't say no, so people around here just take advantage of me.

Ugh, don't even get me started on the absolute mess that was my household growing up.
The only thing that ever worked in my favor was being a pretty kid, which got me plenty of attention from girls, but I didn't really start building actual friendships or meaningful relationships until much more recently.

briskbison47 said:Ugh, don't even get me started on the absolute mess that was my household growing up.
The only thing that ever worked in my favor was being a pretty kid, which got me plenty of attention from girls, but I didn't really start building actual friendships or meaningful relationships until much more recently.

Yeah, maybe it’s better to just focus on the positives. Like, hey, you were an attractive kid... When I talk this openly about past trauma, I feel like I'm just fishing for sympathy... but whatever, I want to be strong. Still, it's a reality you can't just run away from. There's power in us—we can either deal with it or just remain unknown. But honestly, the reality is that it left its mark.